The opposing team launched their attack on Val with no hesitation. From the backline, a mage hurled several Waterbullet spells in Val’s direction.

Three seconds on Timelapse’s cooldown!

Val flattened himself on the forest floor, letting the Waterbullets fly over his head and detonate into the opposing team’s Benny the Bear. Before Val could taunt the opposing team, Ryusuke the Ninja teleported in front of him, slashing a pair of daggers across his torso.

Timelapse!

Time slowed as the blades screeched over the steel armor protecting Val’s chest. Gritting his teeth, Val leaned backwards as hard as he could, flailing his arms to maintain balance.

Ryusuke the Ninja tipped forward with the momentum of his attack, leaving his back unguarded for a second. Val lunged forth and plunged his Dragonbone Longsword into Ryusuke’s back, knocking the ninja’s health down to a critical level. Before Val could deal the finishing blow, several more Waterbullets flew towards him, giving Ryusuke enough time to dash away into the shadows of the trees.

Cursing his bad luck, Val whirled around to protect his own exposed back, coming face to face with a half-health Benny the Bear.

Five second cooldown!

Val leaped backwards, using his sword as a defense against the rabid claws Benny threw at him. Alas, a sword was not made for defense, leaving Val with 63 heath after the attack.

Three second cooldown!

Val ducked a swipe by Benny and hacked at the bear’s exposed arm, dealing around 10 damage.

Two second cooldown!

Benny activated Rampage, letting loose an earsplitting roar. Dropping to all fours, Benny pounced at Val, extending his arms to wrap Val in a hug of death.

One second cooldown!

Val hopped back once more, trying to distance himself from the raging monster. As he landed, Val’s mouth twisted into a sneer. Timelapse was up again, meaning that it was over for this monstrosity of a mammal. In that moment, Val’s character tripped over a fallen log, collapsing on the ground in a pile of steel armor.

Oh shoot…

Benny the Bear landed right on top of Val and pummeled him with his claws, tearing Val’s character to bits and pieces along with his hopes and dreams. The screen before him flashed black with the word “Defeat,” reminding Val of his godforsaken luck.

Val tore off the headset and contemplated throwing it on the ground, halting when he realized that an angry Elle was perhaps the scariest thing in the world. Definitely top three. Instead, Val took his anger out on his empty backpack, kicking it as hard as he could against the wall of the glass booth while releasing an explosive expletive from his mouth.

As the backpack hit the wall of the booth, Val noticed a man standing at the door, knocking incessantly and waving his arms to get his attention. Val’s eyes widened in wonder as he contemplated the sight before him.

“Barack Obama?”