Rae closed the shed door behind him, and squinted as the full light of the morning sun hit his face. He sighed and paused for a brief moment to collect himself for the task at hand. More than anything he was finding it impossible to forgive himself, for nearly taking his own life the night prior, and began to wonder how he would be able to look Jamie in the face.

"No, do not cry right now," Rae thought. "Stop being a wuss for a few minutes so you can go get ready and feed your... friends? Did I just make new friends with fucking Aliens?" Rae smirked to himself. "Wow, at least my life is currently being fucked in an interesting way for once."

Rae carefully opened the back door, so as to not make too much noise. He noticed the clock was around 11:00 AM. At which point, he began working out his plan.

"Good, Mom should be at work already, and it's 'Lissa's turn to watch the kids today since this is my day off. That means I just need to avoid Jamie and get the money from my stash upstairs. Dammit, I hope he's sleeping in, or went to one of his friend's houses. I really don't want to see him right now, after..."

Rae crept passed the living room, where he could see Elissa half-paying-attention to her 3 young foster sisters and 2 baby brothers, while texting someone. They were making enough racket that no one noticed Rae slipping past up the stairs.

As he got to the top of the stairs, he could already hear music coming from his room. Jamie idolized Rae in multiple ways; one of which was the habit of going through Rae's stuff, including his music playlists, and enjoying them for himself. Rae placed his trembling hand on the door and exhaled.

"You bastard, you deserve to feel like this; you're shameful." Rae thought, as he opened his room.

"Rae?" Jamie asked, looking up from Rae's computer. "Bro, where were you? I know you went somewhere last night!" He seemed annoyed and concerned.

"I just woke up early for once, Squirt." Rae said with a fake smile. "Just came back to get some cash to go eat. What's with the interrogation?"

Rae didn't look at Jamie at all. He couldn't. He felt so ashamed of his actions. Hearing Jamie's voice again, while knowing what he had tried to do, flooded him with feelings of deep regret. Instead, he tried to just rush over to his night stand, and began rummaging to find the bag where he kept his cash.

"You dickhead! You're such a fucking liar, Rae!" Jamie swore at him.

Rae had developed a rather strong habit of swearing, frequently, even more than most other boys his age, primarily as a result of venting his frustrations from being picked on relentlessly. It was strong enough that Abigail often scolded him for being a "Potty-Mouth".

"Dude, chill!" Rae could hear his bestie's voice, ringing through his head, chiding him to be a bit more sociable. "How are you ever going to get more friends like that or a girlfriend, for that matter? You talk like a sailor who got shot in the leg!"

And because of Jamie's adoration of his older brother, he had also picked up a portion of Rae's habit. Though Rae disapproved of this; he hated the thought of ever being a bad influence on the kid. And so, it was very uncommon for Jamie to ever curse in front of or at Rae, for fear of being scolded by his hero.

"I can't believe you. You lied last night too, I know it. Something's wrong..." Jamie said.

"Not right now Jamie, I'm not in the mood for this." Rae sheepishly replied.

Normally, Rae would have told Jamie to mind his own business, stop cursing, and be a bit more respectful, but this time he felt he had no right to say anything. He did not feel morally worthy; he just wanted to find his cash and escape.

"Here it is." Rae thought, as he opened his stash bag where he kept his valuables. Then Rae's eyes narrowed on the Tranqs that were right next to his savings. "Just one... I-I'll just take one with me in case my nerves—" His train of thought was derailed as he felt a small hand on his arm.

"Rae, you said you stopped with those..." Jamie said sadly, as he looked at what his brother was doing.

"I believed you."

He let go of Rae's wrist, and walked out the door with a blank look on his freckled face and hints of welling tears. Feelings of trust in the bond between brothers had been torn asunder, and the nearly too-loyal younger boy felt afraid, for he had already seen what became of a Rae using Tranqs, once before. As with the swearing, it was also a rare sight for Jamie to signal much sadness, because his soul was not crafted in the shape of woe and his heart was not created to show such sorrow.

So as to not be undone by his pitiful life, Rae had been self-medicating his depression and anxiety with 'Tranqs', a notorious street drug, for several years now. It was a drug that dulled emotions and inhibitions many times stronger than alcohol, inducing a delirium of surrogate delights in the mind of its subjects. But the drug had significant risks and potential side-effects involved, including a very easily acquired chemical dependency upon frequent use. Rae had already been in the hospital once, 2 years ago, after he started going into withdrawals, and after he recovered he had promised his family that he would stop using them.

Life has a funny way of making good people break promises and hurt those they love.

"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!" Rae screamed at himself within his own mind, through beady eyes and shaky disposition.

He could still feel Jamie's small hand, like it had burned disappointment straight into his skin.

He grabbed the bag of Tranqs he had, and smashed them against the wall along with a large hole and his now bloody fist. Time froze; he could feel his depression taking over. It was like he forgot how to move for a minute. And he knew, he had never hated himself as much as he did right then. If it were not for the fact that he had two hungry Aliens in his shed, he might have just stayed there in that frozen moment and cried, as he usually would have in such a case.

"Be a fucking man, Rae." He began excoriating himself, to show a bit of responsibility and courage, if not for himself then for the sake of his brother. "Just once, be strong, and go make this right. For fuck's sake! You're the older one; you should be watching over him, not the other way around!"

Rae snatched up the money he needed, and walked down stairs in a determined daze. The kids were still in their own world, and Elissa was loudly chatting through her phone with one of her school friends; again, no one paid him any mind.

Rae walked into the kitchen towards the back door. Jamie was eating a bowl of High-Sugar!™ Cereal, and small raindrops ran down his freckled cheeks showering the milk below. Rae stopped and put a hand on his little brother's frazzled red mop of hair.

"I got rid of them... all of them. I'm really sorry, Squirt." Rae bent down and gave Jamie a comforting hug to fulfill his duty, as an older brother who's neglected his responsibility should.

"I know you are." Jamie said, as he cried into Rae's hoodie. "I'm just sad... why didn't you say something? We love you! I love you, and I don't want you to go back to the hospital..."

"I know, and I fucked up. But I promise, I will try again. This is not for you to worry about, little man... You're too young for that. So don't cry, it's going to be ok. I appreciate that you love me, and I'll do better." Rae rubbed the kid's noggin to reassure him. "I'm sorry Squirt, really, and we'll talk more about this later, Ok?" Rae winced slightly from shame and guilt, as he realized he was about to ask something selfish that he probably didn't deserve. "Can you do me a favor? I know... I don't deserve it, but please don't tell mom." Then he released the soothed boy, and looked his little brother in the eye for the first time since the night before, pleading for a just tiny bit of forgiveness.

"Ok." Jamie said, as he dried his thick pearl-drop tears. Thankfully, it was impossible for someone with Jamie's character to stay so sad for too long, even in the face of unexpected adversity. And Rae's reassurance had helped set his mind at ease.

The cat-eared boy knew that the last thing he needed to add to his current stressful set of events, was to inform his mother that he'd been doing drugs again. And he felt there was nothing his family could do for him anyways, other than be hurt by his pain too. He believed in his heart that this was something only he could decide to change; no one could do it for him. Rae hoped that with things changing so rapidly, and having just been given a new realization about his life; that perhaps now after all this time, he might find that courage, and in turn discover his Purpose. For he so desperately, more than anything else, wanted to find the reason he was given the spark of life.

Rae walked out the door; and somehow, he felt more composed than before he had entered it, as if he had given himself another chance with his promise to Jamie to try living again. Henceforth refocusing on the task at hand, he at least now had an immediate goal to fulfill along with these two new strange and hungry Alien friends.

"Please let this be a turning point for me." Rae bargained with Fate, as he grasped the handle of the shed. "I really need something, so if this is that something; I'll take it."