"How is that fancy job of yours?"

"It's good," I laughed.

"I never thought I'd be into real estate, but it's good money and I enjoy it."

"Are you moving back here anytime soon?"

"Mom," Robyn warned. Robyn knows better than anyone how much I dislike being questioned about my decisions.

"I hadn't planned on it. I finally got a good stable job and I don't want to ruin that."

"I just don't understand. It still doesn't make sense to me that you moved nearly four hours away."

"Why? I'm fine and Imani is fine."

"The isolation can't be good for either of you. Imani has family here. Don't you think it's selfish of you to keep her away from us?"

I narrowed my eyes. Iris and I haven't seen eye to eye since I left. We constantly argue and sometimes it's exhausting. She can say whatever she wants, but I did what was best for my mental health. Being here and constantly being reminded of what happened drives me crazy. I don't want to be anywhere near here, and if Royce just happens to be away from her relatives, then it can't be helped.

"I'm not keeping her away. Y'all can come visit. I never said y'all couldn't."

"But you've made it such an inconvenience for everyone. Did you at least stop and think about our feelings as well?

"I could've completely moved out of the state but I didn't," I mumbled.

"See that's what I'm talking about," Iris waved her hands in frustration.

"You don't have to like or understand my decisions, but I would like if you respected them," I continued.

"Unbelievable."

"Mom," Robyn warned again.

"It takes a village to raise a child. Imani needs her family. You can't coddle her for the rest of her life."

"I'm not," my voice began to raise out of frustration.

"You think I'm being selfish but I'm not. I don't want to be here. Nothing about here brings up good memories," I breathed deeply trying not to get too worked up.

"Imani is my responsibility now. Mine alone. I will not put myself in an environment that will cause me to spiral out of control again."

"And what of Dashawn? What would Dashawn think about you isolating yourself and not letting anyone help you raise the child y'all created?" I shook my head. I don't want to talk about him.

"Imani doesn't even know him," my voice cracked.

"Well, do you talk about him? Do you take her to see him? Do you show her pictures of him? Or do you just plan on never telling her?"

"Why does it matter!? He's dead. He left me by myself when he told me he would never leave me," I choked on my own words.

"Asha, I'm not trying to make you upset."

"Yes, you are! You do nothing but question me and try to make me feel bad." I stood up from my seat and stormed off to get Royce.

"Asha, where are you going?" Robyn spoke up.

"I'm leaving." I made it to the room Royce was in and picked her up. She stirred but didn't wake up. I then grabbed the penguin stuffed animal I got for her at the aquarium.

"Asha, my mom loves you. We all love you and we are your family."

"I don't have family."

"Asha, that's bullshit. Don't say that." I grabbed my keys and opened the front door. Good thing I drove my car here, but I was basically about to abandon Robyn because we rode together. I suddenly stopped and turned to her.

"I'm leaving. Are you okay or are you coming."

"Asha." I looked behind Robyn to see Iris.

"I don't want to talk anymore. I'm going back home tomorrow. I don't want anyone to feel like they can't come visit Royce. I may not have family, but she is your grand child and I would never forbid anyone from seeing her. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, especially when you have done so much for me. I just can't stay here. I'm sorry."

I then looked to Robyn. "Are you coming?"

"Yes." She looked back at Iris, and I walked away.

I buckled Royce into her seat and closed the door. I then walked around to the drivers seat and tried my best not to slam the door. I took a moment to collect myself. When Robyn got in the car, she looked at me and asked if she could drive. I said no and we left. It was quiet the rest of the ride to her house. When we got there, I carried Royce to our room and then I left back out to clear my head. I knew exactly who to call.

.....

"I was not expecting to hear from you."

"I know."

"What's going on?"

"I just wanna go get something to drink. Maybe get tipsy and dance without being judged," I pouted.

"I know you're the last person to judge me Penny."

"Damn right."

"Where you at?" I asked.

"Just chillin' cuz today's my day off."

"Cool. Imma pick you up."

She gave me her address and I drove to her place. We went to this hookah lounge to just vibe out.

"Hey, what happened to your friends...Briana, Ashanti, and...what's her name?"

"April!" I yelled over the music.

"Yeah, what happened to them?" She asked.

"Oh April completely moved. She only comes back to visit, but I never see her for obvious reasons. I didn't tell Ashanti or Briana that I was coming down for the weekend."

"Oohhh, that's why you called me," she clutched her chest like she was in pain.

"It's not like that. If I woulda called them, they would only ask too many questions and I'm leaving tomorrow so..."

"I was your backup, it's cool."

"Stoppppp," I whined. "With you, there are no expectations. We can just have fun," I elbowed her in the side. She rolled her eyes.

"How is Imani?"

"She is good. She's with Robyn right now. I left her asleep, so hopefully she doesn't wake up looking for me. Oh, and we all went to the aquarium today. It was both Royce's and I's first time. It was cool."

"That sounds fun."

"It was, but enough about me, how you been?" I asked her.

"I'm great. The club is still good. Meech stepped in when...you know...and everything's been good for awhile now. We got new dancers a few months ago and I'm practically the only old head, but ion care. I can still out dance and out strip all them bitches."

"Do you ever think about quitting?"

"Nope. Why would I? I got it good. Dashawn did me a favor all them years ago and thanks to him, I'm no longer on them streets. But, you already knew that."

"Yea," I nodded getting lost in my thoughts.

"Let's not talk about all that. You said you wanted to let loose so let's dance," she said standing up and pulling me off the couch. I sat my pipe down and followed behind her.

We danced and ordered drinks for the rest of the night. When I had enough, we called it quits and left. Penny was drunk drunk, and I was past tipsy but not quite at my limit. I did have to keep my eyes wide open as I drove her home.

I walked her into her apartment and made sure she was settled. She told me to stay, but I didn't want to worry Robyn and not make it in time for Royce to wake up in the morning. If she wakes up and I'm not there, she might get upset.

When I arrived at Robyn's house, I used the spare key she gave me and quietly entered the house. I locked the doors back and walked further into the living room. The first thing I saw was Robyn laying on the couch. Knowing that she was probably down here waiting on me, I shook her slightly and her eyes snapped open. Relief flooded her face before a frown appeared.

"Where were-" she paused.

"Were you drinking?" She asked sitting up.

"Yes."

"I called Penny up and we went out for drinks. I was responsible about it. I'm here in one piece."

"You have a daughter now, you can't just disappear like that."

"Did she wake up? Did she ask for me?"

"No, she's fine but-"

"I'm good. There's nothing to worry about. I can take care of myself now."

"I know how you get Asha, and it's not pretty."

"Please don't bring up old stuff. Let's just go to bed." I held my hand out to her and she took it. I hugged her side as we walked down the hall.

"I love you Asha. I consider you like my baby sister, so it's only natural for me to worry."

"I know," was all I said. We went our separate ways and I opened the door to a snoring Imani. She was sound asleep. I smiled and closed the door behind me. I took off all of my clothes leaving me in my bra and panties. I crawled into bed. I pulled Royce to me and she immediately snuggled into my chest.

I don't know what shifted my mood, but I silently cried myself to sleep.