Five days later...

"So what is your plan?" Briana asked me.

"I need to reach out to my boss—vaguely tell him why I disappeared and beg to keep my job. I also need to find a new place to live because I don't really feel comfortable in my old one. Oh, and I need to get Imani back in school soon...maybe when she's ready. Also, I need—"

"You need to heal," Briana said to me.

"Sure, but I also need to get my life back in order."

"I think you should take some time off before you just jump back into your life."

"I can't afford to take anymore time off. Plus, I need my autonomy back," I said.

"But that doesn't guarantee that your life will go back to normal."

"I didn't say it would, but I desperately need some type of order right now, and I think I can achieve that by picking up where I left off."

"Do you not remember what happened just last week? Do you not remember how you damn near slit your own throat, or should I remind you? Only people who are mentally unstable would do such a thing," she said.

"I'm not mentally unstable," I mumbled.

"Then how is your wrist?" She asked, reaching over and lifting my hand up. Besides the fact that my hand was still wrapped, and often tender to the touch, it felt fine. My fingers haven't gone numb and the wound didn't get infected. I would say that's a win.

"Briana," I snatched my hand back.

"Ok friend. I guess I'll just be here when you decide to wake up."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"As someone that had to witness you spiral out of control, I can assure you that you're far from stable. But I guess my opinion doesn't matter," she shrugged.

"Your opinion does matter to me, but I'm tired of letting my past experiences define who I am as a person. I just want to move on."

"But those experiences do define you. They have literally made you into the person you are today, and even though you've come so far since high school, you still haven't healed. And I think what happened with Imani only made things worse for you."

"You're wrong. None of that shit will ever define me," I argued.

"Ok, and you're delusional."

I smacked my teeth in annoyance. "Why are you insulting me?"

"Because, I haven't been through even a fraction of the shit you have and I'm not okay at all. Seeing my best friend try to kill herself seriously fucked me up."

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," I was quick to correct her.

"Whatever Asha," she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you acting like this? I didn't agree to come out with you just so you could lecture me on how fucked up you think I am." Briana only looked at me and exhaled loudly.

"Look, I do hear what you're saying. And I will admit that maybe I should go back to therapy, but healing is not my first priority right now."

"See, and that's where we disagree. What's the worse that could happen if...let's say you took a year off from everything—both you and Imani? Maybe you would lose your job and Imani would fall behind in school. Yes, those aren't ideal circumstances, but you know you have a support system right? You are not alone. You have people that would literally kill for you. We can help you get another job, and we can also find Imani a tutor."

"But I don't want to start from scratch again, I already did that shit. And I don't want to have to depend on people any more than I already have. It's not fun."

"I'm done talking," she abruptly ended the conversation. I just stared at Briana in disbelief.

"And you're now mad at me for what?" I wiped at my tears.

"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."

"Because I don't want to heal right now?! I already said that I will go get help. I will. I promise I will."

"Okay Asha."

I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down. "Take me back to Iris's house," I stated. Briana said nothing and immediately started the car. She then reversed out the parking lot and drove off.

Briana initially picked me up so that we could go grab something to eat, but when we arrived at the restaurant, she stopped us from going in and said that she wanted to talk first. I agreed even though I really didn't feel like talking. Instead, I just wanted to eat while I knew Imani was taking her two-hour nap.

But of course Briana had to ruin the mood, and now we were leaving on empty stomachs. I'm so over this damn day.

By the time we got to the house, my tears had dried up and I was just irritated. I paid no attention to my surroundings as I got out the car and stormed up to the front door. Luckily the door wasn't locked, so I just pushed it open. I was tempted to head straight for the room and spend the rest of the day snuggled up with Imani, but I didn't want to be rude, so I went to go look for Iris.

I passed by the empty living room and made my way towards the kitchen. I stopped when I heard multiple hushed voices. I didn't want to intrude, so I turned to leave. I made my way back down the hall, but I stopped yet again when I got a glimpse of who was in the downstairs bathroom.

"Robyn?" I poked my head through the open door. I didn't remember seeing her car, but I guess I wasn't really paying much attention to anything.

"Why are you crying," I rushed up to her thinking that something was wrong. "Are the babies okay?" I rubbed her stomach. She looked at me through the mirror and her tears only seemed to flow harder. Robyn rarely cried, so her tears meant that something was seriously wrong. Either that, or she was just having another one of her hormonal episodes.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought he was dead," she covered her mouth.

"Who?" She shook her head, grabbing more tissues. I stood in the bathroom with her as she quickly tried to fix herself up.

"Can I go check on Imani and then come right—" she suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bathroom. She took me back in the direction of the kitchen. When we arrived, she stormed around the corner and made her presence known. I looked around the kitchen and only saw Meech and Iris. But what actually caught my attention was the distant look on Iris's face.

"Asha has every right to know," Robyn spoke up. I pried my eyes away from Iris and looked to Meech. Why was he here?

"Need to know what?" I asked, eyeing every single one of them. I waited a moment for someone to respond, but no one did.

"You know what? I'm not really in the mood anyway so I'm just gonna go check on Imani." When I turned to leave, I didn't realize someone was standing directly behind me until I accidentally walked into a hard chest.

"Excuse me," I mumbled.

"Asha." My head snapped up at the vaguely familiar voice. I cocked my head to the side and just stared for a few seconds as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Wait, what?" I stumbled back. I was surely dreaming because this shit couldn't be real.

"What the hell is this?" I backed up further into the kitchen and kept going until I was standing far enough away.

"Can we talk?" He asked.

I was hallucinating again. I had to be hallucinating. See, this is why I should've just went straight to the room like I was supposed to.

Without giving it another thought, I stormed over to where the kitchen connected to the dining room and took the long way around.

"Asha." I was only hearing things.

"Asha." I jumped when someone touched me. I pulled away so hard that I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my ass. I winced in pain.

"Asha." He crouched down to my level.

"This isn't real," I told myself.

"I can explain," he grabbed my hand to help me up, but I pulled away and shook off his touch.

"You're supposed to be dead. I-I...we had a funeral. We buried you. We mourned you."

"I can explain," he reached for me again. I shook my head and inched myself away from him. I was slow to get to my feet, but when I did, I made a beeline for Imani. This had to be some sick twisted joke, and maybe if I saw Imani and took a moment to decompress then everything would go back to normal.

"Asha." I quickened my pace, making it to the bedroom in no time. I had my hand on the doorknob—ready to open it—but I was pulled back before I could.

"Get off of me."

"Stop before you wake her up."

"Get the fuck off!" I spun around and shoved him in the chest so hard that he took a step back. I turned for the door again, but he lifted me up off my feet and threw me over his shoulder. I immediately pounded my fists into his back and kicked at his body to get free. But sadly he was unfazed as he carried me all the way back into the kitchen and dropped me in a chair.

"Asha, I was in some deep shit, and I still am. I didn't want to leave, but it was the only option I had to try and clear my name," he wasted no time getting to the point.

"He's telling the truth," Robyn spoke up. I shook my head in disbelief. Of course she would take his side—they were blood. But his word didn't mean shit to me anymore, and it was hard for me to believe anything he had to say.

"The Dashawn I knew wouldn't have run. He would've took care of his responsibilities like a man and just dealt with the consequences," I said.

"You wouldn't understand," he countered.

"Of course not," I scoffed. "Why would I listen to a man that's supposed to be dead?"

"Asha," Robyn interrupted.

"You're just gonna take his side?" I turned to her.

"It's not that I'm trying to take sides, but you're not the only one that's been affected by all this. Dashawn and I sat down, and we had an honest conversation. If I was willing to listen to him, shouldn't you be willing to listen too?"

"Listen to what? More bullshit ass excuses to justify him leaving? He's just like every other man in my life, ain't good for shit but leaving. And even if he's telling the truth, his reasoning is lame as fuck."

"Asha, don't do that," he said.

"Do what? Tell the truth? You took the easy way out. You chose yourself over your family, shit over your own daughter. I might not be blood, but she sure as hell is. And you just left her like she didn't mean shit to you. What have you been doing for five fucking years? I bet you were playing house with some other bitch—probably got a whole other family on the side and that's why you jumped at the opportunity to leave. Then you cover that shit up by faking your death—that's wack as hell."

"Asha, you can refuse to listen to me, but don't sit in here and insult me like I was never there for you," he sneered.

"And what have you done besides run like a little bitch." I could barely get the last word out before he snatched me up out my seat. I yanked myself away, but stood close enough so that he could feel just how pissed off I was.

"Asha, I know you're angry but the disrespect is unnecessary," Meech was next to interject.

"Fuck you too!" I turned my heat on him as well. "All those times I broke down to you and you ain't say shit. I always wandered why you didn't seem so broken up about what happened. Now I know it's because you knew the whole time. Both of y'all can kiss my ass." I then left the kitchen and headed for Imani once again. I wasn't about to overstay my welcome any longer.

I opened the door to the guest room and paused at seeing Iris sitting at the foot of the bed. I didn't realize she had left the kitchen. As I walked around the room to gather my stuff, I tried my hardest not to let my anger show.

"What are you doing?" She eventually asked.

"I'm going home."

"Home? I thought you said you didn't feel safe there. I thought you agreed to stay here for a few weeks."

"I changed my mind," I stated.

"Are you leaving because of Dashawn?"

"Dashawn is dead. That man out there may look and sound like him, but that's not the same person I knew from before."

"How can you say that? Aren't you happy that he's alive?" She asked.

I ignored her question and continued to pack.

"Asha, he's back. My son is back. At first I was confused, but now that I've processed everything, I can't express how relieved I am to finally have my family back together," she genuinely smiled at me for the first time in years.

"I'm happy for you Iris...I am, but I can't do this. Y'all can go back to acting like everything is fine, but it's not for me. He made an active choice to miss out on five whole years of Imani's life, and I can't pretend like that shit doesn't matter."

"But he's here now. It's never too late for Dashawn to be apart of her life. And Imani's so young that she won't even remember his absence when she gets older. Please don't let her be another stereotype."

"She already is because of him. I didn't start this, he did."

"But you can end it. You can forgive Dashawn and allow him to get to know his daughter, and we can all be a family again."

I shook my head and dumped all of Imani's medications into the duffle bag before closing it. I then listened to her soft snores as I removed the covers from her body. I wasn't sure how she was still sleep, but hopefully she'll stay that way for awhile. I didn't need her waking up in the middle of this.

"Asha, please." I stopped what I was doing once I realized that I still didn't have my keys. Meaning, I couldn't leave without my car.

"Asha?"

"I'll be back to get Imani and our things," I said, walking towards the door.

I spotted Meech and Robyn talking in the living room. I debated whether I wanted to stop and confront Meech first, but I just kept going until I made it into the kitchen where he was leaning over the counter drinking a beer.

"I want my car and my keys back," I stated.

"You can sit down and let me talk, and then I'll have your car brought to you."

"No, I want to leave now, and I can't do that without my car."

"That's too bad," he shrugged. "Sit down."

"You don't run me, I said no."

He laughed bitterly, "You wanna get disrespectful about someone leaving, but what the fuck you call this shit you doin' now?"

"This is not the same. I want nothing to do with you, and this is me getting both myself and Imani out of a fucked up situation. So like I said, I want my shit."

He said nothing and continued drinking. He then suddenly pushed off the counter and walked out the kitchen. I was right behind him. He went in the opposite direction of the living room, quickly moving down the hallway and stopping at another door on the other side of the house.

"I'm dead ass serious. I want to leave," I followed him into the room. He continued to ignore me and started rummaging through a set of drawers.

"That's why you're a pathetic excuse of a man, a deadbeat, a liar, a fuckin' worthless piece of shit. You can play the victim all you want but I will never forgive you."

He took a sip from his drink and pulled out a shirt.

"Did you think that I would jump for joy at your return—accept your lies with open arms? As far as I'm concerned, Dashawn is dead. I've been a single parent for five years, Imani will be fine. She doesn't need you, and I sure as hell don't."

"You done?" I could tell I was getting under his skin.

"No, not even close." He stopped what he was doing and emptied the rest of his beer.

"You're dumb as hell if you thought that I would ever let Imani near a nigga that bailed out of taking care of her, a nigga that can't even keep his word, a nigga that—"

"Okay Asha, damn!!" He turned to me. "You want to attack my character, fine, but don't threaten to keep my daughter away from me."

"Nigga, you don't give a fuck about her anyway so why does it matter?"

"Asha, you dead wrong if you think that I would ever let you prevent me from seeing Imani."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want with my daughter," I argued.

"Yea okay, keep being disrespectful and acting like you the perfect mother—like you ain't make no mistakes. Whose to blame for what happened to her in the first place? Tell me who, because it sure as hell wasn't my sister."

"How dare you try to blame this on me when you left us to fend for ourselves in the first place," I raised my voice.

"Stop lying!!!

I jumped when he threw the beer bottle at the wall, causing the glass to shatter and fly in different directions. He then stalked up to me and got all up in my face, making me rear back at the evil glint in his eye.

"I left y'all everything—my money, my people, access to my house and my car, but you took all that shit for granted Asha. It was your negligence alone that hurt Imani and you know it." He balled his fists and placed them both on top of his head.

"You don't know shit of what I had to do to take care of my family. You wanna be immature and throw insults at me and disrespect my name, but who was working day and night to bring Imani back!?" I refused to look at him as he practically barked in my face.

"Man, I dare you to try and keep Imani away from me. I dare you Asha, cuz we can get ugly for real."

"Dashawn, that's enough!" Robyn spoke up from the hallway. I took a step back from him and wiped at my tears. He took a step back as well and started pacing.

"Asha, Imani is awake and she won't stop crying," Robyn said through her own tears. I immediately ran for the door, but he grabbed me before I could leave.

"Dashawn stop," Robyn said.

I started struggling against him. "She needs me," my voice cracked as I fought to get away. When he wouldn't release me, I spun around and slapped him as hard as I could.

"Let go of me!!" My tears ran freely as I tried to keep myself from panicking. When he loosened his grip just enough for me to wrench my arm away, I took off down the hall. The last thing I needed was for Imani to think that I abandoned her again.

I slid to a stop once I got to the room. I wiped my face and went in. "Imani?" Her head snapped in my direction. It seemed as if she had calmed down some as she sat straddling Iris's lap. I took a seat on the bed right next to them.

"What's wrong?" I asked her even though I knew she wouldn't respond back. Imani hasn't talked since the incident, except for the few times when she called out to me in the hospital. But other than that, she hasn't said a word. I took her to the doctor's once we got back to Georgia, and they did a routine check up. They asked her some questions, especially regarding if she was sexually assaulted. Since she only felt comfortable answering to me, I asked if anyone had touched her inappropriately or without her consent. I explained it to her well, and I begged her to tell me that truth.

She looked me in the eye and shook her head no repeatedly, and I believed her. I wasn't there, so I had to believe her. And I damn sure didn't want to traumatize her even more by having doctors all up in her private parts. If she said no one touched her then no one did. I've inspected Imani multiple times myself, and besides the bruising, she looks untouched.

The doctors advised me to send her to a therapist. And after also getting lectured by Briana today, I realized that it would be best for her to go see one. I've been searching online, but until I can find a good one, I'll just have to comfort her as best as I can.

Imani climbed into my lap and rested her head against my chest. "Do you want to stop and get some ice cream before nana Iris takes us to a hotel?" I asked her. Iris looked at me hesitantly, but I only kept my focus on Imani.