❝she's born with my looks❞

gojō satoru quickly learned that he was not father material.

in fact, he was far from it.

how he became a father was even more ridiculous, as it was a bright, sunny da—no. it was actually not bright and sunny. matter of fact, it was very cold and snowy.

the entire neighborhood was covered in a blanket of wet, crunchy snow, with icicles so long that they could probably stab someone.

an urgent knock was heard as satoru lazily swung open the door, yawning as the male had on mismatched socks and a cup of coffee in one hand.

a basket with multiple layers of blankets was placed on the man's doorstep, to which satoru had scratched his head as he saw a messily written note beside the basket.

"marri?"

as soon as the white-haired male had uttered the name, a soft sniffling was heard from the multicolored blankets.

satoru immediately snatched the basket's handle and brought it inside, slamming the door and locking it as he sped walk to the living room of his warm apartment.

"please be a cat. please be a cat", satoru prayed, unsheathing the living creature tucked snuggly in the basket as his entire soul flew out of his body.

"NANAMI! IT'S AN EMERGE—"

the blonde male immediately hung up on his colleague as every time satoru had claimed something being an emergency, it wasn't.

"UTAHIME! IS THIS A PRAN—"

the dark-haired woman didn't even know why she had answered, as she had hung up as quickly as she picked up.

"hello, 119?"

least to say, the police didn't help much, as they thought satoru had called them for a ridiculous reason.

hence, satoru was left with a four-month old child, who already had a head full of pearly white hair and eyes as mesmerizing as gojō satoru himself.

"who's your mother?", satoru sighed, obviously not expecting an answer as he poked the little girl's baby cheeks.

"bleh", marri gurgled out, clenching tightly onto satoru's finger as she tried to suck on it, though pouting once she realized that it was not edible.

satoru couldn't remember who he had fucked and gotten pregnant, as there were many women who were charmed just by his looks.

"should I just send you to the orphanage?", satoru hummed, to which marri had outstretched her hands, waving them in front of satoru.

"ora, ora", she cooed, making satoru raise a brow.

the newborn then proceeded to blow raspberries at satoru, with her spit flying everywhere as she giggled once she saw satoru make a pissed off face.

satoru then combed through his white locks with one hand as he started poking the baby's stomach, making her slap his hand away as she scrunched up her face.

"you watch yourself before I send you away", satoru threatened, to which marri — sensing the sudden change in tone — had started whimpering.

satoru then raised both hands as he tried to calm the baby down.

"w-wait, I was just kidding! look! here's some keys!", satoru said as he hastily snatched his apartment keys and dangled it in front of marri, who only cried louder.

satoru then threw his keys away as he frantically looked around for something, anything that could distract her.

'drinks? shit! there's only champagne!'

"there, there marri. please don't cry", satoru tried to sing, only for the baby to start screaming as satoru's singing was horrendous.

out of ideas, satoru had attempted to carry the child, supporting her head as he carefully lifted the baby out from the basket, making her wailing cease.

satoru patted the girl's back with the lower half of his hand that he used to support her head, making marri sigh as crying was quite tiring.

"thank the lord", the white-haired male breathed out, about to put the child back down before she started whimpering once more, causing him to continue holding her.

"you troublesome child".

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: hi lovelies!!

whether you're from my other jjk book or new here, welcome!! I feel that I write too much angst so I thought I'd try some fluff and crack(fic).

this will obviously not match up with the plot and there might some ooc.

however, I hope you all enjoy and I can't wait to see how this story turns out b/c I, myself, have no idea whatsoever :)