《The Beautiful People》37. Mr. Parsons
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As the sun started to make it's way behind the mountains, the campfire's glow gave the tents and trailer look more homely then they looked when we first arrived. When the shroud of darkness finally fell, any kind of shelter starts to look more appealing. I took the food from my wife and started to grill up the steaks and put on the baked potatoes. My wife and the ladies were making a nice salad to go with them, so dinner was nicely covered. This was going to be a rather pleasant meal, and since there were no vegans here I cooked away confident there would be no issues. While I was confident in my abilities, I wanted as many people to feel involved as possible. This was to be a shared experience to get to know everyone more, so I reached out to Jimbo as he was walking closer to me.
"You wanna help with the grilling, Jim?" I called out as he got closer to me.
"Sure," Jimbo called back as he appeared eager to assist. "I'd love to help. I just need to take a leak, first."
"Actually, you'll have to wait." I said to him, aware of something he didn't. "I think Angie is in the bathroom right now."
"That's alright," Jimbo replied as he was walking away from the camp, towards the wooded area. "I'm a man, which means the world is my urinal. I'll go over there and find a nice bush to water. I'll be right back."
"Sounds good," I called out, as I watched Jimbo disappear into the trees to become one with nature, which was about to be come his urinal. I couldn't help but feel amused by it all. Jimbo wasn't the kind of guy many in my circle could see me hanging out with, but we had a lot more in common than I did with them.
"Honey," My wife called out. "Where's he going?"
"He had to pee," I informed her, "And he didn't appear to be willing to wait."
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"How is the food coming?" she then asked me.
"I just got started," I replied, "Should take another ten to fifteen minutes. Is that alright?"
"That's perfect," My wife acknowledged. "We'll be ready around then as well."
"Alright, good plan." I said, as I gingerly flipped the steaks. The potatoes were just nestled away from the open flame but close enough that they were cooking rather nicely in their tin foil blankets with care. I was patiently waiting for Jimbo to return from watering the woods when a loud sound came from that very direction.
BAM!
The sound rang out without warning that I shook from it right beside the grill. It had been so long since I heard that sound that at first I didn't believe it. That was until I heard it again.
BAM! BAM!! BAM!!!
At this point everyone at the camp site was a little freaked out and even scared.
BAM!!!
"What the fuck was that?" Mrs. Parsons called out.
"That was gunfire," Nicholas said, getting out of his chair.
"Where's Jimbo?" Rachel called out.
"Nic," I said, reaching out the tongs to him, "Watch the food. I'm going to check it out."
"Alright, Boss." Nicholas said, as it seemed he wasn't eager to go anywhere. He appeared very happy with the task being assigned to him.
My wife looked worried and had a look that forbid me to investigate but I ignored it as I walked into the woods through the same spot that Jimbo has used to go out to pee. After walking a few minutes, I spotting Jimbo and started to run up to him. As I got closer, I noticed that Jimbo was holding a gun. It was obvious that he was the source of the gunfire.
"Jim!" I called out as I got closer. "What is going on?"
"Sorry, David." Jimbo said, checking his handgun. "This was an act of self defense."
"Really?" I said, eager to know more. "Defense from what?"
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"From this fella," Jimbo said, pointing in a general direction.
I followed Jimbo towards it, and lying on the ground dead from a few fatal gunshot wounds was a cougar. The animal had a few bullets in it's torso, and one last one in its head.
"Damn," I said looking down at the dead animal.
"Sorry about that, Sir." Jimbo repeated, as he didn't' want to shoot it.
"You shot a cougar!" I said, more surprised than shocked. I was more surprised that there were cougars in the area, let alone roaming around the campsite.
"He attacked me while I was trying to pee," Jimbo replied, "The bastard tried to sneak up on me while my back was turned. What was I supposed to do? Use harsh language?"
It was moments later when my wife and the other ladies through the trees to see what was going on. Most of them gasped with horror when they saw the big cat lying on ground that had blood all over it. All the women turned to look a Jimbo who was still holding the smoking gun in his right hand.
"Seriously?" Jimbo said, when he saw their gazes. "If I didn't shoot this bugger, he would have been having me for supper tonight. I will not apologize for defending myself."
Rachel was the first to respond and she walked up to hug her fiance.
"I'm sorry," she said squeezing him with her arm. "I'm glad that you're safe."
"Still," Angie said, looking down a the carcass. "Nice shooting."
"Thanks," Jimbo said, putting his gun away. "I didn't want to do it. I even warned the bastard a few times. He just came at me. He must have been pretty hungry to be desperate enough to go after one of us."
"That's what I was thinking too," I admitted, "They usually don't get to close to the camps unless they're starved and have no other choice."
"So, what do we do with it?" Angie asked.
"We take it back to camp," I said, turning to face my wife. "Get one of the blankets, an old ratty one you don't mind getting rid of."
"What for?" My wife asked, rather repulsed by the idea.
"We can't leave it here," I said to her.
"He's right," Jimbo concurred, "We leave it here and other animals will come to eat it and that could cause more problems for us rather than less."
"I'll call animal control in the morning," I added, "They'll come and take it away. They're used to taking care of situations like this."
"Let's go camping," My wife said, giving me a hard stare. "It will be fun, right?"
"It has been fun so far!" I retorted, "Full of surprises."
I watched as my wife and the two ladies with her walked away and back towards the campsite with both Jimbo and I watching as they left.
"We're in trouble, aren't we?" Jimbo asked.
"We sure are," I agreed, "So much trouble."
"Sorry about that, Sir." Jimbo repeated.
"Don't be," I said to him, looking back at the cougar on the ground. "It was attacking you. If you didn't shoot it, you'd be off for the hospital, or worse being dragged back for many cats to eat you whole. You made the right call."
"And yet we're still in trouble," Jimbo added. "How is that fair?"
"With women nothing is ever fair," I said to Jimbo, "No matter what happens you're screwed. So if she's gonna get mad anyway, make sure she is mad at you for the right reasons."
"Amen to that," Jimbo said, "Let's get this thing back to camp."
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