Aislinn felt her body slowly wake up as her mind stretched out along her limbs. Welcoming and embracing the familiar feeling of the burning exhaustion in her muscles. She let her breathing guide her to consciousness, making sure every step she let her body and mind take was within her absolute control. Slowly she let her senses turn outward. Her eyes sprang open as her body registered the fact that she was no longer on the mat where she had collapsed. It only took a moment to realize where she was. She refused to allow her brain to be groggy to let the abuse of her body affect her mind as she pushed it to work, forced it clear, to function through the haze that wanted to take her over.

Refusing to let her muscles tremble she pushed herself up on her bed so that her body rested against the wall behind her head. She didn't have to look down to know she had been cleaned and changed. Her eyes easily found him in the room.

His blue eyes clouded with worry and concern met her blank void grey ones. Relief flooded his as his gaze took in her face hungrily. He let out a shuddering breath.

"You scared me little one."

She just watched him not sure what he was talking about.

Sensing her confusion. "You collapsed. You were convulsing bleeding and then you were suddenly unconscious. You've been out for four hours. I didn't know what the hell was going on."

Oh that. She didn't see why he was so upset.

He stopped speaking. Instead now he was just looking at her. He kept taking deep breaths his eyes haunted by traces of panic and worry.

She didn't like that. Didn't like seeing him like this. It upset her. She felt herself frown in her mind.

"It's okay that's what happens." She finally said. Too uncomfortable with seeing him upset to not speak up. She wanted him to stop looking like that, her wolf didn't like it.

At that his mouth fell open his eyes changing abruptly to equal parts shock and horror. "Y-you ... you KNEW that was going to happen?"

Now she was even more confused. Was he mad? But why would he be? She didn't like him mad at her. It was like this morning, her mind fluttering back to the scene from earlier. Frowning at the thought of the confrontation in the kitchen. She felt herself bristling at the reminder. Definitely not liking that he had been mad at her, it still upset her now, but she REALLY didn't like being commanded. That dulled her unhappiness as her irritation spiked once again, plus they had all been overreacting.

Pulling her mind back she just looked at him. Apparently he expected her to answer him. She debated not but then decided against it.

"Of course."

That didn't get the reaction she was expecting. He was suddenly out of his chair leaning over her his frame trembling as anger blazed in his eyes. Again she was confused. She really hated this. Why was she always so confused? It was very irritating not that she let any of it show but still she didn't like that he was making her feel all these things. He was pulling all these things up in her, things she had never wanted to have ever again. She sighed in her head as she looked at him warily, why was he so mad now? Of course she had known what was going to happen when she trained, but why would that upset him?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded his voice filled with anger as he looked down at her his sky blue eyes blazing and piercing.

Briefly she wondered if she should be scared. And then she found herself wondering at the fact that she found that she wasn't. Even as close as he was, standing nearly towering over her and extremely pissed she found she wasn't in the least bit worried about it. Strange. Again she debated about answering him or not. Even as she thought it she realized she would give in to him even though she thought it was stupid that he was so upset. Annoying mate bonds. Stupid fate.

"Nothing is wrong with me. That is simply what happens when I train so of course I knew it would happen."

"That's happened before!?" His face switching to bewilderment.

"Of course."

And back to anger.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"I was training."

"Training!? You call that training?" His emotions were giving her whiplash. She hadn't spoken, cared or dealt with so many emotions in nearly thirteen years. It was exhausting. How did people live like this? She wanted to stop it, to shut him out and go draw but her wolf wouldn't let her. Why couldn't he just calm down so she could go do what she wanted?

"Of course."

"If you say of course one more time my head is going to explode. Listen love I'm not trying to push you here but you need to give me something. I nearly had a heart attack down there. That was not normal. Training is not supposed to leave you nearly in coma after you collapse to the ground, convulsing and bleeding. Please love you really scared me." His eyes and voice turned gentle pleading as he looked at her, his body shifting so he was slightly closer to her.

She eyed him. Moving over in the bed so she was in the center she watched the hurt and pain flash in his eyes before he could hide them from her. If she thought she didn't like it when he was mad it was nothing to how she felt when he was in pain.

Carefully she kept her eyes on him weighing his every movement and reaction as she patted the space in the bed she had just vacated.

Shock and confusion. It amazed her how open and honest his emotions played over his face. His eyes were so easy to read. Everything he felt projected through their crystal depths, it was fascinating. She nearly almost didn't even need the mate bond to know exactly what he was feeling. How did he live like that? Feeling so much?

Slowly as if approaching a frightened animal he moved to the bed. After every movement he paused gauging her reaction just as intently as she watched his. Both of them cautious to make sure they didn't make a wrong move. Still hesitant Kaiden gently settled himself on her bed. His legs stretched in front of him as he leaned against the wall making sure to keep a safe space between their bodies so he wouldn't accidentally touch her.

He felt her eyes on him. But he kept his gaze forward letting her watch him. Closing his eyes he just let himself float in the wash of relief at knowing she was awake and okay now. He hadn't been exaggerating when he told her he had been scared. He had never been so terrified in his entire life. It took Clay, Blair and Austin to hold him back when Olivia took her from his sight to bathe and change her. When she had left he had lost it and thankfully they had just barely been able to get him outside before he had fully shifted. Richard hadn't fared much better. His oaths had kept him from shifting and leaving her unguarded but even now Kaiden could scent him as he stood in front of her door. He would have heard she was awake and okay but didn't think he would be leaving his spot for the foreseeable future.

Letting out a breath. Kaiden let his head fall back as he let some of the tension that he had been holding fall away. His cramping muscles relaxing into the softness of her bed. The closeness of his mate and her scent calming and soothing his ragged mind and wolf.

Aislinn watched as he relaxed. Watched as the tension left his body muscle by muscle. His eyes fluttering closed as his breaths became deep and gentle. It was amazing how easily all of his violent and raging emotions settled. Before her very eyes the raging storm he had previously been became peaceful and still.

She let her eyes take him in. He was tall, so much taller than her and she wasn't that short. His legs sprawling in front of her clad in dark worn jeans were thick with corded muscles. Her eyes moved up she eyed his tee shirt covered chest, everything about him was just so much bigger than her. His hands, his arms, his shoulders everything screamed pure masculine strength and power. Even without his aura of dominance that came from his title and position you would have been able to tell that this man, this wolf was an alpha. Her eyes finally landed back on the profile view of his face that she had.

Even though her examination of him was completely clinical, and her emotions were completely walled off and separate from her, she had that strangest thought that if she were to take that wall down then her thoughts about this man would be anything but clinical. That was unsettling.

His jaw was prominent and hard, his nose and cheeks gave him a rugged look, the stubble covering his jaw only adding to it. Thick eyebrows accentuated her favorite feature, his eyes. Dark thick black hair just long enough that when he ran his fingers through it, it fell across his forehead and only added to deepen his golden tan. Everything about him was strong, dark and dominating.

Aislinn had never thought about how she felt about having a mate. She knew theoretically what it meant. She understood on a certain level what he was to her, but beyond that she had no idea what the hell to do with this person beside her. As soon as she thought that, she pushed it aside. Refusing to continue down that train of thought, instead forcing it back and away.

The sound of the small sigh slipping past her lips drew his face and eyes to her. She found herself now staring into his. So open and wide, gentle curiosity and worry so clear in them.

Stupid freaking mates. And bonds. And fate.

"I knew that would happen because it is always what happens when I train." Her voice was emotionless as she spoke. Firmly clamping down on all of her emotions, she pushed them completely from her, shutting that part of herself down absolutely. Once again she was void, empty and safe. It wasn't as easy as it normally was though. She didn't like that her control was slipping. If she wasn't more careful these people, these bonds and oaths would change her. They would destroy that control, that wall. And that was dangerous. Very dangerous.

"Why do you do it then?" He asked trying to understand what she was saying. He felt anger and hurt rear but he pushed them off trying to stay calm as he watched her.

Cocking her head to the side he could almost see the raised eyebrow and questioning frown that should have been present on her face at his question.

"It is how you train."

"No love that, is not how you train."

His words were met again with pure puzzlement. He felt his irritation spike.

"That is how I have always trained. That is how I train."

"Okay love I understand you are trying to explain this to me but I'm confused. When I train or when Aus or Clay, hell even Richard, when we train that isn't how we do it. We do not end up convulsing on the floor when we are finished."

"Then you are not training correctly." She deadpanned.

Kaiden had the urge to shake her. Or kiss her. Hell maybe shake her then kiss her.

Aislinn felt her control on her emotions slipping. Why was he arguing with her? And why was he so upset again?

Dragging her eyes from him she stared straight ahead the rest of her becoming perfectly still. Tuning him and everything else out she tried to get her mind into some semblance of order.

Kaiden sat just watching her as she stared ahead. He knew somehow not to push her. He had faith in her, in their bond, in her strength. He had faith that she would come back to him. Some part of her whether she realized it yet or not was slowly accepting him, accepting the mating bond. And he would wait. Would wait for her. Always.

"Training is important. It is important to exercise complete and absolute control. Control of every fiber of your body, mind, and wolf. If you do not, you will fail. Failure is never an option. You cannot fail. I train under absolute control. Every aspect of who and what I am is controlled until I lose it. Every time I lose it and every time it is a failure, but every time I also go further. Last longer. Control further. And one day I will not fail. I will not lose control. I train how I train so that I will not fail."

Kaiden didn't know what destroyed him more, the absolute certainty and conviction in her voice as she spoke or the disturbing words themselves.

"I was trained every day for eight years. Every hour, minute and second of every day I was trained to be the best fighter, the strongest wolf, the ultimate tool for their plans. It took me almost two months before I realized how I could win. How I could beat them. It took me two months to realize how they would try to break me. How they WERE breaking me. How they would try to destroy me, and it was then that I learned how I could make sure that they never did. They could control my body, my mind, they could force me, and punish me, they could torture and starve me but they could not control my control. They could not break what I was. I would never let them take my control. If I owned every action of my body. If my control was perfect then they had nothing. They had no whimpers, no terror, no weakness or cries. No tears or words or tremors. Then they had nothing. They would have no memories, no softness. They would have no dreams or regrets, they would have nothing. Nothing. If I was in control then they had nothing to use against me. If I controlled it they couldn't break it. They couldn't break me. It took two years before I was strong enough. Before I learned how to train myself, how to make sure that I was always in control. I train so that my control will never slip. So that I will never let them win. I train so that I will be strong enough to destroy them. So that I will be strong enough to make them regret everything they did, everything that made me what I am."

He felt sick. Physically ill as he listened to her.

What the f*ck had she been through. How was he supposed to reach her through that? How was he ever going to save her from those words, from those horrors, from what they had twisted her into?

She turned so she was once again looking at him, she was a blank mask. A mask of complete control. Her voice was even, low, unwavering.

"I will never let them win. I will not fail. And I will train and do whatever is necessary to make sure that happens."

He was nauseous. His emotions so erratic and overwhelming he couldn't even discern them. His wolf had faded too the back of his mind to overwhelmed himself by her words and by the pictures they conjured to function. Kaiden had assumed that the eight years yet unaccounted for in her life would not have been the most pleasant but this was beyond anything he had ever imagined. It was beyond anything he even thought possible.

Aislinn eyed him, the familiar words now circling in her mind. The words that had saved her at the early age of six. The words that had been her lifeline for nearly 13 years. The words that had led her to where she was now. The words that would lead her to what she thirsted for, what she craved, the only thing that had pushed her, the only thing she had left. Revenge.

'What they cannot control they cannot break. What they cannot break they cannot control. Lose control and you will fail. Fail and you will fail them. Lose control and YOU. WILL. FAIL. THEM.'