Standing in front of the mirror I stared at myself. I could see the dark circles under my puffy eyes.

Taking a deep breath I lowered myself to the ceramic sink and splattered water to my tear stricken face.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply to calm myself.

How did he find me? I made sure no one gave him any information about my whereabouts, still he found me.

Who am I kidding?!! Ofcourse he is Mr. Vedant Aryan and he could make everything possible.

Sighing I turned off the tap and grabbed the towel to pat my face dry.

In these two months I was trying to move on. From all the memories of him. From all the heart breaks he caused. But only if that was easy.

I thought I could do it once again because I did it before, but I was so wrong. I think I have fallen too deep this time that I couldn't find any escape route.

With Karan all the memories where terrific there was nothing sweet about him. So hating him was uncomplicated.

But with Ved, it was not that easy. With him everything is the opposite. This time the heart break was so intense that I couldn't gather all the shattered pieces of my broken heart.

I want to hate him for what he put me through but I couldn't bring my heart to do it.

He had crept his way into my heart silently, quietly but deeply. So deeply that a single thought of him brought back the non stop flow of tears to my eyes.

Every night I cried making my pillows wet. I hate him for doing this to me. For making me fall for him.

Even though I signed the divorce agreement I never received any news of him proceeding it. And a part of me was happy because of it.

It left me with a little hope that maybe someday he will find me. He will come to me.

I don't know why do I still think like this? A small part of me want to let go of him but the big part is longing for him.

I missed him. I missed him badly that I wanted to run back and get buried in his strong arms.

I wanted to sleep in his embrace every night with out any nightmares and heart breaks.

But I was so angry at him. I was angry that he don't trust me. I was angry that he believed a photograph above me. I was angry that he don't feel the same way about me as I feel about him. I am angry that he don't love me like I love him.

And I am also scared. Scared of getting hurt again. Scared of being a second choice. Scared of taking as granted.

I hate myself because I couldn't bring myself to hate him. I hate that he is making me so vulnerable.

I comforted myself by telling that if I see him again I will not be scared. I will face him.

I will stand up for myself and show him what he had lost. I promised that I will never let me forget how he questioned my character? How he crushed my trust?

But everything went downhill when I saw him in the hotel. That sad black orbs looking at me with longing made me powerless.

He looked tired. There were dark circles under his black eyes and his hair has grown longer than usual. His always perfect beard was not trimmed this time. And more over he looked like he was in so much pain.

And that made me want to rush to him and cup his face in my hands and tell him that everything is fine. But it was not. Everything we had crumbled that night.

But I couldn't bring myself to rub it on his face. So I ran from him.

Kavya was always right. I can never hold a grudge against anyone. No matter how bad they hurt me.

And I almost gave in to Ved when he kissed me. My finger ran across my lips unknowingly.

The kiss was rough, passionate and desparate. We both missed this and I couldn't hold back as I wanted to.

He kissed me like his life is depend on it. It was like he wanted me to feel all his sadness and regret. That he missed me like I missed him. That he wants me to know that he is sorry.

But that was not enough for my bleeding heart. This time I won't give in easily.

Every time I forgave I was hurt more and I can't keep doing it. I can't always be this weak. I have to be strong for me. So I pushed him back with all my remaining sanity.

He was shocked at first but it turned into hurt and regret. He said he is sorry but a sorry won't fix it this time.

And when that tear slipped down his cheek it took everything in me to stop taking him in my arms and console him.

I know he regret his actions but I was scared to take another chance. I can't take another heart break.

I know it won't took him so long to convince me because I am a fool who is madly in love with him and I can't stand to see him getting hurt.

So I did it again, I ran.

***************

Changing into my work clothes I walked into the kitchen. Taking a bowl I poured the cereal and milk in it. I had an early shift today at the hotel.

Taking the bowl with me to the living room, I sat on te sofa and switched on the TV before taking a scoop full of cereal and stuffing mouth.

While chewing the cereal I flipped through the channel and stopped on a national news channel which was showing some breaking news.

Out of curiosity I kept watching the news about a asharam which was in the same city I am living.

It was about the main Godman getting arrested for drug dealings and many other illegal activities.

The news said that the police had to forcefully get inside the asharam and conduct a raid.

A great commotion took place in the ashram and three people were shot.

The news was showing the chaos taking place in the ashram. There are ambulances and police vehicles surrounding the main gate of the ashram and a stretcher was rushing out through the gate.

The camera rushed towards the person lying on the stretcher focusing his face.

The bowl fell from hands and my breath hitched in my throat. I stoop up the next instant not believing what my eyes are seeing.

I could clearly recognise the familiar face lying in stretcher. His long hair was a mess and was covering his half face. There were bruises on his handsome face and the white shirt he was wearing has turned into a shade of red.

The last thing I heard from the tv is that he was shot. My blood turned into ice cold and my legs became wobbly.

Defeated, I fell back to the couch. Numbness covering my whole body.

I sat there for sometime giving time to my brain to register what just happened.

The ringing of my phone brought me back from my thoughts.

Looking at my phone I saw Kavya's name flashing on the screen.

With a lump in my throat I answered the call.

"Hari, have you seen the news?" She asked worried and then I broke into tears.

************