《Hellish: Misfit Misadventures》I Thought Sage Was a Plant
Advertisement
The morning came sooner than I’d hoped. The bright sunshine speared through my tired, puffy eyes, waking me unpleasantly. I was used to sleeping in fluffy down bedcovers, thick, supportive mattress, in a princess-sized canopy bed. This was not comparable, and my back ached something awful. I had a crick in my neck, and it felt as if I hadn’t slept a wink, even though I knew that I must have. Groaning, I sat up slowly, stretching achy muscles and rolling stiff joints. The tree that had looked so comfortable last night was now my worst, most hated archnemesis, the moss at its base had soaked my clothes with an awkward uncomfortable dampness, and I had to shake several bugs from my hair. All in all, for my first experience in camping in the wilderness, there was much left to be desired. But I had something important I had to do, and I wouldn’t let it drag me down. No matter how many stupid insects I had to remove from my person.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully.
“Morning,” I grumbled.
“Let’s be off! No time to waste,” he said.
Ugh, he’s a morning person, one of the most irritating personality traits. I sighed, getting up and brushing off the dirt I’d acquired throughout the night. By the time I’d stood, he was already several feet away from me, practically prancing towards the main roads, raring to go. I followed unhappily, my feet trudging through the soft dirt, mussing the grass and moss below.
We walked down the main roads for hours, stopping occasionally to nibble on some field rations that Tomas had kindly shared with me. They tasted as if he’d kept them in his miniature canvas bag for months, but he swore up and down that they always tasted like that, that he’d grabbed them as fresh as he could only the other day. I doubted this; they were musty.
Eventually, the sun peaked in the sky, staring down at us with urgency. So much rested on our backs, so much responsibility. The entire future of the human race could lay in the balance. A war between humans and demons would surely decimate us. We couldn’t hope to compete with their legendary demon sorcerers. I picked up the pace, which really only kept me up to speed with Tom and his longer legs. Again, I cursed my lack of height. I was only able to keep up with him for a few minutes before I tired out and had to return to my typical saunter. Tom had silently matched my tempo the entire time, never leaving me behind, and never once complaining. Instead, he just led the way, adding a comment here and there about the landscape and pointing out a squirrel or two.
We had gone on like this for most of the day, and I wondered how much more we had left. At the peak of a very tall hill, one that was too steep for my pace such that Tom had gone ahead of me, I heard him exclaim.
“We made it!” he shouted.
I almost passed out in relief.
When I finally reached the apex of the hill, I too could see what he was seeing. At the base of this cursed hill and a few miles away from the mountain range far ahead in the distance lay a small village. It must be the one Tom was talking out where his old friend lived.
“You’re sure this is it? It’s pretty small,” I said.
“It’s a retired Demon Hunter village,” he said, standing with his hands on his hips and a wide grin on his face.
Advertisement
“What, so most don’t make it that far?”
His smile faltered. “Uh, guess not. Didn’t think about that too much.”
I shook my head at him. Of course, he hadn’t thought about it too much. He didn’t seem to take my comment to heart, as he began to walk swiftly down the path towards our destination. I followed him down, just as I had been this entire time. One foot after another, and eventually had made it down the hill and to the entrance of the village. At least the descent was much easier than the climb.
“So, you know where he lives, right?” I questioned. It would be my luck that this idiot would be lost within the village. I hoped he knew where this guy lived.
“Yep,” he said, not missing a beat. “Last house on the left. If he’s not there, then he’s at the bar.”
“…let’s try his house, first.” I had no interest in entering a retiree Demon Hunter bar. Knocking on a stranger’s door and asking for help uninvited was bad enough. And, if I was what Tom insinuated, even though I doubted it myself, then it was asking for trouble. I felt nervous just being here, an unwanted guest impinging on the host’s hospitality that hadn’t even been extended yet.
Tom nodded at my suggestion, and we walked through the village down the row of houses, each more eclectic in decoration than the last. The cottages, although small, were each armed with rows and rows of runes. I hoped they wouldn’t be aggressive towards us. I assumed they were to protect against demons. Or solicitors. The last house on the left had the most spells of all. The runes were carved onto decorative rocks, into the outer walls, into the bark of the tree providing shade in the front yard. I still didn’t know what those runes meant, but they looked angry, if that could be possible. Magic ran through them, lighting up red and flickering as we passed by.
Tom noticed me staring warily at the runes. “They just ward off people with ill-intent. Unless you want to murder Old Sage, you should be fine.” He squinted at them, looking closer. “They don’t usually look like that, though.”
I grimaced, closing my eyes to ignore the runes, and took a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
Tom walked past the runes to the front door and knocked. Almost immediately, it opened, revealing a short, stout, old man with white hair spouting from the sides of his head. His wild, pale white eyes ranged about, and it was clear that his eyesight was minimal at best.
“Who is it?” the man shouted, then peered closely at Tom’s face.
Tom didn’t back away, instead allowed for the close inspection.
“Oh, it’s you!” said the old man, a smile gracing his wrinkly face. “Come in!”
“I’ve brought a friend too,” Tom said, turning back to look at me. “She’s afraid of your runes.”
“I see,” he said. He made a wild gesture, as if drawing a shape in the air. The lights in the runes receded until they were dead. “I’ve turned them off. Come in.”
I approached, stepping over the threshold with Tom, led by the old man. I let out the deep breath I’d been holding, half expecting the runes to explode. But, true to his word, the old man had turned them off and I’d been allowed through.
I didn’t know what I’d expected from the inside of the cottage, but it wasn’t this. The outside was small and quaint, just like any other country cottage might be, but the inside was anything but. I stared up at an impossibly high ceiling several stories above me. The walls were lined with bookcases up to the very ceiling, of course filled with books, but also with other odds and ends and magical paraphernalia. I assumed all of the objects were souvenirs of sorts from the man’s adventures and travels. I could hardly turn my eyes away from the sight.
Advertisement
The man had settled himself in a small sitting area in the center of the grand room, conjured up a kettle, and was pouring us each a cup of tea as I had been gaping at the scenery around me.
“Come, sit!” ushered the old man, pointing to the cup of tea he’d just poured me.
A plush armchair swept itself from across the room and scooted itself up to the table, ready for me to sit. I’d never seen such displays of magic, and I was rooted to the spot. Tom, however, seemed entirely used to this, and was already sitting in a rocking chair that had slid up to him. As for me, I’d only read about this level of skill in books, and I’d never heard of anyone that had these abilities in the present day.
We settled in at the table, the old man sipping on his tea, and Tom on his. I was still too shocked to do more than sit gingerly on my surprisingly uncomfortable and bony armchair, despite its lush appearance.
“My boy, Tomas… I haven’t seen you in ages. Where’ve you been? And you’ve brought me lady friend!” The old man waggled his eyebrows, his milky white eyes sparkling with glee.
Tom choked on his tea, spitting it all over the table. “She’s a… new acquaintance, Sage,” Tom said between coughs. “And we need your help.”
The old man, Sage, looked at me with knowing, pale, eyes. “She looks like more than an acquaintance.” He nodded wisely at me. “Pleased to meet you, princess.”
My mouth fell open. “How did you know?”
My mother kept me in the palace for the most part, except for when I routinely snuck out to have a moment to myself. My face was not known throughout the Kingdom, by my mother’s design. It was for my safety, she said. Not to mention, this man was clearly vision impaired. How could he see that I was anything?
“I make it my business to know things. Forgive me for not standing up to greet you, your highness, but these old knees of mine…” He smiled wryly. “Whatever help I can give you I promise I shall provide. What do you need of me?”
Tom swirled his tea in his cup, delicately gripping the delightfully painted china. “Sage… we need to get to the Hell Portal.”
Sage turned serious suddenly, his gaze switching back and forth between us. “What mess have you gotten into now, my boy?”
“It’s important,” I insisted. “For the good of the Kingdom. We need to go there.”
“As you say, your highness,” said Sage, bowing his head. “I’ll go rustle up that map.”
Instead of him getting up, as I expected, he instead waved his hands, and small gush of air wafted through, like a miniature tornado that Sage controlled. It swept through the cottage, searching through bookshelves, swishing up and down stairs, in and out of rooms that I hadn’t even noticed, and finally returned with a small piece of old parchment, aged and spotted.
“Thank you, North,” said Sage pleasantly, waving his hand to dismiss the wind spirit he’d summoned.
This retired demon hunter kept surprising me; first, he knew who I was, then his house was impressively spelled in several different ways, and to top it off, he was on friendly enough terms with the North wind spirit itself to ask it to fetch him something from his own house. What had I gotten myself into?
Sage spread out the folded, almost cloth-like parchment out on the table before us. It resembled a treasure map, in that there was a dotted path to take, ending in a circle, which I assumed to be the location of the portal. Tom and I both leaned forward to see better.
“So, here’s what you’re dealing with,” he said, indicating with a stubby finger and missing the map entirely, instead poking the bare table at least six inches away from the parchment. He really was blind.
Tom looked at me and shrugged.
“We’re here, just off the main road, which is marked,” Sage said. “You’ll follow that main road until you reach the mountains. Those are hard to miss. Inside the mountains are caves, and the map marks the path you’ll take in there. Come out on the other side, and the portal is just past the fields and Diamond Lake, up on the plateau. Should be a relatively easy trek, so to speak.”
Tom and I looked at each other, surprised with the relatively straightforward answer.
“This is the closest active portal I know of… but be careful. It spits you out right out in front of Hazuzu’s castle. You’ll have to come back through it, too. Unless you can convince a powerful demon to create a portal for you out of thin air.” He chuckled, then sat back in his chair, sipping at his tea once more. “Although the journey sounds easy, it’s a dangerous area. I’d watch out for rogue demons, too,” he said nonchalantly. “Humans tend to be assholes as well.”
Tom slid the map into his pocket, securing it. “Thanks, Sage,” he said. “As always, it’s been a pleasure.”
“Until we meet again, my boy,” Sage said, smiling into his teacup. “I’d insist you stay and chat, but I have a feeling this journey needs to start right now. Here, I’ll even help you get started.”
Sage gestured again, just like before, and the North wind appeared again, this time swirling around and presenting two filled back packs, almost instantaneously. If I stayed here any longer, I probably would still never get used to this.
We took the packs and saw that they were filled with the essentials of travel. Field rations, a camping blanket, a small bag of money, and other important stuffs like a change of clothes were all shoved in there, expertly packed.
“Thank you, sir,” I said, astounded with his kindness.
“Of course, dear,” he said sweetly, as if he were a grandfather doting on his favorite grandchild. “I’d do anything for a friend. And even more to avoid gaining another enemy.” He chuckled. “Hopefully this keeps me on your good side, princess.”
I smiled and nodded. “Consider yourself in my good favor for the foreseeable future,” I said pleasantly, warmed by his playful demeanor.
“Now, see yourselves out and be on your way. Time is of the essence!”
Advertisement
- In Serial16 Chapters
Fortuitous Mage
Matt Ramsay is a Graphic Designer with a gaming addiction, using virtual worlds to escape his real life. When Edict Corporation releases a new Virtual Reality Online game run by an advanced Artificial Intelligence paired with their full-immersion POD, he knows he has to try it out. What Matt finds within will challenge his perspective of what constitutes reality, and the real meaning of sentience. Fortuitous Mage is a LitRPG from the perspective of a straight male character. It includes Profanity and Violence, with light Romance. If my story interests you, consider checking out my others! Shadowstep is now a completed Second Draft! The Hunter Prince (Hiatus) is a newly started traditional fantasy.
8 340 - In Serial81 Chapters
Agent of the Realm?
I am Seria, the goddess of life and death. I was fathered by Chaos and born by Order. I am the first ambassador who leaves the realm of Dedessia to make contact with the other realms. Dedessia is a harsh place, a place in which even immortals, demons and gods struggle to survive. Nonetheless, we carved a path for ourselves and created a great kingdom. Something to be proud of. I am their representative and the first to make contact with the other realms. Can you imagine my surprise when they greet me with a fireball to the face? Me, the one who governs life and death!? Well, my wrath should be the least of their fears. They should hope that my parents never pay them a visit. But until that happens I'll play a little... ——————————————————————————————— Reading Order of the Multiverse-Books ——————————————————————————————— Author’s Comment: I was asked about reading my work on other sites. The answer is simple: Currently I am not active in any other networks than royalroadl.com. Only here, I correct mistakes and errors. If you read it anywhere else and have to pay for it, or have to deal with an annoying amount of advertisement, You Are Being Betrayed. You would do good if you make other people in that network aware of it. This is a free project of mine for the purpose of having fun. And if people try to make money with it you shouldn’t bother visiting their website. The only one whom I actually allowed to have my work on his website is Armaell who invested the time to compile them into pdf. (http://armaell-library.net/author/andur)
8 167 - In Serial28 Chapters
You Are The Gods.
You read the title right, YOU are a God within this story. In fact, every single reader of the story is a God. Many stories like to take the path that there are Gods that watch over the characters of the story, helping them or hurting them as the characters progress. What if, the readers of this story are the Gods that are watching the Main Characters? What if the readers could accrue points by reading that they could spend to help the main character, hurt the main character, or to even create new characters, dungeons, and scenarios? That is what I aim to create! I am trying to get the community involved in creating a reality that the readers themselves can directly influence! If you have any interest in this at all, I implore you to read the intro chapter called 'The Tutorial' and join everyone else on many interesting stories on Planet Earth and what it is to become! Volume 1 is where you can find how the system works, and the various things within the system! Volume 2 is the actual story and invasions itself. Volume 3 is where you can find previous polls and the such. Volume 3 is so we can all look back at the decisions made. Quick note. I am not the best writer, and will try my best to create the best quality story. There might be some grammar errors, or I might write in a simpler way compared to other authors because I do not have much time, nor can I write ahead either! If you wish to give me advice on the system as the story goes on, then I will gladly accept it. Lastly, just have fun with the story as I try to do something completely new! Cover Art made by one of the Deities, The Hive!
8 288 - In Serial10 Chapters
Monster Girl Collection: Mistrim Stories
Meant to be a companion to the main series, Mistrim Stories is a collection of short stories showcasing the lives of various denizens of the world as they make their way through their lives and unfortunately, get their life course adjusted by the events of the main series.Featured will be all manners of monster girls and monster guys as they explore, do battle and get up to some fun in a fantasy setting.If you enjoyed the main series so far, and just want more content while waiting for the main series, check this one out! You can check out the main series here: Monster Girl Collection
8 116 - In Serial12 Chapters
A Canopy of Stars
Arden, planet of a billion souls, has been destroyed. A solar body, known only as The Dark Star collided with the world, shattering it. Through the actions of ancient heroes, and the sacrifice of the Gods, life found a way. Floating through the black sea of space, orbiting the destructive beauty of The Dark Star is Shatter, a coalition of continental rocks, surviving as best they can. Through magic and technological advancements, the fractured remnants of the planet have been made halfway habitable. In addition to shattering the prime material plane of Arden, The Dark Star’s destructive force also fractured the planar system, collapsing ancient barriers and forcing the wild elemental and chaotic magics of the planes into conjunction. The Kingfisher, helmed by the enigmatic and powerful Captain Thunder and her miscreant crew, do odd jobs to survive, operating outside of the law. One such job takes them to the shard of Evergreen, a fragment of planet covered in brilliant forests and the capricious and deadly faerie folk who call them home. Unfortunately, while the job seems simple enough from the outside, it quickly embroils the crew of the Kingfisher in a dangerous storm. Can Thunder and her crew keep to the sidelines when war is brewing around them?
8 146 - In Serial18 Chapters
Bred To Be An Assassin
The Integrity of an assassin lies with the execution of his target. Follow the story of how an assassin, when given a second chance, can rise up to overshadow everyone. No one can come between him and his final destination, which was the top of the food chain.Death incarnate, he will not fail this time, because he was bred to be an assassin.
8 149

