《bad boy | jjk ✔️》thirty four.

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The machine bed as her pale, cadaverous body lied on the hospital bed. She was so still that if the machine wasn't there I would've thought she was dead.

I took small, slow steps towards her, being careful not to wake her up. It was like if I made one wrong move, everything would just mess up.

I quietly pulled a chair next to the hospital bed as I softly grabbed her long, thin fingers and embraced it with my own.

Y/N's soft fingers were against my own rough ones. I always loved the feeling of her fingers intertwining with mine.

From her wrists, all the way to her forearm were all bandaged up. I had felt like breaking down again just thinking about it. About how she was breaking on the inside. And I thought I was fixing her, helping her.

During the few minutes of quietly sitting there and giving kisses on her hand, she woke up groggily. Her eyes frantically scanned the hospital room and then she focused her eyes onto me.

Her eyes immediately filled up with tears as she looked away from me. "Y/N..." I whispered.

"I wish I wasn't here, Jungkook". She whispered while she ignored my glance. Her head turned away from me, not wanting to look at me. Was she ashamed of herself? Was she scared?

"No, don't say that princess..." My voice was soft. Then she started sobbing. She wiped her cheek were her hand, still not facing towards me. I looked down as a lone tear betrayed me, sliding down from my eyes.

I cupped her face into my palms—making her look at me as I used my thumb to wipe away her tears. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sorry that I haven't been noticing your behavior...I should've known. I'm sorry that I haven't been helping you when you've needed me the most. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. But you're alive, Y/N. You should thrive, you have a damn reason to be here, and you shouldn't just let that go. It's a blessing, something you should cherish..." My voice trailed off. I still don't understand why she would do that, I don't understand why she did all of that for something that will heal one day.

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I had realized that this is Y/N. The one without the shield in front of her, without a mask on her face. I had to accept that. That she can't always be strong for me, or the Bangtan boys. I need to accept that she will be weak sometimes, and that I have to be there for her through it.

I will do whatever I can to fix her, whether it's picking up every shard or every piece to her heart, I will put her back together. That's the thing—I can't live without her. Maybe I could if I had never met her, but now that I have, I can't do that.

"You know I'd do anything for you..." I sighed. Y/N had stayed quiet the entire time, only staring at the hospital door. Although I knew she was listening because more tears slid down her cheeks.

I slowly embraced her into my chest, making sure I didn't hurt her. She seemed hesitant on hugging me, but in the end she did. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." she repeated.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, princess. When you're less drowsy and off medication for a bit." I leaned up and kissed her forehead as she nodded. We needed to have a talk.

I intertwined our hands together once more before she drifted off to sleep.

Jungkook: Vote if you still want me 👀

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