Chapter 6

A deal is struck

or

In the midst of madness

A bloody fire in his veins. A heartbeat like thunder and lungs working with a pace of well-oiled machines. A forced mindless enclosed him as he ran to the beat of the thunderbolts within.

The dark fur laid smooth along his body by the wind pressure. Wind created by the speed his legs brought him forth with. Big paws prints were left behind in the piles of snow that covered the ground, or where the snow had melted and left the earth wet and sore.

But he did not feel. He did not see. He just ran. Running from the emotions. From the cage of pain keeping him bound and the consuming helplessness. His breath colored the air white. The golden eyes stood out stark and bright in the darkness.

And he ran.

His steps frenzied, in battle with the very ground. A bullet through the forest. Only the rays of moonlight through the branches above him would caress him. Make him stand out from the rest of the night-shadows as they played over his coat. A bush would sway lightly when he passed. Prey had scattered from the raw energy which was the beast’s only feral companion.

This was not a hunt, yet the savageness made any flee. He was the Alpha of this land, and he made sure everything around him knew of his presence. He had run far, no goal in his mind other than getting away. Needing to get the pain out of his system, the restlessness. Barely able to be in his own body, it was all he could do not to claw at himself.

So, he ran.

Far enough that he was nearing the end of his territory. But instead of running across the border, towards an unforeseen future, he turned left. Over a ditch, up a hill and further up some boulders. Free of branches above him, fully submerged in moonlight he stood still. Dark against the moon as a silhouette, heaving from the exertion.

He could feel his pulse in his paws. The pounding a song all on its own. Telling a tale of how hard he had hit the ground. How hard he had pressed his mortal body. In a speed that no living being should achieve. And still nothing in him seemed to settle, to find peace.

Desperate, he raised his snout and howled a clear, strong sound. The edge almost to the point of pain and rawness. It vibrated through the air. Filling the black space and coiled itself around trees and over stones. Barely letting the last tone out of his throat, he jumped down and kept going. Running wild. Ease did not find him.

He ran.

***

(A way with words)

Ember had found out that she had slept the first day and the better part of the next away. Nobody had seemed to want to disturb her, to which she was glad for. There was something about knowing she at least had her room to herself. Not having to worry about other curious wolves wanting to see the new individual. Though she doubted very much Blake would let anyone disturb her, simply to satisfy their own curiosity. Or so she hoped.

As far as Ember understood, only a few had been let in on what was going on. Not wanting to rile up the whole pack about what had occurred, Blake had kept everything tight. Of course, here would be speculations on what was going on, and who she was. And keeping information about Ember as much as possible, was blowing to the fire of trouble if you asked her.

Blake was probably being barraged with questions. Not that Ember cared the least, she told herself. He had brought that onto himself. And he had to be extremely busy, since she hadn't seen him. Not once since he left her in her new room. Not until this morning that was. Though she had slept, using a lot of hours, there was an annoying pit in her. Empty and hungry. But not for food.

She should have felt well rested, ready for most. But she found herself agitated and restless and annoyingly so, very lonely. She hadn’t felt lonely in so many years. She hadn’t! She had been a loner for numerous years that the notion was nonsensical. But as she looked out on the early dawn. Perfect and peaceful, she felt anything but that. Peaceful.

Nothing seemed able to disturb this peace. The sun’s rays look pale in one angle, blinding in another and had an illusion pinkish tint. A blanket of fog, thick and ghostly white, lay heavy over the grounds. Frozen dew slumbered on petals, spiderwebs and coated stones with a glaze of thin ice. Where the fog was thin, untouched snow sparkled like stars and the sound of birdsongs was light in the crisp air.

It was beautiful. Normally a morning Ember would never have missed photographed. For once, Ember found herself detached. Or perhaps it was more a certain kind of enviousness inside her, which kept her back. It was almost mocking that everything around her could be in such harmony. Whilst she herself was anything but.

In the end Ember shook her head. She was being ridiculous. Beyond that even. So instead, she decided to enjoy the wonder for a moment. Just a tad, and remind herself that at least everything else was as it should be.

And why couldn’t she be? She would. Not right at this moment, but in time. That at least gave her some kind of tranquility. At least until she thought why she was not under the covers, enjoying slumber and sweet dreams. Ember snorted - sweet dreams, what a joke. It had been anything but that. What she had gotten this night was but short periods of fretful rest. Now she was more tired than when she had gone to bed.

Thinking back about the early morning didn’t exactly help.

Her thoughts had been her own personal nightmares. Yet when it was not the haunting imagines, it was her own traitorous mind against her. Thoughts circling around and around, all with one certain individual as the main subject. Torturing her in a way her body never could. But could answer.

In the end she had given up on the ongoing fight of sleep. Deciding that an early shower was as good a start as any. If only to rid her of the strong embrace. The heat giving fire to her own fever. Of bodies sliding and gliding and dark messy hair and golden blazing eyes. Eyes who looked straight into her very soul.

After those dreams, it was an ice-cold shower she needed. The house had been silent as she had ventured out into the corridor. That dormant hour where the quiet was the simple result of quiescence. Every instinct telling her to be soundless, so as not to disturb the time of sleep. While the house was dark and still, it was not overwhelmingly so. Still, Ember thought her breath as heavy and almost disturbing. Her skin prickled and tingled, and not in a good way as she had made her way.

This was the morning of the third day she had been there. When she had returned to her room after her tour of the house on the second day, there had been only one time where she had been close to see Blake again.

Even though they had not seen each other face to face, Ember had been just as alert and focused. Tense to a point. It was before she had gone to bed. Sitting and wondering what to do now. Everything in her had gone completely still as he had approached her door. It didn’t help that his presence had hovered outside her door for a moment or two. Probably unsure if he should knock or not.

He hadn’t.

Only after she heard the unmistakable sound of a door closing, did she breathe again. Then everything began to hurt. How could a person be so at odds with one’s very own soul? Wasn’t the person and the soul one and the same? Ember didn’t know what to think. She had but known that everything within was reaching out for that one person. Only one room away.

So there she had been. Gone in her thinking when she suddenly stood face to face with the very being she had tried to escape. Though it had been from her thoughts. The warm-blooded version wasn’t much better. Actually, scratch that. It was much worse. She had stopped abruptly. If she could she would have sold her night vision to the first bidder then. Alas her fate was set. Way too many details assaulted her poor brain. After those dreams? This was not what she had wished to see. What little peace of mind she had had was in jeopardy!

Muscular chest, heaving slightly. Sweat drops gliding down. Practically in slow-motion over every contour. His muscles were taut. Veins throbbing from whatever exertion he had been doing. And his dark hair was clinging to his neck and forehead, the rest sticking out in every direction.

It should be illegal to have the appearance that he had and not at least have a shirt on. It almost made her mad at him. It was impossible not to notice every effing curve on that torso. She was a healthy female, thank you very much. Her brain was so close to be smoking and frying. Her poor eyes going to go blind if she looked much longer. Ember swallowed. The fever which had taken residence in her body since those dreams turned up full blaze.

A little voice was wondering about what he had been up to in these early hours. With a sweat coated body, slight panting and holding his blouse in one hand. His jeans hanging askew on his hips...

Right. That is as far as you go, Ember!

His eyes seemed to be burning in the darkness. And suddenly, as if a spark flared, they had brightened when he saw her. She swallowed a lump at the sight. He had kept going until they stood close - scarcely a meter from each other. She did not move back. She couldn’t. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears, taking up the fast rhythm of his. Like two drops of water, the sound merged together. Their heartbeats now in sync.

Her gaze followed, hypnotized, a drop sliding down his neck. Making its way over his collarbone and down his chest. While she was bewitched by something so simple as a drop - something she normally could have cared less about; he had been checking her out just as much. From plump lips, sweet chin and slender neck to the heaving chest. To take in that she was only in an oversized t-shirt that stopped right above her lovely knees.

“Can’t sleep?”

The question was simple. Ridicules so. All the same, it could have been the deepest intellect question in the history of mankind. The moment sure had made it feel like that. Something underneath the surface, a more recondite meaning. Her gaze flew upwards, meeting his when his voice broke through the thick silence that surrounded them. She blinked a few times before finding her voice.

“…No.” A single word. But the small number was all that was needed. It made her feel like she had ripped her own chest open, delivering a soul deep secret. Still, the close proximity settled something inside her. Just a tad. She had not been able to decipher what. Only, something soothing seemed to sweep through her.

He had appeared to be mulling over her reply, with a low hum deep in his throat. With everything going on, it almost had an effect on her. Almost.

“Ember, we need to talk.” She found out that she liked the way he said her name. There was something raw to the sound, yet kind and soft, but also… sadness. Ember knew she had been the giver of that sadness. However, it did not mean she liked it. But sometimes you had to live with what you got.

“Hmm, we do. But I don’t know if this is really the time or place.” Her brow rose slightly. Her voice was low and soft. She didn’t even know where that kind of tone came from. A rumble - or had it been a low chuckle? - escaped him as mirth swirled in his gaze. Her stomach burned, hot and boiling then and there.

She needed to get away. Right then. Her eyes told as much and he noticed.

Whatever mirthfulness in his eyes had faded, and worry replaced it. His free hand sought her forearm. His hold was gentle. Nevertheless, her eyes still took in the presence of his hand as if it was a foreign being. He gave her a gentle squeeze. Took a small step closer. It was too much.

“I-I really should go,” she whispered, then forced her voice a little louder. Trying to forget the sensation that was growing in her arm by his touch. Sleek and warm, pleasing and it lighten her heart to a degree that caused a flashing warning in her mind. Yet, her arm could just as well have been boneless, because she couldn't move it.

“Ember, please listen to me.” Deep blue meet gold. “I’m not going to force you, no matter how deeply I want you. But I am asking you to think this through.” She blinked a couple of times, moistened her lips and turned her eyes down. Once more he gave her a squeeze, but this time she didn’t look at him before she knew what to say.

“You don’t even know me. How deeply could you possibly want me?” She asked, but as soon as the words had left her, she knew. She already knew that their very beings were screaming for each other. The only one holding them back was her. Blake’s features fell into sad lines, but said nothing. She closed her eyes hard for a moment, then tried again in other words.

“I could be the biggest bitch in history and you would be stuck with me! Or you… you could be…” She shook her head a little. Looked to one side, then the other. As if the answer to it all was to be found in the walls around them. Blake let the blouse go. It hit the floor as he took another step closer. He took her other arm in his now free hand and bent forward - trying to recapture her gaze once more.

“A terrorizing Alpha who would cage and chain you, and breed pups on you?” He asked, a bit of humor in his voice. She snapped her mouth open, pupils dilating, fighting for words. Though he had already taken the lead.

“I understand your worry - I mean, you’re not the only one who is in an unfamiliar situation here. But I am asking you, for the both of us. Try, give me some time, let me prove to you that it’s not a mistake - that there are reasons for this… madness.”

She said nothing. But she felt. Oh, she felt that warm touch of his. She was close to touching his chest. A chest she had more than once stared at. A certain lightness unfolded under her skin, spreading out through every vein from hence he held her arms.

Then his hands had glided down her arms and found hers. Their fingers had begun a slow, if a bit unsure, mellow dance against each other. Feather light it had been. Leaving tender trails across their skin. His hands were so much bigger than hers. Having a little bit of calluses on the inside, and strong knuckles and veins for her touch on the outside. She glanced down at their hands, almost mesmerized by the movements. Perfect it seemed, too perfect.

With his lips at her ear he asked quietly, but not so that it was a whisper. It gave her chills anyway.

“Give me a chance Ember. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Slowly she raised her head. She didn’t say anything, but the silence which followed spoke for her.

Everything.

“Please.” A whisper.

This time she closed her eyes in a defeated manner. Then, giving in, she nodded.

“Fine, for a time. But then I am out of here.” She had agreed and no matter what she said after, it could not dampen his smile. Warm and soft. Blinding as the sun’s rays. Any other situation and it would have been contagious. But her lips stayed numb.

“Thank you.”

Shock. Pure shock made its way down her body. She had never thought that she would hear the words thank you (or please for that matter) from an Alpha, but there it was. She did not know what to do with it. So, she pushed it to the side. Her brain was already frazzled as it was.

For a moment it seemed like he was weighing what to do. But do what, she was not sure. His conclusion had been to do nothing. With a final squeeze he let her go. Took a step back and collecting his blouse from the floor, then began to walk towards his room.

“Oh, and I am not like that.”

“W-what?” Surprised and baffled she had turned half around to look at him. His hand on the doorknob ready to open his door, but he was looking at her.

“I’m not a terrorizing man who would cage and chain you and force pups on you.” Though I do want pups. The words were hanging in the air, obvious to both of them, but not uttered out loud. The words were some she was yet to be ready to hear. With a final nod he vanished behind his door, leaving her to the semi dark corridor.

She needed more than a cold bath by then. She had needed a run. A long run. Fatigue had hit her soon thereafter. Shortly after she made way to the bathroom.

Now she was sitting on her bed, looking out as the dawn swallowed the night. With a towel at her wet hair, she was still not sure what to do. The loneliness still ruled in her chest. For some reason she found herself looking at one of her hands. As if she could see traces of his hands on hers.

Then her cheeks heated up in a telling red.

Had that really happened?