《Tales From Mirthland: Dr. Entwhistle Wins a Box》Dr. Entwhistle Wins a Box: Chapter 3
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The tiny bell over the door jingled as Durbin entered Pucky's Pawnshop, box still under his arm.
"Pucky? Are you in? I think I might have something good for you."
The doctor scanned the various shelves of bric-a-brac for any sign of his acquaintance. Above him, a set of metal tracks hung suspended from the ceiling. Though braced, they vibrated with the rush of an oncoming vehicle.
"Up here Entwhistle!" the shop's proprietor called out.
Only a little surprised, Durbin tilted his head up and found the dwarfish Pucky riding a specially designed child's velocipede on the track, glaring down at him.
"Figured you would be up at those new hot springs hocking your garbage. What you got there?" his friend asked.
"An odd little chest. Kind of looks like a jewelry box. Splendid workmanship, to be certain."
"What's inside?"
"That is what I was hoping you could help me with."
The pawnbroker jutted out his chin and scratched his dirty stubble, an exaggerated display of interest.
"Take it up front. I'll need a closer look," he said.
Durbin smiled. "You're the best, Pucky."
"Yeah, yeah." The little man cycled off down his overhead tracks.
As a rule, Durbin didn't come to Pucky's Pawnshop to do business often. The narrow aisles between the shelves, the display tables set at knee height, and the sad state of most of the merchandise gave off an atmosphere of unwelcome. The same atmosphere perpetuated by the store's proprietor. But sometimes you got a hold of something you couldn't take anywhere else, for whatever reason. And if that something were unique enough, Pucky was sure to pay handsomely for it. As long as you didn't expect to get your something back.
Approaching the counter, Durbin laid out his prize and leaned his sample case against a shelf nearby. He waited a few moments and listened to the velocipede clattering on the tracks overhead. The pawnbroker came to a stop and, elegantly for a man of his minuscule stature, clambered down a ladder onto a stool. Fishing out a magnifying glass, he gave the box a once over.
"You were right Entwhistle. This is fantastic craftsmanship. I doubt you could find a box this nice outside of Whitegate. Of course, I'm obligated to ask where you got it."
"Won it off some schmuck in a card game at Rouis'. He was, eh, reluctant to bet it at first, but I convinced him."
"I'm sure you did," said Pucky looking at the object in question. He pointed to the strange red bird mask etching. "What's the symbol mean?"
"No idea." Durbin decided to play dumb about how much he knew. His dwarven friend didn't deal in stolen objects, so not divulging too much would be in his favor. But the detail the woman in teal, Tivany, had mentioned could net him some extra profit. "I heard someone mention something about the Sower, but the name didn't mean anything to me."
"Sower, eh?"
Pucky traded his magnifying glass for a jeweler's lens and turned his attention to the lock. He gave the box a shake. Nothing rattled or bounced within.
"I'm guessing your schmuck didn't bet the key, then?"
Durbin nodded affirmative.
"Well, let's see what we can do."
The pawnbroker unrolled a set of locksmith's tools on the counter. Gingerly dancing his fingers across each pick, he selected the right one for the task, a narrow little point to fit the thumbnail-sized lock.
"I can give you a couple hundred Quell for the box alone," he explained, "But I'm not buying anything locked lest I know what's inside."
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"Fine by me, my friend. Long as you pay me for whatever's in there too." Durbin leaned in for a better view of his nimble-fingered friend at work.
With the precision of an expert marksman and the steady hands of a surgeon, Pucky inserted his picks. He moved them only minutely, working the tumblers one by one. Close together, and cloistered by the store's inventory, he and Durbin formed a tight, intimate circle around the box. For the two of them, the world shrank to that countertop. Everything else fell away as the lock clicked open bit by bit.
The tingling of the bell over the shop door broke their trance. Pucky's hand twitched and the pick jabbed to the side.
"Shit! Only one more tumbler."
They both groaned.
"Let me check on what this idiot wants."
The pawnbroker clambered back up to his velocipede track while Durbin fished an herbal cigarillo out of his sample case. He knew he shouldn't dip into his own stock, but he sold the hand-rolled smokables for less than a Quell, so one was no great loss. Lighting it on Pucky's oil lamp, he took a deep drag as his friend skittered by above him.
Neither man had yet paid much attention to the hulking brute in the ragged white robe that'd entered the store. Martex cracked knuckles thick as masonry.
At the same time, still recovering from Durbin's mild poisoning, Tivany rushed through the alleyways behind Pucky's Pawnshop. Her swarm of metal bugs trailed ahead of her in a cloud, like a halo of silver specks. Uneasy, she stumbled at bit in places, her heeled sandals not the best footwear for running. But after stifling another hot, disgusting burp, she reached the shop's backdoor. The "No Solicitors" sign was a dead give away. As her beetles gathered on her person once more, the woman in teal slipped in through the unlocked exit. If the god of fortune was kind, she had beaten the Calamity Mages there.
Speeding toward the man mountain, Pucky was unperturbed by his guest's great size. At most, he was annoyed. His velocipede halted above Martex's hooded head.
"Hey, buddy! If you've got some business, wait over there!" He pointed at a sagging red armchair in the corner, an old broadsheet draped over one arm. "If not, then scram! I'm in the middle of something!"
The giant gave no reaction, merely exhaled loudly behind his mask. This drew Durbin's attention, so he craned his neck around a shelf for a better view. The robed brute hadn't moved an inch since being addressed. He just stood there, breathing.
"Hey, dingus!" Pucky shouted "I said beat it! Or didn't you hear me?"
Behind the counter and unnoticed, Tivany spied the scene through a rack of merchandise. Her hands shot to her mouth to stifle a gasp. All eyes were on Martex.
The pawnbroker sneered at the intruder's disrespect. "Asshole, I'm talking to you! Say something or get-"
Martex's head snapped back and the eyeholes of his childlike mask burned holes into the dwarf, who felt his annoyance evaporate like ice hit by a blast of steam.
"-out."
The man mountain grunted and thrust his hand up, palm open. Wine dark energy blasted out at Pucky. He flew through the air, slamming into a pile of junk next to Tivany's hiding spot. The arcane salvo crashed into the intricate velocipede tracks and the whole pawnshop shook. Overhead, anchors gave way, the ceiling cracked, and the entire delicate apparatus collapsed, crashing to the floor.
Durbin flung his hands up to protect his head as the tracks fell. Thinking quickly, he swept the box off the table, cradling it in one arm and ducked. Tivany did the same, throwing herself to the ground.
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Shelves toppled, pawned items going with them. Tables broke from the sudden impact of heavy brass pipes. Cacophony filled the store for dizzying, disorienting seconds. Pucky's whole shop turned into a disaster zone.
Careful of her surroundings, Tivany checked on Pucky. He was in shock, unblinking eyes wide and mouth agape, still clutching the handlebars of his velocipede. But worse were the singes around the dwarf's torso. They glowed with murky scarlet energy. As bad as the burns appeared, Tivany knew the damage was far greater on the inside. There was Calamity Magic at work in them.
Durbin meanwhile, poked his head out and made his own survey of the crime scene. Miraculously, his cigarillo survived. The doctor looked at the mound of junk where Martex once stood and hoped the brute perished in the crash. He was disappointed. The murderous mage burst out of the pile of scattered antiques and roared like a demonic bear. Arcane energy surrounded his body, forming into huge claws around his hands. He pointed one sharp finger at Durbin.
In disbelief, Durbin pointed at himself. Martex nodded back to assure and terrify him. He was the man mountain's next victim.
Grabbing one toppled shelf with a crackling magic claw, the would-be killer flung it away like it weighed nothing. Hurling another out of his way, he stalked toward the half-Aelar charlatan, baubles breaking beneath his heavy steps.
Not one to wait for threats, Durbin scrambled to escape but found himself pinned by some of Pucky's velocipede track. He shoved against the brass piping, trying to free himself, to no avail. The elaborate mechanism remained wedged in place between shelves and weightier treasures. Martex came closer, showing no signs of hurrying.
Unable to flee, Durbin turned to his sample case. Pulling it out of the wreckage, most of the vials were still intact. Frantically, he checked each of them, searching for something he could throw or splash in the brute's face. Anything that might give him an opportunity. If the Templin was on his side, he might have some acid to eat through the pipes.
But he found nothing of the sort, only some scattered broken glass on the case's bottom.
Durbin's search ended when Martex clenched a massive fist around his neck. The claw's diseased energy licked at his flesh, singing it with hot lashes that cut deep without breaking the skin. He felt like a fire had been lit inside his throat, and he choked on the heat.
The wine-dark magic enveloping Martex's body swirled into a spiral on his chest, forming a portal. The mystic gateway spat out a small woman in a robe of the same color, like some grotesque parody birth. She clambered over the cluttered floor with arachnid ease and came up to Durbin, putting her bandage-wrapped hands on either side of his face. She stank of rotten eggs, the surefire sign of sulfur.
"Dr. Entwhistle," said Karna behind her crude plaster mask, "You've been a naughty boy. Taking things that aren't yours."
"Well..." He wheezed out, "Technically, I only... 'Urk!' won your intended delivery. Your issue... is with the guy who gambled it."
She caressed his cheek as Martex released him. "Yes, poor Tahd. Don't you worry though; we've dealt with him already. But there is still the matter of. Our. Box!"
Durbin's eyes shifted to the ground where their precious chest lay, thankfully undamaged.
Karna said, "Give us our property, and we shall forgive your little transgression. If you choose not to, well..." She held her left hand in front of his face and more sizzling scarlet energy burst from her palm.
"Your answer?"
Despite the circumstances, Durbin actually gave her offer some quick thought. Holding on to the box would be ideal, it being his only profit of the past few days, but the situation didn't seem to make that a viable option. But other people wanted the mysterious thing, like the woman in teal, so the potential still remained. These people were willing to kill him; maybe they would be willing to pay for their (no, his) property instead? Though generally people in masks casting dangerous, likely illegal, spells weren't the type to negotiate.
"Can I make an offer?" asked Durbin.
But his answer was made for him by something large and metal flying through the air, beaning Martex in the face. The man mountain stumbled back, hands going to his injured face. The object that struck him, a mechanical hornet the size of a rat, swung around on delicate glass wings and faced Karna. She shot off a few blasts at the insect, which nimbly evaded them.
"Damnable thing!"
"Stop right there!"
All eyes turned to the ruined counter. There stood Tivany, feet planted and fists on her hips. Another hornet hovered over her shoulder. The unearned self-confidence Durbin detected in her earlier made it an effective pose. She flashed a hexagonal gold badge in her palm.
"Tivany Zenboor, Magician’s Guild Investigator. Karna Alberon, you are under arrest on charges of Murder and Calamity Magic!"
Durbin was dumbstruck. "Guild Inspector?" He turned his assailants. "Calamity Magic!?"
Sooner than he could make any sense of what his rescuer said, Karna seized him by the scruff.
"Call off your bugs Guild Pig or I'll add another charge to the list!"
Her energy-wreathed hand blazed uncomfortably close to his face.
"Don't I get a say in this?" he asked.
"Keep your naughty mouth shut Entwhistle." Karna's gaze never wavered from Tivany. His closed fist reeled back beneath her notice.
"Because I'd rather go with her."
As the words left his lips, Durbin flipped up the bottom of the murderess' crude mask. She only had a second to gasp before he slammed a handful of the broken glass in her face.
"Aaahhaahh!!!"
The energy blazing in her hand snuffed out as she staggered back from the sudden attack. Blood dripped from her jaw and her hands shot up to pull down her mask.
"Martex!" Karna cried out. "Martex! Destroy them!"
She dove back into the portal swirling on her enforcer's chest. The brute recovered from the unexpected blow and renewed his assault, swiping at Tivany's metal familiar with his claws. But hindered as he was by his great size, the insect evaded the swings easily. With a whistle, Tivany set her second hornet on him as well before going to Durbin's side.
The doctor ran a hand across his throat. He found no physical damage, but a burning had still seeped into the flesh. Durbin could feel the heat smoldering in his windpipe. His other hand was bleeding, covered in dozens of cuts from clutching those glass shards.
"Quick thinking back there," Tivany told him, pressing a button on her amulet. Her smaller bugs began sawing through the tracks pinning him down. Durbin coughed and pointed to his sample case.
"Yellow... bottle."
"What? Oh, your medicine."
The Guild inspector pulled his bag over. Sorting through a few different vials, she found the one he indicated and handed it over. He chugged the whole thing.
"What did you drink?"
"Cough syrup," he said, "No idea how effective it is against Calamity Magic, whatever that might be, but seemed the best option."
"You'll need stronger medicine before long."
Her beetles finished their task and Pucky's velocipede tracks fell away in pieces of piping, freeing Durbin. He stood and collected his case.
"Do you still have the box?" asked Tivany.
"Right here." He held it up in one hand.
"Excellent. We should leave, immediately."
Behind them, Martex roared furiously, throwing debris and globes of crimson energy at Tivany's hornets.
"He seems to disagree."
At the sound of Durbin's voice, the man mountain turned in their direction. The wine-dark magic around his form blazed in intensity, and he cracked his neck. With a bull's ferocity, he charged at them, plowing through the wrecked pawnshop.
Durbin held up the box as a shield but Tivany simply whistled. Her hovering hornets wheeled around and fired their stingers at their assailant. Four-inch needles buried themselves in his body, but showed no signs of slowing him. The mechanical vespids shot off more darts. On the third volley, Martex collapsed and momentum slid him across the floor to their feet.
She sighed. "That was close. Don't worry, he's only asleep."
"I would be less worried if he were dead!"
Pulling back her loose sleeves, the hornets clamped on her wrists, becoming her distinctive bracers.
"Let's move, shall we?"
"Wait, what about Pucky?" asked Durbin.
Climbing over the counter, Tivany showed him where the pawnbroker lay. He was still in shock, the scorches of Calamity Magic still smoldering on his skin, and let out some quiet coughs. Durbin knelt in front of his friend, unsure what to do. He considered himself a doctor, and a smattering of training made the claim not total fraud, but he was at a loss for what to do. He had no remedy for diseased spells.
With no idea what else to try, he gave Pucky some of the same cough syrup he'd taken. From the burning still in his own throat, he knew the medicine was only a stopgap but still better than nothing.
"Entwhistle, we need to move before the sedative in those needles gives out."
"I can't just leave him like this."
She put a hand on his shoulder. "A Guild squad will be here before too long. They'll be better equipped to help him. But right now, we need to get that box as far away from Karna and her crazy followers as we can."
Durbin could tell she was sincere. By the Templin, he despised sincerity in cops.
"Yeah, you're right. Let's beat feet."
Carefully, they exited Pucky's ruined shop into the alley out back. More hot springs pamphlets crunched under their feet. Tivany again demanded she be given the box but again Durbin refused to hand it over. She sighed but didn't argue. At least he was cooperating now. Pulling out her magic detector, the Guild Inspector checked for any more of Karna's followers. No shadows slithering through the streets would sneak up on them this time. Her new charge stayed silent and out of sight as she worked.
"All right, looks like only those two followed you," said Tivany. "But more will be here soon. I'm sure you're confused. I'll explain on the way to the safe house. The Guild keeps one on the-"
She turned around to find Durbin had vanished.
"-Edge of town."
At first, she suspected the Calamity Mages had sucked him into one of their strange portals. The criminal sorcerers did have more traps than rat catchers. But a more mundane, and probable, explanation quickly dawned on her.
"That bastard ditched me again!"
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