“No one’s home.” I tell Ravina, as she stares out the window at my house.

“It’s um, nice.”

I smirk. “My parents have too much money. Don’t be intimidated,”

She looks at me. “Not intimidated, maybe just impressed.”

I turn the car off and Ravina freezes.

“We’re going in?” She asks.

I smile at her. “Yeah, my parents are out of town until tomorrow night. It’s just me.”

“I can’t stay for long,” she bites her lip. “Julie is coming over.”

I nod and Ravina follows me as I open the front door and lead her in. It’s starting to get far too cold outside and she was shivering. After giving her a quick tour of downstairs, I show her up into the second door on the left. My room. It’s bigger than Ravina’s by about three times and she notices immediately.

“You have two desks?” She says, looking around curiously.

“One of them was my grandfather’s. They were going to throw it out, so I decided to keep it.”

I just stand there, watching Ravina look at my stuff; bookshelf, the computer. My bed, pushed against the far right wall.

She eyes the bed. “So, this is where the magic happens?” Ravina smirks.

I laugh but feel my face turning red. “Yeah, right.”

She giggles to herself.

I pause. “Well, how do you like my room?”

Ravina nods, her eyes wide. “I like it. It’s very you.”

I smile, “How so?”

She points at the floor. “Theo, is practically spotless to the point of OCD!”

"Well, that can't be helped."

Ravina just shakes her head.

"Are we going to talk about what James said to you?" I ask her.

I watch as Ravina pulls out the chair from my desk. She sits down, her arms crossed, and glances up at me.

"I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?" She says, her voice quiet. "Like you said, nothing matters as long as we're happy.”

I take a step closer and notice that her eyes are still slightly red from crying…

I sigh. This is impossible. Yes, all that matters is that we're happy but I never know if you really are, or if you're just acting for The Game. I can never be sure.

And it's not like I can ask, because that's against the rules.

As I stare at her, and as she stares at the floor, I realize that more than anything I wish this wasn't a game. Then maybe, we could decide once and for all what we really mean to each other.

Ravina gives me a shy awkward smile, and I almost feel like… maybe she's thinking the exact same thing. Jeez, it would be so easy to say; fuck the game, do you really like me? But the consequences of that might be too disastrous.

Was this just us being stubborn or was this us being scared? I settled on the latter as I finally decided that yes, I am more nervous right now than ever before in my life.

This game was high stakes, I knew that when we'd started. The problem is, I thought the prize was the scholarship. Hell no, it was her. This kind, wonderful girl, and she was the thing I'd eventually lose to The Game.

"Ravina, I-" I tried to say, and for a second, hope flashed bright in her eyes.

As I close my mouth, the flicker in them dies just as fast as it had appeared. Shit. What should I do?

It feels like all the words I can possibly say are all stuck in my throat.

"Theo, I don't know what to say." Ravina whispers, echoing my thoughts.

She looks nervous. I’ve got to fix this…

"Me neither, but I care about you a lot." I manage to tell her, holding my breath.

She stares at me. That might have been risky. Does she think it's for real? Does she think it's part of The Game? I hope she knows I'm trying my best to be sincere.

Then Ravina nods. "Me too," she sighs. "I care about you too."

I watch in awe as her face turns red and she hastily looks away. Wow. I believe her.

“Well there we go.” I say.

She gives me a shy smile and I know she wants to change the subject… careful, she’s warning me. Forbidden territory. Yeah, forbidden. And fun.

“So,” she says. “You have to know I’m dying to see it.”

“Excuse me?”

Ravina points at my closet. “Your endless collection of long-sleeve shirts.”

I blink a few times before I realise she’s serious.

Laughing, I end up opening the closet door and inviting her inside with an over-dramatic bow. Ravina rolls her eyes but smiles anyway and stands up.

“Knock yourself out,”

Catching her by the arm as she moves past me, I let myself imagine what it would be like if I was really hers. What I’d say, what I’d do. It might not be all that different…

“Stay out of my underwear drawer,” I tease her.

Ravina snorts. “You wish.”

I leave her alone for a minute, sitting down on my bed and taking my phone out. I couldn’t stop thinking about what James did. He’d crossed a line by cornering Ravina when I wasn’t there…

I sent him a text, knowing he’d read it as soon as he got home.

Theo

Leave us alone

There, that should give the little rat something to think about…

From inside my closet I hear Ravina gasp, so I look over. She pokes her head out from behind the door and stares at me wide-eyed.

“You do have socks!”

Dropping my phone, I yank my shoes off and toss them in her direction. Ravina yelps and slams the door… when she finally opens it again, I fall back in bed and grab a pillow to hug. Still couldn’t sleep without one. Emma found it hilarious-

“No I don’t,” I close my eyes and press my face into the pillow. “Those are emergency socks. I never wear them.”

When I look up again, Ravina is standing right in front of me with her hands on her hips.

“What in god’s name are emergency socks and do I even want to know?” She frowns.

“You know, like in case I need to go to church or something and I need socks.”

Her eyebrows raise, “You go to church?”

I grin and reach a hand out for her. She narrows her eyes but then takes it. Ravina looks cozy today… white t-shirt with a band logo and grey sweatpants she’s rolled up because they’re too long.

I make room for her next to me and to my surprise she lays down. Then I find I’m staring into her eyes, realizing how much more often I should do that…

What is the word for that color? Hazel? When eyes are brown and green at the same time? I smile as I decide, Rav might not like nature, but her eyes are the color of my favorite forest.

“This is a first for me,” I tell her.

She smiles. “What, a girl in your bed?”

I shake my head. “A girl in my room.”

She blinks a few times and her smile softens. I become very aware of the sound of my heartbeat, and every flicker of her eyes as they travel across my face. I feel stuck in an eternity of moments, noticing everything; the way Rav’s bangs are falling to one side of her face, her soft blush that I didn’t notice before. Even the way she breathes.

There’s a pillow between us but Ravina leans in anyway…

I want to touch her just once with no rules. With no thought of The Game or the consequences. I want to be honest.

So, when she closes her eyes and I feel the faintest brush of her lips against mine, I let my eyes shut too and I kiss her finally with no strings attached.

You know how it feels in your chest when you stand really close to fireworks going off? Every burst feels like your heart is crashing around in your ribcage… or the feeling right before you jump into the freezing ocean. That rush, that thrill of being alive.

That’s kind of what it feels like to kiss Ravina.

I can see why there are people out there who are adrenaline addicts. They might be onto something…

Grabbing the back of her neck, I tilt her head away.

“Is this okay?” I say, checking her eyes for any sign she doesn’t want this.

Ravina nods and reaches up to my collar…

I hold my breath as she undoes the top button of my shirt.

She smiles, “Is this?”