Fear fueled Ellis at a primal level. His fear of failure, the future and just about anything else he could conjure up in his head drove his actions. His strives for perfection were just another way he would try to mitigate his anxieties. Ellis wasn’t afraid of Roman but rather what he would do. At best Roman was delightful, at worst though, he was like a hurricane rolling through a harbor town. He could certainly fake the poise and grace he needed but Ellis’s mother, Kathrine, knew better. It would have been impossible to calculate exactly how long Roman spent sitting in her office for whatever string of bad and impulsive behavior had taken him at the time.

His fear seeped in as he watched Roman shake hands with his dad. Ellis wondered what his dad was thinking as he sized up Roman. The sports jacket and slacks Ellis picked out for Roman were enough to pass his father's obscenely high standards although just barely. It was slightly mismatched, the slacks a hair too short and the jacket hung off his shoulders. If Ellis had to guess the jacket was either some apparent stylish creation of Roman’s mothers or a relic of Robert’s younger years. The small well-placed grin on his father’s face was more of a formality than a reflection of his emotion.

With his father leading the way to the dining room, Ellis focused on keeping the conversation light and nothing of Roman’s choosing. The dining room was captivating from the shimmer gold and blue wallpaper to the mahogany table. Every piece in the room was carefully curated to create the feeling of sophistication and artistry.

Roman was the first to sit down, taking Prue’s old spot although it only seemed to bother Ellis. As Ellis sat in the plush blue dining chair, he noticed each place setting already had a glass of red wine beside it, even Roman’s. He couldn’t quite wrap his brain around it but there had to have been a reason. His parents didn’t do anything without reasoning.

“How did you enjoy football? I heard you were quite the player.” His father spoke casually as if he was interested in the reply. Ellis already knew that he wouldn’t care.

“Yeah, I really only got to play for half of the season but it was fun. Don’t think I’ll join next year though.” He tapped twice on his temple. “Thank you for asking, Mr. Holloway.”

“Please, call me Phil.” It was odd hearing his father use his first name. “I was surprised you and Ellis dropped swimming when you did. You boys seemed to love it so much.”

“Yeah, I just hit a rough patch for a few years and that really just ended my swimming career.”

“Ah yes, Kathrine told me all about the disciplinary issues over the past few years.”

Roman chewed on his bottom lip and kept his focus on the background to avoid eye contact. It was true that he was a charismatic kid, but charisma could only carry you so far. Ellis watched as the gears turned in Roman’s head as they both started to come to the same conclusion. The plan wouldn’t work.

The thing about charisma is, it was highly ineffective against sharks and Roman had dove feet first into a shark tank. His parents could smell blood in the water but Roman was too clueless to even realize he’d been cut.

“Your parents pulled you from school for a little bit, didn’t they?” Ellis had no idea what his father was trying to get at, but he could sense it wasn’t good.

He took the stem of the wine glass between his fingers and sipped on the wine as if it was the most natural thing he had ever done. Why would they give him a glass? His father tiptoed around the topic asking any open-ended question that could get Roman to reveal more about himself.

“Yeah, they did. I had some intensive therapy.” There was no hesitation in Roman’s voice. “It gave me some perspective. Made me realize who my real friends are.”

It was hard to tell if the smile playing at the corner of his mouth was real or just an act for some easy points from his dad.

His mother wheeled a small cart into the room with the food nicely presented. She swooped each plate up and placed it in front of them. She was overdressed for the occasion. Her pearl necklace and designer maroon dress were usually reserved for a formal occasion, not a family dinner. And yet she was dolled up with her platinum blond hair pulled into a style that resembled old Hollywood actresses. Even her makeup was impeccable.

Silver scraped against fine china as Roman pushed the food around on his plate. The veal piccata was clearly not to his liking nor was the truffle pasta. Ellis could only assume Roman had spent his life up to this point only eating chicken nuggets or any other greased up meal he could stomach.

“How is Declan?” His mother said as spread her fabric napkin across her lap.

“He’s doing great.” Declan was a lot of things, annoying, bratty and a bit egotistic but he was not great. Roman furrowed his brow before considering his next sentence. “I think he’s planning on spending Christmas in New York with our mom.”

“And you?”

“I will probably spend it with my dad. I’m not much for the city and my mom likes to make a big show of Christmas which is a bit stressful to be honest.”

Roman’s ever-present ability to fake emotional vulnerability was impressive but his approach was wrong. Holloway's valued family above everything else. Blood was thicker than water and a Holloway would sooner die than hurt their family. The Davenport’s on the other hand were acquaintances at best, they all just happened to live in the same house.

“What a shame. I mean that your family can’t be bothered to spend one of the most important holidays together.” Her condescending tone caused Roman to clench his jaw, but he swallowed his pride. “I mean, I can’t blame Marta though with Robert marrying that vixen.”

Roman rolled his jaw around and yawned. It was a desperate attempt to do anything that would stop the rapid-fire insults he was known for. His mother extended an offer to spend the holidays at their house. It was a genuine offer, but Roman’s vague answer did little to satisfy her.

“I’ll talk to my parents about that.” Roman blatantly lied with an unnatural grin pulled tightly across his face. “Where’s the washroom? It’s been a while since I’ve been here, and I can’t quite recall.”

“I can show you.” Ellis said softly, excusing himself from the table.

Quickly, Ellis whisked himself and Roman out of the room. They ambled around the long hallway until they reached the washroom door. Ellis gestured half heartedly before turning back to the dining room. His foot hadn’t even hit the floor before he felt Roman gripping on to his wrist. His shoulders were tense, and his steely eyes stretched wide.

“You were right.” Ellis loved the way the words sounded coming out of Roman’s mouth.

“Oh yeah, it’s almost like I know what type of people my parents are.” Ellis quipped back before pulling him away.

“Your parents hate my family-”

“But they like you. God knows why.” Ellis scoffed. “And they hate your parents because they did a shit job raising you. Can’t really blame them for that.”

He didn’t intend to sound cruel but it was the only way Roman would listen. Ellis warned him and Roman’s ego got in the way again. Harsh words crossed his mind as he looked into Roman’s eyes. In some ways, Ellis was like a rabid dog. He always went for the throat even with his quick-witted insults.

“So, either I stomach an entire dinner where your parents shit talk mine while I eat food that I highly doubt is edible or-”

“This.” Ellis flailed his hands around. “Was your idea, you made your bed; you lie in it. Want to yell at them, argue the point? Go ahead but know they won’t agree to anything you say after that. Make no mistake, it’s not your personality they like. They think you coming here is some sign they could fix you. You are a pet project for them. If you play into it, you get what you want. If you get mad, you won’t get anything from them. It’s your call.”

In reflection, his words were just as true for himself as they were for Roman. Ellis was perfect by design because he had to be. Every club, extracurricular and sport were just desperate ploys for him to earn his parent's affection. Holloway's love was conditional and it all pended on him doing the exact action that would lead him down the path his parents picked out for him. His life was planned out before he had even turned three. Become a lawyer, join the senate. That was the only way his parents would ever truly love him. Ellis desperately craved to be loved for who he was, not who he would become.

“Fine.” Roman for the second time that night swallowed his pride.

Returning to the dining room, Roman kept a plastic smile plastered on his face. Just as they took their seats, Ellis noted his parents were seemingly sitting in silence prior to their return, meaning they were more than likely speaking about the boys.

“How are your classes, Ellis?” His father's voice was deep and smooth, showing no indication of his mood.

“Good, I’m getting A’s for-”

“Why not A+’s?”

“God, I wish I had those kinds of grades.” Roman said feigning earnestness.

“We could arrange a tutor for you. Someone who could better handle your learning style.” His mother sipped on her wine with a small smirk.

Ellis couldn’t tell if his mother was trying to warp Roman into being the way she wanted him to be or if she was trying to be a good headmaster. Either way, Roman changing would only suit to benefit her. Again, Roman gave a noncommittal answer before returning to pretend to eat. There was a surprising amount of strategy in his faux eating. First, he would mash the food, move it around a bit before bringing it up to his mouth then he would ask a question or engage in the conversion.

“I’m serious, Roman. We could get you one of the best tutors.” His mother cackled in an oddly judgmental way.

“I’ll have to mention it to my parents.” Roman answered but his mother's cackle only grew louder. “Pardon?”

“You’ll have to excuse my wife. We just think it’s a little funny. Your parents don’t seem like people of action.” His father replied as he stood from his chair. “You’d best make your own decisions. Of course, with you and Ellis being so close we’ll treat you like family.”

“Thank you.” Roman’s voice was thin and dry. “Actually, you are right. I’ve been trying to convince my parents to help me with some event planning for a while, but they never seem to have the time.”

Sometimes, Ellis wondered how Roman could lie so easily as he was born to do it. His mother got up from the table and collected the plates. She didn’t even notice how Roman had barely eaten. She stopped beside him and asked,

“How do you mean?”

“Well, some other kids and I had the idea to hold a wake-a-thon to raise money for the Davis Astor Scholarship. A wake-a-thon is like an overnight event so we wanted to host it in Davis’s old dorm, but we’d need adult supervision and someone to properly make the proposal. My parents don’t much care for anything like that…Oh and I learned that the dorm he lived in is closed so that killed our plan.”

Roman stuck his bottom lip out just a hair and gave a soft tremble. Ellis had never realized Roman was such a good actor. His ability to mirror a real emotion was unsettling. He was half curious where Roman stopped and the acting began.

“I suppose we could open it for an event but you and your friends would need to do all the work to clean it up. It will have to be over the holiday break seeing as there won’t be enough time beforehand. Oh, and you’ll need to do the advertising and fundraising for it.”

Ellis's mother was a very intelligent woman. An ivy league graduate, a former university professor and a matriarch and yet she still bought Roman’s story for no other reason than his sad expression. Nothing about Roman screams charitable or even giving but that didn’t matter. Perhaps charisma worked better on sharks then Ellis had originally assumed.

“Sam can help with the advertising. He’s in AP art.” Ellis chimed in and bit back a comment about the validity of AP art as a course.

“It’s so lovely that you want to get involved.” She took a gulp of her wine before handing the dirty plates over to his father. “Say Roman, did your parents ever teach you to dance?”

“No,” Ellis could hear the hesitation seeping from Roman’s voice.

“I taught my children to dance. I used to do ballroom dancing, ballet and even contemporary. I did some professional work as a ballerina for a few years in college.”

“I don’t think Davenport’s can dance. My dad used to say we were all born with two left feet.”

“Nonsense. Follow me.”

Fear lit up in Roman’s eyes. She led them back through the hall and out to the parlor. It was rare that they ever spent time in, but it was still immaculate. Like the rest of the house, every piece of furniture had been curated to match perfectly. In the corner of the room was a collection of vinyl records and a record player that Ellis was certain hadn’t been used since she had taught him to dance. She put on a familiar tune and stepped out onto the marble tile. She held her hand out for Roman. Ellis’s father appeared in the doorway. Half leaning on the frame, he watched with a warm smile.

When Roman didn’t take her hand, she took his and placed it on her back. Stifling a laugh, Ellis watched as his mother slowly explained the steps to Roman who nodded along softly. As they started to sway, he gave Ellis a dead expression over her shoulder. What felt like seconds to Ellis must have felt like an eternity to Roman because the moment Ellis’s father asked if he could cut in, Roman more than happily said yes.

Stepping out of the parlor, Roman muttered a quick thank you before practically dragging Ellis out of the house. Laughter erupted from Ellis. Panicked, Roman pulled at the handles of the Rolls Royce while Ellis held the keys in his hand making no motion to unlock it.

“What even is your family?” Roman spat.

“I warned you.”

“Not about dancing with your mom.” Roman smacked his hand against the window. “Unlock it.”

“Be flattered. If you were Sam, they wouldn’t even let you inside.” Ellis unlocked the doors and Roman practically fell in.

“Take me home.”

“Dad’s?”

“Mom’s.”

Ellis didn’t question it. He started the car and backed out of the driveway. Roman was more present than he usually was. He rattled off a few small talk conversations topics before settling on school as the topic as if he cared about it. Ellis turned up the radio as he got closer to the main street. Roman didn’t pick up on Ellis’s lack of interest.

“Oh, by the way, do you have the notes for what I’m supposed to say for the bio project written up?”

“I’ll have them for you before we present.” Ellis responded, watching his rear-view mirror.

“We present Monday.”

Shit, Ellis cursed silently. Between the magic, crying gold and ghosts he had forgotten about the bio project. Not to mention being the only one working on a four-person project meant he had to do even more work. He couldn’t let Roman know. It wasn’t that Roman cared about his grades but the fact he would hold this over Ellis’s head forever.

“Yeah, I’ll email them to you.”

The entire trip to Roman’s was Ellis internally screaming while Roman complained about the plan to clean the Wildes dorm and how a supervisor was going to make the entire matter even more difficult. In hindsight it did seem to be a rather elaborate plan just to talk to some ghosts for twenty minutes, but Ellis didn’t have time to care about that.

“Pull over here.” Roman said, craning his neck to see past Ellis.

“Why?”

“Close enough to my mom’s that I can walk. And seeing as my mom likes you, I don’t want her seeing us together. Don’t want to give her the impression that we’re still friends.”

“We are friends.”

“Yeah, and do you think I want to let her have that satisfaction? No.” Roman slammed the door behind him. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Bye, Roe.” The two exchanged a confused look at the nickname before Roman wandered up the road.

Once Roman was out of his line of sight, Ellis dialed Fletcher. He was the obvious choice to help finish the project. Not only would he have the time, he would understand the predicament without judgement. His intelligence would also prove to be useful. Listening to the dial tone, Ellis tried to formulate a sentence that wouldn’t point blame for the lack of work but take enough accountability that no one would be mad.

“Uh, hello?” Fletcher’s voice croaked through the phone. “Is something wrong?”

“What are you doing?” Ellis pulled back on to the road and headed towards the Yates house.

“Watching a movie with my mom.” Suspicion trickled through the phone.

“Are you free to help with the bio project?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Um…either the entire report or the presentation.” Ellis admitted. “Research is done, I just haven’t had time to put it together.”

Fraudulent and idiotic summed up Ellis’s quick reflection of himself. On paper he was a well-educated kid but in truth he often felt like he was fumbling through life. He couldn’t even keep his word to do one simple project.

“Yeah, you can come over to my place or we can-”

“Already on my way.”

It was a quick drive to the Yates house, more so because of Ellis’s speeding rather than the distance. The house was basic, very simple and a bit too cookie cutter for Ellis’s taste but it suited Fletcher. Already waiting at the front door, Fletcher leaned on the frame. His hair was swirled around, unbrushed and more than anything else natural.

Ellis got out of the car and noticed Fletcher’s cartoon dog printed pajama bottoms. It was rare to see him so comfortable. Leading him through the house, Fletcher made small talk until they reached his bedroom. Out of all the boy’s houses, they’d probably spent the most time at Fletcher’s. The welcoming environment made it easy to stick around.

Fletcher’s bedroom looked the same it did when they were kids, save for a few more trophies on his shelf. The green paint still bore chips and cracks from their boyhood recklessness. The cork board sat in front of his desk was covered in notes, dates, and photos. The first few photos that Ellis spotted were of Fletcher and Beck’s many dates but there were more with people Ellis didn’t recognize. Sometimes he forgot Fletcher had a life in the years that had passed, that he had other friends, other important people in his life. Pinned at the top was an older photo of Fletcher with his arm draped over Ellis’s shoulder as they held up their medals from some swim competition.

If Fletcher noticed Ellis’s gawking, he didn’t say anything. He took a spot on the bed and popped his laptop open, ready to work.

“So, I’ll do the presentation while you do the paper.” Fletcher replied, tapping away the keys.

Time seemed to slip by. Ellis would write a paragraph, read it out and Fletcher would give some comments about improvements that could be made. On the other hand, Fletcher would work on a slide, add some notes and get Ellis to check it over. In a few hours they had a decent project made, not a perfect project but enough that it wouldn’t bring down their grades.

Ellis watched Fletcher carefully poured over the essay. It was an extraordinary sight to watch Fletcher take such an intense focus. The way his eyelids dropped down and highlighted his thick eyelashes was breathtaking. Fletcher curved his lips around each word he read but made no sound. Ellis was so taken in by his captivating features. The thin, refined features were reminiscent of portraits Ellis saw in museums. His beauty could have held Ellis’s attention for days.

Part of him wished he could find something in Fletcher that he didn’t like, any sort of blight that would make his feelings easier to handle. The problem with Fletcher Yates was that he was perfect in every way. Kind, compassionate and any other positive adjective that Ellis could come up with described him but there was nothing that Ellis could use to combat how he idolized Fletcher. Ellis was enamored with Fletcher for far longer than he would have liked to admit.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Ellis was fully ready to tell him but that didn’t do anything to subside his sweating palms or shaking chest.

“Sure.” Fletcher responded without so much as a glance up from the computer screen.

“I-”

Fletcher’s phone rang and he scooped it up. Gesturing for Ellis to hold on, he answered the call. It was a brief conversation, but Ellis gathered it was Beck calling considering the sheer amount of time Fletcher said I love you.

“What were you saying?” Fletcher said blankly.

“It’s nothing.” I’m completely in love with you and have no idea how to tell you, Ellis silently corrected himself. “I got to go. See you at school.”

Fletcher scrunched up his face but whatever perplexing thought he had, he kept it to himself. Fraudulent and idiotic were fantastic words for Ellis. He was so disingenuous he couldn’t be honest for one moment but if he had been, it would have ruined everything. He wished he could hate something as much as he hated himself.