《If We Could See Forever》Chapter 18 Promises

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I AM BACK!!!!!!

Eric pushed John away, staring into the darkness. He took a very deep breath, then let it out quietly and slowly with his nose. By using this way, he managed to soothe the tight feeling in his chest.

At the beginning of their relationship, they had vowed to be together and made a lot of sweet memories.

Eric remembered many of them. Those shinning pieces from the past merged into a

beautiful picture of good old days, supporting him in hard ·times.

John was the star athlete at school, and everyone wanted to be his friend. However, he never spared a glance for others’ attention and obstinately only hung out with Eric.

Meanwhile, he was also unusually childish. He could waste a whole afternoon in the garden, watching ants and dragging Eric to watch with him.

There once was always a pocket in his school bag that was stuffed with Eric’s favorite snacks.

And, everybody in the school knew that John Chapman was guarding Eric Cleese like a dragon guarding its treasure. He would never allow anyone to ask Eric out except himself.

During the years they were struggling for life, John drank a little too much and had some early signs of alcohol dependence. Every time John drunk, he would hold Eric so tight and apologize to him for their predicament.

You promised…we promised to each other…burying his face in hands, Eric cried like a lost child.

Many flowering trees were planted in their school. By then, every spring he would pick the full blooming after school and poured all of them on John’s head.

Also, they had shared many, many loving kisses under those trees when no one’s watching.

But now, they all meat nothing. Their love had been eroded by lust and greed.

John Chapman was also not the boy he loved anymore.

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He was Mr. Chapman, not his Johnny.

I would always love you when I still could. Eric whispered to sleeping John.

But, when I left, you needed to face everything on your own.

John once praised that Eric’s dimples made his smile charming and sweet as if they were two springs filled with honey.

Tonight, those honey-drenched dimples were soaked by bitter tears.

Sun raised much later in winter. Eric felt he waited too long to see morning dawning. Bleak winter sunlight flowed into the room through the thin curtain, looking strangely like shinning yet cold snow.

This was a hard winter, and Eric wondered if John was willing to build a snowman with him. A snowman would melt extremely snow in temperatures like this.

It could keep John company after he died.

Eric climbed out of bed to clean himself. John left love bites all over his body, looking licentious and painful.

Eric didn’t know whether John’s other lovers would endure being treated like this, but he knew he would take anything John gave him.

Because he was used to condoning John and everything about him.

Frowning, Eric pressed his forehead on the edge of the tub, sticking his forefinger and middle finger in his anal, trying to wash out the sperm John left there.

He was tired and hurt.

Maybe he shouldn’t let John have his way every time.

After taking the pill, Eric started to prepare breakfast. He knew John probably would have an epic hangover; so, he made something light and healthy, hoping they would make John feel better.

He still had zero appetites and didn’t cook anything for himself.

Instead of eating, he grabbed a fantasy from the bookshelf, reading it on the sofa while waiting for John.

John was up very late this morning. His thick dark hairs were messy for sleeping and sticking out in all directions.

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John smiled sweetly when he saw Eric and squeezed himself beside his lover, holding him in his arms like hugging a teddy bear.

“I need to leave tomorrow. Will be back in two weeks. Business trip…hate it.”

Eric let out the breath he was holding, “OK.”

That meant he could go to the hospital by himself.

“On your own?” Eric broke free from John’s arms, walking to the kitchen to bring John his breakfast.

John cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well, no. With my secretary and some managers.”

Actually, Eric didn’t care about this. Handing John a plate of food, he sighed, “Thomas deserves a raise. You give him too much work.”

John’s voice was muffled by food, “Thomas will stay behind. I’ll take the new guy, help him familiar with the job.”

Eric chuckled humourlessly, “Do I know this new guy?”

“Of course not. Told you he’s new to the company. You left too long and couldn’t even name all members of the directorate, let alone Kyson. He is just graduated…” John held his tongue the moment he realized he said too much.

But Eric was already heard enough.

Well, if John considered this Kyson so important, then he was definitely not a simple secretary like John claimed.

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