《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝙲𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝙴𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚜 ✆
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✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
I think baseball hats are magical
Like when I wear baseball hats I'm suddenly like 1000x hotter
Which is saying something because without a baseball hat I'm as pretty as a blob fish
Blaze it!
Kidding!
Don't do drugs, kids
Drugs are bad
You answered
Don't blame me
I'm just the innocent bystander
Eh, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess
I came out here to have a good time and, honestly, I'm feeling so attacked right now
Suck my dick, Parker
So what I'm hearing is that if I had one, you would suck it
Like how I put my oh so real dick in it
So, back to why I called you!
Baseball hats are like a gift from the heavens
I put one on and then I'm suddenly Aphrodite
Because I haven't slept in like three days and have consumed maybe twenty-seven cups of coffee within that period of time
I JUST ORDERED A SHIT LOAD OF HATS OFF OF AMAZON!
PETER, BE PROUD OF ME!
But, Peter, baseball hats!
So I've been told
So long, loser
Hope you rot in hell
✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
Oops
That depends on how you look at the situation
So like I was in ap chem doing my lab like the good student I am
Peter, shut up and let me speak
As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I was finishing up the equations while my partner went to get the chemicals we needed
So when they came back, they poured one chemical into the beaker and I poured in the other one because teamwork!
Turns out they grabbed the wrong chemical and boom! We're in quarantine
I am confusion
I should probably check out of this conversation but like... I'm intrigued
Just gonna put this out there but we're free now
And the other kid is getting a week detention apparently. I'm in the clear
No jail for me!
I NEED EVERYONE TO LISTEN UP
Yes or no. Do baseball hats make people hotter?
Yes this again
Ok nvm. The queens have spoken so I've concluded that the answer is yes
I've have drank 35 cups of coffee within the past 4 or so days
It's a skill I possess
My claim that I'm Asgardian has finally been proven!
⚡️⚡️
Yup! It's me, Peter, and our friend Ned!
Good
O.o
Did you just admit that Thor is better than you?!
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8 97
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