I made my way up the half-decent ladder; glad that a monstrosity of the world had been destroyed. I wanted to burn the entire village to give it an extra cleaning of fire, but decided against it since that would be more effort than it was worth. The abomination had already been destroyed.

I closed the trapdoor behind me and put the disgusting carpet back over it. It was nature's problem now. Plants and animals would retake this land until the basement was like any other crevice; filled with spiders and shit.

I Picked up a smiling Turtley and his new little friend. He hadn't stopped smiling since our little confrontation. I didn't know that I could see a turtle smile as wide as he was.

Does he think he won? He did get me to stop...but that was because... ok. Maybe he won a little bit.

I put the two reptilian passengers onto my head and went to go find Jane and Allen. The structure only had a few rooms, so it was very easy to find them. Jane was helping grab a bunch of clothes from his drawers and stuffing them into a hiking pack.

The room was sparse, only having a few decorations like some dried flowers or a poorly scribbled painting that looked like it was done by a toddler using mud. Looking closer, it actually WAS mud.

I knew that Allen had lived here his whole life, so I was expecting a bit more. I guess village life in what was essentially the middle ages, as well as a sacrificial atmosphere, didn't really foster much materialism.

Allen only had three pairs of clothes, miles better than what Jane and I had. My shirt was now torn and charred a bit, exposing my glorious pecs... I mean my healing wounds. Yeah, healing wounds. I would need to ransack a good shirt, but not from here. I had morals.

The shirts of turtle killers are tainted.

I wouldn't put on those shirts even if it netted me a million gold. It was even less likely now that we basically didn't have any way to spend it. We'd all be in the badlands for the rest of our lives. We needed turtles and nothing else.

I tried clapping to get their attention, but they were still just packing little things. This was going to get annoying fast. Ruptured eardrums took about a week to heal. I tried to touch my pendant to their skin while they weren't looking and got no response.

Is it bonded with me? Or do they need to wear it for the effects?

I tried to take off the necklace, but a repulsive force prevented me. It was like trying to squish the wrong ends of magnets together. The necklace wasn't able to move a single millimeter past my chin.

I struggled with all my might, and got nowhere. The necklace was a permanent addition to my body.

Just great; why does this magic shit not have a warning manual?

No need to cry over spilled milk. The necklace wasn't immediately harmful, so it didn't matter in the end. It was more of an annoyance than it was a problem.

To get their attention, I just slapped Jane and Allen on their shoulders and got them to spin around. I tried to make the hand signs for 'wrap it up', but my charade skill was clearly not as advance as Turtley's. I had no clue how he did it; he didn't even have fingers!

Just goes to show how amazing turtles are. They are great for charades at parties.

Once the two were done packing, we now had four backpacks. One full that I would carry, two empty that Jane would carry, and Allen's annoyingly well-packed bag. I watched him fit three pairs of clothes, a jacket, two pairs of shoes, and a blanket all into his modest-sized bag.

I was never able to pack that well. The most I could fit in my backpack while camping was a tarp and some rope. Extra clothes never even passed through my train of thought. That was a rough summer camp; wearing the same pair of socks for a week straight.

I've seen corpses with better feet than after 10-year-old me at summer camp. Live and learn; not like I really learned anything not already blatantly obvious.

I was using the sun to orient ourselves when Allen stepped forward and started to yell loudly since his hearing was still shot.

"I KNOW THE WAY TO THE BADLANDS! JUST FOLLOW ME!"

I was over the moon. He was willing to help us find the turtles? I could hear a few organs hooting and hollering at the bets they won. Mr left kidney was the biggest loser with a massive 6-liters of water bet against Mr right kidney's 6-liter bet.

Looks like my right kidney will be functioning a bit better for the next day and a half.

Allen started to march towards the forest. His stride was strong and confident, he had lived in these lands for 16 years; he clearly knew his way around them. He would never admit to me that he learned the badlands' location from the turtle trappers of the village. I would have made us turn around and go back to burn the bodies of those trappers.

We stepped through the thick foliage. The boundary between village and forest was stark. Everything was immaculately maintained and groomed to near perfection. I guess there wasn't a whole lot to do when you were without internet in the middle of nowhere for years at a time.

The moment we passed through the boundary, I felt the air change. It used to be slightly cooler and a bit dry, but inside the forest, everything became hot and humid. It was like we went from a suburb to the rainforest.

I checked out the boundary a few times, feeling this strange...feeling, at the boundary. It was like a film had been passed, letting us into this strange bubble of plant life.

The worst part about the whole experience was that now the insect population skyrocketed. I didn't mind ants and centipedes and arachnids, but FUCKING MOSQUITOES. Were they on every planet!? Did evolution really just say, "Hey, ya know what would be funny? Some more mosquitoes. What a gutbuster. Don't you get the joke? Why are you getting angry? It's just a prank bro, just a prank."

And then it put the mosquitoes in anyways.

My pendant healed the inflammation from the bites, but not the phycological aspect of the bites. Hearing the buzz right in your ear, and then *thwack* missing the mosquito, only to find a red lump on your leg. Horrible.

I resigned myself to endless suffering while walking behind the completely unaffected idiot. Allen was walking through clouds of bugs like it was a normal thing. Jane was in the same boat as I, debilitated by the sheer quantity of bugs in this forest. The outside world couldn't hold a candle to the number of bugs here.

Allen was just used to the everpresent insects of doom; used to the unnoticeable sting of inflaming scratchiness. I did a quick prayer to the Turtle Almighty to protect Jane on our journey through this wretched forest.

After a few hours, I rescinded my prayer. My mind could only care about the insects for so long before it got physically tiring to care. They bit me and then left, biting Jane, and then leaving. It became a fact of life, and we just accepted it. We reached the same zen state that Allen was in.

I walked through an entire could of them, completely unfazed. I was sharpening my survival mind even further, polishing the blade that had been dulled by air-conditioned, bug-proof houses.

The sun eventually dipped below the horizon and forced us to stop for the night. I was still hoping to get my hands on something like a flashlight, but there wasn't a point. The nights here were pitch-black, unnavigable.

The ground was covered in length grass, housing many insects that crawled and bit their fill all over my body. *Breath in, breathe out* Zen. Aaaaaaan sleep.

On command, I had Mr. Brain shut down all non-essential functions and let myself go completely limp. The cold embrace of pain and suffering once again filled my nightmares.

It is gonna be a long night.

---------

I laid my shell on the soft grass and checked on my new friend. He was a lizard, a bright red, slightly glowing lizard. I named him Darius. He looked like a good Darius. He would make a fantastic Darius. Especially when he was all human looking

Definitely a Darius.

It was just such a good bad guy name, evoking a plotting man in a cape, sitting on a throne of skulls. He would wave his left hand to capture the princess, and wave his right hand to order an execution; all while barely moving a maniacal muscle.

He was the first friend my size, and a brother no less, so I would try my hardest to get him to wake up. He was still resting on my back. I didn't mind, he was lighter than a feather. His body was slippery and soft, like the most elegant lizard.

I wonder how he did that fire stuff. I want water cannons coming out of my shell!

Alas, my dream would only remain a dream. I was not meant for cannon-fitting, I was just a turtle.

The night was pleasant, filled with glowing light and a voice calling for me. I didn't care much for chasing it, so I sat down and imagined what hanging out with a lizard would be like. We would be the bestest friends...

The voice in my dream got louder. It demanded my attention, but I didn't want to give it. My dreams, my rules. I knew there was no one else in here except for me, so I just enjoyed sleep while the voice continued to cry out for me; whispering for me to get closer to it.

The night was short, and I woke up with the first rays of sunlight. They struck the back of my shell, warming my body up. I was getting cold from lying on the grass all night; I preferred Max's chest. He was the best warm rock to rest on.

I was so excited to start my day. Yet again another day of travel with my bestest friends in the world. I nudged Darius to try and wake him up, but he just continued to sleep. His chest was slowly going up and down, letting me know that he was at least alive.

Max jolted awake like he always does. I never wake up like that; maybe it was just a Max thing...

Jane and Allen both groggily regained consciousness as well. The whole gang had made it through the night. The sun was shining, the tank was clean... the tank was clean?

We were definitely still in the same forest, but now four glass walls were surrounding us. The glass was so clear that I wouldn't have seen it if not for the smudges left behind by birds ramming themselves into it too. In the morning sunlight, the accumulated smudges made the whole cube clearly visible.

The walls seemed to go all the way to the sky, reaching the clouds above. What was the point of such a ridiculous structure? Though there was a far more important question tickling my reptilian brain.

How did we even get in here if there are four walls around us?

I seemed to be the first to notice this new addition to the forest. Max stood up and went to go pee behind a tree, but slammed right into the wall, crushing his morning wood on the barrier.

His reaction was almost immediate, "FUCK! What the hell! What is this?"

He rubbed his bent flagpole while looking at the glassy wall. I crawled over to his leg and bopped my head on it. His attention switched from the barrier to me. He cast his sparkling eyes over my small form and smiled.

"Sorry about that little buddy. I was caught a bit by surprise; it's too early for shit like this."

He sat down against the barrier and placed me on his knee. I hid my best to balance on the small surface; finding a good enough balance. I checked on Darius, making sure he wouldn't slip off either.

All passengers secure; SS. Turtley The 18th, ready to set sail.

And by setting sail, I meant me just balancing on Max's knee while he rested his head on the barrier. He was calm about it, both similar and dissimilar to how he usually acted. He usually would start getting angry that we were delayed in our quest for the promised land.

Instead, he was tranquil, like he was in a trance. I couldn't put my arm on it, but he was definitely acting strange. I wanted to ask him about it, but turtles can't talk. The best I could do was tapping his leg with my tail to get his attention and earn a reprieve from my balancing act.

He was kind and gentle with me, "What is it?"

With my arms free, I was able to point at Jane and Allen and then gesturing to my head.

"Put our heads together? You think they would be any help with a massive sky-bound glass cube prison?"

I shrugged, or the best I could shrug without human shoulders.

"*Sigh* Ok. Maybe. Just maybe."

Max stood up and placed me on my rightful throne, his hair. It was not too oily, but not too dry. It was an amazing spot for me to rest on. The soft vibrations that ran through my body as he spoke always relaxed my mind even further.

This is the life. I've got Max to stop murdering people for the moment, I have some new friends, AND I have a wonderful spot to rest on. What more could I possibly need?

My stomach gurgled.

Maybe some leaves to eat.

Before I could signal my request for food, Max was already talking with Jane and Allen about the predicament they were in. He was calm about it the whole time while it was the other two that started to freak out.

A single slap from Max brought both of them back to reality, calming them down greatly. He was frighteningly good at getting other people to calm down with a slap. I would say it was magic, but we had already seen what REAL magic was, so the comparison was moot.

He started to talk some more with them, I wasn't really listening. The call of my stomach was demanding some sustenance. The leaves on the trees looked especially delectable. They were massive and green and looked so damn tasty.

I noticed that the branch that the leaves came off of was poking through the barrier, letting the leafy branch inside. I would bring up that important point in a bit.

I need me some of those leaves.