Chapter 25 - Sanctification

The death of a planar ruler is a chaotic event that irreversably changes a world in erratic and unpredictable ways. If a small realm that is supported by one creature has that pillar taken away, it is entirely possible that the matter frequency may immediately snap to the nearest one it can find and end up as a “parasite realm” that leeches off of another one, such as the Great Faerie Circle and it’s offshoot realms. However, despite the name, there are mutual benefits between a pocket world and its host if managed correctly.

Planes and You: How to Manage Your Kingdom’s Landscape Book One, by Melsef the Kingmaker

Being a nationally decorated hero was one of those things that sounds nice on paper, but in reality is honestly a really boring process that is more trouble than it’s worth. For Silk, it was honestly a bit much for her tastes. After threatening to bite anyone who so much as thought of putting her in a dress for the ceremony, she still had to wear some dumb fancy clothing. For someone who was born in an area where getting more than two meals a day without mold was considered a luxury, this was nothing less than pure torture.

As the spotlight shined on her face, she noticed some familiar faces in the crowd. Bundo was absent, as was Henry. Both of them had avoided the fight (much to Henry’s dismay) and were currently taking care of various injured people and making sure they didn’t die. Levi was currently sampling the buffet gingerly while avoiding any vegetable-based foods with the greatest care, and Victor was up in the rafters of the town hall they were speaking in for some reason. Levi had gotten her own collection of medals of valor for commandeering a siege engine and annihilating over a quarter of the invading force somehow, and was showing them off to anyone who wanted to behold their shinyness up close. Carefully reading the script doctored by what the nobles had assured her were the most competent speech-writers in the entirety of the archipelago, she felt as though everyone was just waiting for her to screw up.

Stepping up to the stage, Silk spoke to the waiting journalists and citizens who were looking for comfort and got ready to speak. Silk cleared her throat and opened her mouth to begin her oration…

***

“Hey, it’s not that bad”, Victor consoled Silk as they were chased by a group of rabid reporters. “Honestly, I’m kind of proud of you. I would never have thought that this much chaos would have been caused by you freestyling and going off script. Consider me impressed.”

As charming as Victor’s attempts to console her were, his tie was slapping her in the face and honestly distracted her a little too much while they were running from not only a group of rabid reporters looking for more of a scoop, but also a large amount of disgruntled nobles who had just been thrust into a PR nightmare.

“Your approval fills me with the deepest shame and disgust imaginable.”, Silk retorted. She had ripped off her own tie and kept the jacket on only because it looked expensive and was kind of comfy. She gave thanks to her lucky stars or whatever it was that made her choose good running clothes, as she was completely sure that Victor would have left the mob to go after her if he would be slowed down by this hypothetical dress-wearing Silk.

“Such vitriol! Such sass! Such wit! Where was that suaveness when you were at the podium? Not that I am disappointed by how things turned out. I must ask, though: could you not have chosen a better date to talk about the massive amount of investment fraud that the ruling class here was committing? I think we may have another set of wanted posters, just when we left the last inter-island set of governing bodies that hounded after our heads.”, said Victor as he carried a rucksack of fancy silverware on his back.

“I got flustered, alright? Everyone was looking at me and I didn’t know what to say.” snapped Silk. When even Victor had remarked on your lack of social tact, you had to know when to put your foot down and end the conversation.

The conversation ended when the pair saw the ship, with everyone but the two onboard. Silk threw Victor onboard with a mighty heave as he screeched like an undignified kleptomaniac goblin and crumpled onto the deck, sack of clinking cutlery and all. Running up the rope that connected the ship to the docks, she sliced at it with her trusty sword and proceeded to make obscene gestures at the crowd running towards the dock.

“You people suck! I make one mistake and you go at me in a mob? What is wrong with you? This island is terrible and I hope you get some disease from the pocket dimension that just got added to your territory!”, said Silk in a tirade as the ship drifted off.

Victor had taken his cutlery and went below deck with it as he began starting up the engine, the monstrosity sputtering blue flames and clanking in ways that caused Henry to yelp and walk about nervously.

“Alright, I count everyone here. Quick head count to double check: Me, Levi, Fluffy, Victor, Henry, Bundo, and the treasure we got from here. Is that right?” said Silk as she chorale everyone into position. Levi took the wheel and began steering them towards the closest island, their next adventure in tow after that dumpster fire of an island.

Just as Silk thought everything was going back to normal, she heard something that chilled her to her very bones.

“Hey guys! Fluffy brought three clockwork kittens on board with us! Can we keep them? Please? I promise I can handle the responsibility.”, pleaded Victor from belowdecks.

Immediately, Bundo and Fluffy ran below decks, with silk chasing after them to sort out the mess.

“I know it’s rich coming from me, but seriously: what is wrong with you people?” said Henry as he pulled his hat’s brim closer to his eyes. He had managed to get properly drunk on the mead of a nearby bar when the big battle was happening and was more tolerable than normal, if a bit prone to falling down.

Levi shrugged. “Just ignore it. That’s what I do. I’m just along for the ride. You get used to it after a while”, she said nonchalantly while yawning.

“Really?” asked Henry with the spark of hope that only someone who saw light at the end of a tunnel could have.

“No. It’s always some crazy stunt and you just have to deal with it.”, Levi said while ruthlessly dashing Henry’s hopes. Her deadpan sense of humor was an acquired taste for Henry, but at least her sarcasm was better than the endless streams of violence and madness that spewed forth from Silk and Victor respectively.

“I’m beginning to regret going on this boat in the first place. Being in prison for tax evasion seems better and better in comparison”, said Henry wisely. “Man, I miss regular access to alcohol. I can’t believe I’m doing this sober between trips.”

And thus, with those words, a new adventure began, and with it promises of fortune and glory to the crew as they sailed aimlessly and utterly without purpose.