116. The Journal

Chris

I woke up from a nightmare, sitting up in bed, breathing deeply. It was only Caleb next to me. I had dreamt about Selena again. I had slept with her, and Juliet was in the car next to me, begging me not to… that she would give me everything I needed… But I did it anyway… and she was broken when she found out… Selena and I had only grown closer over the last few years. We spent every day together, and she was always there.

“I need Jamal to sleep with her so she can get out of my system,” I whispered into the darkness.

My five-year mark was a bad time. Coming to Shumaan was supposed to be a good day. Seeing Juliet or just at least getting a chance. Moving in the right direction. For those last few years, I had been distancing myself from Juliet. Trying to move on. Finally, getting used to the idea that I might never leave.

I got up and walked to Ira’s house. I went in. We haven’t spoken much. I was getting tired of being angry at him… Tired of fighting another temptation. The routine was getting to me, and I needed to do something. There was always something to do on earth… I sat down on the porch, watching the early risers moving past. It took some time for Ira to wake up. When he saw me, he came over.

He was regarding me… “The boredom is getting to you.”

I nodded. Rubbing one hand with the other. “I… have been dreaming about Selena.”

Ira sat down. He seemed concerned… He faced me… “It’s been seven years, Chris.” He didn’t need to tell me how long it’s been.

“Is there anything you can do… to help me?”

“Yeah… there is.”

I hoped it was a real solution. I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. Silvanus had woken up and came to sit next to us. Ira got up and came back with something in his hand. It was the little glass plate again. I remembered Silvanus telling me about the five spots Zoreah had… What did they want me to do with it.

“Take it. Go travel… Go see what the rest of Zoreah looks like… Be back exactly three years from now. So we can go back to Yaroon. There is no other place on the planet habitable in the winter.”

I took it from him, turning it around in my fingers. That’s what they wanted me to do. The summer years were the only time I would be able to. “Ira… We both know I can’t leave Zorea… Can you tell me… what the messages said.”

“I’ll tell you some of what they said… But not all of it. Your Juliet… challenged Ahasuerus to the throne. Through the brandings… she has the right.”

“That little girl kill the strongest man in the galaxy… Not even I would dare. What was she thinking?” Silvanus said.

My eyes cast to the floor. We all knew what she was thinking… Only a moment ago, it was an impossible thought that anything would happen, yet she was fighting for me. She also had someone standing in her way. I wanted to give up… I was tired. I couldn’t really be happy waiting. And I didn’t know how to cross that line… But she didn’t. Hers was firmly drawn in the sand. Juliet would do it or die trying… She would get to Zoreah, and I would’ve moved on. The worst was not knowing. If I could have the time and date, it would all happen… I would’ve been able to make a decision.

“Maybe when you get back, she’ll have taken over, and you’ll see her,” Silvanus said jokingly.

Ira didn’t like it… “I’m going to watch the fight,” Ira said softly.

I got a knot in my stomach. If he gave me all that information, what was he leaving out?

“Will you let me go with you?” I pleaded.

“No!” He was adamant.

“When?”

“30 April 2025… On earth. Three years from now.”

“That is exactly the day you came for me…. That is my ten-year mark. She would fight him, and if she wins, she will come?” I questioned.

“Mmmm…. Chris, there is something else… I had a meeting with Brylee and Ahasuerus on Palmyra. When you traveled back. That time when I left early.”

My nails dug into my hands. He was doing so much and left me out of everything.

“Brylee and Me will not let her kill him.” I wanted to move out of reflex. Sylvanus lifted his hand so Ira couldn’t see. Keeping me in place. “I won’t hurt her, but… He won’t die.”

I relaxed… “Because of me? The trade agreement?”

Ira nodded. But after seven years, I knew he was lying… there were other reasons.

“Go… Chris, nothing is going to happen in the next three years.”

I didn’t know why but… the words left my mouth before thinking about it. “You could come with me….”

Ira’s head jerked around, and he smiled. His eyes darted to Silvanus. “Shall we do it?”

The other eagerly nodded. “I have to say… I am getting a little bored myself.” The small man walked over and slapped me on the back. “Your growing up….”

All I had to do was get Jamal to sleep with Selena. Better yet, my father… If I waited for seven, I could wait for three more.

***

Our first site was not an eventful one. There was nothing. A mountain range in the distance. Sand, sand, and an altar… By the look on my father’s face, they didn’t build it… We all stood a step back, checking our surroundings. We teleported and did proper surveillance. Selena and Jamal were with us, and we were all fully geared up… It wasn’t like we were afraid, but it meant someone was there. Or had been. Caleb had come with us. He would always be with Silvanus.

“How do you monitor the five sites? And how could anyone survive out here in the winter?” I asked.

“The reason we are in Yaroon is for the water… If someone was here, they would have needed help.” Ira answered.

“I think we should stay for a while… Make sure.” Silvanus agreed with me and led us to a series of caves hidden away in a mountain range.

“Well, this is one way of surviving… Especially if you’re a vampire.” I suggested.

When we entered, we knew something was off… Plastic bottles of water. So many… It was weird seeing plastic again. But that was only a small cave. We entered the one next to it. There was a backpack and blankets and clothes… Ira picked up the bag and searched it. There was a place for a fire. Mountains of wood stacked. He took out a flashlight. “What the heck? What is this?”

“That is something from earth.” I took it from him. It was flat. He emptied the contents… It was camping gear… Everything you would need to survive on Mount Everest. Ira took our a pink A5 little book. I grabbed it from him. My immediate thought was that Juliet had actually been there.

“I have an idea what it is… I don’t think you should see it.”

Ira grabbed it out of my hand. “I can’t have you reading anything I haven’t checked.”

“Why do you want to keep me in the dark if I can’t do anything anyway? What could be so important that you would keep it from me?”

“If I tell you… You would hate me… Let me read it first!”

“Let’s first see if it is what I think it is….” Ira came to stand next to me, and when we opened the front, there was a collage of me… a whole page of photos. Cut out and pasted it together. Ones she took at the school secretly. Ones of me in France. One of me sleeping in a towel on my couch at my house. I smiled… I had always wondered what she did that whole day. Charlene and Carl posing with me… I missed them!

“It is obviously what you think it is,” Ira whispered.

“I can’t have you read it, Ira… It’s here for a reason. And you’re not that reason.”

“I am not having you find out any more secrets.”

“You’re just making it worse when I eventually, do find out!”

“Chris, you have an option… I read it first, and you get to read it after. Or neither of us does. And I burn it.”

“I will rather fight you for it. There is no freaking way you are treating me like some child. Give me the f… ing book Ira.”

He had balls. I got to give him that. He lifted his hand into the air like I was too short to get to it... I manifested and dove at him. Into his ribs and my shoulder made one crack. We were rolling in the dirt… That time Silvanus didn’t tell me I couldn’t fight my father.

***

We fought for hours. Riphath’s could go at it longer than any other species. Our lungs were huge. The solid bones and massive ribcages protected our organs. With our armor… we were just too strong.

During the fight, Ira tossed the journal to Silvanus. I didn’t want him to rip anything out… Every time I tried to intervene and get to the small man. Silvanus would give Jamal and Selena an order to stop me. It was the best time I had had in two years. Getting out all my frustrations. Fighting for something.

Silvanus never did rip out anything. But he did read it… Turning the last page, he cleared his throat. Ira lifted his hands in surrender. We stopped fighting, and Silvanus nodded at Ira. I walked over and grabbed the book.

“Some dark stuff in there… You sure you want to know what’s going on, what she went through.” His eyes gazed towards Ira’s. “It’s old, don’t worry, there is nothing in there.”

Ira nodded. “I am going to do something else for you, Chris… You have one chance… If you get my meaning.” I didn’t need to glance over my shoulder at what his eyes were fixed on. I knew where she was. I drew in a breath. He could read me like a book. My immediate answer was no. Once that happened, I would never. I had fallen a little in love with the goofy girl. Having her corrupted by my father… I couldn’t… I shook my head. My breathing ragged.

He stood back up taller and smiled so brightly. Silvanus was intrigued. They both fixed on the tall blond. Selena was playing with Caleb, oblivious of what was going on. Another reason I liked her. Her face was just a little bit softer than Juliet’s. My dreams… she was just different. Nicer… I smiled, thinking about Selena, and inwardly laughed at myself… I would have wanted Juliet just a little more pliable. Smoother around the edges.

Ira was so happy. “So we wouldn’t even need to drug you….”

I rolled my eyes. “How would that even work?”

Ira scoffed, and he ordered everyone out. They were going hunting, giving me the room… Caleb’s hand in Selena’s. My eyes traveled down to the journal. I was afraid of reading it. I gathered my wits and opened the first page.

She got Damian out of her system on the pages… It was hard… Her being violated… I grabbed my hair. Had to take a walk. Crying about her being hit and beaten. Marcus not being there.

I almost lost it reading about Louis… How he was changing and taking advantage of her.

Her letter to me…

Dear Chris…

Dear gentle Chris. Cute and soft. The total opposite of me. I miss you so much it hurts. I try not to think about you. But it’s a lie, I tell myself. Everywhere I go, I look for you. Wanting to catch you fantasizing about me. Watching me… Your eyes on me… Like at school. At least there I could see you every day. If I knew back then what I know now… You would have been in serious trouble. It would have happened… everywhere.

Our love wasn’t only written in the stars. I see you there every night. I look out into the sky. You are the sky full of stars. You were always my little light in the dark…

As you can see, I’m not having the best of times… But then I think neither of us is. No, none of us are. Hold on, Chris… I’m coming.

***

I broke down sobbing. On my knees, begging anyone to make the time go faster. Praying that there was just some joy for her. I was having a royal time. I was getting selfish. Sometimes, she didn’t even have one husband with her.

Some of the pages were taken out. Whoever left it didn’t want me to know either. I was again the last to know what was going on.

She was planning on practicing. Detailed exercise regime… but it wasn’t Marcus’s work. I was going to freaking ring his neck. Told us he would never leave her again. She asked him so many questions… But not once why he wasn’t coming back. “F-!”

The crowd came back just after I read the dark pages in the back. Michael might be dead already… I wouldn’t even know… That would break her in half. If someone that loyal to her had to die because of her.

I walked away. When they wanted to comfort me… Like I was dying. It felt like I was. I knew how it felt to be in love with two people. And she had a whole family to think about. Worry about. Four husbands to consider… She was so strong… How could I have wanted her to be softer?

***

Soren

I had not heard from Isla. Since she went to the camp… Messages were not forbidden but discouraged. The women needed to leave their houses and stand on their own feet. Especially if they were to be first wives. They needed to be firm to manage everyone.

I had been sending messages for months. All I got back was that it was denied. I was getting worried. The only one I could ask was the one guy that hated me. And Marcus wasn’t even on En-gannim anymore. I had not seen my family. Ian and I had taken over all of Marcus’s duties. It had kept me busy.

Every time I had a moment to sit, I thought of Isla. The only reason I came was for her. If I wasn’t going to do anything, I might as well go back. That was what I did. I got into the teleporter. We didn’t really need to send invitations anymore. If your destination was the compound, they really didn’t care. Jessy was so clued up that no one fell through the cracks there. He didn’t take responsibility for anything else happening.

I wanted to ask that day when I went with Ahasuerus. But I just couldn’t. Not with Marcus gone. If I approached them again. It would be above board. He was back, and they were settled. It was that day or never. When I came out on the compound. Jessy regarded me for a while. He waved me over. It was late at night, and I hoped they were still awake.