***

I woke up to Quincy snoring in my ear. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but I was up at this point. I rubbed my eyes and climbed out of bed. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Once I was finished I went back into the bedroom and he was still asleep so I decided to start on breakfast for everybody.

I opened the fridge and began to scan it thinking of what I should cook. I decided to make Shrimp and Grits. I have no idea if Jalen eats seafood or not, but oh well. I played some music on my phone to get in the zone while I cooked.

"First of all let me say you can't accuse me of all the things you know that you are guilty of" I sang a loud as I put a pot of water on the stove. My throat was starting to feel better and despite what happened to me the dark cloud wasn't lingering over the top of my head. If this was my peak before rock bottom I was just going to bask in it.

"Good morning" I heard Quincy say.

"Good morning" I smiled and returned to cooking. I grabbed the bacon out the fridge and put it on a baking sheet and popped it in the oven.

"You need some help?" He asked walking over to me.

"Ummm you can cut up the scallions for me" I replied as I poured some grits into the boiling water. He nods his head and opens the fridge.

"You're in a good mood this morning"

"I am alive and generally healthy. Two major things to be in a good mood about" I replied "Plus I'm excited to eat"

"I'm happy to see you smile" Quincy half smirked looking over at me. Whenever he looks at me I get all jittery inside. He is so damn sexy I just couldn't help but stare at him.

"Hey about yesterday," I leaned against the counter to face him "I'm sorry I shouldn't have kissed you. I know you're back with Sydney and that was disrespectful. I don't know why I did that."

"What? Me and Syd-"

"Oooh it smells good out here" Michelle says walking out her room with Jalen following close behind. "Whatchu making?"

"Shrimp and grits" I replied turning my attention back to the stove.

"Paris I didn't know you could cook" I hear Jalen say. His eyes widened when he saw my neck but he tried to play it off,

"I do a lil sumn sumn" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hey how are you feeling?" Michelle asked me.

"I'm okay" I replied with a smile as I stirred the grits.

"What did you and Jalen get into last night?" I smirked at her.

"Girl not a damn thing" She laughed before walking away.

I finished up with breakfast and filled up four bowls with food before handing it to everyone. "If it's nasty don't even tell me. Just smile and nod your head" I laughed sitting down on the couch next to Quincy. "Oooh I did my shit this good" I said as I stuffed ny face.

"It's ight" Jalen shrugged his shoulders.

"Yo ass just a hater" I laughed rolling my eyes at him.

We all kicked back and watched reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel Air while we ate our breakfast. I don't remember the last time I finally felt relaxed, I really appreciated their company. I knew if they weren't here I would still be in bed watching movies on Lifetime.

"I'll do the dishes since you cooked" Michelle said grabbing everybody's empty bowl.

"Thanks" I replied and laid my legs across Quincy's lap.

"So when are y'all going back to New York?" I asked.

"Damn you tired of me already? I'm hurt" Quincy clenches his chest.

"No I was just wondering how many more nights I'll have to listen to you snore" I laughed tossing the pillow at him.

"Ion even snore that loud" He scoffs.

"How would you know? You was in my ear loud as hell last night"

"Nobody told you to be all up under me. You could've rolled yo ass over," He replied "I know you missed me though so I'mma give you a pass"

"Boy whatever" I stood up from the couch, "You could've slept on the floor but I knew you missed me"

"Shut up and kiss already" Michelle adds in.

"I'd rather eat a jean jacket" I laughed as I walked into my bedroom.

I went to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I caught a glimpse at my neck. The bruising definitely looked worse, even on my dark skin it was still quite apparent. My throat definitely didn't hurt as much as it did. It's still just a little scratchy but nothing too major.

I softly ran my finger tips across the bruising and flashbacks of that night began to play on repeat in my head. The way he was pressing his forearm into my neck I didn't think I'd make it out of that bathroom alive. I couldn't even focus on the fact that he was assaulting me, I just wanted a gasp of air. I'm lucky to be alive right now.

I walked out of the bathroom and Quincy was sprawled out on the bed.

"I need a nap" He yawned as he turned on the television.

"It's 11am"

"Never too early for a nap" He laughed, "Don't forget to take your medicine"

"I'm taking it now" I replied grabbing the pill bottles off my dresser. My doctor gave me pills for my throat and another set of pills to fight off any possible diseases I could have been exposed to.

"So umm does Jalen know?" I asked climbing into bed, "I'm pretty sure he saw my neck"

"Yeah, I mean I didn't tell him but I'm pretty sure he could piece it together like I did" Quincy replied rolling over onto his back. We both just laid there staring up at the ceiling.

"I know you said you're okay but how are you really feeling? You can talk to me" Quincy asked looking over at me.

"I'm uhh coping. It hasn't really set in yet I'm just scared about what I might do when it does. I've been through so much this past month and once I got just a tiny bit of happiness this happens"

"What's been going on this month besides us breaking up?"

"My family found out about my onlyfans" I stated. "Some kids at King's school found my account and were giving him a hard time about it and he came home upset and told my parents"

"How'd they take it?"

"King was upset for the moment but we're good now. My parents they umm cut me off. I haven't talked to them since then."

"Wait so they don't know about the other night?" Quincy asked sitting up. I shook my head no.

"You gotta call them. You need them right now more than ever"

"Why would they care? My mom basically called me a hoe and told me she never wanted to see my face again and my dad didn't disagree with her" I sat up and leaned my back against the headboard.

"They didn't mean it. They were speaking out of anger. When you're mad you just say shit and do shit you'll regret later" Quincy replies.

"It's been a month Quincy. No call, no texts. I don't blame them. They'll just say this is my fault and that I should've known this would happen."

"I know I don't know them but I doubt they'd say that. You're their daughter Paris and they want the best for you." Quincy tells me. "You doing onlyfans doesn't change the fact that somebody assaulted their kid. I'm pretty sure they'd be ready to commit murder just like I am"

"What am I supposed to do? Just show up on their doorstep and say 'Hey I'm sorry about Onlyfans oh yeah by the way one of my subscribers raped me. What's for dinner?'"

"What are you apologizing for? Are you sorry about being on onlyfans?" Quincy asked looking over at me. I stared back at him and by the look in his eye I knew he wanted me to say yes.

"No" I replied breaking eye contact. "I managed to find a way to put myself through college and pay my bills without asking for a handout but somehow I'm the bad guy. Yeah my parents would have paid for everything if I asked but I didn't want them to. They're quick to throw shit back in my face. I skip a tutoring session because I'm tired and they say I'm throwing all their money down the drain. I forget to pick Lyric up from practice and they threaten to take my car because I'm being selfish. They don't agree with me being on Onlyfans so they break my phone, take my car and leave me stranded. Trust me, if you were me you wouldn't want their money either" I replied staring straight ahead.

"I guess because I grew up broke I just couldn't understand why you felt the need to get it out the mud like that but I understand now. I'm sorry that I was so quick to judge you." Quincy states

"It's cool, you don't owe me an apology" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Nah I do. I was just worried about what other people would say about my girl being on Onlyfans that I didn't even care about what you had to say"

"I should've told you from the beginning. You had every right to break up with me."

"You're damn right I did" Quincy replies and we both laughed.

"Okay so since we're friends again. Can I ask you a question?" I crossed my legs and turned my body completely towards him "You gotta be 100% honest."

"Wassup?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Were you messing with Sydney this whole time?" I made eye contact with him trying to get a sense of what was going on in his mind.

"What? No. I don't cheat" He scrunched up his face at me. "Speaking of Sydney, we're not back together. I did umm sleep with her though after we broke up. It was a one time thing and I've regretted it ever since I did it."

I nodded my head just trying to take it in. I didn't want to make assumptions but my mind still began to wonder. I opened my mouth to speak but he started speaking before I could get a word out.

"And no I didn't lie about not having feelings for her. It was strictly sex that's it. I don't have feelings for her at all. I don't even know how I gave her 2 years of my life. But that night with her made me realize that I needed to be with you."

"Oh please" I scoffed rolling my eyes.

"I'm being dead ass. Everything just felt so natural between us nothing was forced. You was my girlfriend and one of my best friends all in one so loving you was easy. I don't know how to describe it. Shit just hit different between us. You was hundreds of miles away but somehow I never felt alone."

"Loving me was easy?" I repeated raising an eyebrow. He looks at me confused and then the realization set in on his face. As soon as I heard the word love my brain shut out whatever else he had to say.

"You loved me?" I questioned just in complete utter shock. Did he really just say that?

"I still love you Paris" He replied not breaking eye contact with me.

I stared back into his brown, almond shaped eyes trying to just process what he just said to me. Do I love him back?

The L word has never even crossed my mind. We've only known each other for 6 months it's definitely too soon to be throwing such a strong word around. However, when he broke up with me that shit really hurt. Was I actually heartbroken? Have I actually loved him this whole time?

"Hey P do you know where the batteries are? The smoke detector needs to be changed" Michelle says entering the bedroom. Quincy still didn't break eye contact with me.

"I uhhh yeah. I'll get them" I replied climbing out of bed.