The Color Guard stood below the large TV screen.

“Why do we think there’s an eyeball inside there?” asked Cherri. “That’s not how television works. The screen displays an image of something being filmed elsewhere.”

“Agreed,” said Tara, “if we were in the real world.”

“How do you know about the real world?” asked Ash.

Tara frowned. “I don’t know how I know. It’s in my memory. Are you saying I have incorrect knowledge? How does Cherri know how television works? And why should any of us believe that television works the same way in Darkentide as it does on Earth? If you don’t think Gondra’s other eyeball is here, then why did you wait until now to say so? As I recall, when I suggested the eyeball was here, you went, duh. Are you changing your mind now? How typical.”

“Typical of what?” asked Ash.

“Typical of what?” mimicked Tara.

“Do I need to separate you two?” asked Petals.

“He started it,” said Tara.

“I asked a simple question,” said Ash, “and you got all defensive. You didn’t want to answer, and so you deflected.”

“No,” said Tara, “you asked a stupid question. There’s a difference between stupid and simple. Oh, how do I know there’s a difference? How do I know anything?”

“Well,” said Ash, “I didn’t program NPCs to know shit like that about televisions. Did you, Petals?”

The Pink Wizard grimaced. “I… didn’t.”

“From what I heard back in Gondra’s room,” said Tara, “there’s no mystery here. Gondra’s frenemy changed the programming. Gondra himself has changed some of it, too. Mystery solved.”

Greta cleared her throat. “I think Ash is afraid that he and Petals are surrounded by Seth’s operatives. I’m openly one myself. All the rest of you could be, and just aren’t saying. Hell, maybe you don’t even know you are. If you think about it, even the one calling himself Gondra might be lying to you. He could even be an operative for Seth. How would you know? Think about it, Ash. I was sent into this virtual world with you and Petals to keep you from interfering with Seth’s plans. Am I stopping you from helping this one called Gondra? No. Why not? Have you asked yourself that question? Why am I going along with everything you’ve done so far?”

“It’s because you want to become human,” said Petals. “Right?”

The Green Warrior shrugged. “Maybe Seth and I just want you to believe that.”

“Don’t listen to her, Petals,” said Tara. “She’s trying to trick you.”

“How could you possibly know that?” asked Ash.

“How could you possibly know that?” mimicked Tara.

“Stop mimicking me,” said Ash.

“Stop mimicking me,” said Tara.

“Just stop it, both of you,” said Petals. “Tara, Ash is too old for you, so stop flirting. Ash, stop provoking Tara and start acting your age.”

“I wasn’t…,” said Tara and Ash in unison.

“We’re here,” said the Pink Wizard, “so we might as well check out the TV and see if there’s an eyeball inside. Even if there isn’t, maybe there will be some clue as to where the signal comes from that feeds the image of the eyeball to the screen.”

“You mean like a cable?” Tara pointed to the top of the TV screen. “I don’t see one coming out of the ceiling, or where one could be hiding if it were.”

“Let’s just see what we find.” Petals backed off to have a good view of the screen and aimed her staff. “Television screen so wide, let me See what it is you hide.”

The familiar number, 289, displayed, with a reptilian eyeball in the upper loop of the nine.

“Nothing we didn’t see before,” said Greta. “Now what?”

“I’m not finished.” Petals continued aiming her staff at the screen. “Television screen so high, give me Access to your eye.”

Nothing happened.

“What level is your Access spell?” Ash asked.

“It’s only level one,” said Petals. “My See spell is level two. I’m guessing I need to increase my Access spell level to two for it to work on the TV screen.”

“I could try my Oust spell on it,” said Ash. “It’s level three. It ought to work if the eyeball can actually be separated from the screen. I just need to get up there. Not sure I can jump that high.”

“Getting you up there isn’t a problem.” The Pink Wizard pointed her staff at him, where he lay curled around Cherri’s neck. “Just say when you’re ready.”

He unfurled and climbed atop Cherri’s black bob, where he poised like a serpent about to strike. “Ready.”

“You, the Great and Powerful Ash,” said Petals, “Move to the eye on the screen but don’t crash.”

The Gray Healer sprang, and the magic of the Pink Wizard boosted him. He struck the screen’s surface, right on the image of the eye. “Oust.”

The eyeball sprang from the TV screen, transforming from two-dimensional to three.

Ash clung to the sphere, riding it. “Now what?”

“Stop in the name of the Moon Goddess,” cried Cherri.

The eyeball jerked to a halt, causing Ash to lose his grip. The serpentine golem went flying down the main hall. Elena sprinted to intercept him.

He landed in the Camouflaged Shooter’s arms. “Thanks, Elena. You’re looking rather gorgeous today.”

“You know I’d never let anything hurt you.”

A brown bear suddenly towered over Elena, growling and swiping its claws at her.

Tara rushed forward, an open palm extended before her. “Stay back, monster.”

The bear whimpered and fell backwards onto its butt.

Tara grabbed Ash from Elena. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, either, little guy.” The brown bear vanished.

“Stop, eyeball,” Cherri cried again. “Yoo hoo, ladies. What are we doing about this thing? It’s trying to fly away. I can keep Stopping it, but how are we getting it to Gondra?”

“Right,” said Petals, tearing her attention away from Ash and his fawning fan girls. “Okay, when your spell ends, let me Move it down here. Then you Stop it again. Do we have something that can contain it?”

“That bear was your doing,” Elena said to Tara, grabbing hold of the Gray Healer’s tail. “You didn’t save him from anything. Give him back. Let him ride my neck for awhile. You can have him later.”

“Girls, girls,” said Ash. “No need to fight over me. I can spend a little time with each of you. No problem. Now, Tara, Elena saved me first, so I should spend time with her for more than a few seconds to show my appreciation. I trust you understand. Later, I’ll spend some time wrapped around your neck for saving me from that mean old bear. Okay?”

“Okay, cutie,” said Tara. She let Elena take him, and he curled around the Camouflaged Shooter’s throat.

“People.” Petals slammed the end of her staff on the floor. Everyone turned startled eyes on her. She huffed. “Good. We’re on a quest here, or did you all forget?”

“It’s flying away,” Cherri said.

“Ugh!” The Pink Wizard aimed her staff. “Eyeball, eyeball in the sky, Move down here and don’t be shy.”

Greta smirked. “It’s not in the sky.”

Petals glared at the Green Warrior. “Don’t you start with me.”

“Just being a part of your merry band,” said Greta. “Don’t want to be left out of the fun.”

The eyeball descended, coming to a halt in front of Petals, staring at her.

“You told it not to be shy,” said Greta.

“Cherri, get ready to Stop it if it tries to fly away.” Petals glanced around at her companions. Did anyone have the means to restrain this thing? “Who has the jump rope?”

Greta held up a hand, and the rope materialized in her grasp. “It isn’t a net.”

Tara ran over. “Put your rope away. I got this.” She unzipped the top of her camouflaged miniskirt, let it fall around her ankles, and stepped out of it, exposing her bare legs and pink panties. Picking up the garment, she zipped the zipper and then threw the skirt over the eyeball. The waistline of the skirt was small enough, the eyeball didn’t slip through. Tara tugged on the hem of her skirt and pulled the eyeball against her chest. She turned towards Elena, her eyes on Ash. “This could have been you snuggling against me.” She lifted a leg, bending it at the knee. “You like what you see, little guy?”

“Well…,” said Ash.

“You’re such an exhibitionist.” Kat tossed her red tresses. “Why don’t you use that Illusionist power of yours and put on some clothes?”

“You’re just jealous.” Tara thrust her rear end towards the red-headed Psi-Thief. “You don’t have a butt like mine. Go on, smack it. Feel what a real ass is like.”

“Put on some clothes,” said Petals. “We don’t need you distracting our pretty boy, do we, Ash?”

“Well, um…,” said the Gray Healer.

“Fine,” said Tara.

The eyeball tore itself free of her grasp, her skirt still over it’s upper half. It headed towards the ceiling.

“Stop right there,” cried Cherri.

The eyeball lurched to a stop eight feet above the floor, the skirt still draped over it.

“What’s the matter, Tara?” Kat stuck out her tongue. “Not got the strength to hold onto a man once you have him?”

“Please.” Petals banged the end of her staff on the floor again. “Tara, what’s your Body Offense stat?”

The Illusionist pouted. “Zero.”

“Great.” Petals pointed at the girl’s bare legs. “Put some clothes on. Who has the highest Body Offense stat here?”

“That would be me,” said Greta. “I have three. But I need to be able to fight in case we’re attacked on the way back to Gondra. I can’t be carrying that thing.”

“I have Body Offense of two,” said Elena. “But I need to be able to shoot in case we’re attacked.”

Petals huffed. “Does anyone else have a Body Offense of two or higher?”

Kat shook her head. “I only have a rank of one.”

Cherri and Ash muttered that they had zero. Petals herself had zero. “Okay, Kat, you try carrying it.”

The Psi-Thief raised an eyebrow and glanced at Tara. “With her skirt over it?”

“Do it for me,” said Ash.

“Fine,” said Kat, “but I can’t jump up there and grab it.”

“No,” said Petals, “but I can get you up there. Don’t resist me.” She pointed at Kat with her staff and intoned the first rhyme that came to her. “Kat, you have a very fine rump. Move up there with a big jump.”

“Thank you.” Kat stuck out her tongue at Tara and then sprang towards the eyeball. She easily covered the distance, and grabbed hold of the bottom of the skirt. She hung there until the end of Cherri’s Stop invocation, at which point Petals focused to bring the girl down easy.

As soon as Kat’s feet touched the floor, the eyeball ripped the skirt free of her grasp and flew upward again.

“Stop, Stop, Stop, Stop, Stop,” cried Cherri. “Dear Goddess, how many times do I have to do this?”

The eyeball had only reached a height of seven feet this time, but still too high for any of them except Ash to jump.

With a bright red illusionary miniskirt covering her underwear, Tara extended her arms towards Ash. “Gotta come with me now, cutie. Elena needs to carry our lovely eyeball.”

The Camouflaged Shooter took two quick steps back, leveling her rifle at Tara. “It isn’t going to be me carrying that thing. Got it?”

“Elena.” Petals resisted the urge to hit the floor with her staff. “Don’t point your rifle at Tara or anyone else in our group. Got it?”

The Shooter didn’t respond, her focus on Tara.

The Illusionist threw up her hands. “Fine.” She stepped away. “Who’s it gonna be, then?”

Elena lowered her rifle. She stroked Ash’s tail and nudged him with her chin. “I won’t let her do anything bad with you, buddy.”

“That’s it,” said Petals. “I don’t know what it is with the three of you, if this is a competitive thing that started before you became members of the Color Guard, but it ends now. Ash, you’re going back to Cherri. Elena, you’re carrying the eyeball. Got it?”

The Shooter didn’t stop Ash from leaving her as directed, but she set her jaw. “I said I wasn’t carrying that thing, and I meant it. Unless it can wrap around my neck like Ash. I need my hands free to shoot.”

“It’s only to Gondra’s room.” Petals pointed down the hallway. “It’s not that far.” She glanced around. “I don’t see any enemies. If we get moving, we’ll be done in a minute.”

“Stop,” yelled Cherri as the eyeball fluttered in the skirt. The fluttering stopped.

“Can’t you just Move it to Gondra with your magic?” asked Tara.

“It will take forever to do that,” said Petals.

“We’d be halfway there by now, though,” Tara said, “if you’d started doing it as soon as Ash Ousted it.”

“The thing about Wizard spells,” Petals said, “is their power weakens from repetition. That’s why I’m always coming up with different rhymes, to keep things fresh in my head. It’s not that way with illusions, but they don’t have the same potential as spells. Especially at low levels, they can’t do real harm. All they do is mislead. That’s why you don’t need to spout rhymes for your skills. Besides which, you can only have one illusion going at a time, unless you divide up your skill levels into multiple illusions. Your skill already has limitations built into it. The Wizard class needed added limitations.”

“Fine.” Tara’s red miniskirt vanished, revealing her pink panties once more. “My Illusion skill is rank three. Let me see if I can fool the eyeball with it. Get ready to Stop it, Cherri, if it starts flying away again.”

“Do what you’re doing,” said Cherri, “while my current Stop is still in effect.”

Floating in midair, a cage appeared around the eyeball, just large enough to enclose it, slightly larger than a foot by a foot by a foot, with four half-inch-thick bars on each side of the cube. Everyone waited in silence.

“My invocation has expired,” said Cherri. “It’s not trying to fly away.”

“Come along, little eyeball,” said Tara. “Come to momma.”

Under her mental control, the cage edged towards Tara. The eyeball moved, as though to avoid touching the bars. Positioning the cage directly in front of her, Tara strolled down the main hallway, the cage preceding her, and the eyeball moving with the cage. Her skirt hid its top half, except for the very top, which shown through at the skirt's waistline.

“Elena, take point. Kat, you’re right behind her. Cherri, stay abreast of Tara, and Stop the eye if it escapes.” Petals rubbed her forehead, muttering, “Why was that so hard?”

“You’re doing a fantastic job as group leader,” said Greta, bringing up the rear. “I certainly couldn’t do it.”