I've always admired the wasteful, or should I say the so-called wasteful, life that Yozo led. He drank, slept with women, settled down once in a while, worked here and there and drew. But he always got back to being the him that was careless and free. The idea of having just enough money to do just what you want at that moment is a moment of pure bliss to me. How Yozo could relax himself in the flimsy world of communists and Horiki, brings out a feeling of yearning in me. Sadly, I was never able to relax.

Joining that club was a pleasant thing for me, as unexpected as that may be. The club leader was a friend of that guy. She was a nice girl, though I tended to avoid her initially, because I felt unwelcomed. The two seemed to me to be very close. She called him "Pассол". It seems everyone decided to go along with it, very soon I was calling him Paccon. There were many members in the club, though rarely anyone made visits to the clubroom. So it was a peaceful place to be in and I ended up going there a lot. Paccon, the leader Kuma and another girl Mimo were the only regular members other than me. Another slouch would show up once in a while but he only ever came for napping. I got along well with the others. Paccon was the funniest guy I ever knew. His favorite hobby was teasing Kuma and I went along with him as far as he would go, sometimes she would snap, other times she'd ignore him completely.

Paccon was a really hearty guy and he managed to bring out a bit of life in me as well. I became regular at school again and I believe I looked far better. Paccon and I remained in contact almost 24/7. He was a guy that loved to take walks at 1 o'clock in the morning and he went around taking pictures of the town. Those pictures would be our topic of discussion all night. He was a crazy guy. It was always something new with him. I never got bored.

It wasn't too late before Paccon and Kuma had a falling out. I'm not too sure why it happened but Paccon left the club. I did too. Paccon broke off with Kuma like they'd never known each other. He wasn't bothered but I know Kuma was. She came around to talk to me once and invited me to come back to the club, I had to refuse. Paccon and I spent most of our times frolicking around. Mimo joined us once in a while. She was a cute little girl, despite being older than me. I couldn't stand that but she was alright. Paccon's friend came around to join us too. He was a nice guy and from what Paccon told me, I concluded that he really liked him. Though I never got to talk much to him.

I never asked these people about their history. There was obviously a lot going on but I decided not to butt in. Paccon and I never talked about the serious stuff. Only vaguely and really subtly did we ever speak about such matters. Paccon once told me that he didn't like Mimo, "She's fake". I didn't say a thing but Mimo never came along with us anymore. Afterwards, it was just me and Paccon, always waiting for his friend to come along. He was a busy guy and rarely ever came around.

I wish they did. I wish someone stuck around with us. We ripped each other to shreds and threw us into a river. We should never have been left alone. I never even saw it coming. I was too relaxed. That's the mistake in our lives, in Yozo's and in mine. And that's what destroyed us both.