I'm in the kitchen eating my bowl of soup in my PJs.

Alicia has her eyes on me the whole time.

I don't feel like talking so I don't say anything to start a conversation.

After a few seconds she walks closer to me and rests her hand warmly on my shoulder.

"Sweet heart that choker looks beautiful on you."

She says warmly and I smile at her.

I've mastered how to fake a genuine smile. After living through so much unfortunate circumstances and still expected to be strong, you learn how to fake being happy.

The trick is to make the smile reach your eyes. Squint enough while smiling so that they can't see the true emotion in your eyes. Eyes are the windows to your soul. The next hack to giving off a facade of being happy is to make sure you linger the smile for at least seven seconds. Gradually make your face go back to normal; don't just stop the smile and look sad again after two seconds. Let people think you relish in your happiness.

"Thank you."

I respond and take another spoon of my chicken soup.

I'm surprised when Alicia then kisses my forehead.

"I know that look all too well."

She states and I'm genuinely confused.

"The look of concealed pain."

She states and I look away.

"I've been talking to Kye and we feel it's best if you both take a break. What do you think?"

I sadly smile and nod my head at her words.

"Kye is going to give you and the kids space until you get back to your old self. I'll be here with you in case you need anything."

"You don't have t-"

"I want to, sweetheart."

She smiles warmly at me.

-----------------

I took a break from working. These days I hangout with Alicia and do girl things with her. It's so weird how much we vibe well together.

"So my girlfriend was telling me about this mother daughter banquet. I am seeing all my 'friends' from college. I dislike those heifers so much -so that means I have to go."

I shake my head and laugh.

"I thought Kye was an only child. You have a daughter?"

I ask while staring at out the passenger's window.

"I'm taking you with me."

My head immediately whips to her direction.

"Pardon?"

"We have to find some beautiful dresses to wear."

She states smiling.

"Do I even get a say?"

I rhetorically ask and she smiles.

"In the style of dress of course."

She responds while parking the car.

I take out Kyle and Alicia takes out Khloe from her car seat.

We enter a huge building which turns out to be a mall.

"So when is the banquet taking place?"

I ask.

"In five weeks."

"And we're shopping now?"

My jaw drops.

"It is never to early to prepare for slayage hunie."

"True. I guess"

After hours of searching, we finally find Alicia the right outfit.

"Grandma you look beautiful. Can we go now."

Kye says making me laugh.

Alicia smiles at her grandson and then looks back in the mirror. For a lady in her late forties/ early fifties, so looks damn good.

"Laila take a picture for me please so I can send to my man. My phone is in my purse."

She points to her bag on the chair and I take the phone that is peaking at the top.

I hold the phone up and start taking pictures.

For the poses Alicia bites her lips in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

"I know this is for your husband Kenneth, but Alicia- you are making us feel uncomfortable."

I state but she ignores me as she continues to pose the same way.

"When you have a man as fine as mine and girls of all ages try to come on to him, you have to spice up your relationship every chance you get. Plus I have been away for two weeks. Girl I need to remind him of what he has."

I shake my head and wonder if I will ever act this way as a wife. That's if I ever get married.

Who would want to end up with someone like me anyway. I have so much issues going on. I can't see any guy ever taking me seriously.

After a few mins, it is my turn to star the trying process.

"I want you in a long chiffon dress that drapes along your curves. Oh my Jesus! With sequins and a thigh high split. In a nice spring color since the season is approaching soon."

Alicia calls over a worker and repeats what she just told me. The worker leaves to get some dress choices.

I feel overwhelmed.

"What's wrong mom?"

My little Kyle says to me.

He walks over to give me a hug.

I kiss him on the forehead.

"This is just allot. I feel like I'm trying on dresses for my wedding."

I mutter out and Alicia's face splitting smile makes my heart drop.

"You're marrying Dad?"

Kye asks with a smile and I am shocked.

"Why you look so happy?"

I ask and am shocked at Kyle's response.

"Because he loves you so much."

I'm thrown back by his statement.

"How would you even know what love is?"

I realize Alicia is quiet but is totally engrossed in our conversation.

"Everyday he calls at least three times a day. He spends half of the conversation trying to figure out if your are okay. If you ate anything. If you're happy, and what did you do. He always tries to get information about you, and is always sad if you are not happy. He always talks about you."

"What does he say?"

I can't hide my curiosity.

"If it's not your smile it's your hair. If it is not your hair, it's how kind or caring you are. He's so happy when you are around. He always thinks about you. He got this big mansion for us, and treats us so well. If that's not love I don't know what is."

I am speechless.

Alicia is silent too.

This coming from a 6 year old.

------

These past four weeks I have grown an immense bond with Alicia.

She is slowly renting a home in my heart. The kids love her as well, and as much as I hate to admit I miss Kye, her presence is helping me allot.

"I can't believe you are leaving us."

I tell Alicia as I ride with her to the airport.

Ky and Khlo are home with Rosealina. I want to see Alicia off safely.

Alicia looks at me and I am surprised when I start tearing up.

"Love. Why are you crying?"

She wraps her arms around me and gives me such a comforting hug.

"I didn't think I could grow so close to you in such a short time."

I confess.

I did not work at all these four weeks Alicia stayed.

Everyday we spent either cooking with Rosealina or going out to eat with Rosealina. We stayed up every night talking about life, and so much more. It hurts knowing I won't see her tomorrow night.

"Lilia I see you as my daughter. I love you so much. Words cannot describe how grateful I am that my son has formed relations to you and that your late sister has blessed me with my grand babies."

Her eyes are shinny and I am so shocked.

" I understand you may not want to talk about Kye, but just know he has changed tremendously since meeting you. He is a good guy that genuinely cares about you and his kids. When he called me to come I heard the desperation in his voice to make you happy, and I have noticed a great change in you too. "

My chest tightens as I hear Kye's name.

"I do miss him."

I admit.

However missing him is and understatement. I think about him everyday, and I just wonder if I run across his mind half as much as he does mine.

"I know he misses you too. Every day at least three times he texts or calls me to check up on you. 'mom what is Laila doing?' 'Is she eating?' 'Is she stressed?' 'Does she look happy?' 'Do you think she misses me?' "

I get mad at myself for feeling undeniable content from hearing he checks up on me.

I can't fight the fact that I miss Kye so much and want him back. I guess absence makes the heart grow founder.

"What if we don't work out?"

I ask a question that has been on my mind.

"You wouldn't know if you don't give it a try. In addition if it does not work, that is okay. Nothing would change, but you owe it to yourself to at least try to be happy."

I nod my head.

"You are such a beautiful genuine person. You deserve to be happy."

She says kissing me on my forehead.

I watch Alicia get out the limo and I help with her luggage.

"Don't forget this weekend is the banquet. Maybe you can bring an escort. Call up someone."

She says winking to me.

-----////

It is the night of The banquet and I have not called up any escort. I just don't want to go through the trouble.

The banquet is in New Jersey. So I am bringing the the kids to New York to Alicia's house and we will leave from there.

We take a plane to get to New York. I'm excited to see everyone. I get to see Aunty Rachel, Haley and Henry. I know they miss me and the kids so much. After the banquet, we plan on staying in New York for a few days. We'll be staying with Alicia and her husband.

I buzz the doorbell of Aunty Rachel's home and immediately the door swings open. I am then trampled by three bodies.

I swear I can't breathe but enjoy the love any way.

--------

"So how long are you staying?"

Henry asks me.

Since I came he has not left my side.

"I have to meet Alicia in an hour to get ready with her, but am planning on staying in New York for a couple of days. I am going back Tuesday night."

Henry looks sad.

" I miss you so much Lai."

He says leaning his head on my shoulder.

"Me too."

Haley says while resting her head on my other shoulder.

"Me three!"

Aunty Rachel shouts from the kitchen making me smile.

She's baking with the kids.

"You can just move in with me." Henry says making me laugh.

"Henry don't you have to focus on bringing a baby in this world. You have enough responsibility."

My eyes widen.

"We have to talk about that."

I say lowly so Aunty Rachel won't hear.

Henry is silent and looks tense.

"And Haley you have to put me on about your relationship. Before I leave we are we are spending the whole day together."

I state and both nod.

The rest of the hour we spend talking.

When it's time for me to go, I leave the kids with Aunty Rachel and call a can to take me to Alicia's address.

I get there in less than 45 mins.

When I get by Alicia, I am not surprised to see a make up artist, nail technician there.

Alicia always goes full out.

"Hey Laila!"

Mathew Kye's father greats me.

"Hey Mathew!"

I great back just as warmly.

"Want a beer?"

He asks me and I nod.

I follow him to the kitchen and stare at his shoulders as he walks.

He is a handsome man. He and Alicia are a sexy MīLF and DíLF couple. They are probably in their fifties but put 20 year olds like me to shame.

He opens a corona with his teeth and hands it to me.

"Thanks"

"So when was the last time you saw my son?"

Mathew asks.

"Over five weeks ago"

It feels longer than that.

"What about you?"

"The last time you guys brought over my grand babies"

He says smiling.

"I'm so grateful for the way you all love both of my kids."

I state and he smiles.

"I'm so grateful to have two grand children to love."

---

"I've never been to one of these."

I confess to Alicia as we get out the limo.

Mathew is escorting her and I am by myself because of my pride bring to big to ask anyone.

Alicia looks beautiful in her long jade color trumpet shape gown. She has a sweetheart neckline and a fur green shall over her shoulders. Her smokey eye make up and nude mate lipstick makes her look like my age. She looks absolutely stunning.

Her husband can't keep his eyes off her. He is wearing a black tux with a matching velvet jade tie. His hair is slicked backs and he looks very handsome. I don't feel worthy to be in their presence.

I really wish that I would have asked someone to be my escort. I could have asked Henry- nah I don't want to give Henry the wrong ideas. He clearly is still not over me.

I know who I really want to see escorting me, but I have too much pride.