Some idiot at work told me to change my alarm to 'natural', the setting where the sound gradually gets louder as to wake you from your sleep 'peacefully' and 'to reduce stress'.

Well, guess what? Doesn't work!

I feel around my covers, trying to follow the muffled vibrations. The alarm chirps are getting louder and louder as I pat my duvet frantically. Argh!

This is ridiculous. I jerk up and aggressively fling my covers to one side. In the corner of my eye my phone soars through the air.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Hurling my body forward I try to catch it mid-air. But I'm not Neo, and this isn't the Matrix. My phone lands on the floor with a thump.

Mentally crossing my fingers that my laminate hardwood floors didn't crack my screen, I gingerly pick it up. Peeking with one eye, instant relief washes over my body as I trace the original 3 cracks, and no new additions. Oh, thank God!

I scroll past three missed calls, to the voicemail from Kimmy.

"Lilah! Are you there? Pick up pick up pick up! I will keep calling! LILAH! Ok, fine, don't answer but remember you're meeting me for a quick lunch before the event today. You promised! Ok, I'll see you at Paladino's? OK? Ok."

For as long as I've known Kimmy, her messages have always been the same. It's like she doesn't understand that once the phone goes to voicemail, the line stops ringing and I can't pick up. And yet, it's always "pick up pick up pick up". I like that though, her consistency; she has a way of making me feel grounded, I like knowing that if the whole world goes to shit, she'll still be there, asking me to pick up.

The sound of the door buzzer forces me to finally get out of bed. I really need to put a 'No Soliciting' sticker by my name. I don't even know how people find my apartment. The front door is hidden just off the side of Min E Mart, the bodega I live above. There are only three names listed on the door phone, mine, Johnny who lives above me, and Mr. Sanders the owner of the store. I really lucked out with this apartment, the rent was cheaper than the dorms at Columbia and only a five minute walk. I thought I would have moved to a bigger place after finishing school but life happened or halted.

I listlessly press the intercom. "Hello?" Please don't be a Jehovah's Witness. I'm not in the mood to be preached to right now. Any other day I'd welcome it with open arms. But not today.

"Hi. Lilah? It's Andrew. I've got your mom's mail here."

Why is he bringing it today? I thought we agreed every two weeks. I hope he doesn't back out of our arrangement. I don't want to have to drive to upstate New York every two weeks.

"I'll be down in a minute."

I make my way downstairs and find Andrew peering through the holes in the frosting of the front entrance. Why is this rickety door always so hard to open?! I swear my hip is going to have bruises.

"Hi Andrew."

Andrew hands me a thin stack of envelopes. "Sorry for coming by without calling. Marcy and I are going out of town for a few weeks so I thought I'd drop these off before we left." A few weeks? Great. That means I will have to drive up there.

"Thanks Andrew, I appreciate it. You and Marcy have a good trip, ok?"

Andrew's head turns just as I'm closing the door. "How's she doing?"

"The same," I mutter as the door slams shut. She's been the same for almost five months, at this point I don't even bother asking the doctors for updates.

I toss the five envelopes on the console table in the hallway. Maybe I'll call the post office and ask them to redirect all the mail to this address, that way Andrew wouldn't have to come by so often and I wouldn't need to answer his questions.

My phone vibrates as I start organizing the bills, it's Kimmy. You better be awake and getting ready!

I'll go through these later. I doubt any of them say anything new.

***

Outside the air is crisp. The trees lining the blocks have all changed colour, varying shades of red, yellow and orange leaves scatter and float around me. It's mid-October and the breeze has me shivering within the first five minutes of being outside.

Do I have time to run back and get a jacket?

I check my watch and start the mental calculations. It would take me five-ish minutes to walk back, then I'd have to open the door, go up the stairs, open another door, choose a jacket, and then start the trek in reverse all over again.

Mm... nope. I scan for different options.

The coffee shop across the street has no line. At least if I have a hot drink to hold my hands would be warm. My dad always used to say that if your extremities are cozy, you'll be able to mosey. He was a dork, I know, but I think there's some merit to his adage.

Warm air greets me as I enter through the front doors. The soothing aroma of freshly ground espresso beans permeates the air. The girl at the till smiles and waves me over.

"Hi ma'am, what can we get for you today? We have a very delicious dark chocolate raspberry mocha as our monthly special." She gestures to the sign on the counter.

According to the sign, this concoction is "Misty's Choice". I've never understood how this particular marketing tactic was supposed to entice customers. Why should we care what Misty chooses to drink? For all we know, she could have the palate of a plebeian.

Lowering my voice I whisper, "Doesn't anyone drink normal coffee anymore?"

Expecting at least a small smile to appear on her overly round face, I'm taken aback by her lack of amusement. She just clears her throat and brushes her apron quickly.

Her hand glides over her nametag. Of course. She's Misty. Great. Trying to recover from inadvertently dissing her personal drink of choice I smile meekly and order a small black coffee.

"Alright, that will be $2.50. Please."

"Sure, one second." Why is there so much stuff in my bag? I'll organize it tomorrow. Finally finding my wallet, I pull out my debit card and tap it. The machine beeps twice then "transaction not approved" appears on the screen. Shit.

"Oh, sorry ma'am, it looks like your card was declined. Do you have another?" A sly smile forms on her face.

"No, sorry, I only have this card, but just give me a second, I'll transfer some money around."

I step to the side so the next customer can order. I swear I transferred money from my savings yesterday, did I not press confirm? Ugh, I'm already running late, Kimmy is going to kill me. I really should have just gone back to get my damn jacket. This is taking just as long. Clearly my calculations have betrayed me. Fumbling around my purse I finally find my phone.

As I'm opening the banking app to check my balance the barista interrupts me.

"Excuse me, excuse me ma'am". Misty's holding a coffee cup.

She hands me the cup with a little too much force. "Here, the gentleman behind you in line offered to pay for this".

"Who?" I look around curious.

She points to a man walking out the door in a black sports jacket. I catch the stranger's sharp green eyes for just a second. He winks at me as he raises his coffee cup slightly in the air.

Immediately my face burns up and my eyes dart to the ground. Oh hello, Abercrombie! I quickly tuck my hair behind my ears and turn back around, but he's already gone.

Who was that?

Misty clears her throat again and motions for me to get out the line. There's no one even behind me!

"I'm going, I'm going!" I scowl at Misty as I exit the café and briskly walk to Paladino's.

Some people are so rude! I would think that the owners of the cafe would want their staff to be friendly considering their coffee tastes like acid. Ick. Just as I approach the restaurant my phone vibrates in my bag.

"Yes Kimmy, I'm here, chill out."

"Umm, hello, is this Delilah Sterling?" A voice cautiously asks. I check the caller ID. Oh. Not Kimmy. I clear my voice and respond.

"Hi, yes, sorry, this is she."

"Hi, this is Caroline calling from Happy Living Care Centre. We've encountered a little hiccup with your bi-weekly payment today." There's a brief pause. "We require the missed payment of $600 within three business days, otherwise your mother will have to be transferred out of our facility." Fantastic.

I let out a tiny sigh. "Hi Caroline, thank you so much for letting me know. My accountant must have forgotten to release the payment. I'll make sure the balance is paid as soon as possible." I don't actually have an accountant, but they tend to show you more respect if they think you do.

"Oh lovely, that's lovely. Well have yourself a wonderful day Miss Sterling," Caroline says with thinly veiled contempt, in an overly cheery voice.

"Oh no problem, have a very very nice day too!"

By the time I hang up, I'm standing in front of Paladino's. In my peripheral there's a hand waving.

"LILAH!" Kimmy shouts from a distance. She's sitting under a heater on the patio. Kimmy smiles and jumps out of her seat to give me a hug. Her smile disappears as she scans my face.

"You look blue, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Just some payment problem with Happy Living. It's fine now."

"Did they increase the care fee again?"

"Yeah by $200. I honestly don't know how I'm going to keep up if they keep asking for more money. I don't even think the bank will grant me another loan."

Kimmy reaches out and grabs my hand. "You know that I could always lend you the money right? It's not a big deal, Lilah."

I sigh. This again. "Kimmy, I'm not going to burden you with my problems. She's my mother and my responsibility. Plus, it's common knowledge that you're never supposed to borrow money from friends."

"We're not friends, we're family."

"I know Kimmy, but I'll figure something out." I half smile.

"Yes! You will, you always do! And at least your mom is in capable hands. I'm sure she's grateful for that."

"What?" I snap. "Grateful? I'm pretty sure you need to be conscious to feel gratitude, Kimmy."

"Lilah..." Kimmy lets go of my hand. "She's your mother..."

I stare at Kimmy. "Can we please not do this right now, okay? Let's just have lunch".

"Yes, okay fine. But Lilah, you're going to have to forgive her one day."

"Someday, just not today."

A waiter passes by and I wave him over. "Can I get a vodka soda, please." The waiter nods and disappears.

Kimmy looks at me with pity, or maybe it's sympathy. Same thing really. "Lilah, we need to work soon, maybe you shouldn't drink."

"It's just one drink Kim, don't worry, I'm not my mother." And I never will be.

"That's not what I meant, and you know that." I start flipping through the menu but Kimmy stops me. "I already ordered us small salads." Kimmy wiggles her eyebrows.

"Small salads?" This could only mean one thing: buffet!

"Yeah! Yves called and said tonight's event is going to have a ginormous seafood buffet!" Kimmy's eyes light up. "I love sneaking food, it always makes me feel like a spy!"

"Ah, Yves, our inside culinary man!" I laugh as our salads arrive. I don't know how she does it but Kimmy has a way of turning my mood around in seconds.

We eat in silence for a few minutes until Kimmy starts fighting with her fork to pick up a kalamata olive off her plate, sighing heavily after each failed attempt.

This is my cue.

"Ok, what's wrong?"

Kimmy jolts up as if 5000 volts zapped her chair. "Guess?!"

With Kimmy, there's not much you can't guess. This girl is as predictable as it gets. I've always told her that she would be the perfect mark for an entry-level stalker; they'd barely have to do any ground work! Her predictability, matched with her incessant posting on social media, leaves very little room to guess anything.

"Jason?" Based on her recent Rupi Kaur reposts, I would be shocked if it was anything else.

"Yes, Jason. We broke up again."

'Again' means for the second time this month, fourth time overall. But hey, who's keeping track?

Kimmy and Jason met several months ago while in line at a juice bar. She accidently picked up his protein shake, he got her pressed green juice, and the rest was history.

If history included shouting matches at bars, unreturned text messages and the constant fear of infidelity.

"What happened this time?"

Kimmy takes a deep breath. Her version of verbal stretching. "So, I was driving to my 9 a.m. yoga class yesterday, and I saw Jason on the corner of 84th and Columbus, holding two cups of coffee in his hands, and his clothes looked all wrinkly. So, I called him right after my class, and broke up with him." Kimmy nods her head repeatedly. "Can you believe that bastard?"

"I think I need a little more info, Kim."

Kimmy sighs and takes another deep breath. "Jason's a club photographer, right? So, what's he doing awake and outside before 9 a.m. on a Friday before he has to work all night? And my yoga studio is like two blocks away from V's apartment." Kimmy takes a short pause. "He totally slept with her and then went out to buy her coffee!"

"Did he actually admit that to you when you called him?"

"Jason? Admit to any wrong-doing? C'mon Lilah, he won't even admit he's only a size 8 in shoes. You think he's going to admit to cheating on me? But this is it! He can beg and grovel all he wants, but this time I'm really done!" Kimmy declares as she waves her credit card at the waiter as he passes by.

"I think it's about time that Jason left the picture, I don't know why you kept him around as long as you did. You should have just ended it after what happened at our grad party."

Kimmy exhales loudly. "You're the one who kept telling me that arguments are normal parts of relationships and that I should try to make one last longer than three months."

"Yeah, arguments are normal. But kicking over tables and throwing plates to get attention? That's so childish. I don't know why you didn't listen to my advice when you were dating Brett, or that cute French guy Claude. At least they were well behaved."

Kimmy grabs her car keys off the table. "Well, clearly long term relationships don't work. So, I'm back to seasonal shopping."

On the way to Kimmy's car I review the event outline for tonight. We're working a fundraiser for ocean conservation, with the theme of Casino Royale. I chuckled when I read that and asked my boss if George Clooney would be there. Donna didn't get the reference and referred me to section E of our employee policy that states staff don't have access to the guest list.

A text notification appears on my phone from Happy Living. "Miss Sterling, just a friendly reminder that your outstanding balance is due in 3 days, click here to pay now."

Putting my phone away, I sigh and turn to Kimmy as she starts the car.

"You're going to have to drive faster than 25 miles/hour if we're going to be on time."