"You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past." ― Chuck Palahniuk

Please VOTE, COMMENT, and FOLLOW me, too...

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"What about her, Xandrous?" she asked. I don't know how to explain it to her that it won't look like ditching Cassie completely because I know her existence, our friendship is inevitable. I'm trying to give her lesser attention because I realized Victoria is right.

I just realized I was prioritizing her more than anyone and it should be Vicky.

I stared at Vicky intently, her eyes were locked on mine, waiting impatiently. "I, I talk to her." My eyes scan her beautiful face and I could never get tired of staring at her all day. Her soft honey brown eyes, brown hair, and her cute upturned nose that would get so red after bawling her eyes out, they look like Rudolf and I love to always give a peck of a kiss. "She knows exactly that all I could give her is friendship and that I love you. And, I can't live ..." I look down on again, then back up to meet her eyes. ".. I can't live without you!" I smiled and I could feel my cheeks getting so hot after telling him what I really feel.

"Are you blushing, Mr. Mailov?" she teases, stifling the amusement but her eyes couldn't hide it.

I chuckled humorlessly, looking away. A few residents walking past us, shooting us with a curious stare and I just realized, we are still at her door. "We are getting an audience here," I said out of nowhere.

"Oh, yeah ... right!" she chuckled as she scans the hallway. "Come in," she steps aside to let me in, and she closes the door behind her.

We walk through the hallway. There's a closet on the right, a shared washroom, another double door. and then another door that could be a room. The design differs from my room next door.

Then led us to a spacious living room. The two adjacent glass windows encompasses the whole wall giving a good view of the busy Hanover square from the living room. The same open space in my living room, only the curtain was different. Mine is black, and it's a remote controlled one, to blocked the sunlight in case I want to watch in my living room. Theirs were a dark brown.

The kitchen is connected. There's a long island counter that separates it. It looks pretty neat and spacious. Very modern. Every color says who lives in it. The interior paint is beige and the furniture was cinnamon. At every corner of the room stood an indoor plant, and on every table, a centerpiece of different hue made with plastic.

My eyes darted to the couch where her friend was sitting comfortable with a cushion on her lap while holding a wine glass a quarter full.

Two couches adjacent to each other were the color of the wall and sitting on a baby pink furry carpet. Cushions were pink, and I almost grimaced. Of course, she loves pink.

That's all I know that she likes. I never even bother to learn what does she likes to do aside from shopping, partying with friends. I never bother to know what is her other hobbies, or what does she likes to eat.

"Frankie!" Vicky called her friend's attention. Frankie tear off her eyes of the screen and whipped her head to our direction and she suddenly stood up dropping the cushion on her feet, when her eyes darted to me.

"Oh, hi, Xandrous!" she smiled sheepishly. Then her eyes landed on the cushion on her feet. "Sorry," she grinned sheepishly and then grab the cushion and tossed it on the couch, behind her, still holding the wineglass by the stem.

"Hi, Frankie!" I gave her a warm smile.

"I'll leave you two. I'll just put this on the counter," then she turns on her heel towards the island counter. She places the basket in the middle.

"Please seat," Frankie said and I look at her and nodded as I thank her. I chose to seat to the adjacent couch. I'm glad it's cloudy and the TV is a bit clear from where I sat.

"Would you like anything to drink?" I heard Vicky ask as she rounded the island counter.

"Please," I said.

"Red or white?" she asked again as she stood behind the island counter, placing her palms on the countertop waiting for my response.

"Red," I responded shortly in a bit higher tone since she's a bit farther away.

"So, are you staying here for good?" Frankie asked. I just noticed she paused the movie she was watching. I have no idea what was it, but I kind of have an idea what genre is she watching based on the woman's dress. A homespun dress.

"Actually, I'm on vacation," I replied briefly as I leaned a little bit on my back, feeling the soft cushion pressing against my back.

"Oh. Nice!" she commented. She drank the rest of her wine then place it on the coffee table.

Vicky approached us with my wine. "Here," she said as she handed me the wine.

"Thanks," I mumbled. She just nodded then sat on my right side a few inches away.

"Would you like some more, Frankie?" she gestured Frankie with her empty wine glass.

"No. Thanks, I'm good," Frankie said in a little Australian accent as she flashed her a sweet smile.

"You know," Frankie stood up. I forget, I haven't unpacked yet. "Do you mind if I leave you two here?" Frankie stared at me, and I shook my head.

"I don't mind at all," I smiled.

"I thought you already did that last night?" Vicky asked her in an interrogative tone, sounding unconvinced.

"Some," Frankie said shortly.

"I just shoved my luggage under my bed," Frankie glared at her playfully and Vicky just rolled her eyes.

"Fine, go!" she said in a resigned voice.

"See you around, Xandrous!" then she sauntered away.

Vicky took the remote. "Would you like to watch?" she asked.

"If you want to," he said as he sips his wine.

"I don't really feel like watching," she said then she turned the TV off, placing the remote on the coffee table. I placed my wine on the coffee table.

"So," I started. I shifted my body to face her. She sat on the couch with her legs up leaning on her back. Her eyes were trained on me with a bored look. I felt a little unwelcome and it hurt me to see her so distant to me now.

If only my head knocked hard before this happens.

"Is my presence bore you?" I asked absentmindedly.

She sat upright, placing his feet back on the floor. "No," she abruptly responded, shaking her head. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like that," she said. "I just still can't believe you're here. When I already accepted the fact that we will never be together again. It's like the fate is playing on me. You know? I'm fine now. To be honest, the whole month, I never thought about you. Then all of a sudden, you showed up!" she rambled sighing momentarily.

"I'm sorry." Was all I said. Words were jumbled in my head and I couldn't find the right words to say. My heart stuttered with fear and I'm starting to lose hope.

"You remember?" her eyes glistens, "after several months of our breakup in grade 11, I wanted you back, then I saw you kissing Cassie," her face shows disgust and it mortified me. I remember that day she's so broken and suddenly she kiss me. I didn't know she saw that. "I was devastated. I hate you for lying. I hate you but I still wanted you," she looks away and my heart clenched. I felt a lump in my throat, swallowing hard. I feel her pain, her hatred and slowly by slowly, I'm feeling hopeless.

"I didn't kiss her back, Vicky. I was surprised when she kissed me, that I didn't know what to do at first," I said defensively.

"I came to win you back anyway," she continued, ignoring my words. "I thought I will show you that I'm better than her. I gave you the only thing you always asked me, I thought it would be enough for you to pick me, but I'm a fool. You still went with her," she chuckles bitterly.

"Vi," even saying her name was hard for me. I could feel the heaviness of her words. Why did I just realized it now? It must have been hard for her, and have suffered. Even though I keep thinking my actions doesn't mean anything, I didn't pick Cassie, but it says otherwise.

"I'm sorry. I'm really am," was all I could utter. My heart gets heavier each second. Hearing it all now, the hole in my heart getting bigger.

"How many times did I tried to compete with her for your attention, Xandrous? How many times, did I let my pride down, but I always failed miserably. That day in your penthouse was the las straw. I came for the last time, maybe to clarify things and in my heart, hoping this will lead us back together. I know you've been complaining how I am a bitch, acting a slut, selfish, and never cared about others, or you. I saw her in your place, wearing your shirt, everything I wanted to say just evaporates. I was so jealous. I wanted to be the one wearing your goddamn shirt. I wanted to be the one living with you in your place. I wanted to be the one that only that close to you," she wipes her eyes harshly without looking at me. "I wanted to be the only one in your heart!" she smiled at oblivion and it tear me apart. She can't even look at me.

My heart bleeds at the sight of her and I'm stupid and fool for causing it all.

I just realized I the lone tear that settled on my right cheek. And let another one escapes my eye. With a heavy heart, I stared at her, blaming myself for all of these. She has gone through a lot, and I thought, she was alright.

I, ... I was alright, I think. The past years, without her, it never dawned on me until now, how I screw it all up and that, because of me, why she was acting like a bitch which I always calls her, and now I just wanted to beat myself.

I'm a big asshole and I don't really deserve her.

But, I needed her.

I want her back.

SO BAD!

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A/N: Sorry guys. It was so short. I'll promise to make it long next time. Please let us know what do you think... She pours it all out now, lol.

I'm late to work. I'll try to update more this weekend. I'm feeling a lot better now.