《This Is Where I Want To Be》Every Day You are Away
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84. Every Day You are Away
Marcus
The morning after we returned from interplanetary travel, my laptop had a few million emails. Over exaggerating but it felt like it. One stood out though.
Subject: Thought you should see this.
Attachment. I clicked on it.
It was a video. Louis and Juliet speaking in France at the dining room table. My defenses went up.
Juliet [“I’m so sorry, Louis… When I asked you to cover Marcus on me, I thought I’d be free of him.”]
My first reaction was jealousy. Did she want to be free of me? Did she think the one would remove the other? No, she said “add” that one night in the club… What was going on?
The video cut out and started again.
[I’m scared of Marcus Juliet. It’s not that there is no space for you there… It’s because… I know he won’t choose you…]
The second reaction was hurt. How could he say that? After everything.
I played the next one…
It’s Louis in his room. No one was there, but I heard Juliet’s voice clearly.
Juliet [“I gotta go… But one last thing… My answer to your question on the boat. About why I think this is a stuff-up… I feel that way… because if I had to choose… I will always and forever choose you… Not Marcus and Not Chris and Not Michael or whoever comes into my life...”]
“F-!” I picked up something and threw it at the wall.
The third reaction was anger. But it was stupid. We all knew her choice would always be Louis. When that thought ran through my mind, I had to make the choice again. Like every day, my demons told me to let her go. She didn’t need me.
But I had to talk to myself. I promised myself I would never leave her again. Even at the cages, she asked why I didn’t come for her….
I swore. Muttering to my mind fighting.
***
I ran down the hall to Carl’s room. Knocking loudly.
He opened the door. I pushed past him. “What happened… Why are we back at the compound? Is it for Juliet’s treatment?” Carl shook his head slowly from side to side. I wanted to murder someone. I swore even louder. I fisted the wall and made a dent, biting my teeth together.
“Your phone? Quickly. Call Louis.”
“I still can’t. I keep on trying. Nothing. I still haven’t heard anything from Kubra or Charlene either.”
“I forgot Kubra went to Charlene… S-! They haven’t come back yet!” Nervously my hand scratched the back of my head.
“Juliet went for Miné, Marcus. Qadir and Sita were there in France a few days before you and Chris came back. He threatened us with her life to get you back at the compound.” I walked to the mini-fridge. Took out a drink and tossed him one.
“I have to think. I have to think. Why did no one say anything?” I glugged down the contents. The brown liquid burned the back of my throat.
“We weren’t allowed. All he wanted was you back. And… seeing all this. He needed you back. Marcus. Willing to do what he said.”
I scoffed. “You all forget. That my grandfather wants me back on En-gannim. F-!” I tossed the bottle at the wall. “What happened to the watcher's Carl. Is there any way to get to the compound right now?”
“I’m sure if you talk to my father.” I jumped up and walked to the next room. Knocking.
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Bertram opened the door. I pushed past him. Carl came in and closed the door behind us.
“I need to go back. Now. Tonight.”
“Marcus, you can’t. We haven’t even begun to negotiate or strategize. None of your people have eaten. Juliet has had no food.”
“I know! Who the hell cares about food? It’s been two weeks. I need to go. I’ll come right back. Give me an hour there. Where are all the watchers? What happened to the thousands of soldiers you’ve created?”
He scoffed. “Decommissioned. All of them. It’s a matter of Jabin hitting a button.” He can either switch it on or off. In the beginning, they didn’t care that we were monitoring all the kids being born… Learning how you guys worked… Now it just doesn’t matter.”
“Is there anyone that isn’t?”
“Kubra…”
I swore loudly. “We can’t get a hold of him.”
“Carl has been training but no teleporter. Jabin has one and Michael. He is still MIA, and so is Samuel.” I had forgotten about Michael and Samuel. It had been two more weeks… I couldn’t do it all. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Not like Louis.
“Part of the negotiations is the use of the tech. We have been getting used to being able to go somewhere instantly. Now that we haven’t for a few weeks… Qadir has us where he wants us.”
I sat down defeated on the couch. If I left. Fly commercial? Drive? It would take a whole day. Jabin would beat me to the punch.
“Do you have any numbers of anyone there? Where is all your information stored? Do you know why our communications are down?”
“War Marcus. The first thing to go… This will all be solved if we could get rid of Qadir. You should have left him in custody. Then you would have been in control.”
“Do you understand that we would leave? My grandfather would not allow me to play house here. All the scum would stay. All the people would have turned to monsters… You would be stuck. Everyone would suffer. No tech… No advantage…” I glanced at Carl. “Is that what you want?”
“We will be okay until you come back.” He tried to console.
“I don’t have time for this.” My heart was pounding. Something was wrong. Jabin was up to something. I had been so stupid. I promised to never leave her again. So focused on my father not hurting her that I forgot my grandfather would probably be worse.
If I got back and she had lost an arm. I groaned… her tongue. I’ll kill all of them. I walked back down the hall knocking on Jabin’s room. He opened. I pushed past him.
“Tell me, or I’ll kill you right now.”
“I have a job, Marcus. Have to get you back to En-gannim. Gave you the out two weeks ago. You didn’t take it.”
My stomach dropped. I think I snapped. I reached out for the steak knife on a plate and threw it at him. It went right through his throat.
Kubra’s face flashed in my mind. A regret. But I had to deal with that later. I crossed the room. He was falling to his knees. I stood hunched over him. “My strength is unpredictability, Jabin… My weakness is Juliet.” I pushed the knife right through his neck. Cutting up. Retracting the skin. My sharp black nails reached in and grabbed his spine crushing it.
The color drained from his face. His eyes rolled over in his head. Blood covered my hands. The older we got, the less we had. But I still had blood on my hands. I pushed him back off me. He fell onto the couch behind him.
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I went and sat down next to him. “What did they do to her?” If he was trying to drive a wedge between us, what did they make her believe?
Immediately I started searching the room. I found a few things. One was the teleporter device. The second was his laptop with all the recordings and what he sent Juliet and Louis. The voice manipulations and some of the conversation in France. It was weird and edited. The third was two black tubes. There was no time to figure it out.
I jumped up running back to Bertram’s room. Grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him down the hall. Carl was following. Bertram gasped, trying to move backward when he saw the mess. Carl pushed his father into the room closing the door.
“Here!” I pushed the device into his hands. Bertram didn’t even notice me holding it out to him. He took a moment. Carl grabbed it from me.
“Two weeks enough training, boy?” His father said, still trying to wrap his mind around Jabin’s dead body.
He nodded. “Yes sir.”
It was my first glimmer of hope.
***
Carl and I had made our way back to the embassy in Washington. It was just down the road from the white house. Both of us had free passes to come and go.
There was a corner in a room designated for teleporting. I was anxious. Tired of the people staring at me. Since my face was plastered on the news, everyone wanted a piece of me. I had been in so many interviews that I felt like I would scream. And all Louis and Liam saw was my posturing. I cringed at all my months of hard work, making everyone trust me. Maybe having Carl there… I was nervous. And for the first time, he took my hand in his.
I gripped tightly. “Will they forgive me?”
Carl smiled. “That’s not how this works, Marcus. You’re family no matter the mistakes you make…They love you. Of course they will.”
We traveled and we ended up across the country in an instant. It was a miracle and it alone had the most claim and financial gain in the galaxy. The vampires had done one thing right.
We ended up coming out, in a diner. It was just outside a small town a few miles away from the compound. When we appeared, the vampire sitting there lifted up an arm and held out a key to me. My heart still hadn’t stopped racing. We jumped in the car and sped out of there.
***
Chris
We had traveled for months at the slowest pace imaginable. I marvel at the fact that these people were even alive. Camping every night. It was getting colder and colder, and I knew why the white sleep sack for Caleb was needed. I had the exact same one there. But every time I put him in it… I was reminded of my two-week honeymoon. All I did was calculate the time. All I did was think about Juliet. Alone for two weeks on the compound. Where was she with her stages of grief? I was still in denial. I haven’t talked to my father yet, even though he and Silvanus stayed by my side. Not leaving me for a minute. Where did they think I would go?
***
One morning when I woke up, I took a walk and saw water for the first time. I went to stand at the edge. It was beautiful as the shadows of the buildings reflected on the water’s surface on the other side. There was a city in the distance. As far as you could look left and right. A wall surrounded all the buildings.
“Yaroun,” I whispered to myself.
My promise to Juliet to come to her as quickly as possible was out of the question. Her promise to me would never happen. We would never see each other again. I was of nature a skeptic person. A half-glass empty guy. So me trying to find a way didn’t come naturally to me. Marcus found Juliet in less than three years. On earth. Maybe with him by her side, they would get there eventually.
I was getting tired of being in Caleb’s company the whole time. I missed having a few hands to carry the burden with me. The big family. It wasn’t just Juliet. My father wanted to help but I had refused him since our last conversation.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew it was Ira. All I wanted to do was cry when he touched me. He did it. He caused it. My mother was dead and he didn’t even care. She was just the first girl he could get pregnant with. No one understood what I was going through.
“I’m sorry, Chris. Your grieving… But it’s been months.”
“How do you even know what you're talking about.”
“We do mourn. Our parents. Children… Is it any different?”
I snorted. But the quiver in my jaw must have told him that it was. He squeezed my shoulder. “Did I make a mistake? Should I have left you there? Pay every day to never meet my own son?”
I shook my head. He pulled me into his arms and held me. I was tired of being angry. Ira might not have had a choice with me. Bringing me there. But he deliberately took Caleb from Juliet and separated us, knowing there would never be a way for us to come together. I didn’t think I would ever forgive him for that.
***
Yaroon
We entered the city at the same pace. It took days for all the people in the convoy to settle. To fill all the houses. Like a child, I followed my father. We walked freely in between the people. There really was no separation between the classes or poverty. Or crime. Everyone was about their business. The streets were always full of people. Everyone was talking to someone. Families with children got houses in the middle of the city. At least four adults around a child at all times. Whenever I saw a child, I saw four grownups, wondering why they would let my mother go all alone.
Ira and Silvanus were with me as we moved through the streets. When it was our turn. He pointed to a part of town. “There is the market.”
“What am I supposed to do here?”
“Right now, you take care of Caleb. Children don’t leave home for a long time Chris. At least a hundred years. Other than that, we train. We do make sure we would be able to handle an attack. We have been invaded before. But no one has been able to deal with our… size.”
I wanted to ask how they got invaded. But I left that for another day.
“So if you like, I can show you the arena,” Silvanus said when we walked through a door into a hut. I looked around. It was simply made out of dried mud. That’s all they had.
It was sturdy with small windows. There was no wood, though.
“Farming?” They nodded. “Oh yes. You interested in that?”
“How does the market work if everyone is equal?”
“Trading”
“Everyone has a function and something they can trade that someone else needs. Even if it’s a skill. There are no owners. This house will go to another family once Caleb is grown. We would move further out of the city. Even our pubs are just open. I don’t know how to explain it to you. There is nothing but time here, Chris.”
He pointed me to a bed. “You can put him down there. You must be tired.”
“Not really.”
“Come.” I put Caleb down and he kept sleeping. The new nursemaid that had been following me since the goddess left… was quiet. I liked it. She put her stuff down in front of Caleb’s bed. She took out something from her sack that I had seen her busy with. But I don’t really attend and follow Silvanus down the corridor.
“This is my room, and this is Silvanus’s room.”
I frowned. My gaze traveled from one to the other. “Any gay people here. Anatomy still the same.”
They laughed, and the girl in Caleb’s room laughed.
“Like I said. Here you do what feels right. There really are no rules.”
“What feels right for who?” I questioned. “No raping.”
He shook his head. “No one needs to. It’s for Whoever wants to jump into your bed… I’m not really prime property. All the scars. So don’t worry about walking in on either me or Ira with someone.” Silvanus joked.
I scoffed.
“But you boy. Won’t have a problem with that… You got your mother’s looks… And you have that whole brooding, mysterious vibe going on.”
I laughed for the first time in months. They both gaped, seeing a positive emotion. They didn’t want to make it awkward and showed me the kitchen and where the bathroom was.
“Hmmm!” How does that work?
“A bucket and sand is your new friend and leaves.”
I shrugged. “The same as the road?”
He nodded. “We are very social here, Chris. There really is nothing else to do. I think that is the only thing you’ll have a problem with.”
“Books?” He shook his head. “Pen and paper?” Same gesture.
I breathed in and blew out the air. So I won’t be able to study to get back to Juliet.
“Alcohol?”
“Yes but in moderation. No one gets drunk here.” Juliet would hate the place.
“Smoking? Drugs?”
They laughed. “No. To maintain peace, we can’t allow it.
“Peace the number one rule.” I reminded myself.
We had sat down around a table outside. It was on a small porch that faced the street. Every now and again, someone would stop by. But everyone was in human form because it was easier.
Traveling with heavy loads. Riphath…. Living indoors. Human. The laidback attitude suited me. The days drifted into each other. And my depression had set in. For days I just sat staring at the stars in the sky.
***
Maya and I were in each other’s company, but we never spoke. I’ve had a hard time relating to anything yet. She was breastfeeding my kid but that was it.
When I sat with my knees up and Caleb in my lap playing with him like Juliet always did. Maya would stare at us. Busy with her work, but her eyes would dart up at me.
She thought I didn’t see, but I noticed that she was intrigued by the little things that weren’t like her world. She seemed inquisitive and very aware of her surroundings. Sensitive to Caleb and his cries. I liked her more than the goddess.
I had gotten used to seeing only pretty girls there. Personality soon became the only thing to separate one woman from another. Lookswise, they fell into my own made-up categories. I classified them under Russians crossed with Norwegians. Big faces. Big lips, big noses and big eyes. Long legs and blond hair.
The girl across from me fell into the second category. “Big breasts small body small face. Shorter than the Russians. Dark eyes. Brown hair, small nose and pretty lips. Easy smile. Friendly like Louis.
But no one’s eyes drew you in like Juliets’s. No one had that resting bitch face or the dimples when they smiled.
I laughed, thinking of her with her pants around her ankles in the dirt. That playful, goofy side would pull her eyes in five different directions. Stick out her tongue or love you to death in one giant breath.
There, no woman will ever love me. What a sad way of life. I had that with Sita minus the sex. It was the opposite. What were the chances? I would die for one real hug. After all the sex Juliet and I had the last month, I was on earth. I was going to have to cave. Or decide to stay celibate. I knew if I was going to sleep with someone. It was going to mean absolutely nothing. Just like Ashleigh.
The girl kept staring at me in confusion.
“Ask. We haven’t said one word to each other.”
She smiled too quickly. “Who are you thinking off. Caleb?”
Of course she would think it was my child. I shook my head. Ira and Silvanus were outside talking to everyone that walked past.
“Family?”
I shook my head.
“Then what?”
“A girl,” I said finally.
I didn’t want to. But before I knew it. I showed interest in what was going on in someone else’s life.
“What are you always working on?”
Maya’s eyes cast down at her hands. “Swatches.”
“Birth swatches?” She gestured to my upper arm. “How does that even work? How can you make it act supernatural?”
Her eyes drifted upwards for a bit, thinking how to explain it to me. “Every family has an emblem. A certain mark. If I work it on here and the woman’s family gives me their mark I also work it on the swatch. After that, it’s out of my hands. The extra marking that makes the tattoo pretty is whatever the couple asked for. It just goes with.”
“So you’re basically a tattoo artist without ink.”
“What is ink?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“But where does the power come from? Is it the tool you use?”
She examined the thing in her hand. It was thin and long as a pen. Sharp to pierce the material. “This was passed down from generation to generation. It’s made from a particular gem found only in one place on the planet.”
“My mom had a swatch that I left on earth. But it wasn’t a birth swatch. Ira’s picture wasn’t on there. What else do you make.”
A vertical line appeared between her eyes. She had to be much older than me. Almost Cindy’s age. “Your father didn’t use it to officiate your birth?”
I shook my head. “No tattoo on my ass…”
“That is strange. There are no other certificates on Zoreah except who your mother and father are for inbreeding purposes. Because kids are so limited.”
“How could you make one for a vampire?”
“Oh, every creature on the three planets has a family crest. We tried it. The fact that it worked was out of our control.”
Ira came in hearing what we were talking about. He gave Maya one shake of his head. I groaned, being treated like a child again. I would never tell Juliet to stop complaining about that again.
***
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