#34

This Tobi was the sweetest out of them all, and I was happy every day we spent together, almost making me nostalgic of the days I have spent with Kooto centuries ago, except that one ended horribly. It was the second time I saw real Tobi in this school, but the first one was no good. Our only real encounter was when he ran into the ladder I was on trying to put up some school banners, which made me fall hard onto the ground and crack my skull. He panicked, and then looked relieved when I came back around, apologized, and then we never spoke again. There were also some mis-hits, that I snidely lured into 'accidentally' killing me, only to come back again the next spring. What a waste of time that was, although it's not like I had a limited amount of time.

This Tobi was a bit different. He was so obviously in love with me, and he was ready to admit it and express it, which I did not explicitly accept, but he was happy enough to accept my smile as a good enough answer and our time spent together every day in our school lives as a sign that we were hooked – or more like, he didn't seem to care whether we were officially a couple or not, he just stood by me like a loyal shepherd, never pressing for more, but never leaving me behind either.

That's why I had built up new hope for that year. I thought maybe, just maybe, in once in a six centuries chance, that this final 'happy ending' of our relationship would end the bad cycle of doom and grudge.

The summer passed filled with a lot of joy, with us spending most of our time together out in the sun and under the stars around the outskirts of the town. I still never managed to leave this town, but those days I felt like I never needed to if I could spend my days with him like that.

As the autumn festival was drawing closer, I was growing nervous and excited at the same time. Would I survive past this full moon? Or would things go horribly wrong again and I have to repeat yet another year, with everyone having forgotten me and me needing to establish myself in school again as a transfer student, and the worst of all, probably with no Tobi around.

That was the problem. Every year when I came back in spring, my previous classmates have moved up a year and lived on as if nothing happened. I even once gave a farewell graduation speech to my old classmates who no longer remembered who I was. But on the occasion where the real Tobi was in my school, I came back in spring, he was gone. He was not like me at all, because he was completely gone, physically, and was not remembered by anyone either. I never came up with a good theory for why that happened, but that's how things worked.

On the evening of the day autumn festival starts, I was nervously pacing around the fountain near the main festival street waiting for Tobi to turn up. He was late, which I did not like because he was always on time – actually earlier than the promised time whenever we met up. Is something wrong? What is happening? Why tonight of all possible nights? This could be my last night, this could be the last time I see this Tobi, and this could, perhaps, be the night where everything could break away from the chain that slaved me to this way of 'life' for so long.

About an hour later than the agreed time, I saw a silhouette of a couple walking towards the fountain where I was. The man walked like how Tobi walks, clumsily swaying his body from side to side – but who the fuck was the girl? My heart stopped cold when they got closer and I realized that she was holding onto Tobi's arm, her body closely pressed against his, Who is this bitch.

"Hey Rika, sorry I'm late", Tobi stopped in front of me, with the girl still clinging on to his arm.

"What is this?" my voice was trembling and the girl seemed a little taken back by hostility in my voice that only another woman could sense.

This, surely, must be some sort of misunderstanding. It's so sudden and random – but why tonight out of the possible timing.

"You know, I probably should have told you earlier, so I'm sorry, but…"

What the fuck?! I reflexively slapped Tobi on the cheek with a vicious swing of my hand.

"Oh my god! What are you doing?!", the girl squealed.

"Shut up you bitch!", I snarled back at her as I was reaching for the small but very sharp dagger I always kept with me tied around my thigh below my skirt – this is just something I got into over the centuries.

She looked completely in horror when I flashed out the knife, and Tobi jumped onto me shouting "Please stop!"

I was getting flashbacks – all the expectations and worries had been draining me for the past two weeks, and to see Tobi, MY Tobi turn up with a girl on our special night drove me completely over the edge. I remembered back at the night when Tobi killed me, the anger, the rage, the disbelief, the pain, what he must have felt – I hated him for not trusting me and making such judgment, after all the time we've spent he did not trust me when it mattered, but although it will never be forgiven in eternity, for a very brief moment I felt like I could understand how Tobi must have felt that night, albeit mistakenly.

I brushed off Tobi's launch onto my body and he fell heavily onto the stone laid out ground, and I turned the dagger around and smacked down on the bitch's head with the bottom end of the grip. She let out a little yelp and flopped onto the ground.

"Rika, please – stop it, she is my precious.."

Those words that were coming out of his mouth tipped me over completely even before he could finish the sentence. I've heard enough. I will kill this bitch first, then I will kill Tobi. This Tobi is no good after all, and it will be the first Tobi that I will kill, and I hope he never comes back.

I flipped the dagger around again and gripped the handle hard with both of my hands, and drove it straight down to this bitch's heart. It felt almost like a firework of blood – oh how I would have loved to see the firework with Tobi on that night instead of what actually happened.

"Noooooooooo!" Tobi screamed and ran over to the girl. She's dead you little piece of shit. And you will be the next.

"Gina, Gina… wake up! Gina, oh god, no, please..". Tobi was hunched over to the girl and embraced her with one arm, while trying to stop the blood gushing out from the gaping hole in her chest.

So you are not even looking at me now. As if I don't exist. So this is how it was. I might have forgiven you if you came out clean with this earlier, but to do this tonight was unforgivable. I gripped my dagger tighter as I looked down on Tobi.

"Rika.. why.. why did you.. I don't understand.."

I didn't want to hear anymore. I slashed across the back of his neck as hard as I could, my blade making destructive sweep between his two vertebrates, cutting off all the spinal cord. Surprisingly, the blood did not shoot out as it did from the girl, but rather, it seem to just kinda drip out thickly.

Tobi fell to the ground, his whole body writhing uncontrollably. It's probably some fucked up reflex of his disgusting body. You, are just a fucking lump of meat after all.

Tobi was spread on the ground on his back, his face looking up to mine with already half-vacant eyes, he looked like he was trying to say something, I was surprised he could move his mouth at all. I kneeled to listen to what this fucker had to say for the last time.

"Rika.. why… Gina… my only living cousin…"

Oh fuck.

"Tobi! Tobi!"

What the fuck did I do? Then it dawned on me – he probably just wanted to introduce his cousin to me, who may have come to see him from out of town, maybe to check out the festival together with us. Maybe he was late because he had to wait for this girl to get ready, maybe he meant to tell me he should have told me earlier that his cousin was coming to town… oh no.. what did I do…

I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck trying to stop the bleeding, but I knew it was futile. I felt it before. I cut off his spinal cord. Bleeding was not an issue. There's no way he can be saved.

My tears were dropping on his face. I was rubbing my tear-soaked cheek against his that was still warm. Oh Tobi, no… I made a mistake. I made a grievous mistake. Come back, please… come back..

"Come back!!!!!!!" I wailed into his face in despair, and against all logic and the laws of nature, his eyes flashed open and his eyes focused on mine.

"how..Tobi.. are you okay?"

"huh..? what happened.. are YOU okay? Why are you crying?"

"Oh god.. thanks god you came back.. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.."

"You smell salty – must be your tears"

Then suddenly there was a loud bang sound and a pebble next to where I was kneeling over Tobi jumped up.

"Drop your weapon and stand up slowly! Now!"

Shit.

I looked back and there were a bunch of police officers. To them, I must have looked like a murderess. Well, I was. I have no idea how Tobi came back, but I did kill this one girl, and she was never gonna come back. I stood up slowly, but keeping my eyes on Tobi, not facing the officers.

"Rika.. what's going on..?" Tobi started to sit up slowly, holding the back of his neck as if it hurt, but there was no more blood, in fact, there was no sign at all that it was cut open just a minute ago.

I'm glad you are okay Tobi. But I did something terrible. I killed a girl in the heat of inexplicably foolish misunderstanding – maybe I'm worse than you were back then. At least something actually happened, and you killed the bastard and me. It was not fair, but I could understand how you could misunderstand. But I killed a girl who was never in the mix. This was never supposed to happen in my cycles.

"Drop your weapon! Now"

I cant.. I can't be caught and put into jail. Just like every year, things will reset again when the spring comes – I have to force the reset.

"Good bye Tobi. Thanks for the memories.. and I will find you again"

I then swung around and dashed towards the town constable that was holding the gun up towards me, he was the closest one to where I was – come on. Do it.

I lunged myself towards his direction with my dagger pointed at him, I saw a flash of fear in his eyes, heard the loud sound of bang, followed by Tobi screaming my name, and I blacked out.