Chet Watakeekul

Vincent's breathing slowed, deepened and I knew he was asleep. My plan had not been to stay the entire night. I needed to get my dad's car back to him before he had to leave for work in the morning. He didn't even know I borrowed it. But how could I leave Vincent? I couldn't. Especially not with his head on my chest and his arms around me.

His arms were going to fall asleep if he left them like that. I shifted and moved his arms from underneath me. His head moved slightly on my chest, but he quickly settled on me and never actually woke. He was so tall and he was down so far on the bed that his feet stuck out over the end of the bed. I pulled the quilt from the other side of the bed and wrapped it around us so we were wrapped like a burrito. It appeared I would be spending the night. I pulled one of his pillows underneath my head and wrapped my arms around him. His deep breath made my own eyes slowly close.

I woke some time later. The light over his table by the kitchen had been left on through the night. There was a large window by his bed with dark blinds which were currently closed. If it had been daylight though, the light still would have streamed through in places, but it was dark. I tried to dig my phone out of my pocket, but I quickly realized I would have to move Vincent to do that and I didn't want to do that. Vincent's phone was still next to us on the bed. I picked it up and looked at the time. 5:33.

I could fall back asleep and hope my alarm would wake me in time to get the car back. Instead, I gently scooted my way out from underneath Vincent. He shifted, but didn't wake. I moved the pillow I had been using under his head. I crouched next to him and looked at his sleeping face. In this moment, the stress and pain were free from his face. He looked innocent and sweet with a slight smile on his lips.

I leaned over him and kissed him gently on the forehead. "I don't want to leave, my love." My body tingled as soon as I said the words. We hadn't even been dating a week. It was much too early to call him 'my love' as much as the words sounded right. It might scare him away. For a moment, I was worried he might have heard my words, but his sleeping expression never changed and his breathing remained slow and deep. I delicately swept a finger over his eyebrow. He had seemed to like it when I had done that last night.

I stood up and scanned the room quickly. I had to leave, but I didn't want him to think I had abandoned him. I saw his backpack by the table. I quietly opened it and took out a notebook and a pen. I opened the notebook at the back because I didn't want to feel like a snoop by going through his things. I mean, I normally was a snoop, but I wanted to be respectful of Vincent. Besides, he had been open with me. I didn't think he would purposely hide anything from me.

I don't want to leave without saying goodbye, but I borrowed my dad's car and he needs it to go to work. I'll meet you at the same time and place for lunch unless you can't do lunch today. Text me when you wake up so I know you saw this.

I didn't know how to end it. I couldn't just say 'love Chet'. It was way too soon in our relationship. Everything either sounded too formal, too informal or too intimate so I didn't end it. I just left it as it was.

I opened his apartment door, but looked back at him one last time before I left quietly closing the door behind me. The streets were empty, the sky was dark. It didn't take me long to get back home.

The house was quiet when I stepped inside, but I knew Kannika was a light sleeper and would hear me come home. I put my dad's keys back in their usual spot and then stepped quietly to Kannika's room. Her bedroom door was open so I stood in the doorframe. She was on her bed, under her blanket, but her eyes were open and she blinked at me tiredly.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered to her.

"Where were you?" she whispered back.

I stepped inside and went to her bedside. It would be better to talk in her room. There was less chance we would wake up our parents. "A friend's," I said.

"You sounded worried after you got that phone call and then you just rushed out without saying anything. You even took dad's car. And then you stayed out all night."

I hadn't even thought about how Kannika would have perceived the previous night's events, but I should have. When Kiet still lived with us, she would stay awake until she heard him come home. She had many sleepless nights. Our parents didn't know. I patted her head. "I'm sorry," I said. "I should have sent you a text letting you know I was okay. Were you awake all night?"

She nodded.

"I've stayed out before," I said. "I could have just been with Gareth or Mateo."

"But you sounded so worried when you left. If I knew it was just Gareth or Mateo I wouldn't have worried. Was it them?"

I thought about lying to her, but that would complicate things a great deal and I'd have to tell Gareth and Mateo to lie for me and then they would want to know who I really was with. And I hated lies.

"No," I said. "A new friend."

"A friend or are you dating someone?"

I hesitated, but it was all she needed. "Since when?"

"Not long," I replied.

"When can we meet them?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "But I promise, if it gets really serious I'll introduce you."

She nodded and her face relaxed into a tired smile.

"Do you want me to tell mom and dad you are sick so you can sleep for the day?" I used to do that when she had stayed up all night waiting for Kiet to get home.

"No," she said. "I've got a test today. Thanks though. Just tell them to let me sleep in an extra half hour." Her eyes were already closed and she rolled onto her side.

I tiptoed out of her room. I went through my morning routine. When I heard my parent's bedroom door open, I rushed to them as quietly as I could and whispered that they should let Kannika sleep for an extra half hour. They took extra care to be quiet.

My phone buzzed with a message.

Favoriteentrepreneur: I saw your note. TY for staying with me. CU for lunch.

Me: CUL

It was earlier than usual, but I left the house and caught the bus up to the university. I exercised, showered and ate breakfast with the football players.

When I arrived at my finance class, the normal people congratulated me on the game. Melissa came in shortly before class started.

"Hi," she said to me.

"Hi."

"I listened to your game," she said. "Congratulations on your win."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Your team ranks high enough that it is going to make the soccer tournament."

"That doesn't have much to do with me," I said. Okay, maybe it had a little bit to do with me. I was on the team after all. "We've gone to the soccer tournament for many years in a row now."

"Still, you scored a goal," she said.

I smiled because I did make a goal. I couldn't refute it.

"Do you want to get lunch today?" she asked.

"Sorry, I've got plans," I said.

Her face fell slightly and I felt a little bad because we were friends, but I wasn't about to miss an opportunity to be with Vincent.

The professor walked in and started class. When class was finished and everyone was starting to meander out of the classroom, I said to Melissa, "Some of the guys on the team were asking if I could introduce you to them, but I don't want to if you are uncomfortable with it."

She stopped and waited until the rest of the students had left before she said, "It's really hard having an unrequited crush."

"Sorry," I said.

"You don't need to be sorry," she said. "You can't help how you feel anymore than I can. Is your lunch today a date?"

I didn't answer. For a brief moment she seemed devastated before she covered her grief and her face held a forced, but pleasant expression. "Sure," she said. "Introduce me to your friends some time." And then she turned around and left.

That meant she was okay with it...right?

I started on my normal route to the cafeteria, but noticed Melissa was in front of me heading there. I didn't want her to see me with Vincent so I took the long way around another building. It led to a more direct path to the back of the cafeteria parking lot. It meant I had to walk over grass instead of a sidewalk, but that was fine with me. I liked the feel of the grass under my feet. It felt like I was on the field.

I saw Vincent before he saw me. He was standing by his car again looking at his phone. I rushed to him without running, which was difficult. I liked running and I liked Vincent.

"Hi," I said.

He smiled handsomely. It made my heart jump a little.

"Hi," he said. "Get in."

I rounded to the passenger side and got in as he got in the driver's side.

"Where are we going today?" he asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Wherever you want," I said.

He pulled out of the parking lot. His hand reached across the seats to grasp mine. Our fingers entwined.

"Thanks for leaving me that note this morning," he said. "I admit, I was a little lonely when I woke up and you weren't there. I didn't know you had borrowed your dad's car though."

"You didn't wake up when I got up?"

"No. I thought I would, but I guess I was really tired."

He didn't know I had kissed him on the forehead and called him 'my love' then. I was glad of that. It was strange. I had to keep reminding myself we hadn't been dating long. It felt like we had.

"My sister was awake when I got home," I said. "She had been worried about me and hadn't been able to sleep. I admitted to her that I was dating someone, but didn't tell her who."

"You said last night that she hears everything."

"She does," I said. "She's always had super hearing, but it got even better when Kiet started staying out all night. She would stay awake and listen for when he came home."

"Why?"

"She said it was mainly because she was worried he would get hurt or hurt someone. At least when he was home she knew what he was up to, that he was physically safe. There was another part of her that stayed awake when he was gone because she dreaded the thought the police might knock on our door in the middle of the night looking for him or to tell us he was dead."

"Did the police ever come looking for him?"

"Yes," I said. "It was never at a normal hour either. It was always like 2 or 3 in the morning. It happened twice. He was never there when they came though."

He pulled into the parking lot of the Japanese place that was really close to the University. Like all the restaurants this close, the food was great and affordable.

We went inside, sat and ordered. The drinks came out first.

"Alex invited me to your birthday party on Friday. Are you alright with me going?"

I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face. "Of course," I said.

"It was harder than I expected it to be not to tell him about us," Vincent said. "Do you still want to keep it secret from him?"

"If we tell him, we have to tell Mateo and I think Mateo is still angry with you. Also, he was weirded out when I admitted I had a crush."

"Why would that affect him?"

"Because I was his first crush."

Vincent choked on the cola he had just swallowed. I handed him a napkin as some of it came out of the corners of his mouth. I didn't know it was going to affect him like that. Someone must have had a crush on Vincent during his life too. I wasn't sure why it was a big deal.

"What?" he asked when he finished coughing.

"In middle school he confessed to me. That was when I knew he was gay. I didn't tell anyone because he told me not to. I didn't even tell Gareth. But Gareth knew he was dating Alex before I did and didn't tell me so I guess we're even. It's not a big deal. I'm sure people have confessed to you."

"Not my best friends," he said. "Not only did he confess to you, my boyfriend," he stopped and looked around just to make sure no one had heard him say boyfriend, but no one was paying attention to us, "he is also now dating my best friend."

"It's not that big of a deal," I said. "He confessed, I turned him down. We became even closer friends. Now he is dating Alex and loves him. He was only weirded out because he thought I was asexual and when he learned otherwise it was a blow to his ego. That's all. People have crushes on me all the time. I've never reciprocated. Melissa has a crush on me. It doesn't mean anything."

"It means something to them," he said.

The server brought our food. We waited until after he left to continue our conversation.

"Okay, it might mean something to them," I acceded, "but they'll get over it. Melissa is just a friend. Some of the guys on the soccer team want me to introduce her to them. The only one I've ever had an interest in is you. Do you know what's weird though?"

"What?"

"When I told Gareth I had a crush he acted like that was impossible until he found out I thought this was special and wanted to keep it safe. Then he said it all made sense, but how could it make sense because of that? And he answers his phone right in class and talks without a care. He's weird."

Vincent had a handsome smile. "That is weird," he agreed. "What do you want for you birthday?"

"Hmm," I thought about it while we ate. "You better not bring anything to the party. That might look weird. Actually, no you better bring something, but something simple and generic so no one gets suspicious."

"A gift card to that pizza place," he said.

"Yes. I would love that. Or even one from here, since we're already here."

He chuckled a little under his breath at that. "Okay," he said. "But that's just for the party. What do you really want?"

"I don't really want anything except to spend time with you. We could use the gift card and go out to eat dinner."

"I could make you dinner," he said, "and we could stay in my apartment to eat it."

"You know how to cook?"

"A little. Priscilla and Theresa taught me a few simple things I could cook for you."

"Deal. When's your birthday?"

"November 28."

"Mine's October 28," I exclaimed happily. Our birthdays would be easy to remember.

"I know," he said with a wide smile.

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked.

"I'll let you know when it gets closer."

That sounded reasonable. We finished and he dropped me off in the same place. After soccer practice I called him again and we talked about little things as I took the bus home. I couldn't get enough of him.