《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Unwritten Kingdom》Chapter 11: A Cracked Case
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Think fast Mena, were the thoughts racing through the young witch’s head. The blade loomed ever closer, but right as it slashed an inch off Caligari’s front gown, Mena manipulated her teacher’s body to pivot away. That was a close one, Mena thought.
“Lordy Law,” Law Pops cried out. “How did she dodge that? I thought she was sleeping.”
Mena moved her teacher’s arms and legs up and down, scuttling away like a pathetic marionette. Caligari’s head drooped, making the scene even more bizarre, but her arms assumed a strange battle position and she let out a loud cry. Mena pulled her head up and moved her mouth like a puppet. “Better watch out, I’m a transparent belt in Ghost Martial Arts.”
The guard lunged at Caligari, but Mena pulled her away in time, resembling a drunk stumbling around. Mena made Caligari assume another battle pose. “Otherwise, known as Kung-Whoooooo!”
“Quick,” Pops shouted, hopping up and down. “Grab her before she disappears.”
“Wait,” Mena remarked. “I can do that? Thanks for reminding me!”
Mena’s shadow tendrils latched onto Caligari. “Now how do I work this thing?”
The tendrils pulled Caligari onto the ground, where she flailed rapidly like fish. “Uh hello?” Mena grumbled, “Bee bop boop. Go invisible!”
“GRAB HER!” Law Pops shouted even louder, causing the purple knight to sprint at her.
“Miserable magicaps,” Mena pouted, Caligari’s body laying limp on the floor. “I’m a goner.”
Mena’s shadow form hugged Caligari tightly, draping her whole body in shadows. Together, they sunk into the floor.
Like she was dragging a floating cadaver, Mena pulled her teacher through the darkness, going through rooms and floors until they reached the central dining hall. From there she pulled her all the way up the Cloud Wall and into May and Janus’ room.
Caligari’s body dropped with a thud, causing May to scream and Janus to dreamily murmur, “Lovely.”
Mena shot out of the shadows, landing on top of her teacher. “Mena!” Both her roommates exclaimed.
“Fancy evenin’ we’re having,” Mena said with a smile, brushing the back of her head.
“What’s going on?” May asked, and she looked at Caligari. “I hope this isn’t a prank. Caligari will string us up by our shadows.”
“I’ve already been there,” Mena responded, and she proceeded to fill her friends in on everything that had happened.
“I can’t believe my mummy did that,” said May with a troubled expression.
“I can,” Janus remarked sarcastically, but May paced the room with a dismayed expression.
“I know my mummy’s always been so crazy about schoolin’ me, teaching me how to be a proper lady, and making sure I get a good nutrition, but I can’t believe she’s trying to ruin the whole school.”
“Perhaps something upset her?” Mena asked, as her and Janus hoisted Caligari onto Mena’s bed. “Something might have changed since you last saw her.”
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“I dunno,” May said, turning around and walking back to the bed. “But I think I’m going to have to talk to her.”
May balled her hands up, a determined gaze from behind her glasses. “She can’t ruin this school. It’s the only place I have friends at all.”
“Me too,” Mena responded, raising her hand. She turned her head to Caligari, who was murmuring Gemini’s name as she slept. “But I think we need to get Caligari some help. What’s the anecdote for Rainbow Rotini and LS-Tea?”
Janus gave a perky smile. “Fortunately, we reapers know the cure for every poisoning. The cure for Odditea induced lunacy is a strong brew of Realitea.”
After fetching a fresh cup for Caligari and pouring it in her mouth, the half Phantom’s eyes drained of rainbows, returning to their glowing green hue. “Uhhh,” Caligari asked, her voice slightly slurred. “How did I get here?”
“Oh no,” Janus said, her high voice rising. May and Janus looked at her. “She’s still a bit existential from using those mind-expanding teas.”
May rolled her eyes in response. “I think she wants to know where she is.”
Caligari gritted her eyes. “All I could see in my minds eye, was Gemini being harmed, next to a pink, bubble blowing hippopotamus and dancing chairs,”—Caligari rose from the bed, a panicked expression on her face. “Where is he? What happened to him.”
Mena filled her phantom teacher on what had transpired after she’d conked out. (Minus the Hippopotamus of course.) As she did, Caligari’s grew more and more upset. “I cannot believe I failed him,” she remarked softly. “And now I can’t do anything about it. They’ll all be looking for me.”
Mena put her arm on her teacher’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, teach. None of us knew they were coming, but…all isn’t lost yet. They’re still having a trial here. I’m not sure when, but…”
Mena gave a playful wink and a smile. “Perhaps I can use my super cuteness to woo the court into thinking Gemini’s innocent. Much like I did with Stella.”
“That’s a gamble,” Caligari said, shaking her head. “I’m sure it will be presided by Law Pops, the Supreme Ruler of the Courts.”
“Wowie zowie,” Mena exclaimed, “Doesn’t that man have enough power?”
“They couldn’t let a name like ‘Law Pops,’ go to waste,” Caligari said, dejected.
“Regardless, we’ll handle this,” Mena said, giving a peace sign with one hand and placing the other on her hip. “Call us: Gemini’s Witnesses!”
***
Aside from a half phantom teacher holed away in their room, (Mena and her friends alternated bringing Caligari their leftover scraps from breakfast, lunch and dinner) things progressed as normally as they could after Cumberson’s coup. Cumberson made the morning announcements which were as dull and concerned about the greater good of the school as they could be. Even students who found Gemini a bit unusual, found they missed his eccentric and wacky announcements. Only the Tessellation’s gloated, since they were the biggest supporters of Gemini’s dismissal. (It couldn’t stop them from snoring loudly when Cumberson brought up how hazardous the magical mildew on the windows was, however.) Cumberson’s teaching of Nightcreeper Defense, unfortunately, took an even greater turn for the boring.
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She was now focused on the “creeper” aspect of Nightcreeper and tried to label the skeletons (who were genuinely benevolent aside from some terrible puns) and phantoms as creatures that preyed on young girls. Cumberson’s defense wasn’t magical mind powers, however, but cheap Ecto-Spray, available at her convenient store. Mena was extremely bored by all of this, but one day, right when class ended, Cumberson asked Mena to stay behind. May hovered in the corner, waiting for her chance to talk.
“Mena dear,” Cumberson said with a fake smile. “I know you’re probably looking forward to this weekend, and I really hate to ruin it for you, but you’ve got court duty.”
“Aww man,” Mena responded, kicking the ground, but secretly enthralled. “Do I really?”
Cumberson played with some of the knick-knacks on the frilly desk she had placed in the center of Caligari’s chamber. “It’s fortunately for the good of the school. We cannot let this bad apple spoil all of you good seeds. You will testify against the soon-to-be-former headmaster, right?”
“Of course,” Mena nodded with her fingers crossed behind her back. “Of course I’ll testify.”
“That’s a good girl,” Cumberson said and she stood up. “Now run along. You too Maylene.”
But May stood in place, and gave a cross stare at her mother. Cumberson put her hands on her hips and gave an equally harsh glare at May. May shivered but stepped forward. “Mother, I simply wanted to offer you this.”
May handed her mother a kumquat, fresh from the Lollypop catering kitchen. Cumberson wrinkled her nose, like her child had placed an overgrown booger in her hand. “Very well, Maylene,” she said and placed the kumquat on the desk. “I have no idea why you’re giving me this piece of fruit, but then again, you were always a special child.”
May puffed out her cheeks and responded duly, “And you were a very special mother.”
“Get out of my sight,” Cumberson snarled. “I have much work to do.”
Mena and May quickly shuffled out of their chamber. Mena had no idea what had happened between May and her mother, but she figured she shouldn’t ask.
***
When the day of the court case arrived, Mena arrived in the most formal dress she could find in the Lollypop Clothing Drive. It was dark purple and looked closer to a funeral dress than what she was used to wearing, but she figured she’d make a good impression. She wore a small bag that carried the mysterious tome. She regretted not being able to solve the mystery of the Unwritten Kingdom, but there were more pressing matters at hand.
An assembly had gathered in the school’s courtroom, a place she hadn’t been since last semester, and everyone was there: May, Janus, all the teachers, the Tessellations and their snooty mother who despised Gemini, Cumberson and several high-ranking officials from Wormwood magical government. The only one who wasn’t there yet was Law Pops and the defendant, Gemini.
Stellaris glanced nervously at Mena. It seemed she’d been asked to testify against Gemini too, ever since Mena had her talking in slang. Cumberson kept checking the hourglass on her wrist. It seemed that both Law and Gemini were running late. “Excuse me, missy?” A gruff voice accosted Mena, and she looked aside. The same smelly, small delivery man stood before her. “Letter for you,” he said. “And don’t worry, a benefactor already took care of the cost.”
Mena’s heart raced. Who was it sending her this letter? Was this the mysterious sender who asked her to come to the library, or was it another death threat?
Mena tore up the envelope and read it. Carefully pasted in different fonts was the phrase: “Meet me on the third floor, Dream Sorting Chamber. You will learn the truth there.”
Everyone applauded as Law Pops entered the room, with Gemini in a purple prison suit. Even when he was doing time in prison, he still managed to look quite dapper. “Now,” Law Pops said, “We shall begin.”
But Mena had other things on her mind, she tore past Law Pops and Gemini, and quickly ordered May and Janus to come with her. “Where are you going?” Law Pops exclaimed. “What in dog’s name?”
“The bathroom,” Mena shouted back. “Nervous bladder.”
“But what about these two?” he asked.
Mena put her hands on her hips, “When haven’t you seen a lady going to the bathroom alone? Shame on you.”
Gemini smiled at Mena and gave her a thumbs up from his hand cuffs, causing Law Pops to turn around. Mena winked back at him and the three left the courtroom.
Hurrying up to the third floor, Mena could hardly wait to see who it was. And when she did, she stood and gaped.
Inside the Dream Sorting Chamber, was the last person she expected. There, holding a letter, was Ashlan, her former roommate.
“It’s a shame you couldn’t crack the case of the Unwritten Kingdom,” Ashlan said and pointed her hand to her head. “Because with my smarts, I have.”
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