《The Beautiful People》34. Jimbo
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Sitting on the pier with Mr. Parsons was an ideal place for me to be, especially if I wanted to take advantage of this budding friendship. The more her boss got along with me, the more likely Parsons would choose Rachel for the job. The fish however were not being very co-operative, and while I could likely catch more than enough for us all, I didn't want to show up the boss and waited for him to get a few nibbles before kicking things up a notch.
"Don't take is so personally, Sir." I said, trying to not make a big deal of it.
"Tell that to your stomach tonight," Mr. Parsons countered.
"Smart man like you," I added, "There's no way you don't have a backup in place."
"It's just more fun to catch your supper," Mr. Parsons said in protest.
"It is," I concurred, "But fish are like women, sometimes they're just unwilling to cooperate. And there's no reason to their behavior, so it's It's not anyone's fault. The fish are just not that hungry today."
"I suppose," Mr. Parsons agreed, "If they're not biting, they're just not biting."
"So what's the backup?" I asked the bossman.
"We have some pretty good steaks in the fridge," Parsons informed me, "few baked potatoes and veggies that the wife is already chopping up."
"You see, no pressure," I said as I cast a line back in, "Fishing tends to be easier when we don't pressure ourselves as much."
After another half hour of no bites, Mr. parsons patience finally wore out and we ended this unsuccessful attempt to catch our own dinner. As we walked back to the campsite with no bucket or bounty to offer the ladies, Mrs. Parsons didn't seem upset nor surprised by the outcome.
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"It's alright, dear." she said to her husband, "I already took the steaks out to defrost, they'll be ready to grill very soon."
"You wanna help with the grilling, Jim?" Mr. Parsons asked, as both he and his wife looked over at me.
I was tempted to say no, but I could tell this was more of a plea for help rather than someone trying to be polite. If Parsons cooked as badly as he fished, there was no way in hell I wanted him touching my steak, or it would end up being as dark as a hockey puck.
"Sure," I said to him, smiling back. "I'd love to help. I just need to take a leak, first."
"Actually, you'll have to wait." Mrs. Parsons said, "I think Angie is in the bathroom right now."
"That's alright," I said, "I'm a man, which means the world is my urinal. I'll go over there and find a nice bush to water. I'll be right back."
As I was strolling towards the wooded area where I would relieve myself, I could see Rachel and Nicholas talking by the fire pit.
"Did you guys catch anything?" Nic asked.
"Not a damn thing," I called back, "We're having steaks instead. I'll be right back, I gotta pee."
"Thanks for sharing that," Rachel called out, amused as ever.
"You're welcome," I sarcastically called out.
I strolled into the wood, but didn't stop right away. The last thing I needed was nosy bitches like Angie coming out to see what I was doing. I walked for at least two minutes away from the came and made sure I had plenty of cover to do my thing. I made a last minute scan around before unzipping my trousers and taking out my thang to drain the main vein. It took me a few seconds to relax enough to release but once I started, I had a good stream going and was feeling so much better. I had that kind of bliss that would clear someone's head, the kind each man has before that piss shiver comes to let you know that your urinating was almost done. I took a moment to shake my thang before putting it away. As I was zipping up, I could hear something behind me as there was a rustling of leaves.
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"I swear woman," I said, turning around, "You have the patience of a dead horse, I told you..."
I stopped mid-sentence when I realized that the person I was addressing wasn't my impatient other half. The thing being addressed wasn't even human. I stood there like a statue and took low, quiet breaths as the cougar slowly approached me. I didn't know what kind of wildlife was in this part of the state, and I didn't feel the need to look it up because I had assume everyone would be inside the cabin all weekend, but here I was... face to face with one big, angry kitty.
"Now hold on," I said to it in a calm voice. "I don't know what you're thinking, but you don't want to have none of this."
While part of me realizes the cougar likely never understood a word of what I was saying, another part of me thought the cougar didn't give a shit and was eager to take a bit out of my ass and make things a tad difficult. I really didn't want thing to escalate but the cat wasn't in the mood to live and let live... at least not from my perspective.
"Come on, man!" I said, speaking to the cat again. "I guarantee you will fucking regret it."
The cougar kept walking closer to me, even growling a bit as it did so. As the kitty got even closer, I realized there was no reasoning with the predator.
"Don't try it," I said, giving the beast it's final warning. "Last chance, bucko."
It was at this point where the cat started to run up to me, clearly making his intentions known. Unfortunately the cougar didn't notice that I was hiding something behind my back, and it took only seconds to pull the item out and point it at the large cat that was attacking. Seconds later came a sound that startled everyone at camp.
BANG!!!
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