The atmosphere of everyone had suddenly livened up almost instantly, pretty much everyone ordered expensive champagne. A light drink that was also expensive, the women and men could rejoice because drinking for free had just landed in their lap. Yugai was shocked by the previous display of physical strength Violet had performed by smashing the wine bottle into nothing but for him who had saved money no matter how small his entire life, he could not believe she would part with such an absurd amount without batting an eye. As if she was telling him that all of this was nothing to her, and he fell even deeper into the whirlpool of her presence. One of the queens of the night stood before him and it took every ounce of strength to stay afloat.

“I’d like two cassis oranges!” Violet called over the slightly distressed waiter and he took the order and left with a bow. “A lighter drink would be good, I can see it’s your first time.” Another jab between the ribs. Yugai could only grit his teeth at the comment, it was true and that was exactly why it stung harder than normal. He was reduced to being a child in her eyes again. Having been so overwhelmed by her last few stunts, all his progress on a counterattack to have some semblance of control or stability in their conversation had been obliterated. Two orange and red looking drinks in tall glasses were placed on the table and Violet slurped up about a third of it without missing a beat. Yugai felt obligated to intake an equal amount of alcohol.

“So, here’s the next part.” Violet was ready to start again, or rather, she felt that Yugai had been given enough time to heal, that he had recovered enough mental and emotional stamina to take another heavy hit. He braced himself for something even darker and with more force than the last gut punch. He had to weather the storm no matter what. “So, as I was saying, I wanted to be strong desperately. I ended up seeing a fight between some of my upperclassmen, five girls against one. That one senior of mine wiped the floor with her attackers in probably just over a minute. She dodged and countered every attack and threw them to the floor. I was astounded and begged her to teach me. She took me to her Aikido dojo and there I started chasing it in earnest. I quickly became a star pupil who defeated tons of opponents. Within a year, I was confident. I gained a sense of personal power. A little piece of freedom.”

Yugai had a flash of familiarity. Yes, indeed, he could empathise with his feeling. He had obtained something similar just this morning. The power to fight back against your enemies, but more importantly the faith and drive in oneself’s to challenge the world whenever it comes to crush you. His ears pricked up and his hands balled into fists unconsciously. He wanted to hear this. “Like I said, after that one incident in the first year of junior high my dad would find excuses to hit me. So, one day… I was sure I was strong enough. I fought back. I used everything I had learned to try and prove to him I wasn’t taking his shit anymore.” Her grip on the glass tightened. A little more force and it’d end up just like the wine bottle from earlier. She catches herself in the last moment and sets it down and exhales, and regained her calm demeanour.

“He totally destroyed me.” She let out a dry laugh and one that seemed very honest and genuine. A bit of the mask fell with that comment. “My dojo was filled with women who wanted to be strong. It was truly inspiring. I had never sparred or fought with a man. I didn’t know.” There’s a bit of trembling in her voice, just a tiny shred but enough that Yugai could catch it. “I didn’t know the difference in muscle strength was that... “ She gets mad simply recalling it. “It wasn’t fair. All my techniques were absolutely useless against him because of that difference. On top of that, Aikido needs you to have a certain level of power in the first place, you need enough to match your opponent to make your counters and throws mean anything. At the time my self-worth shattered.” Violet closed her eyes again. “Do you have any idea what that felt like?”

Yugai had no immediate response. He couldn’t think of anything that could support or console, so he chose the only card he had. “...What happened next?” One step. It’s just a single step forward but it’s better than waiting to drown. That was how he thought of it. “ I’m so pleased you’re interested in me.” Violet downed her glass to fill her with a bit more liquid courage. “After that happened, well for about a whole year or so he didn’t show up on Fridays like he usually did.

I was incredibly angry and upset at my revelation. I lost genetically because my father was a man and I was a woman. It stung hard. So… ah I probably have to explain this first.” Violet grabbed her braided hair with both hands. It was a light and tender embrace and her tense face eased up and her smile returned to her along with her clear shiny eyes.

“When I was a little girl, I saw a braid just like this one and thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. So I asked if my mom could braid it the same way. It took her a while to learn but after she did, she would always braid my hair every morning. She did it with such loving care and delicacy, we would talk about everything and she’d listen intently even though I was always running my mouth up and down with the random thoughts of a child. When she passed, I didn’t undo the braid for a long time until I didn’t really have a choice. I then learned how to do it myself, it was really hard for me to do my own hair like that when I was that young. I worked hard to do it just like she did. This braid is incredibly important to me. It always will be.” Yugai stared with longing. He was now jealous. His earlier comment about being lucky now felt stupid. The words that had left his lips had turned to ash and retreated to where they had once come from. They had been burned away by the love she held for her mother and then buried by the coldness of the absence of such care in his own life.

“I cut it.” The comment breaks his sadness and filled it with surprise. “I cut it off and most of my hair until I looked just like a boy. I began to speak like a man, dressed and acted like one too. I got into street fights. I had lost my confidence in myself, so I tried to divorce all aspects of me. Throw away the girl and everything about her. Even now, I have days where I tie up my hair and put on a wig, and make myself look like a man. That experience really messed with me. When my dad finally saw me again, he really lost his shit but he didn’t hit me once. He just destroyed tons of things in the house. I was terrified. He just went on a rampage until the living room was mostly a broken mess, I just kind of stood there. I was angry at myself again during that. I got stronger from all the brawling but I was still scared. When he finally stopped he started crying and fell down and just laid in the destruction he made.”

Violet crossed her eyes and trouble brewed within her body. Yugai could see it. The things before were heavy but she had mostly been able to say the words without much of a reaction. This was the past for her and she had mostly learned to deal with it by now, but what was coming next was a problem that continued to vex her in the present. “When I returned from school the day after, the whole place had been cleaned and repaired. I was cautious about seeing him again. I was determined. Next time I’d kick his ass, I swore to myself. I didn’t see him for about a week after that. It was a Friday. He smiled at me and didn’t say a word. He simply saw that I was at home and he left after confirming that fact. I didn’t get my chance. He left a note on the living room table.” Violet sighed and called over the waiter to fix her with a large mug of draft beer and chugged a great deal of it before she was willing to continue.

“It basically said, sorry. It was wrong of me to blame you for your mother’s death. I don’t deserve to be your father. I know I never can make it up to you but I’m going to try to continue supporting you anyway. You don’t need to see me anymore, the house is yours.” Violet sighed. “That was about when I had just started high school. It’s been maybe eight or so years since then. He kept having heaps of money and supplies delivered to my house. Everything from study books to shampoo. Financially speaking, I had no wants anymore. It was insane.

“I didn’t want to accept anything from him, but I convinced myself it was the least he could do, so I did beat my stubbornness and ended up using whatever he gave me. I told myself that he would never change, that this was all some ploy to get me back that he would fail in. That he’d revert to his awful behaviour. It’s been eight years… and he’s really… nice now. Always nice, whenever I give him a call, or even if I actually bother to meet him… he’s so much like the dad I knew before my mother died. It pisses me off. He’s never once tried to force us to reconcile. He’s just been supportive. He understands my personal space too. If I do need him, he’ll come running at the speed of light. ...I’ve spent more time with him lately. It feels almost normal now. Like all of that never happened, but I can’t forget. I can’t forget the burning sensation of his fists.”

Violet touches her left cheek with her left hand and recalled the pain. “Even so, I can’t help but… he works hard now, he always has time for me, he’s trying so hard to be a good person, not just to me but everyone and everything. I spied on him a few times. He’s practically a beloved local saint now. He’s changed. For real. When I knew, when I knew he was a better man, I ran up to him and punched him and I asked him what caused all this. Heh. Do you believe it? He said that the reason why was because I cut my hair. He said he knew how much it meant to me, how much my mom meant to me. When he figured out I had cut it because of him? That was what set everything off. He said he felt so much shame that he ruined that bond between my mom and me that he thought about killing himself, but he chose instead to do everything in his power to make me live however I want, as free as I can be… it’s what mom would have wanted and what he now wanted. It’s what he wants even now. He said it was more than just guilt now, it was his responsibility, as a father and a husband. As a man. After that particular meeting… I...”

Violet drank from the mug of beer again until it was empty and slammed it against the table. It didn’t break but small fractures had spread across the glass upon impact. She placed her hands on her braid again and gripped it tightly as if she was hanging onto something she valued more than her life.

“It’s been eight years since he changed. About eleven years since he hit me for the first time. Almost thirteen years since my mother died. Is that enough time? Should I forgive him? I really need your opinion here, Milo. That’s why I’m here. I need to hear someone else’s input. Does he deserve forgiveness?”

Yugai had listened to the whole story. He was now abnormally calm in the face of the massive and dramatic buck he had been passed by the drunk and powerful woman. He opened his lip and answered without a hint of fear or apprehension. “That’s not for me to decide.” A fire crackles from his mouth. Kentarou watched in disbelief. He could feel something was changing between the two of them and that something was about to burst from the young man. The question was, would it damn him forever to hell or be salvation for a tortured soul?