Wen Reian

2005 years after The Long Night

Hêi'àn Hills

The hardest part of it all was the silence. Traveling alone on foot to The Hêi'àn Hills was difficult, but Wen Reian almost couldn't stand how quiet it was. He'd once told Xie Yi-jun that he sometimes "practiced" being alone. Now, Reian wished for nothing more than Xie De's loud laughter, Jin Yu's curious voice... Yi-jun's gentle smile and the way he ran uncaring through the trees-

I'd give anything to not be alone...

But he was. And Wen Rei knew that the journey he'd begun was one he would likely finish alone too. With no guarantees that his plan would even work, the young man couldn't help but feel a little like he was digging his own grave, as he stopped at the foot of the tallest mountain and began to empty his bag.

If the maps are correct, right about here is where one of the central towns used to be. As good a place as any I suppose...

Reian tried not to think about how the black glass underfoot, and covering much of what he could see, was the final resting place of Xie Yi-jun's kingdom.

I don't want to be disrespectful, he thought, placing and lighting a stick of incense in the ground and sending a heartfelt prayer to those thousands that perished here.

If all goes well, today I will bring back your King-

Pushing everything from his mind except his current task, Reian got to work. Soon, laid out in front of him were several things; the page he'd copied from the spellbook in Master Hao's secret library, all the ingredients for the aura enhancer, the Spirit Pouch containing Xie Yi-jun's soul, as well as a bag of ground poppies and nightshade, that he'd tried very hard not to inhale during his journey.

I'm putting a lot of my faith in my own abilities and a few scholars half-baked ideas. This better work...

Wen Reian had tried the whole evening prior to write a letter to Xie De and Jin Yu, and all of those at Jingshén, just in case this didn't work out in his favor. The page had remained blank, several drops of raven-black ink dripping onto the surface as the minutes ticked by in thoughtless misery.

What could I possibly say to those who've raised me? Those who I might be saying goodbye to forever? There are no words...

Reian carefully followed the instructions, adding everything to the potion, before swallowing it all. It was a temporary power-enhancer, one that would multiply your energies four times over, but leave you very weak in a very short amount of time. He had to act fast-

Already feeling the spell taking effect, causing his hands to shake, Reian grasped the bag of herbs, opening it with one last look around him at the hills to remember why he was doing this.

Perhaps I've just gone insane...

He closed his eyes, brought the bag to his nose, and breathed.

Hitting the ground was like hitting a pillow after a long day's work in the gardens at Jingshén, or the copyrooms after he'd been punished. Reian was asleep, eyes still wide open, the bag spilled carelessly from his hand as he fell; petals and leaves scattering with the wind that he could no longer feel.

Now, dreaming... Reian recognised the feeling with a sense of urgency, knowing full well that he had no time to waste.

The enhancer will work best if I'm asleep. Besides, I really don't want to be awake for whatever comes next. If I am, I think I might talk myself out of it-

Finding himself in a common dream landscape, one he'd visited many times before, Reian forced himself onto the ground, drawing upon The Spirit Orchard's floor; the sigil that he'd learned and practiced until his hands bled.

Overlapping circles, the infinity sign... it has to be perfect!

"And whatever do you think you're doing here?"

Wen Reian froze as he heard the voice, and when he raised his eyes he nearly started weeping right then and there. Standing before him, wearing a curious smile, was Xie Yi-jun. Alive, and unharmed...

"Yi-jun?!"

The man grinned and Reian felt his hands fall away from what he'd been drawing.

"How are you-"

"Now, Wen Rei..." the man snickered. "Did you really think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye?"

Reian could hardly breathe, "Goodbye?"

Nodding, the King came to sit in front of him with a defeated sigh.

"I wanted to tell you before you go, how proud I am of you..."

Reian almost gasped; "Proud?! For what-"

"It's something most of us dream of, but few ever actually have the opportunity to do; sacrifice themselves for someone they love."

Wen Rei thought for a bit, his heart racing at seeing Yi-jun again. The man was staring wistfully off into the trees, as if he would only be here a short while and had somewhere else to be...

"I suppose that is what I'm doing..." Reian said in a small voice.

He had no idea why he was dreaming of Yi-jun here with him, but seeing the King again like this was only strengthening his resolve.

Yi-jun spoke again-

"I would do anything to go back and have the chance you're having, Wen Rei. To give my life up for you, or Songcai, or my people... you know it's all I ever wanted."

Reian didn't know what to say, but then the King chuckled;

"It's been lovely to see you one last time-"

"Wait!"

Yi-jun had stood again, but Reian didn't know how to let him go. Swallowing back his tears, he tried to say evenly;

"I know there's a good chance I won't wake up, so if you do and I'm not there, I want you to know this was my choice. Like you said, it's my privilege and honor. I... I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time telling you that-"

The King was gone between this breath and the next, Wen Reian blinking in shock as his next visitor scowled at him darkly.

"Wen Reian. I believe it is about time I have a word with you..."

"Master Hao, I-"

Before he could stammer any apology or plea, the old man was pulling a board and some chalk from his sleeve and sitting down across from Wen Rei, beginning to scribble madly.

"Percentages! Wen Rei, how many times have I told you?! Your percentages are all wrong!"

"...um-"

"See?! You had a 80% chance of recovering from the soul enhancing spell, as long as you got proper care... that chance dropped to forty because you took the sleeping aid and are alone out there! And must I show you the probabilities of also surviving what I'm afraid to tell you, is the most dangerous and untested spell that we know of?! It doesn't look good, my boy, not good at all-"

"Master, wait... what are my chances of surviving this spell?"

Master Hao sighed in frustration, "You have a forty percent chance of waking up unharmed if you stop this instant! If you enact the 'Soul Shatter Spell' I'd say your odds drop to 95..."

Reian frowned, "Ninety... ninety-five? But that's an increase-"

"Ninety-five percent chance of death, Wen Reian!" His Master interrupted, "Of never waking up. Of using up so much power and energy, that your body cannot recover, even if I then healed you with my own hands!"

After thinking over his words for a moment, all Reian could focus on was the small chance that it might work-

"So it's a 1 in 20..." he nodded, "One in twenty times that I do succeed. I did pay attention in class, Master Hao. I understand the risks..."

His mentor frowned darkly, lowering his eyes from Wen Rei's and grumbling;

"Perhaps your brother can make you see reason... I have tried all I can."

Where Master Hao had been sitting, all at once Xie De was there and he was launching himself at Wen Rei.

"Ahhh!"

The two tumbled around on the ground for a few minutes, dirt and leaves getting in their eyes as they wrestled...

When Xie De had Reian pinned on his back, the older boy suddenly struck Reian across the face. Stunned and in pain, Wen Rei shouted angrily-

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Xie De glared down at him furiously.

"That!" He cried, "Was for being a right asshole and abandoning your brothers! Wen Rei, if you don't knock it off this minute and come back home, I swear! I will tie your ghost to this mortal plain and raise your corpse from the grave just to beat your ass!"

Reian tossed around and managed to get Xie De off of him, only for them to end up staring at each other with equal parts anger and sadness in their eyes.

Reian was still hurting from their argument when he'd left. Thinking now that perhaps that might be the last time he spoke to the boy in real life, he calmed down...

"Xie Ge, please try to understand-"

His friend wasn't listening.

"Don't 'Xie Ge' me! You're really going to do this to Jin Yu? To me?! I can't lose you, Wen Reian! We cannot lose you..."

Hearing the same words Xie De had said to him that terrible night in the hospital in South Jeizshi, Reian felt hot tears blurring his vision. Gasping, reaching out to his brother, Reian pulled the boy into a hug with shaking hands, but when he heard him speak again Wen Rei jumped back.

"Rei Rei?"

Pushing Jin Yu away, Reian's hand flew to his mouth as he took in the state of the young boy, who for some reason in his dream was shown as the six year old version of himself. About the age they met...

Wiping tears from his face, Wen Rei nearly laughed. He'd missed this little one so much-

"Let me guess, you don't want me to do this either?"

To his surprise, Jin Yu tilted his head curiously and blinked.

"What are you doing?" The boy smiled, "Are you going on a trip? Can I come?"

Too shocked by his innocent words, Reian tried to find it within himself to tell his baby brother where he was going.

"I'm... a trip? No A'Yu, I'm... going to the place you don't come back from."

Like he used to when he was young, Jin Yu didn't react, only sitting up attentively to say in his gentle voice; "Did I do something wrong?"

Laughing and crying all at once, Reian extended his hand to the boy's cheek, holding him softly as he clutched his own chest, his heart shattering like glass.

"No! Not at all..." Reian smiled bitterly, "A'Yu, can you understand when I say that I must try everything I can to be with someone? That I cannot live without them? And even if I don't wake up, it will be enough knowing that maybe the one I love, did?"

It seemed that Jin Yu pondered this for a long while, Reian's hand still on his face, when at last A'Yu's eyes brightened and he nodded.

"Someone you can't live without?"

Reian smiled, "Yes-"

He watched as the boy laughed shyly, as if he'd thought of a great idea...

"Like me, and you, and Xie Ge..."

Jin Yu's sweet smile was replaced in a blink by the harrowed and empty face of Su Lan. A man Reian had only met once, but who seemed to have only one very intense message for him.

"Just end it already, Reian."

"W-what?"

Su Lan closed his eyes and grimaced and Wen Rei could feel that the man's spirit, as if left open in the harsh wilderness, was caving in on itself, no longer wanting to live.

"I'm too tired to go on..."

As Su Lan sank to the forest floor, Reian felt his own body moving too. Pretty soon the both of them were curled up beside Reian's unfinished spell, holding themselves tightly as if that might press all of their broken pieces back together.

Through the exhaustion that now plagued him and willed his eyes to shut, Reian heard the man's voice;

"Forever rest, yes... forever rest now. It'll be okay as long as I sleep."

For minutes or hours, Reian didn't know, he laid there unmoving. No breath leaving his body. It was the fainest sense of movement from in front of him that finally alerted him of someone else's presence.

Beside him Su Lan had gone. Now, kneeling beside Reian was the one person he had longed to see all these weeks the most...

Jin Songcai placed his hand on Wen Rei's shoulder gently. Reian could feel the man's aura warming him and he knew it was him without even opening his eyes.

"Wen Reian," Songcai whispered. "Can you hear me?"

"S-songcai?! You're here? You've been gone... I thought you were never coming back."

As Reian spoke he began to cry again, silently and with no idea how to stop.

"Reian, try and remember what I told you."

The man's words floated to him, almost as if they were being spoken inside his head.

"You've told me so much," Wen Rei squeezed his eyes shut in pain. "What do you mean?"

With a gentle sigh, Songcai explained;

"The last time we shared a dream, that day in the forest, when you healed the fawn... remember what I told you? What I told you, you had done?"

"Healed her past..."

"Yes. Reian, now this is very important. I want you to think about this, and then make your decision."

Waiting, it was a moment later that the man continued.

"Are you doing this to try and heal Yi-jun, Hêi'àn city, and me? Or because you are afraid of facing your past?"

Reian wasn't sure how but he hurriedly sat up, blinking tired eyes to see where Songcai was, but he wasn't there. Reian felt that the healer truly was inside him all along...

He took a deep breath as he heard Songcai's voice again-

"It's okay, Reian. Tell me the truth..."

Fighting with himself to admit what he'd been dreading for so long, Reian choked back a sob as he whispered; "I think... I'm evil-"

"Why do you say that?"

As he'd said those words, it was as if something inside Reian broke. The walls of the emotional dam he'd constructed, crumbling at once and forcing him to break.

Gasping and shaking and crying through the pain, Reian closed his eyes as he felt strong arms hugging him tight. Wrapped up in Songcai's warmth, Wen Rei stammered through the fears he had been drowning in alone all this time-

"Because I killed someone," he sobbed.

"I... took away his life, and gave it to someone else. I know Jin Yu is alive because of it, but it doesn't matter. I murdered someone! I... don't deserve to be called a healer. I don't deserve to even be alive!"

Reian could feel through his violent sobs that Jin Songcai was rocking him and shushing him gently, petting his head like a mother might.

"There, it's okay... Wen Reian? Do you know how I know you are a healer?" The man said gently.

"A legendary one, the likes of which will never be seen again?"

Reian's crying turned to soft whimpers, Songcai still hugging him close.

Finally the man said-

"Because you value life. You feel guilty about taking it from the person you hated most in the world. At the very core of your being, is the desire to preserve and cherish all life. To never hurt, when you can heal. You are not evil, Reian. Anger, hatred and regret only mean you are alive."

Sadness swallowing him up, not daring to believe Songcai's beautiful words, Reian whispered in a moment of pure pain;

"Then I don't know if I want to live..."

Jin Songcai waited a moment, then released him gently. Reian felt the man's energy step away from him, as Songcai said;

"That's your choice-"

"Wait!"

Reian held his hand out toward the energy, knowing Songcai was there on the other side of his half-drawn sigil. Swallowing, Wen Rei nodded...

"I do want to save you," he said. "I want to bring you back, and Yi-jun too. It's not because I'm afraid. It's because I love you, and want you two to live."

"I know..." Songcai's spirit smiled.

"I know that's why you will still make this decision, even after every part of yourself has tried to stop you."

Reian blinked. "Every..?"

His breath caught in astonishment as Reian realised that there were more than just his and Songcai's energies in the forest now.

The boy turned his head, seeing the faces of his family and friends lined up at last. All of them watching him, as if they waited for his choice like it would be their own fate.

As Reian looked into all of their kind eyes, the faces that he'd grown up with, he knew in his heart that he would make this choice for any of them. Forever, and that this was not what he wanted to die doing, but what he wanted to live to choose.

Holding his breath, he smiled...

"I'm sorry-"

Turning away from them, Reian bent over the sigil once more, drawing in the characters as quickly as he could and making sure they were correct. The spell was thus;

Versions of me-

All come undone.

Infinity,

Age, wisdom and power...

As the last line was drawn, the sigil started to glow. Red and gleaming like rubies were shining from deep within the earth. Wen Reian placed his hand over his heart again, feeling as his pulse sped up until it was like he could hardly breathe...

Ah, my head!

Collapsing onto the ground, skin on fire like he was being burned alive, Wen Rei grit his teeth until his jaw ached, a painful scream spilling from his throat as the searing pain in his head grew worse.

Feeling as if he was being pulled into a million different directions, his soul being torn, fracturing and bleeding where it splintered off, Reian's last thought was of Songcai's whispered words and how much he longed for them to be true.

"You are not evil, Reian... you are alive."

That's a pretty thought, Songcai. Reian's mind quipped-

But soon I might not be either.