I understand that Regan doesn't have any other choice but to accept that offer, even I would make the same choice or maybe worst. I would gladly make a deal with a devil just to save my child's life.

However I can't stop the urge of being angry...

In this world, abilities are important to suppressed the purgatory.

Purgatory is the land of the monsters that wanted to dominate the world. Paladins are the people who could inflict a powerful damage to the monsters than people who has elemental abilities...

That is why Paladins dies earlier and young because the moment that they learn the techniques to defeat the monsters, they're immediately sent off to the purgatory to cleanse the land even a little bit.

In the novel, neither Derrick or Calix became a Paladin, instead the previous Cressida who extremely hates Calix's existence, forced him to go in the purgatory to die. He doesn't even had his coming of age that time...

He successfully survived, but he was seriously injured, his limbs twisted and his internal organs were damaged, if it wasn't for a person who helped him in the purgatory, he would've died.

I sighed as I watch both of my son sleep together. I decided to take Derrick in Calix's room so we could sleep together, the main reason was to avoid Regan.

Just thinking of my son's future as a Paladin is too much... I can't bear to send him off to purgatory.

The Temple is always in short of people to become a Paladins, not only because Divine powers are inherited by bloodline, but also it is risky to wield. That is why the Temple created a sword that has Divinity inside of it, then only the purest soul could wield the true power of that sword.

But how can a sword have divine power inside of it? It is because of the Duchy aswell.

It is said in the history books of this world that the world was being dominated by the demons from the purgatory, and only the descendant of Azriel could deal with them. Since the bloodline of Bizeviron holds the power to suppressed the demons, they needed to use and share their power to save humanity. But they didn't want to bear such burden, instead they had an agreement that they will lend their power by infusing Divine power into swords.

Thus these swords are called Dercas.

Bizeviron is known to be a family of Aristocrats and Businessmen. They were never been viewed as someone who wants to have ties with the Temple but they are bound to share their power with them.

It's not his fault a part of my head said. I agreed.

"I just want us to be a complete family... Is that too much to ask?"

His words stabbed me in my heart like a knife. It hurts.

I'm being idiotic for getting angry at him when he doesn't have a choice because of his need for a complete family with me.

In fact, I am moved. But I couldn't show that for some reason because of the consequences that his decision might bring to our son.

Yet I was too much...

I couldn't take it anymore.

Before leaving the room, I made sure that both of my son is sleeping peacefully. I also put a lot of pillows surrounding them so that they wouldn't fall from the bed.

As I walk the hallway to our bedroom, I was contemplating and fiddling with my fingers.

What should I say? Of course I should apologize and after that?

I kept talking with myself inside of my head until I realized that I am already in front of the room. I went in and checked the living room if he's here, but he's not. I think he remained inside of our bedroom.

As I drew closer the the door connected to our bedroom, I confirmed that he was indeed inside because of the faint rustling and noise of a glass.

Without knocking, I opened the door and went inside. It didn't took long when I found him at the table, drinking liquor.

A faint smell of wine and a strong drink mixed together filled the whole room, it was intoxicating.

"Regan..."

After a few seconds, he turn his head to look at me, his eyes contains nothing but sadness and tears.

"I must be so drunk to even hallucinate like this. There's no way that you'll forgive me quickly..." He laughed with bitterness.

"I'm going crazy Cressida. I'm going crazy everytime you cry, laugh and get angry with me. I can endure it if you push me away because I know that I'll be okay with that much. The only thing that I couldn't endure from you was the words 'I hate you'."

"It'd been better if you just said that I'm better off dead. With those words I could be comforted by the fact that I could atone for my sins."

I sighed and walked close to him. His eyes widened when he felt my hands on his shoulder and chin.

"C-Cressida?"

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for what I said, for lashing out on you."

His eyes calmed down.

I admit that I've been obsessed on giving birth to Derrick because of his supposed to be horrible ending in the novel. I wanted him to be happy, to be able to be love and find love. I want all of us to be able to smile in the future.

At the beginning, I was certain that I'll just live by myself, away from everyone, away from the characters. But then, everything changed when I became pregnant with Derrick. I felt warmth and happiness just imagining him smiling at me.

The thing that I wasn't able to have in my past life was them.

Because of my will to survive in that world, money and business became my everything that I forgot how to form a relationship. Having a family didn't pique my interest until I became pregnant.

But despite being clueless about parenting, I decided to go through it even if it's just me. Even if the father of my child is not with me.

Since I never had any relationship in my past life, I was never interested with the opposite gender. But when I think about it clearly, I became greedy for wanting a complete family with the child that I was carrying.

It was just recently that I realized that I want someone who'll take care of me. In all honesty I don't want Regan. He's rude, moody, I hate his guts and his temper. In short I hate his attitude.

But then I came to love all of him completely. Even the bad things. He may not be the best man in the whole world. But I can see that he's trying.

And I regret saying that I hate him when I was the one who put him in such a position...

"It's okay... I told you that I could endure. For you, for the little devil and for Calix... For our family."

I hugged him tightly, his hand gently patted my back making me calm down.

Something just came into my mind that I just found myself wanting to kiss him and I did.

I was thankful that he didn't avoid my lips, instead he deepened it. His warm hand started to trace the hem of my dress, pulling it up slowly, while the other hand is caressing my waist, kneading it until it went to my bottom.

When I felt his hand went inside my dress, I got surprised the moment his hand touched my bare skin that I let out a sound.

Suddenly he stopped.

"Regan?" I called confused because of the sudden pause of what's happening between us.

I look deep into his eyes, I can see that his eyes are wavering because of a unknown reason.

He took back his hand and gently fixed my clothes.

"I-I... Let's sleep Cressida..."

A/N: so I'm trying to put details about their world that I haven't mentioned yet because I forgot that they're extremely IMPORTANT and also misunderstandings. Still thinking who I need to kill

:>

Jk

Unedited

August 3, 2022

LizzannaWrites