The players show up one by one until all of them stand in a cluster in what I’m starting to think is their standard operating procedure. A sort or group meeting thing to kick it off.

Sasha stare intensely at me. Relax, I’ll talk to you later. Luciana walks forward to take the spotlight.

“This training will be in preparation for our game this Sunday. We will start off with Alicia coaching you in corners then I will take over later on, any questions?”

Silence reigned supreme. “Good then it’s all you Alicia.” Luciana give me a slight nod.

“Ok ladies before we go to the pitch, I want you all in the common room so we can discuss where I want you all to stand during corners.” I have reviewed their attributes and read Lucianas notes so I have a vague idea about all players.

We spend 20 minutes going over all their respective roles and responsibilities. The players don’t really ask any questions or ask for clarification so I can’t help but worry. Either they are brilliant or they are not yet comfortable with me.

“Do all of you get the general idea of our plan? Isabella will continue to handle the corner kicks like you are used to, hard balls for the far post.” I continue to draw on a large touch screen.

“Sasha will face the ball running from the edge of the penalty area. When Sasha is absent, for some reason, Hannah will take on this role.”

“The key is distraction and speed; you all have roles meant to create confusion in their defence.” Let’s just hope they get it, it will be evident sooner or later anyway.

“Let’s move on to the pitch to practice what we have been talked about. Sasha I want you there to observe even if you can’t participate.”

We make our way to the field and assume proper positions. To achieve this, I have to direct people and move them around until I am satisfied. Clearly, they are not that brilliant. The practice goes on for 20 minutes or so until Luciana takes over to practice more possession-oriented exercises. This gives me an opportunity to have a chat with our friendly giant.

“Hey, Sasha I’d like to borrow you for a while.” She nods and looks slightly uncomfortable.

“Sure.”

“About what I said yesterday, I intend to go through with it but only if you are interested.” No point in putting in the effort if she’s going to half ass it.

“I’ve been thinking and-“ She suddenly stops.

I take a seat on one of the benches around the field and indicate for Sasha to sit down too.

“I want to become a good player but I will only get injured again and again. My right leg is-“

She cuts herself short again.

“What is wrong with your leg Sasha?”

She responds by looking away and keep silent. She is a pain to deal with but this is part of the job, a frustrating part of the job.

“You don’t have to tell me right now; I already have a plan for how to reduce injury in your right leg. We will massage your leg regularly and use medical ointment to reduce the strain on your leg.” She perks up at that.

“There are plenty of players out there who suffer from recurring injury in one place or another. We don’t have a medical staff, of course, so I will personally see to it that your leg stays healthy.” In return I just expect you to be a great football player who will make my ambitions into reality. That’s not cynical and self-serving is it? It’s more like a quid pro quo. I quid her and she quo me.

“Can you get me ready for the game on Sunday?” God damn this girl is greedy.

“No, just forget about the next game. We will strive for the game after this one.” What does she expect of me, magic? Her back still bother her so it is out of the question to rush her in. This is a long-term investment so best to play it safe.

“I’ll do my best coach.” Well assistant coach but not like I feel the need to correct her.

“Let’s head back to the clubhouse so we can have a look at your back and thigh.”

While we walk, I try to engage in some small talk. “You have yet to play a game in Uppsala FC, did you play often for your previous club?”

“This is my first real team. I played some with amateur teams who needed an extra player but I never belonged to a team.” How the hell is that possible? Her attributes seem too good; she must have played a great deal for that to be possible.

We enter the room designed for medical purposes and I have Sasha lay down.

“I had Luciana buy some different medicine for you. The freeze cream is excellent for immediate injuries but should be used sparingly. This one will be applied to you every day you come here for the foreseeable future.”

I pull up her shirt and massage her lower back while applying the cream.

“I’m frankly surprised you should suffer from injuries like this. You have a very, hmm, sturdy frame.”

She makes an effort to turn her head to me. “Yes, I know I’m big.” She mumbles, seemingly perturbed. Maybe I have hammered to hard on that particular note but I mean it as something good, hell it’s perfect for my designs.

“Being big is good for a centre back, you should be happy about it.” She doesn’t look happy about it. Note to self, don’t reiterate how big she is.

“I would like to have a look at your thigh now, can you turn around?” She complies with my request without a word.

I start massaging her right thigh while doing my best to remember my education on this topic. I’m really not a pro at this, had this been a “real” human and not an avatar I would have bolted. Her thigh is bloody massive, no joke, calling her sturdy is to undersell how thick this lady is.

“Can you tell me where your recurring injury trouble you?” I need more info than a vague, my leg hurt.

“Up.” What? Common work with me here.

“You mean higher up?”

Her reluctance is palpable. What is with her now. I move my hand higher up her thigh.

“Is this the spot?” She shakes her head.

“Use your own hand to show me exactly where.”

She uses her own hand to indicate her inner thigh and then upwards.

“oh, you pulled your groin.” That’s common enough. With the proper exercises and treatment this should be fine.

Sashas eyes shoot open and stare at me. “No! it doesn’t hurt, you know, there.” Oh, she's bright red at this point.

“It doesn’t mean you hurt your, ahem, private part. Your probably feel pain from your front pelvis down the inner thigh. When it happened the first time did you feel a sharp pain?”

Sasha looks around while she appears to be considering my words. “Yes, I think so, there was an uncomfortable twinge, kind of.” Oh right, the game converts any pain to discomfort for the benefit of the players.

“Good news Sasha, now we know what ails you so we are one step closer to getting your body in good shape.” Sasha stares at my hands while they apply the muscle strengthening cream that is perfect for this kind of situation. I don’t blame her for feeling kind of funny about having another woman fiddling so close to her privates, I just hope she can get used to it. It makes me feel kind of awkward, like I’m molesting the poor girl.

“If you would rather to this on yourself, I could help direct you, if that would make you more comfortable?”

“No.” Again with the silence. “You are really good.” I suppose that’s a compliment, of sorts? I’m great at rubbing thighs. Should this whole manager thing be a bust that could be a plan b. Although, I won’t give the special service those kinds of places provide.

This might not be exactly how I envisioned things going. I thought I would be a manager for sure, direct a shitty little team to victory, headhunted by a big German team and bath in money. Now, I’m rubbing a woman’s thigh while pretending not to notice the pleasure she derives from it. Nope, not looking. That wall is pretty cool, is that wood? Huh, who would have thought the house of wood would also have wooden walls inside? Cool stuff.