From: Kamal E Y [email protected]>

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 17 November, 1999 10:17 PM

Subject: Where was I?

My honey,

It is 7 o'clock here. I am waiting for your call.

I thought about the Sunday incident again. It became clear to me that it was my fault, even though I couldn't access the internet that time. When I was not able to access your mails, I should have called you and told you that. But since it was Friday, I thought that this is OK, since I usually don't send emails on Sunday and I had told you that I won't be here on Saturday. But, even then, I should have called you. If this had happened on any other day than Friday, all these problems would not have happened. That time everything was against us.

But now I think, it has happened for our good. We became closer than ever after that. We talked about everything without any inhibition or false pride. We talk like real couples, about our everyday life and feelings. Our feelings for each other has intensified. Isn't it?

You asked me "where am I "when I got angry on Sunday. In fact, what I thought was, you had some other important things, or maybe you were thinking about the question I asked. So I thought you didn't want to call me. I decided to wait until Monday's mail. I never thought of leaving you alone. Leaving you alone means leaving myself alone. But I want to ask you when you said "it will be better if we mail each other forever", where was I? I know you tried to make me mad. I still don't understand that. Maybe you shifted your bad mood onto me. But instead of saying some bad words or scolding me, you touched the softest and the most vulnerable point of me. I am still afraid to read your Sunday's mail. I haven't read or deleted them. I promise I will delete them without reading. Or do you want to delete it yourself?

You know the id and password. Right now there will not be anything in it. But I think we have to use it soon since my account capacity on the other id is nearing its limit. For some more days, please send the mails to my office id too as well as the mailcity id. OK?

The word you wrote was "kibitzer". You wrote "kibitzer's comment". It should be in your Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday mails. Why I laughed yesterday? While telling you the spelling of kibitzer, I said "Z for Zebra". Then you asked me "what is Zebra?"!!! I couldn't help laughing. Now you too might be feeling funny, right?

Yes, all our tension is because we are far away. I won't know what you are doing, where you are, how you feel, etc. the same is for you too, I know. I can't keep worrying about you. Please allow me to worry. I know you will be a goooood girl, but still...I want to cuddle with you. To look into those eyes. To hear your murmur, purring whisper, all. You biting my ear...

This is 7:45 now. I am going to send this mail now. Otherwise, you may not able to read this mail today, OK? I had a lot to say yesterday. Somethings, I forgot, some became irrelevant. Anyway, I will continue in the next mail...

Yours only

Kamal