From: Kamal E Y [email protected]>

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 1st November, 1999 01:49 PM

Subject: my lonely hours

Dear girl,

Today is a holiday for us. I came here to talk to you, you know, my lonely house in the new house is filling with you. In the lodge, there will be always some friends making noise every time, so it wasn't that lonely there. But here, now only one friend is there. While we sit there and read something, I feel like going to bed. I stay in my bed for long spells imagining you are there with me. Rolling over there both of us, arms in arms, kissing talking, smiling, tickling, feeling each other and finally culminating in making love. I remember the old stupid promise I made to you, so I don't masturbate thinking of you.

Today I saw that our old mails were not deleted. They are not in the Inbox. Somewhere else. I read some of your first mails. In the eighth mail, you told the magical words "I love you". But in the same mail, you told that it is better for us not to meet. It will better if we stay as we were there then. Lovers only on the net. I couldn't help thinking about how we have changed! When we first began writing, we might never have thought that we will come to this point, right?

When we talked, I heard your voice went sad and you wiping your nose. I knew your phone bill was high, but at that point, how can I leave you alone? You have to forgive me if I kept you too long on the line. I cannot touch your face through the phone, but maybe my words can soothe you. I was trying that. My little girl, you are too soft-hearted, it seems my shoulders will be wet always when we meet! Oooh, I have a lot of kissing to do!!!!

Tomorrow I will call you at your time around 9:30.

And if you ever write things like, "if something happens to me", I have to pinch your ear or maybe give a slap on your back. I don't want to contact anyone. OK? Why are you thinking this way? You surely will get a pinch from me.

It is bad, we have to cut our talks. The days when we talked for 2 hours, were great. As you said, sometimes we have to accept somethings, even if we don't like it, to make a better future...

Your

Kamal