"...and then you just turn right on the Revolutionary Square and onto Khruschevinosky Street, and if you look to your left there'll be a sign for Lavinska's Consultation Bureau," the old man said benignly. Spade nodded slowly.

"Right, awesome, uh, are there any landmarks along the way? You know, interesting buildings and stuff, to make sure I don't get lost," Spade said, gesturing helplessly.

"Oh don't you worry, youngster! There ain't much in the way of those, but if you just keep an eye out for the street signs, you'll be as right as rain," the older man next to the first one chimed in. There was a chorus of agreements from the entire assembly of old men playing poker.

Spade thanked them and walked away, groaning internally. That had been completely useless for him, but whatever. If this was a world with internet, he could download a navigation map and use voice-to-text, but this world didn't have internet. If Joyce were here she could use her Navigation skill, but Joyce was busy dropping off the Demon King boy at Mohan's house. It would be a while, especially if there were cookies involved. Spade shook his head and sighed, resigning himself to braving the 10-minute journey alone.

/////

Joyce let the steam of the tea seep into her skin, holding the teacup to her mouth without drinking as she blankly stared out the window. Every time she blinked, the scenery outside was from a different mountain. Determined not to be outdone, Joyce kept her eyes open until they watered, and the scenery stayed the same. Even after applying the Endurance skill, Joyce's eyes were dripping tears into the teacup after five minutes. She blinked. The scenery changed again. Just as she was about to use the Unblinking Eye skill, which would conveniently do what it claimed, the door to the living room opened.

"Hey Mohan," she said. She balked at their disapproving glare. "What's up?" The ageless being sighed and made their way to the couch, sitting down with a second, more disapproving sigh. Mohan leaned into the couch, ignoring Joyce. Seeing that she wasn't going to get their attention anytime soon, Joyce activated the Unblinking Eye skill, staring intently out the window. After she'd watched the same mountaintop scenery with satisfaction for almost fifteen minutes, Mohan abruptly called her name. She swiveled to stare unblinkingly at them instead.

"What exactly do you expect me to do with a baby Demon King?" Mohan asked in a disgruntled tone, knowing full well what Joyce expected them to do. Joyce shrugged.

"Can't you raise him? I mean, an overpowered traumatized child seems right up your alley," Joyce offered. Mohan stared her down, also unblinkingly.

"Don't just drop children on my doorstep and expect me to deal with them," Mohan said, voice harsh and firm. Joyce gave them what she hoped was an appeasing smile.

"I mean, he can't live among normal people, and he's never learned how to control his magic. I don't know what the next world I'm going to will be like either, not to mention that I'm probably unqualified to raise a kid, but you know, the whole schmick about being close to nature is good for kids stuff. You're literally the Mountain Spirit, how much closer to nature can we get?" Joyce offered in an innocent tone, hoping that if she just kept talking long enough they would agree if only to get her to shut up.

Mohan had more or less already accepted raising the boy, but it went against their principles to accept requests so easily. The two went back and forth a while longer before finally agreeing that no, Joyce and Spade could not raise a kid, and that yes, the liminal space of the Mountain Spirit's domain probably was a pretty good place to raise a baby Demon King.

It also solved the problem of "what world is suitable to raise a Demon King in without, you know, making the world go ka-boom", since Mohan's domain was literally every mountain in the universe, simultaneously. Their house both existed and did not exist in all of the mountains, all at once. The only problem was that Mohan was the only one who could move between the mountaintops freely by just opening the front door to the mountain they wanted, everyone else would just end up back in the mountain they'd entered from. That probably wasn't a big deal, Joyce had entered from the Altan Mountain Ranges, one of the largest and least inhabited zones in the world she was currently mapping.

Joyce finally downed her tea in one go. The steam of the still-hot tea made her eyes feel tender, and she released the Unblinking Eye skill, rubbing at her lids. She glanced outside the window. It was a different mountain.

"Goddamn," she muttered.

"Joyce," Mohan said, their tone shifting into nagging-grandparent mode. "Have you given thought to what we discussed last time?"

Last time had been a session where Mohan sat Spade and Joyce down and grilled them for hours before finally coming to the conclusion that Joyce's inability to unlock a translation skill probably stemmed from a deep-rooted trauma somewhere in her psyche. Joyce took a deep breath and nodded in response to their question.

"Yes, I have," she said seriously. "I think I'm traumatized from going to Chinese school as a kid."

Mohan set down their teacup with a clink, face curling into a frown. "What?"

"Yeah, my mom made me go because she wanted me to learn Chinese, said it was good to connect with my roots and all that, but I did really badly in class and the teacher yelled at me a lot," Joyce said.

"That's your deep-rooted trauma?" Mohan asked, carefully maintaining a neutral tone.

"That's my deep-rooted trauma. Is it not traumatic enough to pass a litmus test or something?" Joyce said. Unfortunately, that really was it. She'd grown up in a more-or-less normal environment with very few chances to gain deep-rooted traumas, so that was the stupid origin story for her greatest weakness.

After mulling it over for a bit, Mohan shook their head. "No, if it's traumatic to you then it's traumatic enough. I was just surprised...I was expecting something more dramatic," they said calmly.

Joyce slid down in her seat a bit more, reaching out to take more cookies off the table. "Any good ideas?" Joyce asked. Mohan stared at her.

"The answer lies within you, Joyce. You have to overcome your trauma by yourself if you want to unlock a translation skill," Mohan said. Joyce threw her free hand in the air, her other hand carefully balancing a precarious amount of cookies.

"It's not even that traumatic to me, how the fuck do I get over something that doesn't bother me?!" Joyce groaned. Mohan levelly stared her down. Unlike her, they were still unblinking. Joyce sighed, accepting that there wouldn't be a straightforward answer today. She resigned herself to eating cookies instead. Mohan was still staring at her.

"What?" Joyce asked, defensively pulling the pile of cookies closer to herself.

"The boy's name is Ares," Mohan said. Joyce blinked and realized the conversation had gone back to the child Demon King.

"Oh ok, that's a pretty cool name I guess," Joyce replied.

"Since you brought him here, you should come to visit him often," Mohan said. They held up a hand as Joyce moved to decline. "This is not optional. Either you visit twice a month or you raise him yourself."

"Is this forced visitation rights?" Joyce demanded. "I mean I'm sure he's a good kid, but seriously, why?"

Mohan shrugged their shoulders gracefully. "Spade should come too. Ares seemed to rather like the two of you." They spoke with finality before reaching across the table and taking a cookie back from Joyce's hand. Joyce followed Mohan's movement with her eyes as they neatly swallowed the entire cookie in one bite and wisely chose not to keep pushing at this point, for fear that Mohan would really dump child custody to the two of them instead.

"Ok," she said. "But you better feed us when we visit." She decided to take Mohan's unblinking smirk as a yes and ate another cookie.