《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚔𝚎 ✆
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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
No hello?
Who have you become
Damn, I brought this upon myself
What do you need Spandex-Boy
Ok, Spandex-Boy
I won't call you Spandex-Boy
I don't think Karen would like to be called that
Good for her
You said patrol was boring, right?
Some random kid that lives by me is having a birthday party
I'm pretty sure he likes Spider-Man
You should go and crash the party
No it isn't
Free cake
Good publicity
Trust me, as the Avengers' self proclaimed PR manager, I think you should crash the kids party
Yeah
I can hear the kids screaming
The parents are chill though
Suddenly I think it's a bad idea
You got me there
Once you're there, I'll head over
I don't know
Maybe Timmy or something generic like that
Oh my god! Timmy!
TiMmY!
I can see every equation!
He's about this tall, clearly gay but we haven't had the talk!
TiMmY?!
Find a rock and write happy birthday on it
I think he would like it
Then don't bring anything
Just show up like you were meant to come
Hey! Don't come at me like that
You've done a lot of stupid shit
This wouldn't even make the top 100
I do it out of love
Also, I like making people suffer
Do you think my parents would be mad if I take one of their unopened wine bottles and give it to the kid's parents as a peace offering?
I'm going to give them some wine
It sounds like they might need it
I think they'll like it
I was going to give the kids some stickers but I can't find any
A post-it note that has a cursed drawing on it and says big boi would work fine instead, right?
Shrek wearing a bikini
It's the only thing I have!
Genius!
Did you decide if you wanted to bring anything
Yikes
Is your suit hot?
Wicked
You should put like some clothes over it then
I think it would be fun
It would make up for your lack of gifts
I am bringing wine and my work of art!
That sounds good
Didn't Harley give that to you?
Nice
Don't button it up
Also wear a bucket hat if you have one
It'll really pull the look together
New York fashion week will have some competition
Spider-Man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and a bucket hat swinging through New York is definitely a sight
Well, I'm hungry so hurry up
I want my free food
Good!
See you then, Spandex-Boy
✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
sᴇᴇɴ 𝟹:𝟻𝟸 ᴘᴍ
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