The three of them sat in a triangle, facing each other while deep in thought. Azura had just finished telling Dr. Jensen and Lucas about everything the Phoenix related things again and all the times the voice had spoken to her. She had been reluctant as both knew about it and repeating it again was not something she enjoyed. She did make sure to keep the details of the fight vague as Lucas did not know about her being a snow leopard shifter.

"Now you wanted me to bring you here," she turned to Lucas, "You obviously have an idea, so spill it." She softly started tapping her foot on the floor while her fingers drummed on her knee. There was this uneasy feeling growing in her stomach. For some reason, she knew she would not like what he would say.

"I’m curious about your observations as well. We have mostly been focusing on getting her outbursts and anger under control, but this is something that goes hand in hand. Maybe if we get some more insight into this matter, we can tackle your problems from another angle." Dr. Jensen shifted his gaze from Lucas to Azura, addressing them both.

"Alright, let's start." Lucas took a deep breath. "What we know is that Azura killed a Phoenix together with her friend Nora with whom she shared a rare and powerful blood bond. In that fight, Nora died and so did the Phoenix-"

"No, a Phoenix never dies. I told Azura that as well." Dr. Jensen interrupted him.

"I know, that's what she told me and that’s also what had me thinking. Ever since that day, the voice started appearing in your nightmares. Your nightmares used to be of one single event but now both events started to haunt you at night, blurring the lines between them and almost making them one."

He stopped talking and both Azura and Nicolai remained quiet. Azura had bit her lip softly and tried to keep her nerves under control.

"Ever since you got here, the voice has become more prominent has it not? Talking to you even outside of your dreams? I, at first, just thought it was a figment of your own imagination, your way of dealing with the trauma, but there’s something that’s been bothering me. Whenever you get upset or are in a nightmare, you seem to radiate extreme heat. You even gave me some slight burn marks when you or the voice addressed me from that nightmare a while back."

Lucas turned to Doctor Jensen and from the corner of his eye, he could see Azura shifting uncomfortably on her chair. She had grown even paler than she already usually was.

"I believe you when you say a Phoenix never dies. And that's why I came up with the following theory based on what Azura told me last night. That day they fought the Phoenix, they did kill it...but it might have killed both of them as well."

"No! I'm here, alive and well! That's not possible!" Panic filled her eyes as Lucas said the same thing the Phoenix had told her.

She started to tremble and had to force herself to stay seated. She didn’t want to hear it, but she knew she had to. Her eyes frantically darted between Lucas and Dr. Jensen as her heart started beating at a faster pace. Surprisingly, the voice had not yet spoken up and she did not yet feel the heat rising within herself.

"You are... That's what had me puzzled but I have this theory. You died Azura, there is simply no way you could have survived that fight. But what if you were reborn? Right there at that spot. A Phoenix always is reborn. What if the Phoenix and you were both reborn, that it brought you back to life. What if the Phoenix has become part of-"

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Azura had jumped up and stood before him pointing her finger in his chest.

"Azura please calm down. He is merely speculating." Nicolai had gotten up from his chair and got behind her. He placed his hand on her shoulder trying to connect with her emotions so he could take some of it away.

At least he understands.

She felt her eye twitch as the voice spoke up. She stood frozen for a short moment fuming with undefined rage that had appeared out of nowhere. Azura had felt Nicolai tap in but had rejected him straight away. Eventually, she dropped her arm and bit her lip again, harder this time to stop the trembling and to focus on the slight discomfort it brought. Lucas had not moved, expecting this very reaction from her. He just looked her straight in the eye as if to challenge her.

Whatever you do, don't run. It was an old saying his dad used to say.

"Can I continue?" He was calm and hoped that it would rub off on her. "I think the Phoenix is part of you. It explains your 'abilities' and I think that it’s only a fraction of what you are capable of."

If only you would accept it.

Her eye flinched again and she started twitching with her entire head to one side. It was just a small movement but big enough that Lucas had seen it. Dr. Jensen had backed off again, watching the whole scene evolve before him. The way Lucas was handling it seemed like he knew what he was doing.

"It's talking to you right now isn't it?" A small grin started to play on the tall man’s lips. He was on the right track. Pushing her to the edge so she would break down the walls to let her emotions go. Azura clenched her teeth and her fists together. Her brain started hurting. With her teeth still clenched together, she finally replied to Lucas.

"I will never accept this abomination inside me. It has killed so many and it lives inside me? I can't and will never accept it. It needs to leave and let me be, why can't it just do that! If it did become a part of me, it can leave so I can live in peace!"

If I go, you'll die.

"Then I'll die! I prefer death over this life with the killer of my best friend inside of me!"

No, you don't. You already made that choice a while ago. You did not jump.

"I did not know what I know now!"

Really? I think you did.

"Just get the hell out of my head!"

I will, for now, but I'll be back. We do have a destiny to fulfill, you and me.

Lucas and Nicolai had both stepped back a bit as Azura started to yell and talk to herself. She was clearly getting pissed off, drawing blood from the palms of her hands again as she yelled about dying. Her movements were jerky and it looked as if she wanted to escape from herself as she backed up into a wall.

Lucas looked down at her hand, seeing the small trickle of blood. His eyes widened as he noticed a small spark igniting from her fist. Lucas turned his gaze to Nicolai and he knew straight away he had seen it as well.

Azura collapsed to the floor, clutching her head in her hands. She had stopped yelling and just rocked back and forth breathing heavily. Nicolai looked over to Lucas and managed to find his voice after what he’d just witnessed.

"It seems you were right. This has just become so much more complicated."

"Can you help her? At least for now?" Lucas was worried. He had wanted her to lose control, but to see her break down like this was not something he had hoped for.

"If she doesn't reject me, I can." Dr. Jensen walked over to her and placed both his hands on her shoulders.

"Wait, she can reject you?" Lucas stared at him in shock. He had never heard of people able to reject a vaim's control.

"She has a powerful mind and will. I was just as surprised as you the first time." He closed his eyes and started digging into her mind.

Azura stopped rocking as soon as she felt his reassuring hands on her shoulders. After a short struggle, she gave up, giving into the calm and serene feeling that wanted to overpower her. Her breathing calmed down and her body relaxed.

As soon as Dr. Jensen let go, Lucas knelt down and gently helped her up. She was lethargic again, staring right through him. He guided her to her chair and sat her down. As he moved to let her go, she suddenly grabbed his wrist with an iron grip and pulled him in just as she had done before.

Heat washed over him like the waves of an ocean. Lucas was caught off guard by her sudden strong force and was just in time to catch himself before he crashed into her. He noticed the small smirk right before she talked to him in a voice that was not her own.

"Make her understand. She needs me."

Azura released him, the sudden heat gone as soon as she let go. Lucas stumbled back, his heart racing. He looked over to Nicolai who had seen the whole thing and was observing Azura with a curious look. He could swear the old man was almost smiling but as he blinked, that smile seemed to have not ever existed.

"That's the second time it’s talked to me." Lucas shuddered. In both those short moments it had spoken to him, he could feel the power behind it. It was frightening, to say the least. "What do you know about Phoenixes, Dr. Jensen?"

*

"You're going to be the death of me one day!"

Azura refused to look at Lucas and looked out over the valley where they had been before. In some places, the snow had started to melt, revealing the ground underneath. If you looked really close, some trees and plants had already started forming new buds, further proving Spring was just around the corner

"You'll be fine. I think I have you figured out enough to know how far I can push you." He offered her a sandwich.

They were sitting on a fallen tree. He had to, almost literally, drag her out here but was glad she hadn’t gone into the state she’d been in the last time she had a breakdown. Nicolai had given her some medication that could apparently pull someone out of a lethargic state within an hour and it had worked. She had recovered quite swiftly.

At first, she’d refused to speak to either of them, but realized it was of no use to stay angry. Lucas and Dr. Jensen were not to blame for this situation, they had merely tried to help and find some answers. That didn’t mean she wasn’t ticked off at Lucas, the way he had proven his theory was not one she could stand behind because it meant triggering her in a way that was beyond anything she could control. She wanted to stay in control, in fact, it had been the key point she had been working on with Nicolai. To control herself, her temper, and anger, and then Lucas did the one thing that made her lose control to a Phoenix. The Phoenix… The same creature that caused so much grief and death.

"I'll be fine? How can you be so sure? Apparently, I already died once, and you might just be the cause for my dying a second time if you keep this up. Or I might kill you sooner because you make it really difficult for me not to at times!" She played with her sandwich, keeping her gaze on the bread or on the horizon.

"Nah, you won't kill me. The Phoenix likes me too much to allow it and I would never kill you. Not intentionally." Lucas smiled as he observed her, he could see the confusion on her face even though she tried to hide it.

"Not intentionally? What’s that supposed to mean?" She stopped toying with the sandwich and had to fight herself to not look his way. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction just yet.

"I'm just joking! Look, I know what I did was probably not that pleasant for you. I don't like triggering and seeing you in that state, but if we do nothing and only try to pamper you, we're not addressing the problems and you will keep being haunted by your nightmares and thoughts."

She didn’t answer him straight away. Part of her wanted to explode and yell in his face that maybe this was not the right way as well. They were her issues, she had to solve them. She was responsible for her own well-being and it was her burden to bear. The thought crossed her mind that neither Lucas nor Nicolai even should be involved. She dismissed those strain of thoughts almost as soon as they had appeared though. She had tried to fight it on her own and that had not worked out well.

Instead of answering, she just stared off into the distance thinking about what he’d said. For a few minutes, the birds chirping was the only noise around. Azura had closed her eyes and enjoyed the wind as it gently caressed her face. It wasn’t as cold anymore as it had been a while ago. Thinking about it, she hadn’t really felt cold for a while now. Finally, she turned and faced Lucas.

"These past years I've been thinking about ending it. I believed I wasn’t able to handle this, thought I was better off dead, but never had the guts to do so. That night when Rose broke up with you... I almost did kill myself. I wanted to do it, longed for it even, but I made a choice that day and it wasn't death. I will fight and eventually accept. But that last part? I can't accept it just yet. I can't accept that thing inside me, I can't accept its fury or anger. I know I have a bad temper myself already, but this thing makes me dangerous. It feeds on my anger, triples it, and wants to take over. It's destructive and it scares me because I can feel the strength of it and I know what it wants. I hope you’re right about it not wanting to kill you, Lucas, because my biggest fear is that I lose control; that it takes over and I won't be able to do anything about it. You're wrong about not being scared of me as even I am scared of myself. If I was able to kill so ruthlessly without it, imagine what I can and will do with this thing inside me."

"Do you trust me, Azu?" The question hit her like a ton of bricks.

The last person to ask her that question was dead. Azura stared at Lucas. After everything she’d said, this was the only thing he asked her? This damned question, which had been the last question Nora had asked her? Azura bit her lip and closed her eyes for a second. She felt him grab her hand and gently stroke it.

After careful consideration, she answered the only way that she could. "Yes... Yes, I do."