.."Get Gina back before you have nothing but drugs,yo homeboys that will most likely switch up on you tellin you these girls arent nothing, and parties" Mrs. William said to me.

Chris and I visited Peanut's grandmom take make sure she was set. We gave her stacks of bread, also went food shopping for her since she was getting at that age where she couldn't do much. She said it was some disease plus bone density. Chris and I knew she was ready to be with Peanut again but she counted her days and smiled with every chance she had.

"Gina seems like a sweet girl you don't want to be with but at the same time, want to because you think she'll hurt you" She said staring into my eyes with deep concern. I know she meant well for me and only wanted the best for me. She was my grandma ,too. Chris snorted quickly trying to cover it up as a cough. Grandma William scrunched her face up,grabbing her walking stick to wack Chris's knee. He whined loud grabbing his knee,jumping up the couch to get away from her.

"Ow! Damn Grandma!"

"Keep taking me for a joke boy"grunting as she got up out her chair. I held my laugh in as a watch Chris guard his legs with his arms from Grandma.

"We gotta go" I said staring at chris, nodding my head towards the door. We stood up at the same time, looking for grandma she was nowhere in sight. "She prolly busy lets bounce nigga" Chris said swiftly as he walked out of the house. I felt like I needed to check up on her before I left.

"Grandma William Im out!" I shouted.

There was no response which made me wanna go look for her.

"Grandma-" I walked into her bedroom seeing her sit on the bed with her back faced the door. I could hear small sniffles coming from her. I knew it was Peanut's death making her break.

"I miss my baby boy Kayden" She whispered softly to herself. As I walked around the bed, a picture of Peanut and Us was in her hands. Tears were sliding off the picture as they dropped from her eyes. Seeing her like this for the first time broke me all over again. "He was full of laughter, of kindness..." she continued. I sat besides her, throwing my arm over her shoulder.

She leaned into me and let it all out. I couldnt help but to sob. We both needed each other. We both loved Peanut.

"Love that girl, Kayden" Grandma cleared her throat so she didnt sound weak anymore. Wiping her tears she sat up and looked at me. I wiped my tears as soon as her eyes landed on me. Grandma grabbed my wrists and said softly "don't be afraid to love, dont be afraid to show your soft side to a person whose willing to be there for you at your worse times. I know Peanut.. my dear boy.. he would want happiness for you instead of loneliness and street hoes."

"Don't be afraid to be yourself" She said breaking into a small smile. I felt a pang of different sadness wave over me. I knew what I had to do. But I didn't know how. Grandma probably read my expression as quick as lightening because she quickly diagnosed my problem with ideas.

I wasn't a romantic type guy. But Gina deserved everything I could muster up in me. Grandma kissed my forehead ,patting my shoulder.

"Go get her.."

I hopped to my feet, out the door. I needed Gina to understand that I messed up and I needed her. Peanut wanted me to create a big happy family with her. Ima do right by him and her.

especially her.

"Nigga what took you so long? taking a shit? taking a shit in grandma bathroom? fucking her toilet up? damag-"

"nigga shut up" I said hopping into the driver's seat. Starting up the car, i decided not to tell Chris about the conversation with Grandma. I'll let him in on it once I marry Gina.

"Ima drop you off at Kim's crib" I stated as I stopped at a light.

"Kayden, you know me and her-"

"yea I know" I said picking my phone up from the dashboard, dialing a certain number.

"then why the fuc-"

"nigga shut up! damn! talk so damn much. Got me jealous of deaf people right now" frustrated with his mouth I took off as soon as the light turned green.

"Make it right with yo girl, while i do that with mines" I said turning left.

"Mane.. I ain ready I don't know what im gon say to er" Chris sighed, pulling out a backwood from his front pocket.

"You say whats on ya mind, what made you fall in love with her. all of that" I said laughing at myself. When did I become a love therapist?

"okay Dr.Phil" Chris chuckled pearling his blunt. "Don't make a mess in my whip" I said glancing at him every now and then.

"dOnT mAKE uH mEsz iN mY wHiP- nigga shut up" he said, making me laugh and almost lose control of the steering wheel.

"We here, get out."

"Well damn, just kick me out the whip like im some lil Ho'." Chris said as if he was offended.

"Nigga fuck you get out and do what I said" I said getting ready to pull off.

"Yeah yeah whatever nigga you not my pimp no more" Chris said fake winking at me.

"ew Yo' get cho ugly ass on!" I said scrunching my face up goofily. We was both cracking the fuck up. I waited til Kim let him in to pull off. Had to make sure my guy got in safely. Being alone gave me access to my own thoughts about Gina and how I'd approach honestly for the first time since I been wildin' out.

Every other girl I thought of, I wanted sexually and not mentally with them along with it. I just wanted sex.

But now I want love and I only see that shit happening with Gina. She knew everything I didn't and it turned a nigga on. I think I'm ready for her yo!

Parking outside her complex I seen another fly ass car across the street. I couldnt help but gaze at it. That shit was fly as fuck. I kept staring til I got to her building and went inside. I was nervous but I knew I couldnt let her get away.

Knocking on her door, I remembered she'd prolly be in there by herself. which meant less tension or comments from her smart ass mouthed mother.

I can't let her get away.

Knocking again, I was giving my hopes up as seconds went by. She prolly wasn't home. The door opened up and a random nigga appeared.

"Who you?" he asked leaning his head back. He looked like some scrawny hood nigga from east side. That was prolly his whip outside. Fuck he doing at Gina spot? Did I have the right spot?

"aye you probably don't know me. But im here for Gina. Where she at?"

I said looking over him. "Yea I don't know you cuz. You here for my girl? why?" He said with a puzzled look on his face.

He lost me at his girl part. "Fuck you mean ya girl?" I could feel the anger inside me rise slowly as my fingers kept twitching. "As its said is what it means. my bitch, my punani, the girl is mine type time" He looked me up and down.

"Whatchu her old nigga or sumn' tryna rekindle yall relationship?" He said tryna take me for a joke. "Kayden? right? soft ass nigga just lost his bestfriend to my cousin Eli"

The thoughts of Gina disappeared as I processed what this nigga said. I didn't blink or move a muscle. "I took your bitch and you're not getting her ba-

BOOM..

His body dropped backwards within seconds. My gun trembled in my hands as I stood at the front door. How dare this bitch fuck with an op.

Gina appeared from the back part of her crib with shock plastered all over her face.

a blood curdling scream escaped her lips as her legs shook giving up on her as she hit the floor and crawled towards the nigga I just shot. I felt no sympathy for him, only for her. She witnessed a murder committed at her front door. I couldn't take that image away from her. I was mad and upset with her. I shouldve taken our beef somewhere else.

Gina had front row seat to someone getting killed and it was all my fault.

I watched as her body trembled uncontrollably. Our eyes met and I soon regretted it based on how they stared at me with fear. One step forward and she jolted back abruptly.

"He-.. I- what the fuck was he doing here yo!?" I stuttered angrily at her. She couldn't catch her breath as she hyperventilated. I dropped the gun not caring if she was afraid of me at that point. I ran over to her ,wrapping my arms around her fragile shooken up body. She fought to get away from me but I over empowered her and kept her still.

"Please let me go- I can't- my momma was right" She sobbed loudly. I was hurt by her agreement of her momma's word. But I knew I just had to explain myself and she'd understand. "He was cousin's with the nigga who killed Peanut, Gina!" I shouted, shaking her once. She became quiet so I took that chance to speak for myself.

"He teased me about Peanut getting smoked I couldn't control my anger Gina you know that shit hit home for me. I just came from his grandma's house. She was crying in her room about him. How do you think I feel right now?! I know my decision of doing what I did was a stupid one. But I acted on my emotion and how I was raised Gina.. It wasn't suppose to happen infront of you and Im sorry."

She only sniffled quietly. I waited for some type of reaction or comment but we just sat there on the floor. I knew Gina fought hard with herself to not look at the dead body at her front door. I stared with thoughts roaming knowing I just started war with the niggas who shot Peanut. I shot they cousin.

"Chris? come pick up this dead body.. Im at Gina's... nigga stop asking questions and just come get the bitch. Yea, he got a whip too. Ok" with that I hung up. Gina stayed silent as if she was mute. She barely looked at me but I was okay with that anything but her shouting at me to get out.

"Ive realized Ive needed you this entire time ever since I met you" I said leaning against her door frame as she sat in the middle of the bed with her knees up to her chin. She stared at nothing. "yo look at me!" I shouted feeling anger spike up in me.

She switched her head my way. Only her expression was totally different this time. "You want me to hear your confession love bullshit after you TOOK A MAN'S life infront of me?! are you FUCKING serious right now yo!!?" She shouted at me while getting up. "Theres a dead body in my living room and you mean to tell me you wanna express what the fuck you feeling? well now its MY turn" she walked up to me toe to toe, in my face.

"I regret meeting you. I regret waking up the day I met you. I shouldve stayed my ass in bed. Maybe I would be feeling better than I feel right now! MAYBE THERE WOULDNT BE A DEAD BODY IN MY HOUSE. You wanna know how I met Ryheem?"

She asked squinting her eyes at me.

I honestly didnt give a fuck how she met him but I let her continue.

"I was at a party my friend invited me too.. I wasn't in the mood for anything because of you ya know? I met him there and I vented to him about my problems including you and we did nothing, i mean, NOTHING. He knew he was getting himself into trouble talking with me but he didnt care..." She had tears streaming down her cheeks by now. I couldnt help but cry because of what I caused in her heart.

I didn't feel the need to man up and become coldhearted. She made me soft all over and I couldn't help myself to prevent it. Gina was a good person, not fit for me but I wanted her all to myself. I was selfish and I didn't care.

The front door bell rung twice taking us both out of the moment we had. It was either Chris or her mother. I stepped over the body, looked through the peep hole to see Chris's big head. I opened up sighing with relief that it was him instead of her mom. The neighborhood would be flooded with cops from that situation.

"What it's lookin' like?" Chris said before he looked down. "godDAMN" He said loudly covering his mouth. "Don't tell me I gotta clean that nigga blood up you know how I feel about blood Kayden" He said patting my chest with his back hand.

"Naw nigga I got Tico, Marvin, and Lamar to clean this up. Her mom ain' gon be home til later. Its just up to you to get this nigga and his whip out of here".

he nodded his head and began getting supplies such as gloves and a body bag to do his part. Gina watched from her hallway and I looked at her with sincerity. We stared at each other then she turned away. I knew she'd fully understand soon though.

"got it?" I asked Chris. He wiped his forehead off with his hand forgetting his glove was on it. My eyes widened as blood smeared above his eyebrows. "Yo you got a lil.. sumn" I said pointing up at his head. Chris followed my hand with his and after a while he felt the blood on his forehead and passed out.

"Chris?! Ayo chris!" I shouted, slapping him as he laid flat out on the floor.

I wasn't picking this fat muscle toned nigga up. I dialed Lamar for him to tell the rest they gotta help pick Chris up too. They laughed once I told him why Chris passed out. Few minutes later they was here and then they were gone. The blood wasn't all that bad, not to us.

It was cleaned up easily with three niggas scrubbing like they life depended on it. Gina said a few words to me but I knew it would take time for her to open up to me.

I fucked up what we had but it was cool. Id get her back in my good graces soon. She sat on the couch quietly with no expression on her face. I couldnt leave her like that. I dapped up all three of my niggas tellin' them to call me when the job was done. It was just me and her.

"Im willing to talk more if thats okay with you" I said shoving my gun into my back pocket.

"Another time" she spoke up. Gina didn't even look at me which kinda of affected me in a way. "cool, i'll call to check up on you" I said keeping my eyes on her as I made my way to the front door.

As I closed the door behind me ,I watched her slowly break down. Her chest heaved up and down way too hard each time she inhaled and exhaled.

I couldn't leave her.

I walked back in, slammed the door shut behind me. Rushing to the couch I hopped on and pulled her gently towards me. She was like an expensive ass glass I knew would break if I didnt move carefully. I wasn't done being a hood ass nigga though.

I was done being one towards her