Cessair had the usual battles with sleep and gave up earlier than most nights. He had a few hours before his day actually began, and for most people this might be a moment of relaxation, relief, or even reflection. Cessair couldn't stand it, all he wanted was for the next day to come and go so he could leave this filthy place behind. The one silver lining he could find was that he didn't have to clean the activity room.

He rummaged around in his thoughts, like swimming through a stormy ocean of emotions. At times he couldn't help but get angry, working himself up over the people that had wronged him. Other times he'd manage to resurface himself, thinking about Jabez or of all the possible things he could do once he finally leaves Huxley. A common recurring thought was of setting up his own 'Observatory' in his future home, where he could watch as many sunsets as he pleased.

His bruised bones and busted lip were too distracting and he struggled to stay positive. He hoped the activity room was as dirty as it could possibly be and the fat boy was all alone in its filth. Suddenly, Cessair had an idea. Kitchen duty wasn't for another forty-five minutes and that delinquent was already in the thick of cleaning the activity room. With more energy than he expected, Cessair stood and peered out his bedroom door. The hallway was empty and he could see the boy's closed door at the end of the hall, it seemed safe enough to sneak out.

He slithered around his door, quietly closing it behind him before tiptoeing his way down the hall. The lights were still off since it was before breakfast, but it was darker than Cessair remembered. It didn't fill him with confidence but he hoped it would hide him if it came to it.

The building was so old, it was impossible to find a place to set your feet without causing the boards to creak, what was usually a minor annoyance was now wreaking havoc on Cessair's anxiety. He tried spacing his steps, stepping softly or quickly but no matter how he walked, he felt every step was a siren to anyone nearby. A straight line never felt more strenuous.

He finally made it to the door, the paper name plate to the right of his door said 'Adam'. For some reason, having a name to the face only made him angrier. He looked around again and then put his ear to the door, listening to see if he heard anything. Adam had taken the box in with him the night prior, Cessair was worried one of the other boys not on duty might have already snuck in to enjoy whatever was inside.

After countless moments of silence, the dark ominous hallway became more unnerving than the idea of somebody in the room, which seemed unlikely. Even so, he slowly turned the doorknob and tried to peak in but as the door opened to a slim crack, he was overwhelmed with light. The small beam of sunlight was slicing through the dark hallway, which panicked Cessair more than the purple spots taking up most of his vision. In his alarm he burst into Adam's room, turning to close the door before even examining what was around him now. It was quiet, he assumed that he was alone and safe but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. Even facing a wall he could tell there was light on him, there was a heat to it as well. He knew something would have been said by now, especially with the door being closed less than cautiously. He slowly turned as his stomach wanted to do the same, but it was just an normal room, except some differing furnishings. He put his hands over his face so he could peer between his fingers and protect his eyes. Adam's room faced east and the sun lined perfectly up with his window, illuminating the entire room as well as raising the temperature at least ten degrees. He could understand why Adam didn't mind cleaning the activity room so early, the sun rising would instantly wake someone up and it became unpleasant in here rather quickly, but he was glad Adam had to endure it.

Cessair focused, he wanted to know what was inside that box. What could be bringing all those jerks such delight and laughter? It made him sick just thinking of the rancid sounds they made, they didn't deserve to feel pleasure so soon after beating him senseless. He hastily looked through Adam's dresser, careful to put everything back the way it was. He checked inside his bed, underneath it, his nightstand didn't have anything within its cubby or drawer and there wasn't anything hidden in the closet.

He was at a complete loss, he definitely saw Adam walk inside with the box but it is nowhere to be found inside his room. Cessair didn't have all day, he couldn't spend precious time searching areas he had already been. Clearly Adam wouldn't have been able to get this passed Cecilia if he hid his box in a common hiding place, Cessair looked everywhere he thought a box would fit.

He couldn't help but start looking in unlikely places, but there was no time to waste anymore. He lifted the boy's mattress, looked behind the bed framing and even underneath the dresser. The only other furniture he hadn't looked underneath was the nightstand, but it barely even had a gap underneath it, there was no way a box would fit under it. He couldn't help but give in to desperation and at least back the nightstand away from the wall. Upon doing so he had noticed a removed section of cheap cardboard backing. His heart skipped a beat, could this be it? He skewed the nightstand and got on all fours to look inside the backside of the nightstand, he could see the light from the small gap between the floor and nightstand from earlier. There was actually space inside between the cubby’s base and the floor, Cessair reached toward the silhouette interrupting the bar of light and pulled out what could only be the box he sought after.

He was practically salivating with curiosity at what the contents could be, he sat back and got comfortable. He examined the box, noticing the holes in the sides of the box, near the bottom and the few chew Mark's around them. As the idea was becoming more clear, he opened the lid to reveal an adult Dumbo rat, fur so white that it didn't seem like it really lived at Huxley Orphanage. It's dark red eyes were intimidating but he reached his hand in away from the rat and it seemed to react friendly enough. He moved his hand closer and the rat curiously sniffed the new human, once the rat lost interest Cessair picked up the rat by the scruff of the neck, examining the rest of the contents, The box had some dirt inside, among countless rat droppings. The boys had all thrown in whatever dry leftover bits of food they had as well as some poorly balled up string they must have tried to give him as a toy. Cessair felt red hot shame explode in the face, seeing that they treated this rodent they found better than himself or Jabez.

He became angry he found himself ruining the rat's things while keeping it scruffed in his hand, away from his head, only to become more infuriated as he realizes he feels envious over a rat. When there wasnt anything left to ruin, he figured it was time to put the dumb rat back inside, Adam would just think the rat ruined his stuff, but when he lowered his arm it felt lighter than before. When he brought the rat back into eye shot, it was grossly disfigured. The skin had shrunk and tightened against its intestines and thin bones, its red eyes had become a hollow pink and the breathing seemingly stopped long ago.

He quickly dropped the fragile body inside the box, he backed himself up against the wall, unable to control his breathing. He couldn't process what was going on and all he knew was he needed to leave. He grabbed the rat, his fingers wanting to forcibly drop it, quickly shoving the box in its original location and placing everything like he had never been there.

He opened the door, the hall had brightened somewhat but it was still empty as he thought it should be. He threw himself out of the room, closing the door behind him and began rushing to his own bedroom without even considering the loud floor boards. He threw the rat into one of the few garbage cans that lined the hallway, wiping his hands on his pants as he sped by. He ran through his door, closing it and falling back onto the floor of his one time only sanctuary.

His heart was racing, he couldn't believe what he had seen. He didn't understand what he had done, if he had done anything at all. He even wondered if this was some elaborate prank Adam had set up for him but that seemed unlikely. He sunk back, remembering why he was in the lockdown in the first place, the way Cecilia had acted just from him squeezing her arm. At first he had just assumed she was old, brittle and more than likely a hypochondriac but the way she fell backwards seemed all too real now. He didn't understand how but he was somehow to blame for all this.

Later on, Cecilia would drag him to kitchen duty along with Jabez. They were glad to see each other but Cessair was apprehensive to get near his friend, he wasn't sure if he would cause him harm despite never having a problem in the past. Jabez could tell something was strange but knew that his friend wouldn't say anything if he was already taking active steps to hide something. He gave a simple gesture, letting his friend know he could talk to him before going on to talking about something else.

As happy as Cessair was to be there with him, he couldn't do much talking and would go back to his usual listening and would tune out into his own thoughts. Once in a while he would grab his own arm, waiting for something to happen but nothing did. Sometimes he would try to force it, he'd grab his arm again and internally shout 'do it!' or 'kill me!' but no matter how much he focused, he didn't begin to feel any weaker. He didn't want to die, but he wanted to inflict some kind of pain to himself simply so he would have a better grasp on what's happening. Nothing was worse than living in the unknown, especially when you're the unknown.

The distractions racing through Cessair's brain didn't manage to slow his workflow down, despite it's best efforts. When they finished for the day, they walked out of the kitchen in time to see Adam and the group of other boys in the middle of frantically looking for something. Cessair knew what they were looking for, he couldn't even sate Jabez's curiosity. He feared what Jabez may think of him. They continued on until they had to separate at their usual point, avoiding the other boys in the process. As Cessair relaxed into his bed, he bit his lip hoping that the trash had already been taken out for the day.

He was feeling restless and it was too bright to even attempt sleeping, so Cessair did what he always did. He pulled his nightstand away from the wall, moving it in front of the window. He hopped on top and sat with his legs crossed. He took a deep breath and exhaled onto the cold glass, leaving him a large blank canvas of condensation. He made all kinds of doodles while he waited for the sun to set. There wasn't much time to appreciate his art as it would quickly fade from existence, but with another puff of hot breath it was ready for more.

Cessair heard the frantic sounds of Adam and the other boys rummaging around in their rooms and the surrounding hallway trash cans, anywhere a rat might have run off to. He picked at the loose chapped skin on his lips as he listened to the sounds of the boys progressing down the hall. He hoped it was gone already, he hoped Cecilia would come and stop them from digging in trash, he hoped they would just go away; but they didn't and none of the staff came to stop them. Cessair's body was tense as he heard them hunt through any and every container they could find, until he heard a short yell that was quickly cut away by other boys quieting him. This was it, he thought, they had found it and he was certain the next search would be for him. There was another moment of silence and then the sounds of the trashcan being reassembled. Cessair's heart felt as if it could burst out of his chest but as the tide of hushed whispers and rustling feet faded down the hallway, so faded the pounding in his chest. He waited and waited but no one ever came looking for him or anything else, the sun had already set by the time he took his ear away from the door.

It was too dark to clearly draw on the window and the room was becoming too cold as the night drew on, Cessair didn't have much choice but to get under his thin covers and wait the night away. He laid back dreading what Adam might gather the others to do tomorrow.