《A Portal Fantasy Comedy Poem》Genghis Khan: Keeper of the Unbroken Voice
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The two girls spend a most uncomfortable day
They've been bound and gagged by a group of vicious Huns
"Soon with Attila you will play," the Huns then say
"After his nosebleed stops you will make many sons"
"No way," shouts Mary, "I would rather be a nun."
"Just keep quiet and do as we tell you or else,"
The Huns gag her again, and then away they run
For Mary has magically destroyed their belts
With Mary's magic their binds and gags melt away
The Huns run back holding their pants up to their waists
They then activate an anti-magic array
And rebind the girls with ropes and a special paste
But their gags are now gone, they forgot to replace
Mary tries to channel fire magic but fails
"I cannot make babies, I am a woman chaste,"
Says Anna, "these bad men will take any female"
"And I'm still too young," says Mary, looking so pale
Anna, "I don't think these warriors care much
for our laws. Don't lose hope, we shall still prevail"
Mary fiercely, "if he tries, he'll soon need a crutch"
They then hear sounds of battle, clash of swords and such
The whinny of horses and the noise of arrows
Anna, "we are saved before they can even touch
a strand of our hair. We're now free like sparrows."
"No you aren't," a Mongol brings in wheel barrow
"Get in. Your are now prisoners of the great Khan
Genghis, the greatest king, greater than a Pharaoh
Now I'll take you on a tour of the Mongol barn"
He wheels the girls to a distant camp, says "Oh darn!
I forgot to bring along my friend's horse with me
Now I am going to have to spin him a yarn
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And treat him to several glasses of my milk tea
He shows them around the camp, asks "How's the sightsee?
Oh man! I'd make such a good travel guide, wouldn't I?
Now I'm going to lock you up and keep the key
You will be the Khan's lovely concubines or die
"I can't be a concubine," Mary starts to cry
"I'm Catholic, only fourteen, and I can't housekeep"
"That's okay. The Khan is only six," he replies
"And he won't ask you to do house work things like sweep.
In this land you cannot age, and the Khan's no creep
He came here while dreaming he was just six years old
And so that is the age he will now always keep
You have made quite a catch, I think you have struck gold
You'll have luxuries as long as you don't act cold
Delicious food and wine and noble guests to dine
As long as all our Mongol ways you uphold
Every night tell Khan stories and you'll be fine"
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They are taken to the Khan's great tent made of silk
The Captain shouts, "Lord, two maidens for your pleasure"
"Bring them in," the great Khan is within drinking milk
"Oh my, look at these two pretty little treasures"
"I won't be a concubine" Mary shouts, "Ever!"
"Silence," he squeaks, "don't talk until given my leave
You," he looks at Anna, "seem to be more clever,
Every night you shall interesting stories weave
Wonderful stories that you yourself do conceive
If I do not like your story i shall kill you
"And you," he says to Mary, "Have earned my reprieve
You shall learn proper etiquette, now go you two."
"That's good," the captain says, "you have passed his review”
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Anna, "I don't want to tell stories to a child
with megalomania, with two tight slaps due
His mother should feel bad for raising him so wild"
Later that same night, Anna is still very riled
She is summoned to the tiny little Khan's tent
"Tell me a story and we shall be reconciled"
Says the Khan to her. He's feeling very content
"What's your name?" asks the past lord of the Orient
"Scheherazade," she replies not quite truthfully
"Now let us begin our great story event"
Khan, "Tell me of someone who’s as mighty as me."
"Sinbad was his name, and he sailed the seven seas"
Great Genghis Khan fell asleep in no time at all
Anna retires to the concubines tent peacefully
She thinks that she had done a good job overall
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