《The God Cheese Chase》6. Puppet and Dragon
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Puppet and Dragon
Beatrix returned right as midnight rolled around. Her body language said she was tired but her eyes burned with excitement.
“That dog sure was interesting,” She laughed. “The thing could really put up a fight.”
“Which dog?” I had to ask.
“The gatekeeper of the realm, that Garm fellow.”
“You fought that thing?”
“Sure did, it was a tie though. Had to stop and get back here before you guys leave me behind.”
We were all silent. These mythical creatures were on par with gods…and she fought one to a standstill.
“I’m almost half convinced to fight that serpent if I hadn’t known you would force me to make a deal in your favor,” I sighed.
We got the power, just never the motivation. Beatrix perhaps had the most accurate gauge of the serpent. If she didn’t want to willingly fight it, perhaps she knows she didn’t have a chance. Fights in which she knows she won’t win easily, usually involves me having to give her something in return.
“So how’s plan coming along?” Beatrix asked.
“Jobs is up all night preparing that automaton.”
“You sure he will have it ready by tomorrow?” Her eyebrows rose. “Knowing his perfectionist attitude, he might not let us use it until it’s been tweaked over and over again.”
“Let’s just pray that Debra can keep him in check,” I sighed.
“Speaking of Debra,” Beatrix had this hungry look in her eyes again. “I always wanted to get to ‘know her better’, if you know what I mean.”
“Beatrix…I don’t know what to say,” I sighed. “Just don’t eat her up in one bite, we still need her help.”
“Does this mean you’re giving me permission?”
“Just think of it as a reward for helping us keep those wolves away,” I said. “Oh, don’t forget to ask Jobs for permission as well.”
“Easy, thanks, Captain,” She said while drooling. “They don’t call me the mistress of ten thousand techniques for nothing.”
“No one calls you that but yourself…”
It may be the only time she calls me captain – when she gets something she wants. I shuttered at the thought. Looks like I need to wear earmuffs to sleep tonight.
______
I woke up the next morning with bags under my eyes. Looks like I was right, the earmuffs didn’t work.
My crew looked haggard. Jobs was passed out on the floor of his lab, Egg was leaning against the mast with his arms crossed and eyes closed, Debra looked...well, she was practically glowing. Beatrix was nowhere to be seen. Rigor was perhaps the only person who looked normal today.
“D-did Jobs finish the job?” I had to ask Debra since Jobs was out cold.
“Y-yes, Captain. He finished it before going to sleep.”
“Let us see it.”
“Y-yes, Captain,” She pushed out a trolley with an object covered by a large fabric.
She removed the fabric and revealed the automaton.
It was jet black with silver joint sections. It was a miracle it stayed balanced with its limbs being so sharp and spiky. It looked to be a feminine model. Its eyes were closed and the face on it looked like it was removed straight from an actual person. It gave off an uncanny feeling.
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“It’s extremely well done,” I sighed. “I guess Jobs really went all out again.”
“Y-yes, my dear stayed up all night trying to get the face just right,” Debra answered.
“…Just the face?”
“Just the face. The rest of the frame and controls were easily fixed within the first hour.”
I was lost for words.
“That’s Jacob for you, always a perfectionist,” Egg sighed. “How do we pilot this thing?”
“It’s an O-series Automaton so it moves by voice command, no other controls necessary.”
“Did he really have that kind of technology?”
“We found it in the Archaeon Ruins on our last adventure, Captain.”
“Did we?”
“You were drunk,” Egg complained. “Completely and utterly hammered. It was a miracle no one died.”
I couldn’t say anything.
*cough* “Anyways, since we are ready, shall we head to where the worm is located?”
“The locals said it’s in the cave of spirits,” Rigor replied.
“Where is that?”
“Right next to the trunk of the tree, due north to us. It’s marked by warning signs, so we shouldn’t miss it.”
“Why does it seem like we always head toward where the warning signs said not to go…” Egg sighed. “Captain, if it weren’t for your blind stupid luck, I’m sure we would have all been dead long ago by now.”
“Do you have to keep mentioning that?” I frowned.
“It’s a ritual by now, if I don’t say it, we die horribly,” Egg smiled.
“Well, I ain’t in the mood to die horribly today, so go ahead and chant it.”
“Already am, Captain,” Everyone replied.
Debra started the engine and the Sinclair Jr. started to roll.
______
“Captain Stilton, the prey is on the move.”
“Follow them, but keep a big enough distance away.”
“Yes, Captain.”
“That foolish Charles, I wonder what he plans to do this time,” Edgar smiled. “His tendency to entire suicidal situations will be the death of him.”
______
The warning signs were literally everywhere. Throughout the entire gray colored field, were wooden signposts hammered into the ground. All of them reads something like ‘Beware the dragon’ or ‘Nidhogg ahead! Turn back!’
The land became more and more desolate as if a poison was seeping through the ground eroding everything away.
We soon came up to a wide cave opening. All the signs had vanished as if those who put them dare didn’t manage to take another step further. My crew was hiding in a sealed chamber within the storage area. Only Debra was outside, controlling the ship. She was immune to the poisonous air permeated through the area.
“We are here, Captain,” Her muffled voice came through the glass walls. “Should we enter or deploy the automaton first?”
“Jobs?” I looked toward Jobs who had woken not long ago.
“Bring us in slowly, deploy the automaton when the poison concentration reaches near critical levels.”
“Got it dear,” Debra replied.
No matter how well the ship was built, the poison can reach such a high concentration that it seems into the wood and rot it from the inside. It could also be acidic and erode the metal parts if it were to get concentrated enough.
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We entered the cave. The ship’s two large wheels ran over a countless number of shattered bones. The deeper we went, the more refined the bones had been crushed. Soon it was nothing but white sand beneath us.
Ahead we saw a very clear distinction that we reached our goal. The white sand became purple from the miasma.
“We reached the point of near critical, deploy O-series Automaton now.”
The robot was removed from its holdings and it limped onto the ground.
“Ready, dear. Just say the command,” Debra replied.
“Release, Model 1842-O. Follow commands User A1,” Jobs said monotonously. “Command set, move forward.”
The automaton came to life with its glowing yellow eyes. Its limbs clicked and locked in place. It allowed the hunched over robot to stand upright.
It walked forward at a rapid pace, dodging all the protruding stalagmites and stalactites. What seemed like an hour later, the automaton came to a stop and relayed a message back to Jobs.
“TARGET FOUND. SOURCE OF HIGHLY CORROSIVE CONTENTS. ERROR-LIFE SIGNS NOT DETECTED.”
“How can there be not any life signs?”
“Creatures near the strength of gods no longer give off life signals.”
“So you’re saying this thing is a god level threat?”
“It seems so, Capt.”
I frowned.
“Model 1842-O, command set, proceed with caution and convince the target that you are a follower of the dragon Fafnir.”
“AFFIRMATIVE. REQUIRED: DATA ON FAFNIR.”
“Debra, send the data to the automaton.”
“Yes, Dear.”
Debra’s eyes flashed as she seemed to twitch her nose.
“Just how much did you customize her body…?” I wanted to ask but it was impolite.
“DATA ACQUIRED, EXECUTING GIVEN TASK.”
The automaton approached the large white creature lying on its stomach. Its large mouth was big enough to swallow the Sinclair Jr. whole.
“Are you sure this is OK?” I questioned. “The robot’s voice is kind of…mechanic, don’t you think?”
“Just watch and see,” Jobs smiled. “I didn’t work the whole night for nothing.”
“Oh Wormy, wormy worm, your new wife is here~!”
An ear piercingly annoying choice came from the monitor.
“…Jobs…what the hell did you do to the robot?”
“I added certain ‘features’, Capt. It’s all good.”
“WHO DARES DISTURBING MY SLUMBER?!”
The entire cave shook. The purple miasma spread further.
“Back up Debra, back up!” I yelled.
We barely manage to back away from the critical zone.
“WHO IS IT?!” the voice continued to echo.
“It would seem the creature is blind from living in the darkness for so long.
“Let the robot answer.”
“Oh hi wormy worm, I’m here from Fafnir~!”
“FAFNIR? WHAT DOES THAT STEEL BASTARD HAVE TO DO WITH ME?”
“Faffy said for me to come keep you company~.”
“COMPANY? I COULD USE SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I GOT A LOT OF COMPLAINTS!”
“Go ahead wormy bunny, go blow your load all on me~!”
“…Jobs, you need to get out more,” I sighed.
“I-I had some help from Beatrix for the lines,” Jobs replied.
I stared at Debra. I still haven’t asked her where Beatrix went.
“I-is it distracted?”
“Listen,” I said.
“LATELY I HAVENT BEEN GETTING ENOUGH SOULS TO EAT. THAT BITCH HEL HAS BEEN HOLDING BACK ON ME. I AM A GROWING BOY, I NEED CONSTANT SUSTINENCE.”
“Oh wow wormy Hun, you sure are big for a growing boy huh?”
“THIS ISNT EVEN MY FINAL FORM!”
“Ohh, wormy is going to get big and thick huh? I can’t wait!”
“AHAHA! THE MIGHTY ME WILL BE THE BIGGEST AND THICKEST!”
“I await the day when wormy gets to his maximum girth!”
“…Seriously, did Beatrix write this part too?”
“Uhmm…Captain, I wrote that part,” Debra shyly answered.
The entire crew was silent.
“L-let’s go back to listening.”
“SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHY DO YOU CALL THE MIGHTY I ‘WORMY’?”
“Silly butt, that’s because you’re a giant worm!”
“THE GREAT I AM A DRAGON, NOT A WORM!”
“But worms are good too! They are all slimy and wiggly *giggles*~”
“I-I can’t keep listening to this. My sanity is at stake,” I finally said. My crew quickly agreed.
“Jobs, get the robot to lure the worm away.”
“Got it, Capt.”
“Hey wormy, wanna go to a more quiet part of the cave and have some ‘fun’? Teehee,”
“God dammit Jobs, never let Beatrix write lines for you again,” I sighed. “I’m seriously worried it might ruin our reputation.”
“What reputation?” Egg chided.
The worm dragon eagerly followed the automaton. Soon enough, the cave started shaking this time, but for a different reason.
“Let’s just hurry and enter that hole in the root.”
With the worm gone, the miasma followed with it.
We rolling the Sinclair Jr. carefully towards the hole and peered down.
“It really is a stream of water in the root.”
“Hurry, let’s go before the worm finishes.”
The ship was dropped into the water and we followed the current up to the root.
“Oh by the way, where’s Beatrix?” I finally asked.
“Oh, she didn’t tell you, Captain?” Jobs replied. “She said she wanted to fight the worm so she hid inside the automaton.”
“Then that shaking was…”
“Yea, Beatrix probably fighting the worm right now. What did you think it was?”
“…Go Egg, just go.”
______
Meanwhile, in the cave where Beatrix was fighting Nidhogg, a certain pirate showed up.
“Haha! It is I! The great Captain Edgar Stilton! You have fallen for my trap Charles!”
“Charles isn’t here,” Beatrix chuckled.
“FOOLISH MORTAL, DID YOU THINK THESE FELLOWS WILL HELP YOU!”
It seemed Nidhogg confused Stilton’s crew as Beatrix’s support.
“DIE!”
With a swing of its long tail, Stilton and his ship were blasted out of the cave.
“DAMN YOU CHARLES BRIE!” he yelled mid-flight.
“I told you, idiots, he isn’t here!” Beatrix couldn’t help but sigh.
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