《The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington》Travel Tip #1: Make a plan
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It has been two and half weeks since Chad had told off her honour and while she was still fuming about it, she did accept his apology. Yet it had come with several conditions, a few that Chad had not expected. His firm was told, more like ordered, to force Chad to take a two month vacation. Another condition that would save him from a hearing with the bar association was two months of mandatory meetings with a shrink. Considering how destructive his behaviour had been as of late, he didn't fight that either. The judge even insisted on appointing the shrink herself, vouching for a doctor that she most likely used herself. Chad never considered the judge to be crazy, but he could understand how stressing her job must be especially since she had to deal with douche bags like him every damn day. So it was no surprise that Chad would be forced to agree to therapy of some kind to deal with his anger issues, but what was surprising was that his firm supported it so much they offered to cover the tab. Chad thought that was very clever, because it gave the firm a shield against future litigation. Now they could claim the firm made great efforts to make sure Chad didn't behave like that again. It would save them a lot more money than it would cost to give Chad some professional help. While Chad wasn't too keen on the idea, he went with it none the less as he was quite confident that he was getting off light for what he had done. He should and was thankful not getting into any trouble with the bar association.
The firm had not suspended Chad, but as instructed put him on a two month paid vacation. The partners wanted to make it unpaid but the man who was punched in the stomach, the councilman, insisted on it or he and his many influential contacts would take their business to another firm. So after making a heartfelt apology to her honour, Chad was sent home and ordered not to come back to the office for at least two months. If he needed anything from the office, his secretary Janet would get it for him. Under their agreement, Janet would be allowed to keep working at Chad's office to take messages and keep things organized in his absence. Chad didn't need anything from the office, and spent the first few weeks at home playing World of Warcraft and watching Maury Pouvich, eager to find out which sucker was the baby's father. Yet this day was different, as he had to leave the apartment and travel downtown for the second session of his court mandated therapy. He was about four minutes early and had to wait ten before being welcomed in by his therapist. Chad hung his jacket up and strolled over to the same chair he had sat in the time before. The therapist, Doctor Connors, stood there and noted the difference his client had made since the last and first time the two of them had met.
Chad looked up at the therapist as he stared. "What?"
"You look a little different this time," the doctor noted, "Last week you were so professional. You were wearing a suit that looked more expensive than my car, you were clean shaven and your hair was slicked back. Today you're letting loose a bit. You're wearing sneakers, blue jeans and have a bit of stubble this time. You're wearing a dress shirt, but there's no tie and the sleeves are rolled up a bit. So you care about your appearance but seemed to be more comfortable with me this time out."
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"I'm just tired of trying so much," Chad said, "You didn't seem to notice or care what I was wearing, so it didn't seem worth making the effort for."
"I noticed, Mr. Barrington," Connors said as he finally sat down in his usual chair, which Chad liked to call the throne of judgement.
"I just got lazy," Chad corrected, "the suits are still in the closet but I don't feel the need nor any pressing reason to wear them."
"Well, you actually look more comfortable," Connors observed, "I hope this is a sign that you might be more comfortable talking to me today."
"I guess we'll have to wait and see." Chad replied.
"I'm not judging, Mr. Barrington." Connors told him, "Just making an observation, this feels to me like you're coming out of your shell rather than becoming lazy. Do you think a Knight wears his armor all the time? He doesn't. The Knight only suits up when battle is imminent, and that's what came to mind when I saw you today. Your amour is your suit, your sharp look. The courtroom is your battle field, so it only makes sense that you only wear it when you go to work."
"All that from what I'm wearing," Chad said, "You're getting your money's worth today, aren't you?"
"And there he is," Connors replied.
"There who is?" Chad asked.
"Councillor Douche Bag," Connors answered, "Incapable of taking a compliment and attacking everything that is said, as if we're still in court."
"Debate is nothing to shy away from," Chad retorted.
"No it's not," Connors agreed, "But that doesn't mean you have to make one everywhere you go. That can be tiring after a while."
"Speak for yourself," Chad countered, "I do this for a living."
"Not for the next two months," Connors corrected him, "Did you do anything noteworthy since the last time we spoke?"
"Just vegging at home," Chad answered, "Catching up on my shows and playing games. Nothing special."
"Maybe that's the problem, Mr. Barrington." Connors said.
"How so, doctor?" Chad inquired.
"You're not doing anything special." Connors answered, "This is a vacation. Usually when taking time away from work, you should do something special. Travel somewhere and recharge your batteries, which was why you were asked to take one in the first place. It was the hope of everyone that the iceberg on your shoulder might chip a bit with some time off."
"I see," Chad noted, smiling. "So your epic advice is for me to get my sorry ass the hell out of town?"
"Not exactly," Connors replied, "The suggestion is to put a little more vacation into your vacation. Right now what you're having is what some would call a staycation."
"What the hell is that?" Chad asked.
"It's a term that has spawned recently," the doctor explained, "Used for people who cannot afford to travel but use their vacation time to stay home and recharge just by not doing any work. You're a high priced lawyer, so why are you having a staycation?"
"I didn't realize I was supposed to get the hell out of Dodge." Chad chided back, "Kind of hard to make my next appointment if I was at Disney World, right?"
"I'm not saying you have to leave town," the doctor replied, "but you have both the means and the opportunity. If you took advantage of that, I can't see how that wouldn't be seen as anything but beneficial."
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"I see," Chad said, scratching his scruff. "Where should I go?"
"That is entirely up to you," the doctor replied, "You could fly to another city to see a ball game, or to a beach and get a tan. Get away from it all, Chad. Doing something like that helps people reset their heads, get some perspective."
"What about my appointments?" Chad asked.
"I can give you a pass for a few weeks," Connors replied, "As long as you're willing to make more of an effort when you get back. We can technically call this following doctor's orders so you won't be in violation of the court order."
"I'll think about it," Chad said, as the thought of getting away from his shrink for the next two weeks was rather tempting.
"Maybe when you get back," Connors added, "You might be open enough to talk about Paula."
"Not likely," Chad replied.
"What about Zachary?" Connors then asked.
Chad looked back at him with a glare showed the shrink that he had clearly crossed a line with. "I wouldn't hold your breath."
The rest of the session went rather well, and Chad left informing the doctor that if he did leave town that his secretary would inform him so that he'd be aware if Chad had decided to take his advice. As he was leaving the building, Chad was about to hail a cab when a black car with tinted windows pulled up in front of him. When the back window facing him rolled down, Chad was greeted by a familiar face. It was the councilman that he had punched in court two weeks ago. The councilman didn't even look upset as his was grinning like a cat that ate a few canaries.
"Mr. Barrington." He called out to Chad.
"Councilman Peters," Chad called back, "How are you?"
"I'm doing great," Peters replied, almost glowing. "Need a lift?"
Chad was about to decline but then it occurred to him that this wasn't a chance encounter. The man had likely been waiting for him to come out of the building to speak with him outside of the office. Chad was still Mr. Peters' attorney so no laws were being broken, but just making this effort gave Chad the impression that he was there to speak about something important.
"Sure," Chad replied, stepping it the car after the door was opened. "I apologize for the casual look."
"Don't worry about it," Peters said, slapping Chad playfully on the shoulder. "What you did that day was amazing, and I wanted to thank you."
"What's happened?" Chad asked, as he wasn't keeping up on anything since he started his mandatory vacation.
"The case was dismissed last week," Peters answered, "I've been completely exonerated like our source said I would be."
"That's great to hear," Chad said, "I'm sure that did wonders for your numbers."
"More than you know," Peters said, laughing. "In a few days, I'll be announcing my candidacy for major. That wouldn't have been possible without your efforts."
"The DA is running for mayor as well," Chad said, finally figuring out what this was all about. "This whole spectacle was to deter your bid to run, wasn't it?"
"I have to admit," Peters said, still laughing, "You went above and beyond to get yourself held in contempt of court. But we need to keep this plan we had on the down low, which means you cannot speak to the press or anyone else for that matter."
"What makes you think that I will?" Chad asked.
"It's just me being a worry wart," Peters replied, "You've been put on leave for the next two months, so I need you to get out of town for a week so. I don't want you to be around to answer any questions after I announce."
"Funny you should mention that," Chad said, "My shrink was telling me the exact same thing; to put a little vacation into my vacation."
"Smart man," Peter agreed, "And he's right, you've earned some time off. Go somewhere far away and take things easy."
"I assume somewhere very far from here?" Chad asked.
"Yes, go to an island." Peters recommended. "Somewhere warm where they serve drinks with tiny umbrellas in them. You'll find a lot of hot women there, they like places with sand by the ocean."
"How long should I stay away?" Chad inquired.
"At least two weeks," The councilman said, "And I'd like you to be on a plane high tailing it out of here before I make my announcement."
"Okay," Chad said, sighing. "I guess I'm going on vacation."
The councilman smiled again as he reached into his coat and pulled out a rather thick envelope. "This is for services rendered and for being a good sport."
"How much is in here?" Chad asked.
"About twenty grand," Peters answered, "Your transport and hotel has to be paid out of your own pocket, but use this for everything else. Drink, be merry, and have a good time; on me."
"Thank you," Chad said, taking the envelope from Peters.
"Thank you, Chad." Peters countered, "Without your help, I might have lost my chance to run and become the Mayor of this city. I'm already polling ten points ahead of the DA right now. You really saved my bacon so if that firm is too dumb to keep you I promise they'll be a job in my administration waiting for you if you want it."
"I don't think that will be necessary," Chad told him, "But I appreciate it."
The car finally came to a stop right in front of Chad's building. Before Chad got out of the car the councilman grabbed his arm.
"I hate to be paranoid," Peters started, "But this conversation is still protected by privilege, right?"
"What conversation?" Chad replied.
"Good man," Peters said, smiling once again. "Have a good time and pretty please with sugar on top... get the fuck out of town."
Chad stepped out of the car and watched as it silently rolled away and disappeared into the city's heavy traffic. He walked back it his building and immediately went back up to his apartment. Once in there, Chad tossed the thick envelope he got from the future mayor onto his coffee table before proceeding to walk over to the liquor cabinet and pour himself a drink. It seems that fate was pushing him in a specific direction, and Chad Barrington was running out of the energy he needed to push back. It was apparent to him that it was indeed time to finally get the hell out of Dodge. He dialled a number, put the cell on speaker and placed it beside the envelope of money. Chad kept sipping his scotch while waiting for someone to pick up. After four rings, someone finally answered.
"Welcome to Pittman, Ryan, McDonald and Associates," the voice at the other end answered. "This is Chad Barrington's office."
"Seriously Janet," Chad yelled at the phone, "Four rings?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Barrington!" Janet replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I need your help," Chad confessed, "I want to get out of town, go somewhere far away where there's a beach and a full bar. Put a little vacation into this vacation to be precise."
"Oh, yes Sir." She replied, "Any place I particular?"
"An island," Chad replied, "Somewhere in the pacific. Find me the perfect place to get away from all this madness."
"How about Hawaii?" she suggested.
"No, anywhere but there," Chad replied, "I promised someone I would never go there without her. Let's try the other side, get me something in the Atlantic."
"How long will you be going to this place?" Janet asked.
"Two weeks," Chad answered.
"I found a very nice island," Janet replied, "I'll book you a nice resort where food and drinks are all complimentary. Do you want to fly first class?"
"I hate first class," Chad replied, "And that makes me stick out. Book me something in business, but get me two seats beside each other."
"Two seats?" Janet repeated.
"Yes, two." Chad confirmed.
"Okay," Janet said, taking notes. "And you want to go for two weeks, and when did you want to leave?"
"Tomorrow morning." Chad replied, "Can you pull that off with this little notice?"
"I can Sir," Janet said, almost as if it would be her pleasure to help his boss get the hell out of town. "I'll email your flight itineraries to you later today."
"Thank you Janet," Chad said, trying to sound polite. "Is there anything I can buy for you while I'm over there?"
There was a pause on the other end. Janet was not used to be asked these kinds of considerate questions from her boss.
"I don't know," Janet honestly answered, "Can I text you later if I think of something?"
"Sure," Chad replied, amused by the silence. "Send it with itinerary."
"Yes Boss," Janet said just seconds before the line went dead.
Chad wandered over to the window of his Condo and looked out at his city, and thought about what had happened that day. As much as he didn't want to leave, it was apparently the best course of action according to the two people he spoke with that day. With life pushing you hard in one direction, Chad decided not to fight fate. He was going somewhere tropical to rest and relax, and take a much needed break. Chad was also eager to go somewhere that no one knew him, eager to get out of town and leave the title of Councillor Douche Bag behind for a few weeks.
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