Yahoo Messenger: 16 April 2001 03:14 PM

Subject: If I don't hate you, how can I stop loving you

julietscity: hello

julietscity: good morning

julietscity: Can't you talk to me now?

romeobanglore: good morning

romeobanglore: I can

julietscity: Sorry, last night ... I was not here

romeobanglore: it was ok...I was not able to send or receive any mails yesterday

romeobanglore: your last mail, I got today morning

julietscity: May I help you? I know most of what I say to you might be useless ... It's me who made you like that.

romeobanglore: you have not done anything bad...I am the one to blame

julietscity: hey...

julietscity: sorry...I can't talk to you now

julietscity: I can't face your own blame right now.

romeobanglore: have you started to try for a job?

julietscity: not yet

romeobanglore: I have calmed down

julietscity: sorry

romeobanglore: or maybe I try to calm down

julietscity: If there is anything I can do for you... email me... if we talk to each other this way ... my heart can't stand it.

romeobanglore: start trying now

julietscity: no...I will wait...until May 7

julietscity: Try to hate me! This will be very helpful to your broken heart.

romeobanglore: no...we can't stay together within 3 months, I think...so

romeobanglore: it's not easy

romeobanglore: ok...nothing else...I don't have anything to write in the mail...so I will not send emails for some time

julietscity: yes... keeping distance is a good way to start

romeobanglore: ok...bye

julietscity: hmmm...

romeobanglore: I am also heartbroken...take care of yourself

julietscity: yes sir

romeobanglore: bye for now

romeobanglore: I can't stand this silence

julietscity: I can't help crying... it's easy to make a decision, but it's really hard to face it or touch it...

romeobanglore: I know

julietscity: No one hopes that things will go to such a predicament...but

romeobanglore: everything is not yet finished

julietscity: I just feel like... must do this, it will make a good life for each other someday.

romeobanglore: you feel, we have to finish

julietscity: It will end up like this in the end.

romeobanglore: ?

julietscity: No one is willing to embrace and live with a hopeless dream...

romeobanglore: maybe believe like that...if things change, we can be happy

julietscity: People must cheer up and look for other lifestyles or fight for the best.

romeobanglore: time does not wait for anyone...so have your way...I will try my way...

julietscity: yes sir

romeobanglore: and it doesn't mean that everything ends here

julietscity: so... I may not receive your email for a while?

julietscity: ok...

romeobanglore: maybe for 3-4 days...

julietscity: where are you going?

romeobanglore: maybe, I will write today itself, if I can't stand the silence

julietscity: are we still friends?

romeobanglore: I may go somewhere for some days

romeobanglore: for me, you are more

romeobanglore: anyway, let us think we are friends, for now,

julietscity: yes...sir

julietscity: You will always be my Sir.

julietscity: bye now

romeobanglore: no Sir, please

julietscity: yes

romeobanglore: ok...this is not our last chat or anything

romeobanglore: we'll see again

julietscity: ok... When you come back ... you'll email me, right?

romeobanglore: yes...maybe before that also

julietscity: ok

romeobanglore: maybe I'll not go anywhere...just take leave and be in house

julietscity: why don't you go home?

julietscity: When people are hurt ... home is the only place to heal wounds

romeobanglore: so, bye, for now,

julietscity: don't drink tooooooooo much

romeobanglore: I hate home

julietscity: now...you start to hate things

julietscity: can you tell me Ojas's mail address? I want him to take care of you...

romeobanglore: ok

romeobanglore: the home is the beginning point of the hurt

julietscity: When do you ask for leave? This afternoon?

romeobanglore: NO

romeobanglore: I have not decided...not today anyway

romeobanglore: people want me here.

julietscity: I also want you to be with other people ... don't stay alone in the house.

romeobanglore: it doesn't matter...it's the same

julietscity: Don't hurt yourself... please... I don't want to feel guilty

romeobanglore: you are not guilty of anything

julietscity: Let me help you... at least... let me do something for you

romeobanglore: good thing, you told me things openly

romeobanglore: there is nothing you could do

romeobanglore: don't hate me...even if you don't love me

julietscity: really? If you want me to do it now... I will promise you

romeobanglore: nothing

romeobanglore: yes...one thing...

julietscity: If I don't hate you, how can I stop loving you

romeobanglore: promise me one thing

julietscity: ok

romeobanglore: so it's a promise

julietscity: you tell

romeobanglore: whatever happens, in future, if I help you in some way, don't treat me as a stranger

julietscity: You have never been a stranger to me... I know all of you, how could we be strangers between us.

romeobanglore: this is the promise

julietscity: so...choose another promise

julietscity: I don't want your money

romeobanglore: only this I want

julietscity: I want you to have a good life ... I want you to enjoy a good position in your work ... I want you are still open to people...

julietscity: I want you still know how to love... I want you... but I can't have you.

julietscity: why can't I have you?

julietscity: why don't you belong to me?

julietscity: why can't you marry me?

julietscity: why can't you have children with me?

julietscity: why we are no longer lovers?

romeobanglore: I want to marry you, you know that

julietscity: why did you give up so quickly?

julietscity: but with regard to marriage, you have no right to decide

romeobanglore: and you know why I didn't promise anything

romeobanglore: I never gave it up...and I will not give it up...but I agreed to you because I don't want you to have any tension

julietscity: yes... at least, this decision is good for me... eventually, you understand... and forgive me...

romeobanglore: and I am not going to give it up...but you can have your way...one day if things change and you are here still...

julietscity: Don't say that... you gave me hope... you know I'll wait for

romeobanglore: I will continue to love you...that's what I said if in future I help you in some way, I want you to understand, I do it not for you, I do it for me

romeobanglore: you asked me why I gave it up...that's why I told that

julietscity: yes... for my best friend I have... helping each other is the only way between us...

romeobanglore: don't wait for me...my future is uncertain, even the things happening in the US changes my future

romeobanglore: it is so brittle and weak

romeobanglore: that's the only promise I want

julietscity: ok...see you in the future