“Alright, Lady,” I said. “It’s your turn to share.” The Lady in Sweatpants nodded. “Of course. There is much you need to know.” She opened her mouth to continue, then paused, cocking her head as if listening. Screams pierced the night. “What the hell?” Mike jumped out of his chair, scattering pizza boxes. He ran to the door, shotgun in hand. After a brief stare into the peephole, he threw the door open. We crowded in behind him, staring at the source of the screams. A woman in a sundress writhed on our lawn. Shadows swarmed over her. I guessed there were four or five of them, but I couldn’t be sure. Mike tossed the shotgun to Gina. “Kevin, light up. Burn any of those bastards that try to get in. Troll, grab some fire and back me up. Everyone else guard the Lady.” He lit a cigarette and picked up one of the sponge mops we’d put next to the door. I poured some gas in to the bucket next to it. He dunked the mop, then touched his lighter to it. It caught fire with a whoosh, burning his hand. Mike cursed, dropping his lighter, and pulled a cross out of his pocket. Troll didn't move. His eyes were wide. "Troll," Mike said again. "I thought you were bullshitting." The huge man stared at the Shadows. "You with me, man?" The woman was still screaming. Troll swallowed. "Yeah." Grimfaced, he lit a cigarette and picked up the second mop, dunked it, and touched it to Mike’s broom. The end blazed. “It’s a trap,” I warned them. “I know!” Mike yelled as he ran out the door. Troll followed. As soon as they’d cleared the entrance, Shadowbound came at them from both sides. Mike warded off the group on the right with his cross. Troll attacked the group on the left. He swung his mop with deceptive speed, setting two of them ablaze. Four others flowed around them, grabbing Troll and his torch. Mike jabbed at them with his mop torch. Troll hollered as three of them went up in flames. The fourth wrested his mop from him. I lit a cigarette. Troll flicked his smoke at the shadow that had his mop. It darted forward under the projectile. It snaked around Mike’s broom and struck him on the wrist with the burning end of the mop. Mike yelped and jerked his hand away. His cross and cigarette fell to the ground. The other Shadowbound surged forward as Mike dropped his cross. I was waiting for them. My cigarette sailed over his shoulder and passed through the center of the group. They wailed as flame engulfed them. Mike swung repeatedly at the mop wielding shadow. It parried and dodged, striking him in the ribs. He grunted, doubling over. Troll rushed the shadow from behind. His hands passed through it to close on the mop handle. They struggled for control of the weapon. Mike poked the thing with his mop torch and burned it away, scorching Troll in the process. Shadowbound scattered away from the woman as Mike charged forward, brandishing his blazing sponge mop. Troll backed him up with his own fiery cleaning utensil. They reached the woman and stood over her. Shadows circled them. Mike hauled the girl to her feet. “Get to the house!” he shouted. They ran for the door with the woman between them, fending off Shadowbound with their torches. Troll lost his mop. A particularly hard swing caused some of the gas to drip down the handle and burn his hand. He yelped and tossed the thing several feet away, ducking inside. Mike cursed, waving his mop, which also appeared to be dripping fire. He backed into the woman, who had stopped in front of the doorframe. “Jesus, lady!” he yelled. “What are you waiting for, an invi…” She smiled. “…tation…” His eyes went wide. ”Oh, shit.” She moved so fast I could barely see it. Pieces of Mike’s mop went flying as she pinned him to the wall by his throat. “Clever boy,” she cooed. “I am waiting for an invitation.” Her voice was music and honey. The accent was french. Her white floral sundress clung to the curves of her body. An obsidian necklace with some kind of twisty symbol hung above her cleavage. Her dark hair was mussed, but her skin was perfect. She leaned into him, rubbing against his body in a slow, sensual motion. She spoke softly in his ear. “Why don’t you be a sweet boy and let me in?” Troll took a step forward. She held her palm toward him, one finger raised. “Don’t be in such a hurry, darling. I’ll be playing with you soon enough.” She pressed closer to Mike. “I want to enjoy this one, first." She nuzzled her face against his chest. ” Mmm…So strong and brave.” She breathed deeply, smelling his skin. “My hero.” Mike gurgled something. His hands scrabbled at her hand on his throat. His face was purple. She looked up at him. “I’m sorry sweetie.” She smiled, loosening her grip. She cocked an eyebrow. “Did you have something to say?” “Jesus…” he gasped. “…loves you.” He pulled a second cross out from under his shirt. She leaped back from him, hissing. Her teeth lengthened, becoming fangs. Mike staggered sideways, gasping and coughing. Cross held out, he backed into the house. She crossed her arms and pouted. “Well,” she huffed. “Now that was just rude.” I noticed her irises had turned red, and were glowing. “You're the one that was getting handsy,” Mike croaked. “Didn't even buy me-" A coughing fit interrupted him. When he got his breath back, he tried again. "Didn't even buy me dinner.” "Silly boy," the woman gave a winsome smile. "You are dinner.” ” Mike didn’t say anything. He just stared. The woman stared back, maintaining eye contact. Her smile widened. “Mike?” I called. I put my hand over his eyes, blocking his view. He continued to stare forward, face going slack. That couldn’t be a good sign. I slapped him. He continued to stare. "Let me in," the woman commanded, voice soft. Before Mike could speak, I hit him as hard as I could. He came alive, grabbing my shirt and raising his fist. “Son of a…“ His eyes came into focus, and he let go. He swore. “Thanks Kev,” he said. He rubbed his jaw. "I think. Nobody look her in the eyes.” “She’s got eyes?” Troll asked. “Yes, Troll. She has eyes.” Stephanie dripped with sarcasm. “If you’d ogled your way up to her face, you’d know that.” “She has a face?” Stephanie sighed. “So now what?” Justin addressed the scary sundress woman. “You can’t come in, and we’re not coming out. I’d say we’re at an impasse.” “Would you?” She smiled, eyes red. “I’m not so sure. ” “Who are you?” I asked. I kept my eyes firmly centered on, well. Her necklace. Yeah. “My name is Madeline.” She dipped a curtsy. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all. It’s been decades since the last time a group of hunters escaped my darlings.” She walked closer to the doorway and held her hand out to me. “And you are?” “Kevin.” I backed up a pace. “No offense, but I don’t think I’ll shake hands.” ”Why not?” She smiled. “Don’t you want to be friends?” “Not enough to get pulled through the doorway.” “Aww.” Madeline pouted. “One of the smart ones.” She sighed. “I suppose we’ll get down to business. You have something I want.” She pointed at Lady. “Give her to me, and I’ll forgive what you did to my pets.” “And if we don’t?” “Then I’ll huff.” She took a deep breath, pushing out her, well. Her necklace. She let out a pleased mmm sound. I think she was trying for sensual, but the manic gleam in her eyes made it more disturbing than anything else. “And I’ll puff,“ A moan, another deep breath, then her face twisted in fury. Fangs appeared and her eyes glowed red. “And I’ll BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" Her voice rattled the walls. I flinched back, hands covering my ears. Her voice cut through anyway, still louder than a human should be able to yell. "What I do next will shatter the sanity of the poor soul who finds your bodies.” She smiled, eyes still glowing. “I almost hope you say no. You’ll be delightful to play with.” “Uh,” I decided to stall. “Can you give us a little time to talk it over?” “You mean can you stall me in the vain hope you’ll come up with an escape plan? How predictable.” She tsked. “But I’m feeling generous tonight. I’ll give you fifteen minutes. ” She reached in and grabbed the door. “And remember,” she said sweetly. “I’ll burn your house down.” She gave a smoldering red eyed smile as she closed it on us. Mike stared at the door. “Huh. A real live vampire. That’ll be a thing.” “Probably,” I said. I turned to Lady. “Is she as dangerous as she looks?” “Worse,” she said. “And worse still, she has power.” “No kidding.” Mike felt at his throat. “She was crazy strong.” “That’s not what I mean.” The blood had drained from her face, but she spoke calmly, expression smooth. “The Shadows do her bidding. She must have great power to bind so many to her will. She can probably do other things. Nastier things.” “Well that sucks,” Troll rumbled. “How do we kill her?” “Burning or beheading or sunlight. A wooden stake will work or not, depending on what kind of vampire she is.” “There’s more than one kind?” Stephanie asked. “There are many, many kinds. A holy symbol will hold her at bay, if held by a true believer.” “What about the sword?” I asked. “Does the sword melt vampires like it does those shadow things?” Lady shook her head. “The sword disrupts magical energy, but it will not sever the force that animates a vampire.” “It’ll still cut them, right?” “Yes.” “Ok, then. Here’s the plan.” Mike hefted the sword. “The cross works, and we’ve got a sword. We’ll use torches and cigarettes to keep those shadow bastards off our backs, and back the bitch up against the wall of the house with the cross. Then we’ll cut her fucking head off. Easy, right?” “You don’t understand,” she said. “She’s a vampire. She is faster, stronger. She could kill everyone in this room with bare hands alone, and she has great power over the minds of mortals. Her inability to enter uninvited is the only reason we are alive.” “That’s an advantage that won’t last long,” Justin said. “We’ll have to get out of here fast if she sets the house on fire.” “Yes,” Lady replied. “She will slaughter you as soon as you’re out in the open.” She took a deep breath, and her features took on a grim, determined expression. “There is no choice,” she said. “I will go with her.” “No way.” Mike declared. “I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself.” “She’ll probably kill us anyway.” I pointed out. “Maybe,” she conceded. “Not all vampires honor bargains. But surrender is your only chance. To fight a vampire in the dark is madness.” “Then it’s a good thing I’m pissed off,” Mike declared. “We’ll fight.” “Speak for yourself,” Troll rumbled. “If the sword lady wants to be stupid, I got no reason to stop her. Let her go if that’s what she wants.” “Over my dead body,” Mike bristled. “That can be arranged,” Troll rumbled. “Bring it.” Mike stepped towards him, fists clenched. “The police are on their way,” Gina interrupted. She walked back into the living room. I hadn’t noticed her leaving. “What?” Mike froze. “I called 911,” she said. “The police are coming.” Mike swore. “Call them back. Tell them to cancel.” “It’s too late,” She said. “They’ll be here any minute.” “Uh…Gina?” Justin asked. “What can the cops do about vampires? They’re not trained to deal with this kind of stuff.” “True,” Gina agreed. “But I don’t think Madeline will touch them. She probably wants to keep a low profile, right? So she’ll stay out of sight until they leave.” “Maybe,” Mike said. “Or maybe she’ll have them possessed by shadow monsters and send them in here after us. Even if she does back off, all this buys us is a little time.” “Exactly,” Gina looked smug. “A little time. A little time to get in our cars and drive away.” She turned to Lady. “We’ll talk to the cops. Then we’ll drive to a church and hang out until sunrise.” “What about the Shadowbound?” Stephanie asked. “What’s to stop them from coming after us?” “The same thing that stops the vampire,” I said. “Think about it. If the Shadowbound were able to come in here, they would have by now. They weren’t around when the sun was out, either. I think they have the same weaknesses as the vamp. I’d guess it’s because she’s who summoned them.” I grinned “I like this plan. High five.” I held my hand up. She smacked it. “Yeah,” Mike nodded slowly. “It could work. I hate to run from a fight, but it’ll be a lot safer to hunt her down during the daytime. We’ll do it.” He cocked an eye at Gina. “You want to get married?” “Shouldn’t you ask me out to dinner first?”