It’s been months since KC died now, and not a day goes by where I don’t think of her. She would have been a much better parent that I can ever be. Even when I stare into six month old Jonathan Homstov’s eyes, I see KC looking back at me. Sometimes this scares me, other times it keeps me going.

I packed enough food, bedding, supplies, and clothes into the back of the Bronco to fill it. There was a lot I had to leave behind, but I figure it’d be better for some poor soul roaming the wasteland to find. After lunch I packed Jonathan into the passenger seat, and took one last trip to KC’s grave.

“You tried your best better than anyone could have expected you too.” I said into the dirt below.

I left a fake bronze flower on top of the dirt before turning back to the car.

Getting into the driver seat, Jonathan started to cry. Without a moment’s hesitation I reached into the cup holder, pulling out a milk bottle and handing it to the baby. He drank it and quieted down.

I rolled down the windows and turned the car on, it roared like an old man, but it started. I backed the car up and headed out for the wasteland.

We’ve been driving down the road for the last four hours, and now I am finally taking a break. My plan is to head south for one of the old major cities in the search for supplies. The kid’s got to eat.

Sometimes a lot of the troubles I’ve dealt with still come back to haunt me. The raiders who would kill and eat Jonathan upon first sight, the Eternal Protectors of Beauland who would have us both tortured and shot, the people I will meet who will eventually die. Even Jonathan himself; by the time he becomes an old man I would have not aged a day.

These problems are essentially unsolvable. There is no way that I could single handedly bring down a fascist regime or psychotic raiders. That’s what we have to wait for The Great One for, apparently.

My point is that I’d spent my whole life thinking to myself that by roaming these wastelands I was facing these responsibilities head on, but in fact I’ve found myself to be running away from them. There are things in this world beyond my control, let alone my own comprehension. There are just some things we can never understand.

But I know my place now, I have a child. I will make sure nothing ever happens to him. Yes, that’s right, no more running away from fire fights or letting loved ones die. This time it’s with a child, my child. Now it’s time for me to face my problems to better keep this baby alive.

I’m not sure what kind of future lies for me out there, but for the sake of myself I know where I am going. I might not get there alive or in one piece but I know what path I lead and where the path will take me. What hides along the path is the true mystery.