So three things happened quickly in consecutive order quickly after I was discovered by Jolie and her friend

I was introduced to a tribe of scantily clad wild hearted humans, who refer to themselves as "Ravers". Their traditions include acts of ingesting many alterant substances such as LSD and highly value the substance Dimethyltryptamine, something they refer to as the "Spirit molecule". They have many strange battle cries that don't fit my current understanding of their language, such as screaming "Buttscratcher" at the top of their lungs when , what I can only assume is some form of audiomancy utilizing shaman, messes up their current dance and mating ritual. They call such shamans Djs. Other battle cries are as follows, Yeet Yeet, Lit, Wubbalubbadubdub, and the constant exclamation of BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It has been an uplifting experience.

To them I am a very spiritual and deep being. Though my attempts to rejoin the light and dark within them are seen as a purely erotic and sensual experience. Most don't like the intensity of what I do so they shy away from the healing process and tend to just offer me intercourse or substances. I also found out I love dancing. Last of all, they are seen as outcasts at times. often hiding their lifestyle or somewhat acting with a front of some kind. But they always return to their child like freedom whenever they can. I admire them, and I truly believe they could be an integral part of fixing this reality. I have faith.

I've been thinking for should 5 minutes while decimating a jar of frozen applesauce when jolie,skips into the room,glowing with a smile,but wearing a read flannel that barely riches her thighs.i suspect nudity beneath it and restrain an amused chuckle. Oh yes,dear reader,suspect me.suspect me well. "Hey T! have you seen my leggings? I lost them last night," Jolie is asking my with a broad hint of a smile. I've come to like this one. And unlike the rest she hasn't thrown genitals at me within seconds of meeting me. Goes to show you what I know I guess.

Lawls

I think and Toss the empty applesauce container in the trash from where I'm sitting look up from my can of monster, which officially is the second greatest thing this reality has produced besides applesauce, and gaze at the messy studio apartment around me. "honestly jo, love I think they might've burnt up somewhere. Heat of the moment and all."

She giggles and walks up to my side, idly grazing fingers lightly across my back to my shoulders, i slide a hand absently and twine our fingers as she comes to sit in my lap, and I feel her warmth spread through my body as she nestles her head on my collarbone and closes her eyes, radiating contentment and satisfaction. I can feel her, in every sense of the word.as the very molecular build up of her existence reaches to mine, searching for the tangible. my heartbeat, my scent, the slide of flesh against flesh. And she sits in silence.

I can tell this experience has been forever to her. I barely notice the passage of time.. Yet, in what time we shared she has taught me to cook, eat like a person. Trying to cover up i never had eaten before was one perplexing debacle of a mission. She may not believe me in the way she should about me being more than the normal meat suit, but hey at least she didn't start flat out laughing at me. like that pudgy,musky scented human I met in Valero. For a guy wearing enough bodyspray to be fuel a flamethrower and serving me slushies, he sure had a hell of a lot to say about me being one of those "Fruity Otherkin" just cause i said my soul is not like his. By the way, what's is up with that? I'm starting to assume there's a conspiracy and some deception going on cause I passed like 6 reptilian humanoid things disguised as police officers and a black,shades wearing, daywalking vampire on my way to the gas station alone.

somehow this guy was talking like he didn’t even know were-creatures keep redecorating his front yard.in Browns.

But regardless, she still doesn’t fully comprehend. And if I didn’t instantly comprehend "humans light things on fire when they don’t understand them" i’d have probably broken her brain or been chased by the Federalis by now. It was bad enough letting her talk her way into thinking she remembered I was naked and had functioning genitals and human body features the day of the accident.i hadn’t touched a human so i did not know to recreate such amenities or anything like that until her friend brushed my shoulder with a hand helping me adjust that towel. Remembering back, that alone must've confused them, luckily humans use hallucination as an excuse r stressful times. The second I got to her home they began inhaling a pungent smoke heavily, and I had a chance to analyze them decently enough to start mirroring them, using shock from the accident to explain a lot of the more fantastical details. This led to friendship.. Which quickly led to my first..explorations.

In this silence, however, I hear it within her, the will to recede.to shatter bonds, tear away or eradicate me and her feeling towards me. not in a fit of rage, nor spite. but merely the will to simply be as she is, all that she is, alone. singular, one that engulfs the all. her darkness challenging her light,and with that I'm reminded of what I am, and I see the separation and strife between my two other selves that I need to fix. They're constantly struggling against each other in every aspect of this world but never touching, leaving me between them, stretching both ways to just try and grapple one or the other, never grasping either.

since I awoke, it's only been a mere 5 months.(Thank you everlasting stopwatch of existence ticking in my head. And no I will not tell you how old the universe is, so stop thinking about wondering about asking me). But, her kindness and understanding has been insurmountable the entire time. but I never stop feeling it. her fear of me. her uncertainty. her soul knows I'm more than I seem. and my lack of denial only continues to fuel her sense of dread. I suppose splattering all over a person's car and then getting up, flicking off blood from self healed wounds would do that to a human. and, above all else I know what today is. I kinda got a warning ,thanks to my apartment ability to understand the very core off things ,it seems humans have a base of 2 emotions that rule their conscious and subconscious minds, and through certain acts related to a surplus of those emotions present, I become slightly attuned, not fully clairvoyant in them but, definitely able to deduce clear pathways. Her's, being passionate promiscuity and Earth splitting paranoia and worry, I had a guess where this would go.

Its the day she cuts me away like a disease.

so I just handled the hard part myself, might as well stick to being mysteriously all knowing right?

Just as she went to open her mouth to speak i kissed her quick on the lips and leaned forward to get up. a bit taken aback she rose, and I walked a few steps to the couch. I grabbed her leggings from the floor, underneath my own clothes, and gave them to her with a light, playful smile, before I went to slip into my newly gained black t shirt and form fitting blue jeans.

"so, today I'm going to head out I suppose, I feel like I've been freeloading off you enough to probably raise an eyebrow or two at. besides I have some things I should start piecing together so I can find a place out here right?can't stay a vagrant wandering the earth naked now can i?" I smile wholesomely, and I roll my shoulders back so I seem like the proud, goofy persona I've become use to presenting.

she frowns at that. but only slightly, I see the gears in her head turning as she realizes I somehow anticipated this. again, the fear, a twinge of guilt, but more, slight respect, I mean I think.it's hard to guess emotions i haven't bonded to yet,just like it's hard to mess with energy I haven't found the core of . I haven't met any honor bound samurai with a deep sense of respect that happen to be on the verge of Honorable Death to analyze yet. and more than a little bit of a sudden sadness at the prospect of me actually leaving, that one I only get because I binge watched all of some ninja anime about a loud orange loving brat in 3 months. "Are. Are you sure? will you be ok? I know we made sure you've had all you need on a basic level ,but, if you'll be homeless.."

I cut her off there with a flippant wave of the hand and a smirk. " Home is where the heart is love, and mine honestly isn't anywhere rooted to 4 walls and a toilet," I chuckle absently,already debating my next moves." I'll be fine, don't worry about me. you'll be seeing me around. I just figure some space will do us some good." I walk up and lightly hold her face in my hand and kiss her forehead lightly and Mark sure her inner workings are okay for the moment, a background program check if you will. (YES I KNOW HOW TO COMPUTER YOU PLEB, QUESTION ME NOT!)

I lean back, goofy smirk still plastered on my face, inclining my head to her in a gentle bow, before heading leisurely to the door, she smiles lightly, walking me out.

"oh, I almost forgot," she reaches into her breast pockets and pulls out a small black flip phone, a pack of cigarettes with matches, and a paper with her number on it. the light in her eyes dances, and I can feel I avoided catastrophe with my masterful maneuvering of action and somehow made her want to keep contact.YES!! DIGITS OBTAINED!! she wants to keep in touch! " Here, call if you need anything or. Y'know,just want to talk."

I nod, and grin goofily as I reach out and take the items before pocketing them. "thank you, for everything. Ill text you as soon as I get to a place to settle." and with that i say my goodbyes and kiss her a final time, and instantly feel the last of her doubts wash away. with that she closes the door as I head down the streets of Tempe. within minutes I've walked far enough out of her field of vision to turn a corner to the nearest park, and there I began to detach.emotions fade and the masks come off . and for the first time since I awakened, I was alone again, empty.

And without further ado I find myself sitting beneath a tree, hugging my knees as I ponder, evaluating the pain I felt within her all those weeks. The lost friends, family, her history of self harm and abhorrent drug abuse. the conflict between light and darkness, my other two selves, created this. And the whole of the world was feeling this.I didn't know how to stop it. so far all I've been able to manage is unity by flesh contact and a few minor things like reading people. im pretty damn far from a transient all-being of cyclic nature that is a part of some grandiose sense of..just..being.

Hell I wouldn't be able to do anything in truth until I learned more about the reality that my divide created.beyond that I have to understand what made me divide AT ALL I'm the first place. so what now? do I just wander?

In honesty, I guess that’s a good a place to start as any. so I rose and looked around the park. what I was searching for came quickly enough, and I immediately headed toward it, as I got closer reality became more transparent, incorporeal. soon enough I was in a white void colored by a myriad of sky blue and sunrise pink ley-lines.

little known fact, if you know how and where to walk, you can get anywhere, from anywhere. now I'm not talking portals or like some mystic door in a tree or some hidden gateway inside a wardrobe. no white rabbits either. Im calling them seams, or maybe waypoints..you know what nope im calling them stairs. if you ever have seen the stitch work on a sweater than you know a string in two different places, pulls two spots together, just as stair steps link different floors. two separate planes,or floors. Yes, I simplified it but you get the Gist. fact is, if you aren't trying to travel from here to Neverland, you can jump spots in an instant in about 2 steps. and trust me, that is a fun trick to play when someone is tripping the biggest balls,its also the only other thing i can do currentlt. anyways, I merely looked, saw the passage I marked prior, and made my way to my secret base.

Now let me be clear, in Arizona, unless you're rich, secret base means "Please don't let the cops find this place." mine happened to be an abandoned house in Peoria, bordering Glendale. when I got there it was run down, beat up, and honestly all I saw was potential. me being overly optimistic again. nevertheless I warded it 2 weeks prior to today and began making a spot to hang in my spare time. I appeared in, I don't know,screw it I'm calling it the dining room. and looked around. Most of the things i made so far were wooden or reclaimed. and since i could only affect things on tiny level the best i could do was negatively charge the electrons with my life hacks and amp my own internal bioelectric output to make my body's protons act as a battery with the air when i was present in the house the open tiny seams, the pathways in the air and surrounding area to all the lights and outlets. Effective self sufficiency for the win,no cords! After placing my clothes In a few half cool cubbies I moved to what was my Office. Periodically while Jolie had been busy, I was out trying to find a job, which apparently is a source of human fulfillment.

I looked at the desk strewn with applications, and lazily brushed a few a side. I picked up one for a place called the New Age Store. Some hippie store with a few cool odds and ends, crystals i find pretty and lively, one or two books with some real deep philosophies and a couple of nice self proclaimed lightworkers. It seemed like the optimum choice and the one with most promise and i was completely sure i could get the job.

I placed the paper down and turned into the dimly lit main room, and i gazed around at the house as I walked around, tweaking things here and there as I had made a habit of doing. Honestly in light of everything, the old abode was truly beginning to look like a home. The plants outside were feeding from my presence and reviving,not much I can do to turn that specific thing on or off. the soil was even beginning to reconstitute life and heal. Sure I would need paperwork soon and all that extra, but i had already begun putting in effort to make the old property my own. I could pull the rest easily enough. I hope. Maybe. Regardless I was a bit distracted.so much so that I was totally caught unaware when,well..i got knocked out. All the crazy things i can do aside,my body is still human in its function. And my strength failed me as i took what felt like a another car accident to the temple and a loud ringing tore into my ears.i don't even remember hitting the ground, but i remember the cloying smell of a wet rag soaked in some putrid chemical being held over my mouth and nose. The grid of my mind and body immediately began to falter and i didnt even have time to dedicate energy to a movement.i lost control and fell into the cold embrace of the waking subconscious as my body stopped responding and darkness engulfed my sight. Then an echo of voices,endlessly faint and numerous,like whispers, thrilled with wispy laughter.,bounced around my skull. The voices grew loud enough that it sounded as a cool,nearly genderless,fluid mumble. the voice of the depth of shadow, i heard true darkness speak four words that came with the start my first personal conflict in this world..

Show me your resolve…