《Greg Kills God》Greg Kills a chair
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“Who’s Next?” Greg asked while staring soullessly at the till in front of him.
He looked up dully and noticed that nobody in the queue had heard him.
“WHO IS NEXT!” He shouted.
An elderly woman hobbled up to his till and placed a full basket of groceries in front of him.
He hated this part. Judging by how many things she was trying to buy, the old woman would never be able to fit them all in the single bag she had brought.
“Do you need a bag with that?” He asked.
“No, it should be fine,” the old woman said, shaking her head and raising the single bag that would never be able to fit everything in it.
Greg knew what would happen next. First, they would try to put everything in that bag, when it didn’t fit, she would ask for another bag.
He would then have to inform her that bags now cost 10 credits.
After hearing this, the old woman would freak out and rant at him about how ‘Bags had no right costing that much,’
Just as he was about to ask the old woman the dreaded question.
She died.
Or to be more specific, she exploded.
So did about half of the people in the store. Almost everyone who looked older than 40 just combusted.
Greg stared dumbly at the blood that had splattered all over the glass shield that lay between him and what used to be an old woman.
“Shit! I’ll never get this all cleaned up in time for closing the shop,” Greg grumbled.
…
Half a year had passed since that day. Just like Greg had predicted, he had gotten home late. In fact, he hadn’t gotten home until well into the night.
However, he could never have predicted what would have kept him from getting home.
The end of the world.
Which, in the end, had turned out to be quite a temporary thing. One moment, things were continuing as they usually did, the next.
Around half of the world’s population exploded.
Contrary to what you might think, this did not mean the number of people on earth decreased. Quite the opposite.
Earth, if it could even be called that anymore, now has infinitely more people living on it than before.
To this day, nobody knew quite what happened, people only knew one thing for sure.
God had died.
And this wasn’t god with a small g. This wasn’t the god of the sun or the god of spoons. This was God with a capital G. The big cheese.
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Had gone and died.
The exact circumstances of God’s death nobody quite knew. The consequences, however, were clear for all to see.
Firstly, Reality collapsed into its natural state and all the collective alternate worlds fell into each other, creating a massive amalgamation of every world that had previously existed as separate entities.
Secondly, there was now a vacancy at the top. The throne of creation now had an empty spot, and it would be an understatement to say people were gunning for the top spot.
Not that Greg cared.
He still worked at the corner store. Just because reality collapsed, didn’t mean people didn’t need cigarettes and bread.
And someone, namely Greg, still had to sell people those cigarettes.
“Oi, Greg, your lunch break is over,” His manager shouted into the breakroom.
Those were quite possibly his least favourite words of all time. “Yeah!” He yelled back as he dragged himself up out of the single, uncomfortable plastic chair that was the only piece of furniture that adorned the break room.
This plastic chair was part of his manager’s ingenious plan to make the break room as uncomfortable as possible in order to stop people from taking breaks.
Spoiler, it didn’t work.
Greg stomped out of the break room and walked into the shop, making a beeline for his usual till.
On the till beside him was one of the few people he actually liked at work.
A heavy set, balding man with terrible sweat stains on his wrinkled white shirt. To this day, Greg had no idea why a man who sweated this much insisted on wearing a white shirt.
“Good break Greg?” The big man asked.
“The usual, although today, I really did consider destroying that chair,” Greg grumbled.
The big man laughed. It was a hearty chortle that came right from his sizable gut, “Hahaha, if you break that chair, Big mike might do away with furniture altogether,”
“No way! But…” Greg couldn’t finish talking because a lady with purple skin had just walked up to his till.
“Hi,” she said and placed her basket in front of him.
‘I am still surprised that I can understand the otherworlders. The system sure is something!’ Greg marvelled internally.
“Hi,” Greg said politely and began scanning her items.
Just as he was about to ask her if she wanted a bag, the woman spoke up.
“Could I get a bag with that and… two… No, Three Essence,” She asked politely.
“Sure thing,” Greg said, fishing around beneath him for a bag and the key to the Essence vault.
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He handed the lady the bag and jogged into the back of the store where they kept the Essence.
Essence was a new addition to the store that Greg still hadn’t quite got his head around.
When the worlds had collided, in an event that had come to be known as the Fall, a lot of things had changed.
Ether, a type of magical energy had begun to appear on earth and all the nearby realities that didn’t already have it.
Ether appeared in Springs known as life-wells. And Essence was crystallised Ether that formed near these springs.
Greg wasn’t quite sure of the use of this Ether because, despite ether permeating Earth, very few Natives of Earth could actually use or manipulate it in a meaningful way yet.
In the past, he had held an essence in his hand and felt nothing except for a slight chill which was normal apparently.
According to the otherworlders, humans from Earth would need time to acclimatise to the new environment they lived in before they could control Ether.
Of course, there are some exceptions to this. Greg had heard of quite a few superhumans who could control Ether and achieved great things with it. But those were the minority and almost exclusively very young.
Apparently, the younger you are, the easier it is to acclimatise to Ether.
Greg himself was still only 21 which meant he would still take a while to acclimatise.
He pulled three Essence, which took the form of a glowing red crystal from the vault and brought them back out to the till handing them to the lady after she had paid.
As she left, he noticed the long, curved bow that was strapped to her back.
“Must be a hunter, what do you think Paul?” He said casually.
“Looks like it. I’ve been seeing far more of them recently,” Paul said, wiping some sweat from his brow.
“What do you think brings them here?” Greg mused.
“I heard that, since the animals on earth only recently got access to Ether, they are still quite weak and are suitable for rookie hunters to start with,” Paul explained.
“Hm, that makes sense. I wouldn’t want to start off fighting a dragon. But I could definitely stomp a few rabbits, Ether or not,” Greg proclaimed boldly.
Paul shook his head, “No way man, Have you even seen a rabbit lately? They are about the size of a pig and can jump as high as a house. Deadly stuff,” Paul disagreed.
“I don’t care. Give me a sword and I could kill rabbits all day. Do you have any idea how much money Hunters make?” Greg said
“How much?” Paul asked.
“5000 credits per rabbit,” Greg said grimly.
“What! Are you serious? I make that in a day,” Paul spluttered.
“I know, it’s crazy,” Greg lamented. “Apparently the government, as well as loads of research companies, are trying to buy animals that have been affected with Ether in order to study them,”
Paul rubbed his hands together, thinking about how much money he could make as a hunter. Then, he sighed glumly, like a popped balloon. “I don’t think I could be a hunter though,” he said.
“Why not?” Greg asked curiously.
“I read online that the most likely to awaken Ether control abilities are young people and people in good shape. I am neither,” Paul said, looking down at his sweaty armpits and protruding belly.
Greg glanced down at his skinny frame. He wasn’t in good shape, but at least he was young.
…
After the end of his shift, Greg walked out of the store and headed to the park between the shop and his house.
Although it was a slight detour, he liked walking through the park because it helped clear his head. And ever since Ether had arrived, he felt like the air had become fresher.
Not only that, but the plants had also grown bigger and more exotic. Exuding a vibrant feeling of life and energy.
Greg entered the Park without really looking where he was going. He had done this exact walk a hundred times and could pretty much do it with his eyes closed.
He was preoccupied with thoughts of what he would have for dinner.
‘Sarah better not make another veggie burger, I know that hunting animals has become harder but I refuse to eat only vegetables,’ He worried.
Greg stepped off the path and between two trees, taking a shortcut through a heavily overgrown area that brought him right in front of his flat. Once he got there, all he had to do was jump over the fence and then…
The ground shook beneath his feet, yanking him out of his own head.
He looked beneath him just in time to see a blinding purple light exploding beneath his feet.
Before being bathed in a freezing purple glow, Greg’s Final thoughts were, “My uniform will be ruined,”
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