I stirred in my sleep as I heard someone knocking at the door. I took the quilt off and stood up from bed to open the door. As I opened I saw maa standing with tray in her hand. The smell of pancakes hit my nostrils and trust me it was mouth watering. I looked at the clock beside my bed, oh my Allah it was 12:00 pm. I was tired from so much crying so late was okay but I looked at maa sheepishly, in return maa smiled and came inside. She put the breakfast on the table and I went to washroom to get fresh.

When I came out, she was sitting on sofa and had already made my bed. She was fidgeting with her dupatta. That means she was nervous right? She always do this when she is nervous. I sat beside her and she put plates of pancakes in-front of me . The chocolate syrup dripping from its edges making it look more delicious as I put a bit of it in my mouth it was a pure heaven. I savored it till last bite. I even licked my fingers. Maa smiled at me and smacked my hands and told me to wash them. I washed them quickly and came out to ask maa about her nervousness. I sat while facing her.

"Maa, do you want to talk about something?" I asked her softly.

"Yeah, it-its , you know how I was searching some good marriage proposals for you s-so I told this to your khala an-and Maya first you promise that you'll consider it, at least think about it okay?" She said. I quietly nodded. I noticed her nervousness increasing by every passing minute.

"So your kh-khala askedyourhandforrohaan" She said in one breath.

"What come again Maa! I couldn't even comprehend it." I whined.

"Maya your khala love you so much so you know s-she asked your hand for Rohaan. He is a good child you know he...." Before she could say anything further I said no to her. I shake my head indicating no to her.

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Maa, he is a brotherly figure to me okay? I can't maa. Why are you even considering it, why khala even said this. I know she loves me but b-but. Maa I can't do this." I said while panting hard. Maa was looking deeply at me.

"He is not your real brother, he is your cousin, you can marry him Maya." She said while emphasising each word.

"Maa, I know this b-but , But what about Rohaan bhai huh? He will not even consider it." I said with a little bit confidence as thinking that he would definitely say no.

"He is fine with this idea, he himself said yesterday night that he don't have any problem." My jaw touched the floor. Was he serious? Wait, was he pitying me and said this due to last night incident? I was furious at this.

"I'm giving you time till night. Ponder over it. And I want answer in yes. Do you hear me?" She said strictly and stood up to go out.

"Why are you even asking me if you have already decided?" I said in a painful voice.

"It's because of your dad only, Maya I am your mother and I know that he will be best for you." She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead. She walked out of my room.

I slumped down on couch and looked at the blank white wall. Why? Why it's happening with me? I couldn't even comprehend what Maa said. I had always considered him brother. I couldn't even think about him in other way. His name was the reason which lead me to divorce. I wish that I hadn't said about him to Alisha's mom and it wouldn't happen and.... leave it. I was afraid of marrying again. I didn't have any power and energy to take more pain. I was afraid of being so close to anyone other than my family. I was afraid that he would hurt me the same way Zain did. I had already lose trust in people, I had also lose trust in myself how would I even trust him? I was afraid of being more broken. My broken soul was not still mended . I still had nightmares about Zain's cruelty. I never want someone to endure these pains with me.

I was afraid of being loved. I was afraid of every single day coming up.

Ya ALLAH! Help me!

Soooo,

Share your thoughts.....

What will happen? Any guesses?

Will they be alright?